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..I swear I must be dreaming..

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sooo :::confused::: [09 Jul 2003|12:07am]
i'm so confused right now it's not even funny. well apparently adam and his g/f broke up....becuz that day he IMed me right outta no where.. it made me cry lol. i seriously was fuckin cryin. i was afraid at first.. i had jus put my away message up and it was fairly long, cus well.. yes i am the queen of long away messages, but yea i got brave n scrolled up thinkin he had IMed me to bitch me out, but he said Jennifa.. so i wa slike good.. good.. we can talk. so we talked and he ended up callen me that nite.. so we talked n shit n he started with this i want you to be able to trust me so when we get back 2gether itll be easy n shit like that. n im thinkin helloo i wanna trust you but i cant.. i dont think ill be the same becuz he hurt me too much u kno? like hes lied to me so many times and i just love him with everything i have.... i want us to be perfect cus i kno we could be if he'd just let us. he was the biggest sweetie on the phonet hat night and it made me miss hjim all over... so yeah

i'm assuming he's told his now ex g/f that he loved her... which pisses me off cus i can't ever believe em when he tellsm e.. if het old her and i KNOW he didnt love her what the fuck u kno? i really do love him... it jus' hurts. um..
yeah

so im like wait, what am i trusting why should i trust u? n hes like well 2start, trust that ill talk to u 2morrow.
so im like ok..

the next day comes and ten pm rolls around he hadnt called and i knew he wouldnt but like he didnt go online so i called him, 12 am comes and hes still not online nor did he call, and i knew he wouldnt. i coudnt help but think that he was stoned or some shit n jus said shit cus he felt like it and forgot,. or what... so he calls back eventually and was like "you called?" and i was like yea.. and hes like so what do u want.. n im like arite ive had it.. bla so he went to do xercises n sed hed call back but never did.

today i IMed him to c what the fuck was goin on n im like ahhh thunder! holdm e! and hes like i couldnt even do it.. im like what? and hes like u said for me to hold u n i said i couldnt even do it. im like ohh i thought you meant like, even if i was there uic ouldnt.. and hes like thats what i meant! :) and soo either he has a gf, or theyre back 2gether and im soo hurt..

i love him more than anything i miss him soo fuckin much you don't even know..

-peace.

pleaseeee godddddd send my babi back where he fuckin belongs!!!! hes my babe...ONLY my babe..
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gotta flower from a guy [09 Jul 2003|12:21am]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | ::what might have been:: ]

tonite was okay.. i was plannin on stayin in and like crying over my love. what fun is that? hah. but neway, dan got pissed cus of all this shit, adn the email i sent him and all this.. so he quit talkin to me n it jus pissed me off.. so neway today he calls n tells me to come out becuz he has sumthing and ill like it, so i get in the car and he hands me these flowers.. he's the only guy thats ever gotten my flowers!! it was weird lol... Thanks dan. :) he did it as an apology.. he was like i'm sorry about everything...and cus i told him i didnt want him 2 touch me ne more lol he put out his hand for like a handshake but i gave em a hug. my first reaction was like I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha... if it would have been pink glitter nailpolish i wouldve never guessed..but then i wouldnt be writing this entry now saying i finally got flowers frum a guy b4 now would i? lol

so we ended up goin to get me sum keys made n he knos the guys that work at ace so i got 2 for one... woulda got em for free i guess but the manager was there.. so that wuz pretty cool. we met up with chris and maggie and went chris gave me n her his wallet to go get ice cream frum jewel cus we rented phone booth (awww) so yeah 1st mistake... chris lettin me n maggie go get ice cream by ourselves....second mistake giving us his whole wallet lol! we bought this snickers ice cream n mint m&m's they were like 5.49 hahaha but they were buy one get one free!! so it was 5.60 woo we kno how to bargain!. so we went to tha queen of martyrs parkin lot n fish tailed for fun lol crazy times... then we went back 2 chris' and watched the movie n pigged out on ice cream. he has surround sound in his room ,which was tight. then...john, this grl bridget n i dunno tha other ones name with dan and then nick n mark came over 2.. so we jus chilled up tehre. then i went home.

that was my night. i called adam. :( no response. gahhhh

-peace.

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