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Anger Management

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[hearts will break@ 11:45am on 8.21.04 ]
I no longer live with my parents, i like the independence. I'm currently visiting them, however... mainly because i have family visiting that i haven't seen for 5 years. I haven't decided whether or not i like living with Jonny, the first day i thought it would be so amazing, later gradually getting disappointed. I have been drinking alcohol for days, but not enough to get me wasted... well, since i've been home of course. I had the most amazing "home made" magerita yesterday, my aunt made me a pitcher (all to myself hahaha). My parents found out about my tongue piercing, and surprisingly they didn't freak out like i had expected them to.

Today i see the family again, dinner at my grandpa's and then who knows what? I did a little shopping, my grandma gave me a $300 cheque to spend one whatever i want, so i got a few much needed things and a couple neat baby toys for my cousins adorable 8 month old son, Zakk.

Trevor and i broke up... it was a sad ending, but i knew it was coming sort of. He confessed to cheating on me a few times, and lie to me often. How could i not have seen this? i should have stuck with my suspicions... i had confronted him about a month or 2 ago, and asked if he was cheating on me, and he said with much confidence that no he wasn't, and i have nothing to worry about... I FUCKING BELIEVED HIM! of course, he said it with sincerity, so i couldn't be mad at him or anything. The break up was last Friday, i had just got home from grocery shopping with Sharai and i received a phone call from him. I had missed him so much, but then he had some concern in his voice and told me i should go somewhere private so he could talk to me. I went to my bedroom, and suddenly there was silence on the other end. I could hear him crying, and i knew right then something was wrong. This is when he confessed everything to me, and of course i started bawling as well. I haven't talked to him since then, not even since i came back here on Tuesday. Maybe this is for the best, right? i don't need a guy that does that, i'm sorry but i can't handle it anymore.
1 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

Errrrm... [hearts will break@ 2:08pm on 7.20.04 ]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Venus-- Air ]

Grrr i can't manage 2 journals at once, it seems pretty pointless considering i'm almost repeating myself... so, i think as of this entry i am going to lay my blurty account to rest. Besides, i've been using Livejournal more than Blurty since i created the account back in February, so if you want to read my "life story" the link is:
and i have moved my community over there as well:

ps. i'm not actually going to lay this journal to rest, i'll leave an update every so often

this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 10:49pm on 7.11.04 ]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | anti-flag ]

my eyes burn... ow ow ow. i must be tired, exhausted or something. long day i guess, hungover from yesterday but that has passed me now. this entry is pointless. i'm going to get some shut eye<3

3 more weeks!

my shitty flyer... i hate how the text went blurry, stupid fucking computer.

this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 2:00pm on 7.9.04 ]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | lover tits-- peaches ]

This seemed like such a long week, though my days went by relatively fast. Trevor and i are improving our relationship, since we'd been fighting often for the last week and a half... he broke down craying last night and told me he didn't want to lose me, and assured him that going away to college did not mean the end of our relationship, or that i would cheat on him. I'm glad things are beginning to work out again.

I am in desperate need of a hair cut... it's just blah, but i never find the time to make an appointment, and now i feel lost because my hairstylist (hairstylist sounds more professional, or nicer, than "hairdresser") went on maternity leave like a month ago or something... so, i'm looking in the phone book right now search for reputable hair salon somewhere downtown, of course i'm not willing to pay $50 to get my hair washed, cut, and styled. Paying $32 plus $5 tip is enough money when i go to Les Ciseaux (my favourite place, i'm a regular there haha, after 3 years of being a "dedicated" customer, maybe it's time to move on?). I seem to like the hair style however i've been getting it cut the same for the last year, but i like it... time for a change? i dunno, i don't take a lot of change too well lol. Now that i think of it... i think i'm going to stick with Les Ciseaux, i'll get Anita's bestfriend to cut my hair, Erica is awesome i love her<3 hehe.

I went to Ben Thanh for lunch today with Jonny... their pad thai is seriously heaven on a plate. I saw Lindz yesterday, hung out with her at Sun Fest for a couple hours as we walked around looking at ethnic jewelry and such, and listening to the lovely, but overpowering, sound of ragae. We each got an elephant ear at one of the vendors stations in the food part, my god i haven't had one of those in ages! soooo good, for those of you who don't know what an elephant ear is, it's a flat thing of dough that is deep fried and then has melted butter on it and you can put whatever topping you like on it... i prefer the simple sugar and cinnamon.

4 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 6:59pm on 7.4.04 ]
anyone have a livejournal?

add me to your friends list, it's electro_pinkxx<3 thnx loves.
this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 3:06pm on 7.4.04 ]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | circle takes the square ]

I was supposed to go camping with Trevor, Jake and Candice tonight... but there's severe thunderstorm warnings, as if this is going to be my summer! i refuuuuuuuuuuuuse to let this happy ugh. One minute it's cloudy, and windy, then it's bright and sunny, wtf is going on!? there better not be a tornado.

