so christopher's mom just heard us on the phone...=( that is really NOT good. i really hope that she doesn't do anything too hasty..i already told her that i was sorry and shit..why can't she accept that? i love christopher and would do anything for him..i feel so bad right now..well..i'm gonna go attempt to sleep...
|Subject:||i'm such a terrible person.|
|Music:||"The Leaving Song"-AFI|
i feel totally awful for saying this, but it's so true.
i hate my mom.
i have never felt so much dislike for a person ever. i just wish she'd leave me ALONE. i don't understand the things she does or says and she treats me like i'm retarted...
maybe i should fufill her expectations..
:::puts on helmet and searches for drool cup:::
duhh.......whea is mah drool cup?! :::slobber:::::
-Poisoned hearts will never changed..-
|Subject:||The summer wind came blowin in..|
|Music:||"Summer Wind"-Frank Sinatra|
i am so completely and utterly tired. i went to bed around 1030ish and then woke up around 255 and talked to my sweetheart until 645..he's the sweetest :)
christopher (5:36:53 AM): Your gonna get it hehehehehe
me (5:37:10 AM): what am i gonna get huh?
christopher (5:38:05 AM): My unlimitted ammount of love :)
as of now i'm talking to dusty since the other 20 some odd people online are away..well it is time for breakfast......
-And still the days those lonely days they go on and on..and guess who sighs his lullabys through nites that never end..my fickle friend the summer wind-
i didn't really do much today. i woke up around 10 and helped my mom and sister move the washing machine. i gave tony a bubble bath and my neighbor came over and borrowed my clippers. i guess they're going to be showing soon so i didn't mind her borrowing them-hell, she takes care of my horses when i go away. i watched grease again tonite..for the millionth time. i just feel so apathetic :( but my baby is home so i'm not gonna complain..well it's getting late..nite
I don't feel like retyping..here's the convo between me and alanna
xheartbroken88x (9:16:27 PM): OMG
xheartbroken88x (9:16:29 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
LonnIE41188 (9:16:34 PM): waht?
xheartbroken88x (9:16:35 PM): THERE IS A BIG FUCKING SPIDER
LonnIE41188 (9:17:23 PM): hahahahahaha
xheartbroken88x (9:17:39 PM): IT IS IN MY ROOM
xheartbroken88x (9:17:44 PM): UNDERMY RELIGION BOOK
xheartbroken88x (9:18:24 PM): it is seriously scaring me
LonnIE41188 (9:18:47 PM): kill it!
xheartbroken88x (9:18:54 PM): it moves
xheartbroken88x (9:19:25 PM): ewwwwwwwww
xheartbroken88x (9:21:10 PM): i killed that mother fucker
xheartbroken88x (9:21:18 PM): i hope he dies a slow painful death
LonnIE41188 (9:21:30 PM): ewwwwwwwwww
LonnIE41188 (9:21:32 PM): hahahhahahahahaha
LonnIE41188 (9:21:33 PM): hahahahahhaha
LonnIE41188 (9:21:34 PM): omg
xheartbroken88x (9:22:35 PM): omg
xheartbroken88x (9:22:37 PM): it was so scary
xheartbroken88x (9:22:49 PM): i turn around to see something jetting across my carpet
xheartbroken88x (9:22:52 PM): and there IT was
xheartbroken88x (9:22:59 PM): this disease ridden spider
LonnIE41188 (9:23:01 PM): hahahahah like the she mail!!!!!!!!!!
LonnIE41188 (9:23:06 PM): male*
LonnIE41188 (9:23:07 PM): IT
xheartbroken88x (9:23:08 PM): whose death was inevetible
xheartbroken88x (9:23:11 PM): yes it was an it
LonnIE41188 (9:24:59 PM): hahahahhahhaha
LonnIE41188 (9:25:13 PM): omg its like a horror story...the death of this spider
xheartbroken88x (9:25:32 PM): it was racing across my floor
xheartbroken88x (9:25:35 PM): then i spotted him
xheartbroken88x (9:25:43 PM): i ran to the kitchen for paper towels
LonnIE41188 (9:25:52 PM): hahahahaha
xheartbroken88x (9:25:54 PM): while he was detained under my religion book
xheartbroken88x (9:26:05 PM): i came back and to my horror he was escaping
xheartbroken88x (9:26:18 PM): his disgusting little legs were emerging from the book
xheartbroken88x (9:26:23 PM): it was an evil spider
xheartbroken88x (9:26:28 PM): i screamed "AH!"
xheartbroken88x (9:26:34 PM): you mother fucker will die i thought
xheartbroken88x (9:26:55 PM): so i took my cd player and layed it across the book
xheartbroken88x (9:27:01 PM): in hopes to squish this evil beast.
