Wade Robson's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Wade Robson

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i need to stop writing like 5 sentences. [07 Nov 2002|11:23pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | phantom planet, always on my mind ]

so. last night after reminicing... Justin asked me if i had slept with britney. if i was the reason the relationship between them ended. i couldn't lie. i told him.. and then he started crumbling.. sobbing.. breaking down. so what did i do? i made him hit me. yeah. i'm a fool. but, after forcing him to hit me, he did. and i ain't gonna lie. when his fist connected with my jaw, i wanted to cry. but i didnt. i took it like a man. he looked at me, and had this guilt in his eyes. i made him come to me, and i hugged him, kissed him, held him. we're okay now. and every day he proudly wears my ring. it's funny how we work. but we know eachother. so so well.

I love him. and christmas can't come soon enough for me.

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If i didn't have cheese like everyday, would you still wanna be with me? [04 Nov 2002|12:25pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Audiovent - the energy ]

So. as some of you know, I'm with Justin now. I've wanted this for a long time. I've loved him for just as long. He's wonderful. I love him more and more as each day passes. The way he holds me and touches me.. is just breathtaking. I'm glad he's here with me.

Anyway. enough with the mushyness. Justin asked me to be his choreographer when he goes on tour. of course, i accepted. I just hope i have this itchy cast off soon. It's hard to dance with a broken arm. Why, you ask, do i have a broken arm? well. A few days ago, i tried to talk to JC. He's so fucking fusterating. anyway, he pushed me away, literally. my arm flew back and banged into the side of his car. it's fractured in 3 places. so. now, i have a cast that goes from my shoulder, to my wrist. thank you, Jc. thank you. And people wonder why i don't bother anymore. I didn't lie about my feelings towards him, but it's stressful being around him. He won't let me in, and it's his own damn fault we're not together. I kissed him, not knowing he was with chris at the time. why didn't i know? he didn't tell me. then, i get yelled at by chris. so i back off. and a week later, without talking to JC, he decides he wants me? sorry. i move on quickly. i didn't want to break them up. if i had known they were together, i wouldn't have even bothered. so now he's miserable. it's his own damn fault. I'm happy now. I like where i am. So no, i'm not going to try to fix things between me and JC. you may call me a dick, fine. Don't give me guilt trips, telling me about how JC always feels like he's second best. waa waa waa. He's a whiney little fucker, and i don't want to deal with it. Dont like what i'm saying? take me off your fucking friends list. this is my journal, i'll say what i want.

moving on. Justin, i'll be around tonight around.......10:00pm eastern time. I love you.


-Wade

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could it be any harder? [02 Nov 2002|02:30pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | could it be any harder, the calling ]

i hate getting my hopes up just to get shot down. sure. we haven't talked yet, but i pretty much know the outcome. i'm so stupid. he loves her. i knew that. so why did i even... *shakes head* i'm worthless.

*grabs a bottle of whiskey, and goes to my dance studio*

if anybody needs me for some odd reason, you know where to find me.

-Wade

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So i cried. [01 Nov 2002|04:46pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | nothing ]

yeah that entry just made me feel like crap.

i need to talk to him.

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the morning after. [31 Oct 2002|01:49pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | the moffatts, over the rainbow ]

*yawns and rolls over slowly. eyes shoot wide open when i bump into something. turns around and looks at the person naked next to me. slowly smiles, and wraps my arms around him. whispers* it wasn't a dream....

*holds him close, and falls back to sleep*

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its just emotions taking me over [29 Oct 2002|09:42pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | nothing ]

