Nature Wished's Blurty

Time:

4:37 pm.

I've been getting really random phone calls lately, so I don't know if someone is playing a joke on me or not, or if these people are just meaning to call someone else. I've gotten a few phone calls regarding some house to be rented somewhere in Bay View. I got another phone call from a guy in Racine for a booty call.

Ok, so 1) I don't give my number to people I don't know, 2) I NEVER give my number to people over the internet and 2) I have no desire to live or rent in Bay View.

Maybe I just have one of "those" numbers...

I leave for Disney January 26th and come back June 5th, just in time for MSOE's summer program. I'm really excited b/c I'll be leaving this city for awhile. My job description actually sounds like it would suck, but I want to do this for the experience and I'm not going to let my own negativity, let alone anyone else's, get to me.

Phil and Theresa & Duck may visit me out there. Woot! :D

And Thanksgiving is Thursday, which means I'm mandated to spend time w/ the family... Damn. I hate spending time w/ them. I don't like my direct family, and when I spend time w/ the Thanksgiving-side of the family, no one is within 10 years of my age, so I just sit in the corner and am awkwardly silent for a good 3-4 hours.

Well, I'm on my way to Best Buy to pick up a cheap DVD player... Dad gave me his player awhile ago (a first generation DVD player) and it fuckin' sucks ass. Also picking up Wall-E!! :D

My day's complete.

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Time:

10:08 am.

Maybe if I watch my spending this month, I can make a trip out to New York to see and hang out w/ Chan. I haven't seen him in a year. Last time I went out there, I went during Christmas and New Year's and had a blast. I can probably find really cheap tickets during that time. I'd have to doublecheck w/ him for dates though. He and his girlfriend are going to Vermont the last week in December to go skiing.

I was also invited out to DC w/ my band of crazy, old, liberal women (and Jess) from my Denver trip earlier in the year, however, I'll be leaving for Orlando sometime in January. Most likely, I'll be gone by the time Obama's inauguration happens.

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Mmm... Tuscan Herb bagel w/ Salmon cream cheese... Yum.

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Yea, so I don't think I'm going to see Jason Mraz tonight... It's sold out and Bryan hasn't mentioned anything about it... I'll text him to find out. I asked him a while back ago, so hopefully he didn't forget to ask.

Anyway, I'm outta here. It's my 1/2 day off and I'm totally taking advantage of it.

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Time:

9:49 pm.

So I will be formally accepting or declining my invitiation to Disney this upcoming Monday. I will decline only under the most extreme case scenario (ie. UWM won't give me credit and if I don't figure out my financial aid), but that doesn't sound too likely. The Disney represenative who works @ UWM (who is in charge of making sure students get credit for it) is having a meeting Monday. She sent us an e-mail and said she wants to have a meeting to discuss credit and go over the cons of Disney, and that the actual Disney Recruiter wouldn't go over cons anyway b/c it's his job to recruit, not de-recruit. So I'll be waiting Monday. Professor Dindia (Communications Advisor) says that there really isn't anything that will change my mind, but it's good to hear both sides before I finalize a decision.

When I accept, I'll know the final days as well. I'm gone from Janurary thru May. I'll probably leave Wisconsin a little early to see my aunt, uncle, and cousins down in Gainesville for a little bit. Maybe see UF's TKE Chapter and hang out w/ them for a little bit.

I'm excited.

Oh, and I got really high marks on my communication papers... There were a lot of people in class who said those papers were pretty hard, but dude. I wrote them a couple of hours before they were due and I thought they were a breeze. Now I just have to gather my thoughts for this 12-15 page paper. Communications is easy as fuck. I think I'm switching. I actually haven't felt this confident about any other decision since... I don't know when, but it's coming natural to me b/c it feels like common sense. It's taken me 3 and a 1/2 frickin' years... Thank Jezus.

:D

Of course, I'll miss a few people, but I'll be back in May.

Things are finally coming together...

New experiences.
New (temporary) home.
New friends and relationships.
(Potential) New college degree (and feels... Really good).

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Time:

9:43 am.

Just a quick blog before I hafta' go into work...

Last night was a decent time. The chapter had a brotherhood lock-in, however, later in the night it was kindof ruined. I had a huge headache for some reason to begin with, so I wasn't exactly in the most happiest of moods, but Dave gave me some execedrine and helped. Anyway, Bryan and Lake invited the KT's over b/c they weren't making money on the beer they had purchased.