xheartbroken88x (9:27:04 PM): no such luck
xheartbroken88x (9:27:11 PM): he wouldn't die
xheartbroken88x (9:27:21 PM): i then removed the book and went "DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKER DIE"
xheartbroken88x (9:27:44 PM): and squished his little brains and guts between the many layers of paper towls
xheartbroken88x (9:27:53 PM): i ran through the house to the kitchen
xheartbroken88x (9:28:04 PM): tossing him in the garbage can cursing that evil thing
LonnIE41188 (9:28:16 PM): hahahahhahahaha
xheartbroken88x (9:28:17 PM): then skipped joyfully backed to my room knowing i had done good
LonnIE41188 (9:28:18 PM): hahahahahahhahahahha
xheartbroken88x (9:28:19 PM): THE END
|Music:||Listening to "I Love the 70's" on VH1|
It really annoys me when people breathe in deeply then let it slowly out their nose. that noise is just so annoying.
Do drugs?: nah
Give oral sex?: nah
Receive oral sex?: nah
Koro Trizuma (8:27:31 PM): notice she left have sex blank?-
ha ha! i'll never tell.....
every morning i put my clothes in the dryer to dewrinkle and warm them. well, why not do it with my underwear too? the feel of warm underwear will be a great start to the day.
-Your taste still lingers on my lips like I've just placed them upon yours and I starve, I starve for you..-
You know you're in love when you can say anything to the person and you know they won't laugh at you. When you can see their face when you close your eyes. When you can still feel their arms around you holding you tight long after they are gone. When you can still taste their kiss after you have said good-bye. You can tell you're in love when you miss them before they are gone. When their voice lingers in your ears. When their presence eases any pain. When their name sends chills down your spine. When they are the only thing you can think about. You know you're in love when you can see all their hopes and dreams and their soul when you look into their eyes. When they call you at four in the morning and say, "I love you" and mean it. When your tears stain not only their shirt, but also their heart. When they are hurt just because of these tears. When even a simple chore done with them can become a lasting memory. Ultimately, you know you're in love when you can't imagine living without them, and can't figure, how did you live before you knew them. When they fulfill every need and without them you are incomplete. The love of someone else completes the heart, and soul, and mind all at once.
i really should be sleeping now, but i just can't. i talked to christopher on the phone for a few hours tonight. it hadn't quite hit me yet how much i missed our late night talks...i never thought i could miss something so simple so much. i never fully grasped how much i missed his voice until tonite. when weeks went by without hearing it, it got distant as the days would pass, but hearing him and having him tell me he loves me was pure bliss..i couldn't ask for anything better.
life has been really good lately. school is going good, i have the love of my life home and things are just great.
I love life.
yet another boring evening in the life of laura....
i tried calling ck-no answer =*(
-My love is home..-
As things blow up in my face with ck..i have to go to school =(
if things could only get anyworse..
i feel terrible what i've done and have failed to do..=*(
Christopher, if you're reading this..i love you
-Hope has sprung a perfect day a perfect life a slowly crafted monologue signaling my DEFEAT-
|Subject:||another lovely day..|
|Music:||"What's The Matter With Parents These Days"-NoFX|
i can't stand people who are intelectually challenged and cannot hold a conversation about anything besides their pathetic everyday lives...
i also can't stand people who accuse of you of being racist. i am not a racist. do you hear that? I AM NOT A RACIST. i never have been.
i'm not a pathological liar either. where someone pulled that out of their ass, i have no clue. but let me inform you all again- I AM NOT A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. i never have been.
just because i can't stand going into a store where people aren't speaking english, and i may comment on that does not make me a full fledge racist. you don't see my sister who doesn't care for black people walking around with a KKK mask and dress on now do ya? DO YA?
it amazes me how idiotic people can be and how quick they are to judge.
all stupid people should die...lol, i hope you know i am just joking around about that.
i also don't like how governments are run. people think america is the greatest fucking country, but they're just like what they're trying to "save". they only let you hear what they want you to, and if something leaks they have a big coverup story. why don't people see that?
i know i'm not the smartest person ever, i'm not even close, but i believe i have SOME commom sense.
we're moving. don't know when or where, but we are. we just moved 3 years ago!!
ck should be home any week now. that is a very good thing =) i'm awaiting the day where i'll finally be able to talk to my sweetie-and i don't mean a 4.5 min bs convo. this makes me EXTREMELY happy ;D
well, i guess i'll stop bitching.
