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Tuesday January 20 2004
@01:22pm |
From the 17th
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This week we met with the mother of the baby we were considering adopting. After the meeting I started to think--a rather rare occurance as I keep my brain for emergency use only--and I am having a difficult time accepting the fact that we should not adopt that baby. We have the means to help the mother keep her baby and she really does want to raise her daughter herself. She will be a good mother, the way she is already taking care of that baby. She just needs some help to get started and one of those would be a good part time job. And Conan just offered that to her in the new Budapest office. So she can already work there a few weeks before the baby is born, becoming eligible for a small apartment paid for by the company and then she can bring the baby to work when she is 6 weeks old.
You know, I am an adoptee. I was thinking about all those hard times I had trying to find my own identity, my roots, the struggles I had not being like my parents and the desire to know who my "real" parents were. And I saw the love in this young woman, the love and concern she already felt for her child and the longing to raise her. We took her--her name is Mari--out to lunch and exchanged phone numbers. That was what.... Wednesday. Then on Thursday she came to see us and she was there when Conan came over asking me to reword an advertisement to recruit new employees. And at that very moment it turned out that she has all the qualifications that were needed. So yes, we saved some money on the advertisement. Yes, we will keep in touch with her. And yes, we are continuing our quest for a baby.
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Sunday January 18 2004
@10:07am |
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Yesterday as I was unloading the dishwasher Hannah came up to me and said, "Dad, when I start first grade in September I want you to take me with Dad." Now that might sound odd, but it was very special. Hannah called me Dad for the first time to me. Sometimes she refers to me as her dad to others, but this was the first time she called me that. And no, it couldn't have been a slip of the tongue. She does not call me Dan. She calls me Daniel.
Another thing that was special was the fact that she expressed a wish to stay here for a longer period of time. I wonder what her mother will think. We are still hoping she'll change her mind and apply for a job somewhere close to us, so we can still see Hannah when she is no longer with us. I really grew to love her these last few months.
I was supposed to watch Derek for Kevin during part of the night. Derek had a series of seizures during the last two days and Kevin was just way too tired to stay up to watch him. So I agreed to go downstairs and help out a bit. But what happened? I got a very nasty cold that I don't need to drag into their home. So it took me quite a while to get a replacement. I am happy to report that the night went uneventful and I once again managed not to mess someone's life up.
On a different note Megasztár was amazing once again. Unfirtunately I didn't get to watch it all as it was on at the same time as Zsolt Erdei's box match for the WBO World Champ title. So I had to watch that as well. It was great, but I guess next time I'll choose Megasztár over it. By the way, I think I am all ready to buy the Megasztár CD. I really like Leslie and Schmidt Vera at this point but the whole group is amazing. Gergő, who was voted out last night was also good, but he is a better dancer than singer. Maybe that is why he is in the Szeged Contemporary Ballet Company (or something like that)? Anyway, really great show.
Work is getting closer. Duh. I wish it was already starting. I need to keep busy or I'll get depressed again.
Taylor is in the MTC. I sent him a letter yesterday.
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Monday January 12 2004
@10:22am |
Entry from yesterday
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I finally managed to copy all the entries from my undisclosed personal blog over to my Blurty. They were backdated (thank you,  ceadsearc, for telling me how to use this option) and as such they don't show on your friends page with this one, so you should get over to rubber_duckiez, look at my green layout, check out my new links and little pics I just added and read those entries, including the great Adoption News.
So anyway, today is Sunday and next week this time I will be at choir practice. Isn't that just wonderful?
Now, to be a little more brain dead I am going to write about Megasztár, which you, dear reader, might find just as boring as I found some very long accounts of American Idol. (Ok, so that person is not on my friends list any more.)
Megasztár is a Hungarian invention and it is surprisingly good. The first two shows were absolutely hillarious. They were showing random people trying out for the show--you know, casting journal. Some people were good. More were ok. And a few... Well, a few were just flat out funny! And then the first few rounds were simply amazing! There were 5 regionals, with two winners and a backup from each, and then there was a viewers' choice from those not selected by the jury. So yesterday those 6 people were competing and two of them made it to the finals. Now every week one person will be voted out.