Now, if you don't know what a brotherhood lock-in is, it's when we have all the chapter members (associate members are invited) stay at the TKE House for the night (locked-in) and just spend time and hang out w/ your brothers.

Anyway, I was a little irked off b/c they invited the KT's over (a local sorority). It's a "brotherhood lock-in", not a "Greek lock-in". It just kinda pissed me off b/c they didn't respect the rule and definition of what a brotherhood lock-in was. Bryan and Lake were caring more about banking in on their cash instead of caring about the actual brotherhood.

It pisses me off furthermore that I seem to be the only one who cares anymore. There are others who support and feel the same way - AJ, Luke, Detox... Basically everyone else wanted the girls over...

JFC. Stop thinking w/ your cocks and respect the rules. Women are not the reason why this Fraternity was founded in 1899. Somewhere along the line, the new members after me lost or didn't even learn to respect authority and senior members. If I don't get in w/ this whole Disney program, I want to be the Educator and re-teach its incoming members proper respect for members and rules, as well as local and international history, traditions, and the inner-working of the Fraternity.

Whatever. I'm over it.

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And WTF?! I can't believe some of the shit Ricky gets away w/ in this house. My parents bitched at me hardcore for drinking ONCE in this house, but they don't say anything to Ricky when he was booze in the house w/ 10 other people being loud as hell. His friends think this is a fuckin' hotel. I can't put up w/ this shit anymore. When I mention it to mom, all she says is just, "Oh, you mind your own business."

I'm sick of the unfair treatment and the lack of support in anything I do or feel. Why does he get special treatment because he's seen as the dumbfuck/loser of the family!? Mom and dad seriously don't understand why I dislike this family so much... Just b/c I don't fit their first-son cookie cutter model doesn't mean they can just shove me on the side and ignore me. And when I try to talk to them about it or even hint at it, they change the subject or just ignore it.

If I ever have kids, I'm going to raise them right.

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I guess this post wasn't exactly quick, so I'mma go get ready for work. Mini-Courses til 5:30PM, then I'unno what else... Probably staying in b/c I have to babysit.

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Time:

10:42 pm.

Woohoo! No more virus. I did a system restore and it cleared it out. Saved all my music and important documents :D

Bills suck ass... Money's not coming in fast enough. Goddamnit.

I want my Zune back... :(

And I've rediscovered Better Than Ezra today... Damn. I forgot how amazing they are. I <3 Limewire.

Gas is down to almost $2.00 a gallon... Sweet Lord YES. That means I can drive aimlessly around Milwaukee again. Who's in?

Gobble for Groceries started today (officially). I was in the turkey costume for a good 2 hours I think. PantherVision stopped by and interviewed a few of us, however, I thought the reporter needed to consider switching majors, but who am I to talk? Channel 12 WISN is supposed to be stopping by too, but they haven't called me back yet. We're raising food for the Hunger Task Force of Greater Milwaukee and so far, we have a full big box of food and $60 in donations.

Other than that, I'm still waiting on something from Disney. I'm really hopeful that I got something with them, I just a confirmation. Tomorrow, it'll be two weeks since the phone interview. They said I would know in 3-4 weeks... I need this.

Someone the other day asked me why I'm doing this whole Disney thing and what he was saying was irking me quite a bit, but I don't care. I want a new experience and a break from Milwaukee. If I don't like working for Disney, I'll suck it up and finish my time, but while I'm there, I'm going to make the best of it and meet new people.

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There are some people who I wish I could revisit. I want to know what some of my old teachers are doing right now. I miss Winterfeldt and Riggs, who are probably the best teachers I've had in my day. Maybe go back and see where some of my old friends are... I've actually been trying to find out about ownership history of the house next to me and find out possibly where my old best friend moved to; maybe find him on Facebook and just catch up, see what he's up to, etc.

And then I wonder if I ever met my (forgive me for being cliche') "Soul Mate"... Sometimes I wish my life was already written out b/c that would make decision-making that much easier. I'd be able to avoid the hassle of making a decision in the first place. I know life doesn't play out that way, but still...

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I wonder if this new one will stick around or if he'll be another single-serving friend...

