So here I am laying here in bed, browsing the web, and suddenly I just got this overwhelming feeling of being so In love, scared, passionate, Lonely, regretful, excited, panicked, and sad I honestly have no idea what emotion was the strongest or anything. All I know is I realized something really important tonight laying here 4am when I should be sleeping since I work again tomorrow and I'm going to be absolutly exhausted. But what I realized is that I love him I love him so much, and I'm never ever ever going to find someone else to come anywhere as close to how I feel about this boy right here at 4am. It's not like I didn't love him before, on the contrary I've loved him for quite some time.
...But it was in the moment that I realized I don't want to loose him. I can't loose him. I have to do whatever in my power to keep him in my life. If I let him slip away like I've almost done so many times then I'm going to loose part of myself. The most important parts of myself I don't know how I ever found him, and how I ever was able to get him, and that will forever be a mystery to me, but I do know that I had him. He was mine. And now he will always be mine. There's no changing that. No other girl can ever take my place with him. Or be able to fill his heart with as much love as i have, and will continue to do. There is no stopping what we have. No other boys in my case. And no other girls in his. Its just him and I against the world.
...and I KNOWin my heart of hearts this is the boy I am going to spend the rest of my life with. No if's, and's, or but's about it. He is my forever. And I want to be his wife one day =]