-The smile on your face is all the proof I need to see that you are miserable-
|Subject:||la la la..|
things around here have been pretty boring. school is back into the swing of things and i must say, this year isn't as bad as i thought it would be...
i've been really tired lately..
ck is coming home soon. that's something i'm looking forward to. i hope that things go right and he's able to be here for our one year. that would mean the world to me :) if he isn't here, we can just celebrate it when he does come back.
i really can't stand people who try to understand and it brings them further from what i'm feeling. they say "well he could be in the sandbox" or "how could you actually love him" i wouldn't wish this on anyone, so i guess most of them will never know. *sigh*
well, i guess i'm done boring y'all. goodnite<3
No one ever said it would be this hard..
|Subject:||it's just one of those days|
today is one of those days that nothing goes right. today in driving i almost got hit by retarted drivers-twice. our washing machine broke and somehow it semigot blamed on me. it's my fault i can't drive to and from school yet. it's my fault my mom is being a bitch. and it's all just my fault.
i got another letter i sent ck back today-i didn't take to well to that.
it made me think about him too much. i just want him to come home, and he will be.
in a month<
i don't appreciate that.
i wish he never left, but there's nothing i can do about that. he'll be home soon enough. i know i'm luck that i get my soldier home, but being the brat i am-i have to have him here right now.
i know i shouldn't be so selfish, but you would be too if you were in my spot. well, probably not. i'm just a really selfish person and i have to have what i want when i want it-what a great quality to have eh?
i hate my schedule and my classes basically suck. tar and coffee man is my home room teacher. lovely.
I'm off to clean my room-bye.
-I'm reading your note over again and there's not a word that I comprehend except when you signed it I'll love you always and forever..-
touch so tender
sets me on fire
a kiss, a sigh
I'm consumed with desire
you are my love,
i want you so
promise me you never will go
i never knew it could be like this
i never knew i could get so lost in a kiss.
your lips posess me, i am yours, my love;
surely you were sent from heaven above.
|Subject:||the best day ever.|
my life is great right now.
CK is coming home.
|Subject:||la la la|
la la la la la
nothing fun here
my life is boring.
im going to the mall today
no call for laura on her 11 month...
-It's always you in my big dreams..-
|Music:||"Letters To You"-Finch|
i haven't updated in a week..well there really isn't anything new here. i got my home room assignment (205) and i got my books. i won 1st and 2nd place today at the horse show which was good. uhm..today is me n ck's 11 monthaversary and no letter, or call. i got to watch tom brady play last nite-that was good =D i have to take up more responsibility at home now since i don't do enough it all started when i mouthed off to my mom (she deserved it though =x)...oh well nothing i can do about it now...the horses are doing good and i haven't done any summer reading.we almost got hit by a jillion tornados, but you know what? i don't care anymore =D i've really stopped caring about a lot of things and i've become more curt. people as far as i'm concerned can go fuck themselves or keep their mouth shut if nothing intelligent will be coming out of it. it really annoys me when people make these stupid as fuck comments they pull out of their ass and so i'll do it right back to them =D well, i'm off to feel the horses
-I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you so..-
|Subject:||bored bored bored|
|Music:||"I'm Already There"-Lonestar|
last kiss: may 11th, saddest kiss of my life
last good cry: last nite
last library book: don't remember
last movie seen: local boys
last book read: the hobbit (for school)
last cuss word uttered: shit
last beverage drank: water
last food consumed: hot pocket
last phone call: jessica..last week?
last tv show watched: emeril live
last time showered: 30 mins ago
last shoes worn: my barn boots
last cd played: lonestar
last item bought: stamps
last thing downloaded: some music
last annoyance: dana
last disappointment: myself
last soda drank: pepsi
last thing written: this
last key used: s
last word spoken: whisper
last sleep: 7 am
last sexual fantasy: well?..
last weird encounter: umm...i dunno
last ice cream eaten: bear foot brownie
last time amused: earlier when i flung dirt at someone
last time wanting to die: can't remember
last time hugged: dana
last time scolded: last nite
last time resentful:
last chair sat in: my comp chair..lol
last lipstick used: lipgloss is better
last underwear worn: my american flag ones, gotta support my man!
last bra worn: grey sportsbra
last shirt worn: a black independent tee
last time dancing: today, in the rain-but real dancing may tenth :(
last poster looked at: football :)
last show attended: uhm
last webpage visited: bluty
1 MINUTE AGO: talked to mike
1 HOUR AGO: took a shower
1 DAY AGO: talked to erin
1 WEEK AGO: slept
1 YEAR AGO: fell in love forever..
What do you most like about your body?: eyes
And least: tummy
How many fillings do you have?: none
Do you think you're good looking?: i don't think i'm terribly god awful
Do other people often tell you that you're good looking?: christopher does <3
Do you look like any celebrities?: nah
What's your favorite cheese? white american
How long do you hold onto odd socks before giving up on finding their mate? a week lol
Who was your favorite musical artist when you were 15? i am 15 and sugarcult
What shape are your fingernails in right now? short and squared
Two scoops: ?