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In the famous (not so really) words of Jack Johnson, I'm just sitting, waiting, wishing.

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Time:

5:07 pm.

So some stupid fucker snatched my Zune today... I was riding the bus down to UWM for work. I got on and found a seat, the one right in front of the rear door and the right hand side (my favorite seat). Not even a MINUTE later at the next stop, some guy comes up behind me, SNATCHES my Zune while I'm switching a song, and by the time I realize what's going on, he jumps off the bus out the door behind me and runs off. I tried to run after him, but he's halfway down the block and one of my sandals is off b/c I barely had time to react. Plus, I wasn't going to run w/ my stuff on the bus and have the bus driver wait there for me to come back from an unsuccessful attempt at getting back my Zune. I admit defeat, sit back down, and continue riding the bus til I get to work.

Honestly, that right there (no offense) is the reason why black people get a bad reputation. I'm not saying that I would've felt any different if it was an Asian, or a white guy, or whatever else. Young, black men who make stupid decisions ruin it for the other ones. This is why stereotypes are created. A few black kids ruin the whole image for their race. It's a fuckin' shame. And especially with Obama winning, it just doesn't phase anything. If anything, these young kids should be inspired but what he's done and try to change things in their life to become a success.

Maybe I'm just throwing a tangent out there...

I reported it to MCTS and the county sheriff, however, I'm giving up on it. MCTS pulled up a picture from surveillance, but the sheriff hasn't even called me back yet. Whatever. My attempts are useless and it's nothing they're going to care about.

Still, fuckin' bitch. This incident wasn't exactly the icing on the cake for me... :(

I was thinking about getting a new Zune or having enough openness to get an iPod, however, the 20/+ GB kind are out of my price range... The iTouch looked really appealing, however, I'm not spending $400 on their best one. Fuck that shit. Oh well... I'll have to get one before (if) I leave for Disney.

P.S. - Once I find out about Disney, I'm sending out 1 bigass email.

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And Obama won the election. Thank god. If McCain and Palin were going to get in the White House, I don't know what I would've done (probably nothing b/c there's nothing I can do).

I texted my uncle in Florida and told him that Obama was going to win the state. He texted me back, saying, "Yep. The Anti-Christ will take Florida" and that "We'll be kneeling our heads with mats on the floor praising Allah." The comment pissed me off b/c I've heard this from several people. He's my favorite uncle and all, but JFC. Get the conservative out of your ass and open your mind. Obama is NOT the Anti-Christ. It's been said that he fits the characteristics, but JFC. Anyone would fit those qualities depending on how you interpret them.

Regardless, we all helped America make history by electing the first black president. The world is cheering for Obama. This is going to be a great time for history.

I honestly thought that it wasn't going to happen b/c I assumed that America was still ignorant to the point of being racist, but it didn't prove true at all. The American people have started caring about issues and not about the Dressed-Up Man w/ Good Looks.

Regardless, things are going to change for the better. Obama, along with the American people, are going to see to that.

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Time:

12:48 am.

Disclaimer - I'm drunk. So the ~~hell~~ fuck what.

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Don't say you knew me and I didn't know anything about you. Please. It's the other fuckin' way around. Think about why I did it. Maybe you'll see then if you pull your head from your ass every once inawhile. When was the last time you invited me anywhere, other than meeting up in a bar scene? I've seriously done so much shit for you and you honestly don't care. So many people (minimum 5 or more) have told me how selfish, inconsiderate, egotistical, rude, and self-centered you are, but I refused to believe it... Now? I've seen that for awhile.

I wasn't ignoring you. You ignored me, whether you were doing it knowingly or subconsciously. Don't fuckin' blame this on me. Be a fuckin' adult about this situation. Talk to me in person the next time you want the facts and stop assuming.

Besides, I'm giving you want you wanted in the first place... You said it yourself, remember?

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I'm sick of this goddamn city. The city, school, people, and this family. Disney, let me know soon.

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Time:

11:40 pm.

Don't get mad at me, you stupid bitch. JFC, dad tells you every night to park the damn car. Don't sit there and call me names and tell me how worthless I am b/c I won't do it for you. As soon as I step into the house, you're annoying me w/ things you should've done. Stupid bitch, I swear to God...