it all started a few years ago. I had already worked with britney on her tours, and awards programs. and i worked with nsync at some mtv award shows. news came to me that i was to work with nsync on their upcoming tour; no strings attached. my reaction? i groaned. i dreaded it. why, you ask. because. Nsync... were cool, dont get me wrong, but... it was weird, working with them before that time. Lance and Joey were always friendly. Jc was.... a drama queen. Yeah, he was. and every other word that came out of his mouth was about himself (no offence, jace.) it annoyed me. Chris was always off in his own world. and justin... justin. *looks away with a smile on his face* he was.. polite. quiet, but polite. never spoke unless he was spoken to. it was ackward, because we were/are so close in age. but, i signed on to the tour, after britney twisted my arm. Me and justin always got stuck sharing adjoining rooms. you know what that meant? i had to be the one to wake him up each morning. yeah. that was fun. not. the first time i can remember... he threw his remote control at me. hit me on the forehead. hurt like a bitch. but after a month or two of this ritual, i finally smartened up and wore a hockey mask and a pillow. *laughs* but, we ended up hanging out together. went out. we were both kind of young to drink, so we'd go to arcades, pool halls, basketball courts.. everywhere normal teenaged guys go. and i was always hard on him, during rehearsal. he.. was one of the best dancers in the group. he nailed the moves after the second go at it. but i always made him put in 110%, 100 wasnt enough for me. he was the only one that would yell back at me, when i yelled at them. the only one that could tell me to fuck off. yet, he was the only one that would do what i told him to do, without complaining. he was justin. and i was falling for him, hard. time flew, and the tour was over. i went back to living my wade robson life, and was doing work with britney, still. she'd tell me her fantasys, they always made me blush. but i think thats why she did it. to see me blush. but, anyway, i'm wandering off the subject. Justin called me up one day, begging me to come over to help him with a song he was writing. did i refuse? psh jigga pleaze. of course not. i was more then happy to help my friend. we finished the song that night. and like.. i went over and collaborated with him everyday for 3 weeks straight. it was fun... just me and just. i.. developed feelings for him during that time. time flew. 2001 came. i was asked to be on the pop oddessy tour. my reaction? i was estatic. i accepted, happily. The tour was much like the other, except my feelings for justin were there. they grew into a little justin planet in my mind. we shared rooms this time, though. i'd spend nights watching him sleep. he was so angelic. it took everything for me not to go over to him and hold him and kiss him.. but i knew he was straight. i knew he was with britney. then, before the first phase of the tour was over, i kissed him. he wouldn't wake up one morning, and before i knew it, i kissed him. he woke up. i froze. he looked at me, and i ran. later that day, i resigned from working with britney and nsync. well. i did end up working with britney on her tour, but i was already signed to that beforehand. rehearsal that day was the worst. i ended up crying after it ended. i just.. lost it. that night i left. i haven't seen him since. he was the one who opened the door to my.. bisexuality. and now i'm messed up.

it's not justin's fault, its just how i became who i am. one confused hurt and scared boy. i'm glad he's happy with chrissy, really.


-wade

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i drive myself crazy thinking of you. [29 Oct 2002|12:48pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | nothing ]

Coming later today: The "how wade robson got so messed up" story.

Stay tuned.

and try not to be pissed at what i end up saying.

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Jigga please, cut the games. [29 Oct 2002|10:07am]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | nothing ]

Okay. First of all, I DID NOT KNOW JC WAS WITH CHRIS! if i had known, i wouldn't have kissed him. Justin should know that. I'm not that type of guy. never have been, never will be.

i took a few days off. drove around, saw a few cities. now i'm back. alone, as usual. I never thought it'd be this hard to find someone right for me. maybe my expectations are too high. maybe they're not high enough. either way, it's getting worse everyday, coming home to an empty house. at this rate, i may just be desperate enough to hook up with a woman. heh. no, i'm not that despirate.

*sighs* life sucks.

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she walked up to me slow, you know what happens now [24 Oct 2002|03:33pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | nothing ]

Ugh. Talk about a hangover from hell.

Yesterday, i hung out with janie, had some ice cream with her, and last night, me, and Jace went clubbing.
I ended up sleeping at his house.

and now, me and janie are going out tonight. that should be fun.

I'm out.

Wade

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blah. [22 Oct 2002|11:59am]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Jay-Z, i just wanna love ya ]

I finally got a screen name. Wade XXX Robson. Add me, hoes. Now all i need is to be added to the community, and i'll be set. heh.

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........... [21 Oct 2002|03:07am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | nothing ]

Hey.

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