What's your earliest memory? 2nd xmas
When does your pet look funniest? when they're tired
What do you collect? jewelry
What's better than sex? presents from the one you had sex with ;)
What things are you brand-loyal to? hmmm
Favorite Dr. Seuss book? i luv em all
Best meal you've had lately? hot pockets! w00t
Peanut Butter and ________? jelly
Who's your favorite poet? Ben
Where are you going on vacation this year? england
If you could change careers tomorrow with no strings attached, what would you be? vet
Whaddya drive? Nothing yet but soon to be a toyota 4 runner
What's your poison? i'd tell ya, but i'd have to kill ya
The color of the carpet on your floor? tan
What's on your walls? blue paint
Birthday: 5 10 88
Do drugs?: nah
Give oral sex?: nah
Receive oral sex?: nah
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: yea
Believe there is life on other planets?: sure
Still love him/her?: always will
Read the newspaper?: sometimes
Have any gay or lesbian friends? some
Believe in miracles?: yes
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: i hope
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: most of the time
Consider love a mistake?: not at all
Have a favorite candy?: yea
Believe in astrology?: nah
Believe in magic?: yep
Believe in god?: to some extent
Have any pets: yep
Do well in school?: yep
Wear hats?: yep
Have any piercings?: 2 per ear
Have any tattoos?: not yet
Hate yourself?: not really
Have an obsession?: nah
Have a secret crush?: nah
Have a best friend?:yes
Close friends?: yes..
Wish on stars?: still wishing..
Like your handwriting?: nope
Care about looks?: not really
First crush: charlie
who did i fantasize about today? my love <3 lol
Single or attached?: attached
Ever been in love?: am
Do you believe in love at first sight?: yes
Do you believe in "the one?": yes
Describe your ideal significant other: I have him
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: yes
Have you ever been intoxicated?: no
Favorite place to be kissed?: cheek
Shy to make the first move?:nope
=Are you a=
Dork: whale dick
Brat: not really
Sarcastic: oh yes
Angel: to some
Devil: to others
Shy: i can be
Talkative: to people i am comfortable with
Flirty: with my SO
Rock: and roll
-- Your heritage: italian/british
-- The shoes you wore today: paddock boots
-- Your weakness: christopher
-- Your fears: being alone
-- Your perfect pizza: cheeseless
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: become a vet
-- Your most overused phrase: you wanna know what? go to hell!
-- Your thoughts first waking up: another lonely day..
-- Your best physical feature: eyes (well that's what the shark says)
-- Your bedtime: when i go to sleep 11 school year whenever in the summer
-- Your most missed memory: my 15th bday
-- Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: bk
- Single or Relationship: relationship
-- Adidas or Nike: adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: wuts the diff
-- Chocolate or vanilla: choc
-- Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino
-- smoke: no
-- Cuss: all the time
-- Sing: when i'm alone
-- Take a shower everyday: yes
-- Have a crush(es): only one
-- Want to go to college?: most def
-- Like high school: yes
-- Want to get married: YES :-D
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes
-- Get motion sickness: no
-- Think you're attractive: not really..the shark thinks i am
-- Think you're a health freak: nah
-- Get along with your parents: it'll be a cold day in hell....
-- Like thunderstorms: love em
In the past month...
-- Made Out: nah
-- Gone on a date: no
-- Gone to the mall?: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nah
-- Eaten sushi: no
-- Been on stage: no
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: yea
-- Gone skinny dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: no
-- Stolen anything: no
-- Been caught "doing something": yea.....
-- Been called a tease: by frank *runs for the soap*
-- Gotten beaten up: nah
-- Shoplifted: no
-- Age you hope to be married: june 06
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 5 boys and girls...Jame Corey, Alexia Lynn, Rachel Marie, Bradley Robert
-- Describe your dream wedding: a nice traditional wedding
-- How do you want to die: in my sleep
-- Where you want to go to college: umass
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: vet
-- What country would you most like to visit: france
In a person
-- Best eye color? brown
-- Best hair color? brown
-- Short or long hair: short
-- Height: taller than me
-- Best weight: bigger than me but not too fat
-- Best articles of clothing: shirts
-- Best first date location: beach
-- Best first kiss location: somewhere fun
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: one
-- Number of CDs that I own: 50ish
-- Number of piercing: 4
-- Number of tattoos: :none yet
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: 1
-- Number of scars on my body: tons lol
can't you tell i was bored?
-Imthe beat in your heart Im the moonlight shinin down Im the whisper in the wind and Ill be there till the end can you feel the love that we share oh Im already there-