The two guys who won last night were simply amazing. One of them is a professional songwriter, he was just simply AMAZING. The other guy was minority (Romany) with an amazing singing voice and a good English pronounciation. He sang R Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly and it was simply superb. There was another Romany guy that sang some beautiful R&B, but these two were just totally superior.
Oh, man, I haven't been this tired for so long. It has been really cold. I had to walk quite a bit today and I was so cold that I jumped straight under the shower and the cold water felt warm. I couldn't help but think of all the homeless people. There aren't that many in our town, but every time I am in Budapest and take the Metro I see them in the underground walkways. I always get uncomfortable when I see them or when they approach me for money. I sometimes buy their newspaper, but I can't do that all the time. Sometimes I offer whatever food or extra clothing I have with me, if they want it okay, if not... I can't give them all money. I wish I could.
What I can do though, is to do fundraisers. Much like the ones I used to do for our MS group...
Mentioning the MS group... Darn, I am vice president! I have no idea how I ended up being that! Especially since I am possibly not an MS patient any more. (The Bone Marrow Transplant might have taken care of that--at least I had no further episodes since then.) I just suddenly found myself elected. Which is kind of fun, but definitely requires more tact and diplomatic skills than I have.
The first thing I did as a vice president to enroll my sister-in-law as a volunteer beautician to visit the ladies who otherwise can't get to the beauty shops....
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Friday January 9 2004
@07:25pm |
Adoption Lady
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WOW! The Adoption Lady (AL) just left. She was very pleased with our family, our home, the way things were and she signed the papers approving us (well, me in a domestic process and Jim in a foreign process) as potential adoptive parents. It was oretty nice as she came two hours before she said she would so we were still cleaning after breakfast and Derek and Kevin were upstairs as well, helping with tidying the house up.
She had been staring at my eyes during the whole interview/visit, so I finally asked her what she found interesting about them. I could tell that she had a question and I was right. She asked me if I had Waardenburg Syndrome as she saw that Derek was deaf and we both had very brilliant blue eyes and I have more grey hairs than my age would warrant. I told her I had never had genetic testing done, so I cannot say yes or nor, but that I definitely had at least three of the symptoms: the eyes, the hair (though no white patch) and a slight hearing loss, not enough to require a hearing aid.
The AL got very excited when I told her that and she said that we might have a baby very soon, if we would be interested in taking a potentially Waardenburg baby (the mother has the syndrome) because the mother wants an open adoption and so far no one took the risk of a potentially disabled child.
Now that option required consideration, so we invited the AL to lunch and had family council. At the end.... Jim and I decided we'd go with the adoption. We'd take the baby if the mother and us liked each other. A meeting is being arranged for next week, at a neutral location in Budapest. Please, everyone keep your fingers crossed for us! We just cannot be this lucky! I mean... This is like a miracle! We decide to adopt when a baby with certain needs happens to be on the way and we can meet those needs! Oh, man, I cannot wait!
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Wednesday January 7 2004
@10:31am |
Parents--a mystery
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The parents issue is back. GRR. So, I am officially confused.
So yes, my father sent me an e-mail. He told me he wanted me to write to Ty while he is on his mission. What's up with that? First of all my last info was Ty not going on a mission. Then it seems he is is going after all. Besides my dad always wanted to keep the "kids" away from me, and now he wants me to write not only to Ty, with whom we are very tight, but to Taylor as well! Insane. Great, I will write them.
What confused me more than anything, however, was the fact that my dad sent me a Christmas gift! It is a gift certificate to Deseret Books, so I decided to spend it on some nice missionary things for Ty and Taylor. I ordered both of them the What I Wish I Knew books, some stationary, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People and some cheapsy music. Yeah, I know. Don't mention it. I know I don't believe in the Church any more. But they do, and that is what matters at this moment. I won't discourage them. It is their spiritual journey, they will have to find out what they find good and true and what they don't.
