*Riley's journal

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Thursday, December 25th, 2003
9:45 pm - I can't focus anymore...
Aquarian traits...

  • Friendly
  • Honest
  • Loyal
  • Original
  • Inventive
  • Independent
  • Intellectual


  • Contrary
  • Perverse
  • Unpredictable
  • Unemotional
  • Detached

current mood: distressed
current music: Inside out by Von Ray

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Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
1:00 am - Bath time! With BUBBLES!
My feet ache. My belly is getting bigger. I still have a cough. And I have to wake up tomorrow morning and do it all over again! Night.

current mood: drained
current music: Tick-tock...

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Monday, December 22nd, 2003
4:46 pm - I think I'll stage my funeral...
Not much has been shakin' here. Work, work, work. The methodical cycle of waking up and driving to work is becoming tasking, but soon...Christmas will be over...New Year's will be over...and I will be back to school! Thank the Lord for that.

With school brings more stress, probably, but alas, something exciting is what I need. But, I'm off for now...have to drive to work to cover a shift. It's been real.

current mood: cold
current music: More silence

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Saturday, December 20th, 2003
10:49 pm - Left alone in my silence to think...
It is finally over. And I'm okay with it.

The alarming sense of calm has washed over me...I'm filled. I was loved for a small time and now I'm onto bigger and better things...if I can find them.

But where does this leave me spiritually? I feel like I belong in a place where I can be directed, where I can find stability in my life.

I need to be called.

Rescue me.

current mood: calm
current music: Deadening silence

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Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
6:46 am - The righteous and the wicked
It's been awhile. I have missed it too. I didn't get to attend the Christmas party! I had to work at Value City. I've been working there for days in a row...I finally got a day off yesterday, but I was sick the whole day...and this morning, I still am! :( I guess everyone missed me at the party...but I'm pissed off that I didn't get to go, show off, and be an absolute bitch.

The situation with my friend has only become worse. I said something to his guardian. And he doesn't really believe me. He thinks I might be misreading my feelings...so who knows. I don't know anything anymore, I guess. But if I can't trust my judgment, then what can I trust? Lord knows I can't trust my friends.

And I'm already in the process of making odd comments (something I definitely shouldn't do) and testing the waters to see if he's becoming attached as well. He told me last night that I was his one and only true love. Hmm...and when he hung up the phone, he told me he loved me. I'm sure it's no time before he approaches me about it because his guardian will say something even though I begged him not to.

I also found out that he's bi-sexual. You can claim it without experimenting, but he definitely has. He told me this last night and I was completely shocked...not really appalled, but shocked and kind of hurt. Then he had the audacity to ask me if I had been with anyone else since I had been with him. Of course I have. Well shit, who knows now.

current mood: sick
current music: I could have lied by Red Hot Chili Peppers

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Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
9:46 pm - Why do I keep falling?
Whew. I'd tell you about my first day at Value City (yes, I got hired), but there are more imperative situations on my mind!

I'm starting to fall for a friend. A friend is all he'll stay for a long time because of the situation before us. He's much younger than I am. I won't use ages, but he's about four years younger. We've "been together" (in an intimate way) and before it was just an arranged situation, no feelings, no emotions, no involvement.

But the more I'm with him, the more I start to care about him. I'm scared to death to say anything to him or his guardian. I've always been the one to argue for "emotionless" sex. He's always assured me that he wasn't getting attached (like I thought he would) and I actually believe him, but now I'm breaking my rules that I made and I'm starting to get attached. I know that only a few more times and I'd want a relationship, but I don't want to stop everything all together, ya know. I don't want to lose it and I don't want to make him feel bad.

The last time we were together, I wanted to cuddle...and we did for awhile, but he kept trying to be sexual...and after he reached orgasm, I wanted to lay on the bed together, but he rushed, put his clothes on, and went downstairs.

Now, I know if I said something, we could make something of this situation, but once I do say something, the situation will get larger than life, possibly in a bad way, then I'll lose interest or realize that something between us could never work and possibly ruin two good friendships.

So, I've got to get in bed. I have to be at work tomorrow at 8 A.M.... this job will be the death of me. =o) Ah well.

current mood: pensive
current music: Let it out by Hoobastank

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Sunday, December 7th, 2003
11:24 pm - I've got you under my skin...
People really do get under my skin sometimes, but that doesn't mean I don't love them any less! If anything, I love them even more...because with time away, I can really see that they are among the people I love the most!

