rike mussell's Blurty
 
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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in rike mussell's Blurty:

    Saturday, May 15th, 2004
    5:32 am
    fin...
    listen:

    i'm upgrading from blurty to livejournal. this will be my absolute last entry here. the link to the new deal is: http://www.livejournal.com/users/rikethink

    get into it.

    Current Music: neurosis - times of grace
    Monday, April 26th, 2004
    12:46 pm
    for serious, i am the worst...
    i procrastinated for so long about completing an entry documenting my last trip to new york city that i have already embarked upon and, willy nilly, returned home from, another trip to the "big apple." yes. this time i travelled along with charlie, dave-is-cool, and hex. while there, we met up with brad "doesn't know anything about stamps" stevens and fashion lara. dave spent the night with brad at brad's williamsburg (brooklyn) apartment. charlie, hex, and i spent the night in manhattan at lara's f.i.t. dormitory (although she -- understandably intimidated by our incredible sex appeal -- opted to go next door and sleep in her r.a.'s room. well played, oh, fashionable one, well played).

    oh, have i mentioned the bands? spectacular. we witnessed no rarefaction of hardcore shows. and this is all i have to say: "tragedy, tragedy, tragedy." you know? actually, on the way to the knitting factory -- the venue at which said lords of thrash were playing -- we stopped at abc no rio, in order to say hello to a few of our fellow syracusians. you see, tech-metal fellows ed gein were playing with anodyne, mannequin, and yaphet kotto at said venue. question: what sort of friends would we have been if we didn't stop by and, if our schedule wouldn't allow us to stay and watch them play, at least say hello? answer: not very good friends at all. now, the geiners had yet to arrive at abc no rio when we got there; hex and i decided we'd stay at the show and wait for them for as long as we could. everybody else, lest they miss tragedy, persevered ever onward.

    listen:

    hex and i entered the room at the commencement of mannequin's set. they did well. then, fin. hex and i turned to exit and, wouldn't you know, ran directly into a guy who appeared to be matt michel, guitarist/vocalist for majority rule. this guy had a female companion. he introduced himself as matt michel. go figure. "how random," i thought. now, knowing that those majority rulers live in virginia and all, i became skeptical as to whether or not this person in front of me purporting to be matt michel, guitarist/vocalist for majority rule, was indeed matt michel, guitarist/vocalist for majority rule. i mean, who travels? really. i thought: "is it a clone? an evil robot, perhaps?" i was on red alert. no kidding. fortunately (for neckface over here, anyway), he explained that his grrlfriend (note to self: this whole "grrlfriend" story could very well be just a clever scheme devised to divert my attention away from a more likely scenario -- for instance, a plot to blow up the eiffel tower) had had stuff to do in n.y.c., so they decided to drop by the old squat, in order to see mannequin play. she concurred, confirming his story, and my inability to believe that women ever lie led to the immediate dispelling of my previous theory. bummer. incidentally, i learned that mike prophet -- current mannequin/ex-pg. 99 guitarist -- is now a member of majority rule. hot soup.

    anyway -- hex and me were forced to "bang" (see: dictionary of n.y.c. slang) over to the tragedy show before our we-can-show-up-whenever-we-want-to-because-we're-good-at-music terribly late bros. even arrived. put succinctly: we didn't see ed gein. now, let us let out a collective "oh." oh. good. aaron, brad, charlie, dave, devon, jade, kevalin, neight, pauly edge, punk rock pat, ryan the gorham, and ted twism were already at the knitting factory representing the 315. because of our attempt at being good friends (fat lot of good that did, huh?), hex and i missed last words, the opening band. oh, well. the second/second-to-last band, witch hunt, were just setting up as we arrived. to be honest, witch hunt is not my bag of lunch, and i was hungry. all right. fast forward. and this is all i have to say: "tragedy, tragedy, tragedy." you know?

    oh, have i mentioned the food? delicious. we ate breakfast/lunch at red bamboo, and we supped at both red bamboo and vegetarian's paradise 2. amazing. oh, man. and i think it's safe to say that there were just a couple of things on each of our minds: 1) rike looks fantastic naked, and 2) if i was fabulously well-to-do, i'd live in new york city just to dine out all the time. no kidding.

    and there you have it.

    p.s. - i missed being in outer space, but my homesickness was remedied by the reunion of team awesome. yes.