Anyway, so my father e-mailed me twice in two days. I wonder what he really wants from me? I am scared of being hurt by him again. Shall I give him one more chance?
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Tuesday January 6 2004
@06:27pm |
Vízkereszt, vagy amit akartok
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The subject is the Hungarian title of Shakespeare's Twelth Night, one of my favorite plays.
Today we are celebrating an extra Christmas--the package that contained Derek's gift for Kevin just arrived today. The precious gift was a digital camera. They are all goofing around, taking pictures, laughing, having fun. Good food and good wine on the table and things just look perfect.
We got a call from the adoption specialist, and she told us that the only negative thing for me can be my health status and being a single parent. So it seems that the adoption will go through Jim's name. She also scheduled a visit for Friday. So on Friday she will come to see how we live and all that other jazz so we can be approved--hopefully--to adopt.
I am getting all excited and hyper over soon becoming a father. I hope it will be soon. Children are so great! I just look at my nephews and I just feel loved and appreciated. There is nothing more precious than teaching a child. Maybe that is the reason I decided to leave my well paying business job and take on a zoo full of wild animals (= teenagers) at a high school and try to teach them English. It will be a great adventure of my life, I believe. I am barely older than some of the students. Ack!
In the meantime I am planning on applying to college, correspondence course and actually get a degree in English/education. Do it professionally. Teach. Shape lives. Guide young people. Help them learn, help them grow. Wouldn't that be marvellous?
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Monday January 5 2004
@03:59pm |
Home again
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Well, I am back, once again. We went skiing for a few days, leaving poor Kevin alone to care for the babies, his parents and the house. When we got home yesterday the house was all clean. Beautiful.
Skiing was fun. This was Hannah's first time and she loved it! I always loved skiing in the Alps, so I am very happy that we got free passes for both days we paid for the room, so we only had to buy a pass for the first day there, which allowed us to actually get Hannah in a kids' class. She absolutely loved it, but I think for her the highlights of the trip were the snowball fight with Jim, skiing in the kiddie slopes with him, as well as building snowmen and drawing snowfamilies.
Sometimes I wish Hannah considered me more than a buddy. Maybe that would ease my longing for a child. I really want to have children, and today Jim and I visited a family law specialist. Jim and I started a foreign adoption process. This will be a rough ride, but maybe we will have a baby by next Christmas. Maybe not for years. The attorney encouraged us, the fact that we are American may help us find a baby sooner.
I remember, just a few months ago I was writing about how I was not ready for children, but then I had these precious months with the twins and Hannah and I realized that I do want to be a father. I want to reaise children.
We got home from skiing around 4 p.m. yesterday, and then Derek came home a little after 11 a.m. this morning! It was awesome to see him home....
I better get something to eat. I am starving. Will write more later!
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Monday December 29 2003
@10:15pm |
CSI surprise
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I am watching CSI--pure luck, it used to be on Thursdays and all of a sudden I see a familiar face: Hungarian actress Dobó Kata playing "Chloe Samms" in episode: "Lady Heather's Box" (episode # 3.15). Darn, I so wish I could have heard her accent!
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Monday December 29 2003
@09:43pm |
Viasat3
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Oh, my I just saw the commercial for Késő Este Hajós Andrással (Late Night with Hajós András) on Viasat3. It cracked me up! Hajós (the singer of awesome band Emil.Rulez!) is playing Activity with his Teddy Bear, trying to guess the title of his show! It is just hillarious. Or at least I think so.
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Monday December 29 2003
@02:36pm |
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Well, using one of misscharlie's templates my brother has been in the process of creating a nice layout for me. It is still under construction, so if anyone has any suggestions we would love to have them!
Now the last few days have been dense for all of us. Derek is still struggling with meningitis and its results, most of them we hope to be only temporary.
What makes life a lot harder at home is the presence of Kevin's parents. While I find them delightful I can absolutely sense the tension between them and Kevin. That makes it harder for the kids as well as for us. I think this is what it is like if my father and I are in the same city. Seriously.