So I haven't written all weekend...not much to say, I suppose. I went to Value City for a job...ha ha...me around cool clothes at closeout prices? What a wreck I'll be...but a famously good-looking wreck, right? Anywho, they seemed impressed and I go for an interview tomorrow at 10 A.M. and I'm REALLY nervous...I am just crossing my fingers and pray that I get this job! I really need it...the bills are coming in!

I talked to Lauren on the phone tonight. It was so great to be loud, to be appreciated, and to gossip. When I talk to her on the phone, I realize why she's one of my best friends. I am happy and sad all at once...extremely happy to talk to her, but sad & anxious to get back to school, so we'll be in the groove of things again!

I'm tired...and I need to get to bed so I can perform tomorrow.

current mood: content
current music: Under the bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers

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Friday, December 5th, 2003
11:00 pm - I always forget the icing on the cake! =oÞ
I absolutely hate painting my nails! When I'm rich and famous, I'm going to have manicures every two days. I'll align my wardrobe to match the "color of the (2) day(s)." Anywho, the only manicure I've been remotely successful at is the French manicure and I've botched it somehow too...plus, I'm not good enough to do it without stickers. I'm addicted to the guides for a straight, beautiful, natural manicure.

My other two new addictions are: "Love Profusion" by Madonna & "Addicted" (how profound) by Enrique Igelsias. Yay! I'm downloading as we speak...it only takes a few hours! Hell, I did my manicure and they're still going at it 1.31 kb/sec. Ha!

I am on the job hunt tomorrow. I think I took my job as cashier/office attendant/label maker a little too seriously. The other welfares are taking over the system, so alas, they've given me the straw that broke the camel's (Riley*'s back). I was told that I'll only have about six days to work there, so I was pissed the F-off. I don't believe I'll attend the office Christmas party on December 12; frankly, it's a waste of my time. I have nothing else to do with my time, but seriously folks, the Christmas party at the Moose? IS DEFINITELY where I WON'T be...and if I decide to go, I'll be such a bitch: a bitch on wheels to be exact.

There are three reasons I would go to the party:

  • Meghan

  • Chrissy

  • Rhyan

...in that order. First of all, Meghan is the best. Second of all, I want Chrissy...but that is a "flash in the pan" if that expression even applies to this situation...and Rhyan? Well, he needs to know what a pot smoker I am right now...and how good I look...and that I'll be 21 soon enough. ;o) But his damn girlfriend. Wish I could get rid of her. :o\ How bad is that?

The numerous reasons I wouldn't go to said party:

  • The fact that I was SCREWED OVER

  • Amy

  • Dare I say it, LYNN

  • Morgan

  • Leesa: Rhyan's girlfriend, riiiight

  • Jessica...mmm, one word springs to mind: BITCH

  • Mary, of course

  • The resurrection of any feelings toward Art or Jason (Lord restrain me.)

...so ends the bitch list! But the more I think about it, the more I want to go. Everyone needs to know about the new me. LoL. Which isn't really that much different...but the tongue ring makes a great added accessory! I THINK!

Okay...the Bitch, INC. is calling me. LoL. Finally, I need a rest from bitching. Maybe a glass of milk and some chocolate. I'll definitely be rising early tomorrow to go to the gym to make up for my sinful two days. Pasta, roast beef, etc.

And finally, peace!

"Love Profusion" by Madonna as featured on the Estee Lauder--Beyond Paradise parfume commercial!


current mood: artistic
current music: Truth doesn't make a noise by The White Stripes

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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
9:33 pm - I can do it...all night long!
Ah, well. Life is grand. Or so it seems. I thought I was getting sick, so I took some cold medicine and so far, it's helping. When I go to party with M. Elizabeth tomorrow though, my immune system will go down and I'll probably get a deathly sinus infection...but it's a small price to pay to get away and have some fun for a night. I've been bored outta my mind (partly my fault) since I left college, but I'll be back soon enough with some harsher rules for study time. I definitely would like to do a little better next quarter. Maybe all A's. Sounds like the sights are a little high, but I CAN DO IT! but your back into it... Later!! :)