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Anyway, phone interview went well w/ Disney. I really want the job, but I gotta wait 4-6 weeks before I get the final word. I think I answered the questions thoroughly. I should've taken the chance to leave Milwaukee when I did back at high school graduation instead of staying here for reasons I shouldn't have even considered in a million years... What the hell was I thinking...??

Excited for Jason Mraz November 21st @ the Rave... :D

Snow's on its way soon... Fuck.

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Time:

6:53 pm.

Last night was amazingly fun. Got a new pumpkin and eventually, I'll make salted pumpkin seeds and carve a Jack-O-Lantern (haven't done that in ages). Hung out w/ Thereese, Jess, and her new boy Casey, who seems pretty cool. He definitely showed that by actually partaking in last night's events. I'm glad she's happy w/ him though. She deserves it.

This week's been hella-busy. I thought it would cool off a little bit now since work's been slowing down too, but I was given a little brother Sunday night, so I've been thinking of ideas and writing some sort of a curriculum for him so he's on top of his game during the pledging process. He's alright enough. Like every pledge, they don't know everything off that bat, but I want him to be top this time around.

I wanna move out of Milwaukee soon... There's nothing here for me anymore. I don't care about college anymore. I just want to travel around and gain real world experience and world knowledge. Live out of a backpack for awhile, but I know I would hate that, though I would adjust if I force myself to it. Unfortunately, I'm not well-established yet... Some day. Some day.

There's this information session on campus soon about working for Disney. Haering did and he absolutely loved it. I think I would too if I lived out on my own, expenses paid for n' such. I'm going to the session, just to hear it out. No harm in that. I need a vacation away from Milwaukee, other than the week-long NYC trips to see da' Chan.

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Mmm... Tasty. Pizza Rolls :)

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Time:

10:27 pm.

So I've been busy as hell lately... Working a shitload of hours, but hey. Money's rolling in for all these damn bills I have.

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I've rediscovered the Beatles. I was never really into them before, but I'm appreciating them more now.

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And I've been going thru some personal issues as well. Not many people read this (1 that I can only think of), so I'll talk about it anyway. Besides, this is my blog and its purpose is to record personal events, thoughts, and opinions. If someone doesn't like it, well... Stop reading.

I've really felt like I lost a friend recently. A good friend that I've had for awhile (someone I called a best friend), but honestly... Idk. It's difficult to explain. I feel like I was the only one doing the work in the friendship... I must explain first though, I didn't have an intimate relationship w/ him. Still, I always invited him to places, had random dinner and movie nights, drove around w/ no particular place to go, concert trips, remembered his birthday every year, hit up bars w/ him when I felt like I was ready to pass out, sent random text messages (sometimes just to say "Hi"), and other small things; things that friends do for each other.

And then one day, after realizing all this... I stopped. Just for a trial period. To see what would happen.. And then nothing. Nothing happened. I waited... No phone calls. No texts. AIM messages kept to a bare minimum. Then absolute silence. I see him online sometimes, but I don't make the first move. I remember back in high school, we always met up once a week online just to chat for several hours. Sortof became tradition back then. I kindof miss that. And now...? There are no words exchanged...

I don't know what happened. Maybe it's just some bad miscommunication. Sometimes I miss it, but my really close friends knew how ~~much~~ strong of feelings I had for him. And it really hurt. Maybe having this break between us is for the better. I don't know what his side of the story is, but...

I consider myself a ~~good~~ great friend. I listen. I pay attention. I offer advice when needed. I'm the guy that would go that extra mile. I guess some people just don't see or appreciate that sometimes...

I saw him the other night too. I know he saw me too. We were both passengers next to each other in cars on McKinley. I remember seeing that blue box car of his roommate's right next to me and my stomach sinking to my feet. Made eye contact... And nothing. It's like we never knew each other before that moment. Light turned green and that was it.

And maybe deepdown, intrinsically I'm being stupid, naive, ignorant, or selfish, but... I feel this is what needs to be done. Trust me, I've toiled over this in my sleep, but I'm sticking w/ this. Regardless, things will be different.

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This will be the last time I talk about this.

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And I'm leaving it to that. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I've got better things to do than to dwell on something I can't control. I'm going to do some reading and then some pre-writing for a paper next week.

Much love folks.
-eDWiN

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