The other day I had to take Matthew to Vienna to get some new clothes made for him, and while their I stopped by at the hospital. Because of some Christmas miracle I was allowed to take him upstairs to see Derek through the glass door. Matthew was dressed in little scrubs, a little mask, booties, and he had a blast discovering everything. I doubt he actually saw Derek, but hey, the important thing is that Derek saw him!
Jim and I went skiing yesterday, actually left the day before and we skied all morning and came back when it started to get dark. It was really nice, I love skiing! That was one great thing about living in Utah, skiing all the time. Now please do not tell my doctor about that. He wouldn't be too pleased! But skiing was fun, more fun then getting my vaccinations again, the first of which I am scheduled to have in a few months. Brrr.
I just made stew, fed the twins, set the table and decided not to eat. I will take a nap instead. And dream of a time when we have children.
Somehow I just started to want children after spending these two months caring for the kids. Provided, Jim has a daughter, Hannah, and I really enjoy having her here. But she won't be here for the rest of her life. And suddenly... I don't want anything in life, but a family. I wish there was a chance for me.
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Friday December 26 2003
@02:31pm |
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First of all, happy birthday to the very talented crosshatch!
Second, so many people have asked me what my favorite Christmas present was that I thought I'd share that here: A basket full of hair care products! Yes, I said hair care!
An equally great present was Derek's smile and the fact that he is feeling better. He no longer has a fever!
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Thursday December 25 2003
@02:13pm |
Merry Christmas, everyone!
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Some quiet time finally! It has been crazy since yesterday afternoon!
We spent Christmas Eve at Conan's house. Conan is Derek's older brother and he has the largest house. There was a lot of food, a lot of kids, singing and lovely conversation. Kevin's parents arrived, and unlike last year they have been simply delightful!
We put a candle in the window that was blown out this morning by Caroline Mary (one of Conan's daughters) and we also lit a candle in memory of the wonderful Justin Kissel, who passed away on Christmas Eve last year. Another one was lit this morning for Derek's friend Péter, who was killed a day after Justin.
This morning we headed over there very early again. All the kids spent the night in the WinterWonderland Conan turned the sittingroom into, and we were there when the kids opened their stockings. Then came a wonderful breakfast and opening presents. The kids were really happy to get all their presents and while several expensive high tech toys were included the rag dolls were the most popular.
After the package opening we came to see Derek. He is awake at the moment and he is being very nice to us. He is trying to smile and act happy. We brought him some last gifts, but as there is still a great pile of unopened gifts on the table I guess they won't be opened for a few more days.
For a sweet poem about Santa's message to Derek, please visit Trap's Journal!
It is about time for us to go home and have the Great Christmas Dinner at home with some of our friends.
Everyone, have a very Happy Christmas!
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Tuesday December 23 2003
@01:57pm |
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So yes, the dinner was Saturday. It did turn out okay, though there were some slight problems. To reduce costs we had to order meals ahead. Everyone had to pick their choice form a simple menu with three choices for each course, making it possible for everyone to order what they like. Simple concept, I believe.
Not so simple when it comes to family members! There is this one sweet lady, mother of three, who has a just-as-sweet husband, who is smart, funny and extremely scatter brained. First he was late dropping of the order. Then he mixed something up and at the dinner I was walking around trying to trade a plate of fried mushroom heads for anything else. So yeah, I spent a good 35 minutes on that. Luckily I found someone who finally gave in. Oh well.
The talks were boring, the choir was good, the kids performing were sweet. Oh yes, we did have a choir, a local elementary school's choir. They were pretty good, I just found it a tad offensive that we specifically asked them not to include religious songs and their selections included two Christmas Anthems.
The food... Well, the food was all right. I was hoping it was going to be better, but the cookies made by the members and their families turned out to be the best. Also Janó's idea of seating cards worked perfectly as people disliking each other got seated far from each other. So there was no bickering, no complaints and no yelling.