current mood: worried
current music: The furnace

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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
12:45 pm - This is for my girls...
i am not:fat, but I feel like it.
i hurt:myself today...to see if I still feel.
i love:my Dad.
i hate:it when Joshua doesn't call.
i fear:that I will be alone forever.
i hope:that I will be remembered when I die.
i hear:the advice of my parents in my head, but I choose to ignore it.
i crave:chocolate all the time.
i regret:nothing; it's done. "Don't cry over spilt milk."
i cry:when I'm alone because people don't need to see into my soul.
i care:about my friends, but they don't always care back.
i always:try to help in any way I can.
i long to:be happily married someday. (Shh! Don't tell.)
i feel alone:at night. Or most of the time.
i listen:to music and most of it saddens me.
i hide:my true feelings, but they always peek through...I'm crystal clear.
i drive:a silver Pontiac Vibe
i sing:the words to songs I know.
i dance:when no one is watching
i write:my true feelings in THIS journal.
i breathe:in the smell of man.
i play:by the river.
i miss:having arms around me.
i search:for my soul mate, but come up with no discoveries.
i learn:that decisions get harder for me to make everyday.
i feel:that no one truly understands me.
i know:that people want to try.
i say:what I feel.
i succeed:when I can.
i fail:almost everyday.
i dream:of my prince charming.
i sleep:to dream.
i wonder:when he will come for me.
i want:to be in love...again.
i worry:that I'm not pretty enough.
i have:other worries than that.
i give:you take.
i fight:for my right...to party. =o)
i wait:and wait and wait.
i need:a rest.
i am:Riley*
i think:I'll stop.
i can't help the fact that:I'm in love with my best friend.
i stay:away and hope the feelings subside.

Complete This Sentence brought to you by BZOINK!

current mood: blah
current music: Can't hold us down by Christina Aguilera feat. Lil Kim

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Monday, December 1st, 2003
11:50 am - ***SIGH***
"Bad times, hard times, this is what people keep saying; but let us live well, and times shall be good. We are the times: Such as we are, such are the times."
-Saint Augustine

current mood: cranky
current music: Clock ticking, clothes washing

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Sunday, November 30th, 2003
10:31 pm - That's life...
Life just gets more depressing by the day. I've still got a fervor for exercise which is good because I ate, ate, ate before Thanksgiving, during Thanksgiving, and after Thanksgiving.

But tomorrow, I'm back on the diet, seriously, this time. The gym opens back up tomorrow (thank gawd, my savior), but I'll still have the treadmill at night too.

My room is still a mess, but I'm going to slowly go through things because I'm going to get rid of some stuff. I have too much junk. LoL. Anyway, I don't have much to say today, except that I want someone to hold me. I miss having a boyfriend. Ah well, that's life.

current mood: okay
current music: Here without you by Three Doors Down

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Saturday, November 29th, 2003
11:28 pm - Life's not about the breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away...
Weddings really depress me. I had a terrible time today at the wedding. I hated the fact that everyone was so happy. Josh & Suzanna are crazy in love. I can see it when they look into each other's eyes and I wish that someone would look at me the same way. I feel a depressing entry coming on, so I'm just going to go upstairs, burn some incense and chill. I've been a bummer for too long today. More on my bi-polar status tomorrow. Happy Holidays.

current mood: depressed
current music: The sound of being alone

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Friday, November 28th, 2003
1:13 pm - Dedicated to Dave...(just like all the others)
Why should you come when I call?
by Counting Crows
It's 1:30 in the morning
But that's alright by me
Weren't you just waiting by the phone
I should give a little warning
But I need the things I need
I'm not proud to need a hand
But I just don't understand
So, why should you come when I call?
I never say nothing at all
Why do I go, when I go?
It's leaving me here all alone
You ought to get out on your own
Ain't necessarily a bad thing
To believe the things I say
Cause you can make yourself feel good
You know it's really not a good thing
To give everything to me
I'm just waiting for the show
Cause I got no where to go
So, why should you come when I call?
I never say nothing at all
Why do I go, when I go?
It's leaving me here all alone
You ought to get out on your own
Cause nothing makes me feel so good
Gets me high
So I sleep at night
And let's me know that everything's alright
I feel nice
I'm so sorry in the morning
Could believe what you believe
I'm used to waking up alone
And if you think about it
Anyone you think about is better love than me
But if you've not fallen quite asleep
I might call tonight
If that's alright...why should you come when I cal?
I never say nothing at all
Why do I go, when I go?
It's leaving me here all alone
You ought to get out on your own

