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The Sharp Hint Of New Tears - Dashboard Confessional |
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So I've learned that boys are stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
Let me first say this; I've been dating this guy, Galen, for almost three months now. I love him dearly.. in fact, I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. I don't want to imagine my life without him.. Sometimes I even have these crazy thoughts about a future with him.
After saying that, let me rant. You see, as much as I love him, my boyfriend is an idiot. His lack of common sense is frustrating.. to the point of annoying. If he says that he will call me, he usually forgets to. I.E. for the past 4 days, he's said he would call me in the morning before he leaves for work. But, oh look, he hasn't. He was supposed to call me on his lunch break yesterday but did he? No. Now don't get me wrong, and don't think I'm a naive bitch because I *do* know what i'm talking about, he doesn't do this because he doesn't love me.. it's because, as I've said, he lacks common sense. I believe him when he says that he loves me..
But! (And yes, there is always a but.) The things he forgets to do often make me feel like he doesn't love me.
For example, today he was supposed to come see me after work and we were going to go out. He gets off work at four. By 5:30, I was impatient that (surprise,surprise) he hadn't called so I called him. Twice. No answer. Well, my mother happens to be good friends with his mother, so she had called her about something and happened to ask where Galen was. Shocked, Galen's mother replied that he had gone on a church retreat till Saturday night and.. "hasn't he told Shealy(me) already?"
No. No. He didn't tell me. Now, mind you, this may not seem like a big deal.. but this means I won't see him today, I probably won't see him on saturday, and sunday he never comes into town (he lives an hour away.) and I happen to be leaving for fucking Orlando on Tuesday and won't be back till Saturday.
It hurts my feelings that he didn't atleast call me and tell me what had happened. Does he even care? Because of past relationships, and damage done by those relationship, I have these small insecurities about his feelings for me now. If he loved me, he wouldn't pull this shit with me.
I can't break up with him. I can threaten him with it, but it's just an empty threat. I just wish.. I don't know. I want to talk to him but I doubt he'll call me even when he does get back.
Oh hell, I think I'll just go cry for another few hours until I fall asleep.
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