To be honest, I had fun, yet I found this evening to be more work than fun. Maybe because of being a bit sick. Maybe because I am a worry wort. But it was a success and that is what matters the most to me.
( Update on Derek )
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Monday December 22 2003
@03:55pm |
Christmas entry
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Finally a normal update.
I have been pretty busy the last week with Christmas preparations and fighting a cold. Luckily I am over the cold and I am CMV free. And the whole house is clean, the decorations are up, bought the tree and the ornaments, and the first round of Christmas baking is done. Some of our vegetarian friends will grace us with their presence on Christmas Day/Boxing Day, so I am trying to produce a tofurkey for them. The fish and the turkey are ready for the baking, the ham is already in the honey. It will be easy to finish cooking the next two days.
Kevin's parents are coming on Christmas Eve. We will have a great dinner and sleepover at Conan's with all the kids. I still want to do some Christmas shopping for Hannah and Craig. We got some toys for both at Tesco, knowing about the financial woes of Derek and Kevin. We got glass painting and some trucks and building blocks for Craig, fingerpaint, some stuffed animals and LEGO's Click It! for Hannah. Got some small things for all the nieces and nephews, well, only those, who will be here. We also shopped for Mum and Dad O'Brien. So now we are mostly done. One more run to Tesco tomorrow at 7a.m.
Kevin just called again. Derek is finally asleep. As I wrote earlier he has viral meningitis, however so far there have been no complications with it. I hope it stays that way.
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Monday December 22 2003
@02:59pm |
GRRRR
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Kevin just called. Derek has viral meningitis.
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Tuesday December 16 2003
@08:26am |
Saturday's post--if Blurty would have cooperated!
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Yesterday Jim and I had some much needed alone time. Leaving all the kids with Kevin we went to Budapest, where we had some chance at fine dining and some intimate time in the "emergency apartment" that Conan let us use.
Jim got off work fairly early. I met him in Győr, from where we drove to Budapest, stopping once to just get a snack that turned into a coffee-and-pastry affair. I let Jim drive as I was feeling slightly tired from a very busy morning with the kids. In Budapest we dropped the car off at the the apartment and went to this nice restaurant on the Körút. I was surprized to see that Chicago (formerly known as EMKE) had closed and that the New York Palace is almost done! I have never seen it without scaffolding, my mom said the scaffolding had been there for like 30 years. Jim promised to take me there once it reopens, I cannot wait to see the place where 20th century Hungarian literature was born. Well, at least quite a bit of it!
I know I hardly ever talk about Jim, and that is because he doesn't like when I write about him. He is rather shy when it comes to the Internet, which he dislikes greatly. Now I have to tell you that his job has quite a bit to do with Internet security and the such. He originally is a paramedic/life guard/health management specialist. He is 32, and he is a Catholic boy from Utah. He lived in Florida and California as well, but I only met him here, in Hungary. He has been here for 4 years--he moved here after getting a divorce. He and his ex married to have their daughter, and when Hannah was little they both moved on.
Anyway, I remember seeing Jim a while before we started to date. I was just complaining to someone that all my life I wanted to date a lifeguard, but I never got to, and then the next day I was introduced to him.We started dating exclusively about a month after that and soon we ended up living together. He has taught me all about love.
After our nice dinner we went to the movies, saw a Hungarian film called Kontroll. What a great night! I will see BKV (Budapest Public Transport) ticket inspectors differently now! Oh, well, make sure you have a ticket!
The rest of the night was spent in bed with some good wine and good music. I can't remember the last time I could just relax and not hurry to do anything. It was very nice. Sleeping in this morning (even though it is a workday now because Christmas Eve will be a day off) was very pleasant. Waking up when it was no longer dark outside was a treat. And breakfast in bed... Yum!
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Thursday December 11 2003
@03:16pm |
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Now yesterday the kids got a package from one of the grandmas. In them were four matching sets of pajamas. More than just simple pajamas--little Star Trek DS9 Star Fleet uniforms! Even for the twins! They look so adorable. And so very geeky! Here we are, raising a new generation of geeks! The twins are getting baby laptops from us for Christmas. With a Linux sticker on the lap top. Yay, you can't start too early! Raise your own Star Fleet!