current mood: lonely
current music: Honey and the Moon by Joseph Arthur

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12:53 pm - Jebus, save me...
Christians kill me. I used to be a hardcore Christian. I told other Christians that I was Christian, but I didn't push the secular's buttons. I mean, if you aren't ready to devote your life to God, then you shouldn't push people because that will drive them away from the Lord. (I think that's what's happening to me now.) I've truly been into the whole spirit thing, but that was during high school and now I'm not so sure. I'm questioning my faith and whether religion is right for me...or whether I should live my life for me and not Him. Mother is pushing me to attend church again because she thinks I'm not "living for the Lord" and "things that I do aren't what a young Christian girl should do!"

A long December when there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last/I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving now the days go by so fast

current mood: cold
current music: A long December by Counting Crows

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9:23 am - Segues into "fucking without attachment."
I did okay at Thanksgiving yesterday. I walked on the treadmill in the early A.M. for 30 minutes and later at night for about 45 minutes. I ate small portions at dinner, but then I had seconds (even smaller portions) and I finished off the lime Jell-O salad.

But this morning, Dad bought me a Big Breakfast and I ate the whole thing! LoL. That's about 16 points! LoL...so I have 11 points left for rehearsal dinner tonight. And with chicken...I'm finished! I walked this morning and I'll probably walk this evening too, but I feel like I'm cheating on the diet. I am doing the best I can...now, I can't remember if I've worn these jeans I have on, but they feel looser. It could be though, that I've worn them once and they're stretched out. :o)

Okay, so now
for the real reason
I'm writing:

  • Dave Parsons.

Yes, I miss him. This doesn't mean that I love him (because God knows that I know nothing about him) and it doesn't mean that I "like-like" him. It just means that we've been having sex and I'm STARTING to become attached. I wish I could end this cycle. I hate to say it but if I turned back time, I still would have went home with him that first night and I probably wouldn't change a damn thing about this whole situation, but I just wish he would change. I wish he would like me and date me. I don't see anything physically wrong with me.

(Segue into: fucking without attachment...)

R. Elizabeth and I were shopping for PANTYHOSE for the wedding the other day and we were having a helluva time trying to find "sandalfoot" pantyhose. :o\

Yeah...this is just another reason that I HATE being a girl...I mean, I'm sure that guys have it so difficult...but if you're comfortable with masturbating...you can just walk into the GAP, buy some clothes (you know they all match: black, grey, blue, brown), gel/mousse the hair, and look studly. (Of course, unless you're fat. Isn't that every single person's problem??)

But, what I'd give to not shave (it's okay to have an abundance of body hair if you're a man), to not shower (it's okay to not shower either), to smell bad, to be able to grab my crotch in the comfort of my guy friends, to outdrink other guys (not acceptable as a woman), and other studly things that guys do.

Okay, I'm bitter now...and this entry was nothing like I expected it to be.

The End!

current mood: accomplished
current music: Stupid girl by Cold

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Wednesday, November 26th, 2003
11:10 pm - Exercise heals all wounds.
I just forgot how invigorating exercise is! Even though the treadmill in my basement is old and rickety, it does serve a useful purpose, especially in the wintertime...because it's too damn cold to be working up a sweat outside in the cold, breathing in the cold air, and then coming inside to "cool off" and get cold again in my freezing cold house!
Anywho, I was on the treadmill for about a half an hour, probably more...but I went by the number of songs I listened to while on the treadmill. Let me tell you...that new jogging discman really helps get me pumped up to walk/run/jog!

The treadmill also warms me up (because it's so damn cold in the house), makes my appetite go away, and I feel better about myself. ENDORPHINS! :o|)

For myself as well as other people (Dave, people who think I can't, Bradley), I'm going to lose 15 pounds over break. Twenty would be even better, but I'm not sure how feasible that is.