4 more weeks!

Tomorrow Jonny and i start that restaurant training thing, it begins at 9am and finishes at like 3:30pm... and this training session is 2weeks long! minus weekends of course. Well, it's not like we have anything better to do, and plus this is our chance to get experience with serving and such... after the training is over, he and i are going to go for our "smart serve" which costs $50 for a 1 day training session but you'll then be qualified to serve alcohol and work behind a bar. Soooo that's pretty cool.

4 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 7:50pm on 7.2.04 ]
So, i'm taking care of my neighbours cat while she's away on vacation visiting her parents/relatives in Paris, France... how fucking nice must that be? like seriously. Anyway, her cat is adorable, and for the 20 days that she'll be gone i get paid $60. I'm pretty happy about that. Everything seems to be falling into place... well, mostly. I still have more packing to do, it would probably help if i cleaned my bedroom... and, under my bed (oh no! that could take forever!!).

Saw Damien and Trevor today, went for coffee and a stroll in the park. We didn't really do anything exciting. Trevor is staying the night tonight... so that'll be fun at least, i guess we'll rent some movies or something. Anyway, i'm gonna get going... i have to go to Kinko's to fax my high school transcript to Sheridan so i can show them proof that i've graduated high school.
2 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

grrr [hearts will break@ 9:33pm on 6.29.04 ]
and the voices will guide us )
2 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

... [hearts will break@ 9:38pm on 6.25.04 ]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | converge ]

congrats, you're converge. probably the craziest
band around today. who knows how many bands
you've inspired? you have an enormous fanbase,
in spite of the fact that nobody can understand
a single goddamn word you say.

which of my favorite hardcore bands are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Funeral For A Friend
Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured're just like me...

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

my little pony
You're My Little Pony!! Sweet and innocent and
happy, you make people want to spew burrito
chunks. Even a Care Bear could kick your ass.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i seriously have nothing better to do )

2 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 2:20pm on 6.25.04 ]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | tbs ]

yay! it's friday, not that it should matter because i'm not in school lol. i'm going to see fahrenheit 9/11 with Trevor tonight, which i must say i'm looking forward to because i quite enjoy all of Michael Moore's documentary films.

oh man i need a smoke so badly, this sucks! Trevor is trying to get me to quit, it would be nice but i've tried several times and it just doesn't work as easy as you would think. i find it somewhat *difficult* dating someone who is straight edge, but i love him very much and respect him just as much too.

is it me, or is August 1st coming quicker than i should think? if this is the case i am so not prepared to move, i did a little bit of packing yesterday afternoon, gathering a the little things from my bedroom that i'm not using at the moment and that i know i could use at the apartment (ie. books, dictionaries, framed pictures, loose pictures, photo albums etc.). maybe i should continue with that... it's exciting and depressing at the same time, i've lived here my whole life and i'm used to my surroundings... also, Trevor is staying here and i'm moving an hour and a half away, i hope our relationship stays just as strong, i really don't know what i would do without him.

I kissed you in a style Clark Gable would have admired (i thought it class)

4 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 7:39pm on 6.24.04 ]
this is how we do it )
6 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

lalala [hearts will break@ 1:16pm on 6.24.04 ]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | pedro the lion ]

Grrr ok, so Trevor and i didn't end up going to Michigan for shopping... there was a huge fucking lineup at the border so we decided to shop around Windsor and Sarnia. Yesterday afternoon was so gorgeous, as well as today. Once Trevor and i got back to London we went shopping downtown, I bought a couple cute things from Commander Salamander and a skirt from Frilly Lizard. Then, we went to Lolita where i spent a ridiculous $120 on a pair of hot pink Steve Madden pumps... but they are pretty sexy.

Maybe (hopefully) i'll get some packing done today... or at least begin cleaning my bedroom, which is a disaster. I have mentioned this many many times before, i procrastinate too often!! eck.

6 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 8:54pm on 6.22.04 ]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | my chemical romance ]

So... tomorrow Trevor and I are going to Michigan for shopping. I like shopping in the U.S simply because they have stores that we in Canada don't have. Sometimes i like going to Hot Topic while i'm there... i admit they do have some pretty nice stuff there, but a lot of kids think it's for poseurs... whatever :P.

*yawns* i'm so exhausted today, i went to bed at a decent time and woke up at about 10:15am today. I barely did anything, i was on the computer often and promoting my ass of for my community and chatting on aim. Jonny and i were supposed to go for coffee, but he didn't call me until dinner time and by then he said he had no money... but oh well, that's life, i'll make my own coffee.

Saturday i have to attend a burrial for my step grandmother. She passed away the beginning of May from lung cancer, and she was cremated (sp?). My grandpa has decided that it's time she was laid to rest... so it seems like i'm going to another funeral. There's another reception afterwards at my grandpa's place, lots and lots of people will be there, again.