Other than that. It is getting cold and I am in need of new gloves.
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Wednesday December 3 2003
@03:14pm |
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Today I had to go to Budapest. I got of Bus 7 at Blaha Lujza tér and I was walking to the underground I passed by a lady who had 4 puppies in a box saying "Gazdit keresünk" (Looking for a home). They had their vaccinations and everything and I so wanted to take a puppy home. I wish I could have, but I can't because of Derek. He is very scared of dogs and I am lucky that he is friends with at least his own puppy Gombóc.
Growing up I always had a dog. I love dogs, and I love mixes. I just wish I could have gotten one of these little ones: Soft and warm and furry.....
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Wednesday November 19 2003
@10:27pm |
From an e-mail
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The last two days I was updating my LJ. Pretty long and pretty good update yesterday. And now onto the contents of the e-mail I got from Derek.
The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling! Kids should rule the world, as it would be a laugh a minute for us adults and therefore no time to war or argue.
( Read more... )
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Friday November 14 2003
@02:00pm |
Happy!
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Let me start with a Big Thank You to thespian15 for giving me two months of paid time for my LJ! So for the next 2 months I can add 12 more icons and use the phone post service, which I won't as it is expensive to call the U.S. from Hungary. Anyone out there who wants to leave voice messages on my journal? Let me know! Till then, I am just dancing around happy.
So Mom and Ty decided to stay till after Thanksgiving, which is simply GREAT! Ty had a back surgery not too long before they came and he had two weeks for recovery + 6 weeks of medical absence from school for rehab. It will run out the weekend after Thanksgiving and since he found the spa and the treatment facilities in Budapest quite pleasant he decided it was best for him to stay as long as possible. And for an American, to be honest, these treatments are fairly cheap. Oh, joy! Now what shall we do for Thanksgiving?
I have been helping Ty with his studies. I have to say that general ed is now making me laugh and cry at the same time. How lucky I was to take most of these courses while in AZ! It saved me a lot of boredom.
I am having mild cold-like symptoms, so I had to call the BMT center. They wanted to see me right away so I went there. I got some new antibiotics and they told me to stay in bed. So that is what I am doing. I didn't get to see Derek which I regret. Kevin is still home, so he must be very lonely.
Mom and I had another disagreement about church and faith. I told her that I really did not care if there was a God, but I presonally don't believe in God the way she defines God. I told her that I no longer prayed or taught the children to pray and I'd prefer that she didn't insist on the children (Hannah and Craig in this case) praying or reading Book of Mormon stories to them. Mom replied with a quote from one general authority or another that children need to be raised in the faith so they can choose the path they want to follow. I informed mother that with several good Mormon uncles and cousins nearby the kids will know plenty about the Church and there will be missionaries available when and if they ever want to get into Mormonism deeper. I just don't want these kids to have the negative experiences that I had growing up. If they want to go to Church we let them go. However neither of them expressed any desire to go to Church on Sunday, no matter what was promised to them. Mom thinks she is responsible for the spiritual well being of our children, while I think that while they are in my care I am the one responsible for their teaching and upbringing. I asked mom if she had any idea what her children have done in the last few years--meaning Tyler, Taylor, Trinity, Jaysen and myself--and she had to admit she had no idea about what her good Mormon kids had been up to. We were all raised in the gospel and my parents did not know about my drug abuse and active sex life till after I left for rehab!
Mom is now a bit mad at me, I guess. It really doesn't matter. She will be okay in a few days. When she realizes I am not raising monsters here. I know she will. She is my mommy. I am so very happy they are here.
Ty just realized that his cutsie homepage was deleted by GeoCities. So I gues sit is time that we make him a new one! I just have to find the cutsie background and clip arts again. We always have so much fun working together. So 1stPage, here I come!
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