I've got a pair of Unionbay pants to get my cute ass into...and a cute blue clubbin' shirt. And, given the chance that I do get into said outfit before I go back to school, it will stay untarnished, unworn, BRAND NEW, for I will wear it on Friday, February 6, 2004! HAPPY BIRTHDAY RILEY! OKAY, more later. I need a shower because R. Elizabeth and I are going to get our nails done tomorrow day! Then a Thanksgiving feast where I will control the hunger that will never be filled. ;o)

current mood: hot
current music: Hurt by Johnny Cash

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Tuesday, November 25th, 2003
11:30 pm - I'm sooo hungry... :o\
Hunger is a void that will never be filled. I hate diets. I hate dieting. I hate skinny people. I hate high metabolism. Why on Earth do I have to try so hard to lose weight? I'm tired of it. I feel like I'll never be accepted even if I do weigh in at 135 pounds.

current mood: hungry
current music: Rain on me by Ashanti

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Monday, November 24th, 2003
11:17 pm - Why can't I?
Finally, I'm outta college for awhile. Things were getting hairy down there. LoL. (No pun intended!) It's a relief to be able to breathe for awhile. I wasn't doing much anyway, but now I really don't have anything to worry about...except work and payin' the bills.

So, I'm experiencing a bit of nostaligia tonight. I went to the gym to work out tonight and someone asked me about Ryan from Cincy. Wow. I haven't thought about him for awhile...and now I'm listening to the song that forces me to think about him. I can't believe I was upset over that. There are other things I need to be upset about now. I've gotta run. The bed calls!

current mood: nostalgic
current music: Why can't I by Liz Phair

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Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
10:38 pm - Ropes and handcuffs...
I went to Wal*Mart with Marie the other day only to freak out (because she went to high school with Dave) and ask to use her cell phone to call him just to see if he'd answer or call back and leave a message. He didn't answer, but he did call back and leave a message. So, I promptly called him because I KNEW he had his phone on him (he could've been at work) and he didn't answer...or even call me back.

We leave Wal*Mart and she drops me off at my place. I go to my room, almost crying over him (ass) and can't function. I can't write my paper that's due the next day, I can't study for my history final on Friday...I can't even sit and write in my journal. So I message Amanda and Kimberly and ask to come over...I was so depressed, but I knew they'd cheer me up and I might get some paper written...riiiight. So I go over there, and they're definitely planning to drink (and I knew this before going) because they both had bad days too. I fill them in on why I'm so depressed, and after Amanda makes a McDonald's run, I attempt my paper, but it doesn't work.

Ryan comes over for "Angel" and I'm totally not feeling the show, so I write more paper. After "Angel" goes off, we start drinking. I lost count of how many I had, but let's just say by the end of the night, my sexual advances toward Ryan were embarrassing me even though I was completely trashed and I had to resort to crawling to get around their apartment. Amanda makes us macaroni and cheese and we have a serious talk about Ryan and how messed up he is right now, so I decide there that I can be a good friend to him, but I need to get over it and move on. No boyfriend here. Somewhere in between all of this, I have Kimberly delete Dave's phone number outta my cell phone. GO ME! I had no intentions of looking up his number again on my cell phone bill, so I thought everything would be glorious; it's not like he calls me back anyway.

The next day, I drive home (it was freezing cold and I was drunk) and get ready for work at 8 A.M. Wow. I feel like shit the whole time I was at work...even though I was only there for an hour or so...and on the way home, I realize that I've gotta shit (drunken shits, bummer) and I feel like I'm about to puke everything I've ever eaten. I take care of business, but I still haven't vomitted...so I lie on the bed clutching myself, realizing that I've got seven hours to write my damn papers (TWO OF THEM!) just hoping that I'll puke soon, so I can get an hour of sleep before I start writing. The urge comes and I go to the bathroom...as soon as I reach the toilet, the urge leaves...of course. So I walk back into my bedroom and lie on the bed again...and grab the trashcan...eventually, I end up on the floor and I puke...and puke...and puke...and puke some more...I puked so much and so hard that I had bursted blood vessels around my eyes...that I noticed when I plucked. :( I'm on my way to a nap, paper writing, and etc.

The Dave thing is over now. And I'm glad. Nothing to worry about. NO FUCKING WAY. It's never that easy!