Anyway, i'm going to go now so i can visit with Trevor for a bit before we come back here and he stays the night so we can leave at a good time in the morning.

For what you did to me, and what I'll do to you, you get, what everyone else gets, you get a lifetime!

this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 10:58pm on 6.21.04 ]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Every Time I Die ]

Tonight was amazing fun. I went out with Trevor and some of our friends to Lazer Quest where we played lazer tag... that was some serious fun, i didn't want the night to end. Afterwards, Trevor and i said our goodbye's to Thomas, Becky, Jenn, Dylan, Jae, and Shaun and parted. We were parked a little ways away from Lazer Quest, and we had to run thru a downpour... but instead of going straight to the parking lot where my car was parked, we decided to stroll through the park where at this point the rain was basically a mist. It was soooo romantic, we held hands and skipped and blah blah blah... and stood still as the rain came pouring down on us and kissed. I love Trevor so much, every time he's in my presence my heart skips a beat, i can almost tell he's the one. He's pretty well the one thing in my life that makes me this happy... he brings joy and happiness, you have no idea how much i love him, it cannot be put into words. He's gorgeous, i am in amoured with his good looks... i love his typical scene *boy* hair especially the way his bangs swoosh to the side and kind of in his eyes (haha if he was any interested in joining a rating community i would totally get him to apply to thexscene), i love his blue eyes, i love his pouty lips, i love his scent... but, most of all i love him. OH MY! do i ever sound mushy!. But, y'all get how i feel about this boy, i am crazy for him... not literally crazy, but you know what i mean, or so i think? teehee

this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 12:27pm on 6.21.04 ]
Last night was fun. I went to went to Trevor's bands show last night, and as always they rocked. There's nothing like good hxc fun in a small "night" club. After the gig, my love (Trevor) and i went for milkshakes... his was a soy "vegan" shake, of course since he's a vegan <3. Then... i drove him back to his apartment, and then came back home. It was a better night than Friday or Saturday i guess. Today is mine and Trevor's 5 month anniversary thingy, YAY!!

Anyway, i have yet to get dressed etc. and that is what i must do now.

Happy 5 months Trevor! I love you xoxo
2 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

yet again, i am promoting 3 fabulous communities [hearts will break@ 2:30pm on 6.20.04 ]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | jets to brazil ]

muahaha, spread the love people, new applicants for thexscene are always welcome! pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease

ALSO i am here to promote sass_and_style
scenexsuperstar, a community created by one of our lovely mods at thexscene


3 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

awoijsdckawr92u834rlkajfjm,mansc [hearts will break@ 3:00pm on 6.19.04 ]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | underoath- letting go of tonight ]

blah blah blah... ok, so this is *important*. thexscene needs more applicants, and i am the mod/maintainer and we just need more people. beware, this is a rating community, and as it says in the disclaimer if you CANNOT handle rejection don't bother applying. so, read the profile and do as it says, if ya don't meet the requirements, you shouldn't bother applying. kthnxbye

this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 8:32pm on 6.11.04 ]
Jonny and i got an apartment in oakville! we don't move in until August 1st however, but i'm sooo excited!!!

So school is almost out, i can't wait... it seems like forever until it's gonna end, but whatever. I'm cramping badly right now and i hurt.

blah, it's a friday night and i'm BORED! that's not new though, every friday is like this for me... mainly because i'm not 19 yet and most of my friends are and they go out to bars and blah blah blah. Oh well, this is my life.

This entry was pointless, and i'm going to go. ttfn
4 bang bang| this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 1:03pm on 5.25.04 ]
[ mood | moody ]
[ music | Poison the Well ]

Ugh, today is seriously pathetic. Actually, lately it's been pathetic. The weather is shitty, it doesn't feel the least bit like spring. WTF?!!?.

Everything is depressing, my friends think i'm suicidal, which i'm not... fuck. Mike, my ex (remember i used to talk about him a while back), and i have been fooling around with each other for like the last 2 months almost... and it seems constant. I always seem to keep my hopes up, and then everything sucks all of a sudden. I know Mike and i aren't together anymore, but each time that we fool around i feel as good as i did when we had eachother in a relationship... but then yesterday, he just HAD to mention to me that he'd gotten laid the night before at a party. I was like ugh, how pathetic is that? he's fucking 19 years old and has to brag about stupid things like that. Such a pig, i swear. I kept thinking to myself "he's cut off, not getting anything from me ever again" and i'm going to stick to that. To think that i've been sleeping with him when he's most likely (i'm over exaggerating a bit) slept with every girl is this fucking city... dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrty.

this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

[hearts will break@ 12:00pm on 5.22.04 ]
[ mood | bored ]

dc sleeps alone tonight )

this is a .44 calibre love letter straight from my heart

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