So I'm sleeping on Friday A.M. until my cell phone rings at 3:30 A.M. I realize it's not one of my friends, so when I get up to look at the number (the phone is still ringing), it's Dave calling. I mean, how odd is that? I take his damn number out of my phone and he calls. So, my stomach instantly starts to hurt...and I freak out. I go relieve myself in the bathroom and I'm shivering the whole time because I shiver (or yawn) when I get really nervous. I come back into the room afterwards and grab my phone and get underneath my covers...I know the blankets won't help my shivering because this definitely isn't a cold shiver...but I can pretend. I call him back and he answers on the first ring. Bastard. He practically was sitting by the phone!

"Hey baby. What's going on?"

"I was asleep," I said yawning.

"Oh no, I'll let you go."

"No it's okay, I'm awake now."

"Do you want to come over?"

"Well, do you want me to come over?"

"Yeah, call me when you get here," he said hanging up.

I throw on my thermal pajamas (because my boxer and T-shirt isn't going to cut it) and my glasses...and start over to Dave's. I call Joshua on the way for moral support, but he doesn't answer. He calls back and I tell him the story. The closer I get to Dave's, the more upset and used I feel. I know I use him right back, but I don't like the feeling that he's just using me and doesn't care, ya know?

Joshua asks me, "You want to spend the rest of your life with me?" I wrote it in my other journal in a stupid survey...and I meant it when I wrote it.

"Yes," I said.

"Wow," he replied.

"Well, I'm here now, so we'll talk later, okay?"

"Have fun," he said. "And I love you."

"I love you too."

I call Dave to let him know I'm outside and he comes out to get me. He is wearing underwear and shorts. Cute. I have to make the comment about my outfit and he doesn't seem to care. We walk into the room and there's porno on the computer. Hmm...he sits there watching it while I'm laying on the bed. I'm sober, so I'm not sure if I should walk over to him and hump his leg or just wait. He pulls a cord out of a drawer and says, "You're going to love me." Hmm. I didn't know if he had a toy or something for me tonight, or what. LoL. He ends up hooking the surround sound up (yawn)...so you can hear the guy saying, "Oh yeah, you like that bitch?" and the girl moaning, "Uhh, uhh...yeah, fuck my pussy."

He lies down on the bed with me and I'm so tired I lay my head down on his shoulder...I know he doesn't want to cuddle because he's watching the porno with puppy eyes. I start to kiss his neck and ear and he moans a little.

"Look over at the screen...see what she's doing? Can you do that?" he asks. I look over and she's giving the dude head. Sure, I can do that. I sit up and pull his shorts off...Gawd, he has the best penis ever. I've been sent the best man ever. I suck for a little bit and he interrupts, "Look at the screen now."

The couple is getting ready to fuck. "You want me to fuck your pussy?" Dave asks. I grin because this is cute and I look at him and crawl up his body...and we kiss. "Yes."

"Lay on your back." And two minutes later...it's over. LoL. If he weren't so good to me the first few times, I might have just run from the room...but I laid on the bed for awhile. He sat on the couch and spouted some bullshit about how he can't sleep with other people in the room and he had to be up at 8 A.M. the next morning for work...he said he felt like an ass and wanted to know what I was doing on Saturday. I told him I was hanging with Marie, but after that I was free.

"We should hang out...not just for sex, but just hang out." Sounds like a plan, but Jesus, call Dave! Long story short, he didn't call...which is fine...he's under no obligation to, right?

He walks me outside and we talk while smoking a cigarette. About the threesome. About how he knows girls don't think he's cute (when he's fucking hot, hot, hot). About hanging out. About Christmas break. About the first time we met. It's odd. I don't like it. I get ready to leave and he insists that I call him to let him know I got home okay. (Try to be a gentleman, now, huh Dave?) He hugs me (as he does everytime) reminds me that he'll call me tomorrow around 8 or 9 (lying bastard) and I ask for a kiss.

"Where are my manners?" he says smiling...and kisses me. They make me tingle. And they're so familiar now. Like a great pair of jeans.

And I'm left to think. Will he call? Will I call him? Will he call me back? Will we ever hang out when we're BOTH sober? Will we ever date? Is there a chance in hell for me with him? Am I wasting precious time? What else would I be doing with my time if I weren't with him? Will he just get tired of me someday? Ahh, the questions of life...they'll remain unanswered over Christmas break...and he'll slowly leave my brain...then he'll show up again...my birthday weekend...what a nice present. Ha ha...anyway, that's enough for now...wanted to get this written and down...for the memory. LoL.

current mood: lazy
current music: Wasting my time by Boomkat

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