    Current Music: ire - i discern an overtone of tragedy in your voice...
    Saturday, March 20th, 2004
    1:34 am
    segue...
    i haven't been motivated at all lately. normally, i am excited to read and excited to write; books, poems, short stories, and on and on. but not as of late. i'd like to say i'm not sure why, but i have a fairly good idea: depression. i've been depressed for so long. even when i smile, i don't mean it. and believe it or not, being sad all the time really brings "teh s uck." (to put it bluntly, comically, and mildly.) oh, you didn't think the purposeful misspelling of both "the" and "suck" very funny? then you better watch more "aqua-teen hunger force."

    anyway -- i have decided that i need a new muse. when i was complete, when i was happy -- oh, about one thousand years ago now -- i had a hard time writing because, besides the fact that the idea of me having two good things in my life simultaneously is ludicrous, i only knew how it felt to be unhappy. i mean, i'd bleed/cry in ink -- heart to hand; pen to paper -- sooner than you could say: "he is so alone. he is so pitiful." yes. i was redeemed for two and one half years, and i never could find the words to describe just how good it felt (how good she made me feel). and as it turns out, that was one of my mistakes. go figure. but now i am back to being miserable, and i don't even care to capture the words that i once loosed with such ease. i have been no more of a bustling bee-hive of activity than old oscar wilde, and he's dead.

    i'm fairly certain that my life is a lose/lose situation.

    oh, and how funny is that?

    Current Music: xiu xiu - fabulous muscles
    Sunday, March 7th, 2004
    11:52 am
    today is my birthday...
    she told me that the only emotion she has for me is anger. i hate my life.

    Current Music: sigur rós - ( )
    Friday, March 5th, 2004
    3:26 am
    "i know it's over" by the smiths...
    oh, mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head. and as i climb into an empty bed... oh, well. enough said. i know it's over -- still i cling. i don't know where else i can go. see, the sea wants to take me. the knife wants to cut me. do you think you can help me? sad, veiled bride, please be happy. handsome groom, give her room. loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly (although she needs you more than she loves you). i know it's over. and it never really began, but in my heart it was so real. and you even spoke to me, and said: "if you're so funny, then why are you on your own tonight? and if you're so clever, why are you on your own tonight? if you're so very entertaining, why are you on your own tonight? if you're so terribly good-looking, then why do you sleep alone tonight? because tonight is just like any other night. that's why you're on your own tonight -- with your triumphs and your charms -- while they are in each other's arms." it's so easy to laugh. it's so easy to hate. it takes strength to be gentile and kind. it takes guts to be gentile and kind. love is natural and real, but not for you, my love. not tonight, my love. love is natural and real, but not for such as you and i, my love. oh, mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head...

    Current Music: the smiths - the queen is dead
    Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
    1:04 am
    i've been better, but i've been worse...
    i don't know.

    Current Music: joy division - substance
    Thursday, February 26th, 2004
    2:22 am
    oh, internerd, how i adore thee...
    this may be slightly confusing at first, so allow me to clarify: brad asked for my advice concerning a dilemma of his. the problem? stamps. i forwarded an excerpt of my conversation with brad to michelle and, willy nilly, she decided to help him out also. soon afterwards, she and i were sharing with each other the conversations that we were having with brad. the following really happened, no names have been changed in order to protect anyone:

    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: what do you know about mail?
    xdorknerdx: it goes: *send*
    xdorknerdx: i am so terrifically witty
    michell912: hahaha
    xdorknerdx: he was asking me if he could use two $.37 stamps to cover for a $.50 stamp
    michell912: who needs a $.50 stamp?
    michell912: and, yeah
    michell912: he's just wasting postage
    xdorknerdx: i told him i didn't think anyone would complain about a dude ripping himself off
    michell912: hahahaha
    xdorknerdx: ha, yeah
    xdorknerdx: i also told him not to pay for the stamps
    xdorknerdx: but does he listen? nope
    xdorknerdx: he promised to re-use though
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: wait
    murdercity315: so, can i do it or not?
    murdercity315: i don't know how stamps work
    xdorknerdx: are you asking for my permission?
    murdercity315: do i need some kind of $.50 stamp?
    xdorknerdx: or my estimation?
    murdercity315: do you know or not?
    murdercity315: goddam it, mike
    xdorknerdx: either way, i say yes
    murdercity315: o.k., thanks
    michell912: hahaha
    michell912: who is that?
    xdorknerdx: and i know he didn't mean it literally, but he still said: "i don't know how stamps work"
    michell912: hahahaha
    michell912: hahahahahahaha
    michell912: mi chell 912: just put the 2 stamps on it
    mi chell 912: and send the fucker
    mi chell 912: hahaha
    xdorknerdx: it is the infamous brad stevens
    michell912: murdercity315: what?
    michell912: hahahahahahahahaha
    michell912: he has no clue
    xdorknerdx: hahahahaha
    xdorknerdx: amazing!
    michell912: murdercity315: who is this?
    mi chell 912: your conscience
    murdercity315: you're right
    mi chell 912: and i'm sick of this debate
    mi chell 912: you know how stamps work
    michell912: murdercity315: no, i don't
    xdorknerdx: oh, man
    xdorknerdx: this is great
    xdorknerdx: he hasn't asked me who you are yet
    michell912: mi chell 912: you stick them on the damn envelope
    murdercity315: who is this, and how do you know of my stamp dilemma?
    mi chell 912: as long as you have enough postage, it doesn't matter how much you go over
    xdorknerdx: maybe he's gone to others for advice as well
    xdorknerdx: too funny
    michell912: mi chell 912: listen: i know when people are in need of help
    murdercity315: are you my postage guardian angel?
    mi chell 912: haha
    mi chell 912: i so am
    michell912: hahahaha
    xdorknerdx: hahahaha
    xdorknerdx: so funny
    michell912: he gave up on me too, i think
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: dude, this is freaky
    xdorknerdx: what?
    murdercity315: someone just instant messaged me about my stamp problem
    xdorknerdx: no way?!
    xdorknerdx: that's weird, dude
    michell912: hahahaha
    michell912: hahahahahahahaha
    michell912: don't tell him
    xdorknerdx: hahaha
    xdorknerdx: oh, i won't
    michell912: mi chell 912: you could put a whole book of stamps on that bitch
    mi chell 912: they won't care
    mi chell 912: as long as it covers the postage that it needs
    murdercity315: thanks
    murdercity315: who is this?
    mi chell 912: but, seriously...
    mi chell 912: don't do that
    mi chell 912: that would be horrible
    xdorknerdx: hahahahaha
    xdorknerdx: mi chell 912: but, seriously...
    mi chell 912: don't do that
    mi chell 912: that would be horrible
    xdorknerdx: incredible!
    michell912: hahaha
    michell912: you'd think he'd recognize my s.n. from emocuse, or something
    xdorknerdx: xdorknerdx: how do you think they know?
    murdercity315: i don't know, man
    murdercity315: you're the only one who knows
    murdercity315: freaky
    murdercity315: tell me who it is
    xdorknerdx: i certainly didn't go around spurting off about your stamp dilemma
    xdorknerdx: anyway -- i thought we had that problem solved?
    murdercity315: who is michell912?
    michell912: hahahaha
    xdorknerdx: i know, right?
    xdorknerdx: what a kid
    xdorknerdx: he's something else
    michell912: murdercity315: whatever
    murdercity315: get bent
    mi chell 912: what's that mean?
    xdorknerdx: xdorknerdx: hmm
    xdorknerdx: doesn't she post on emocuse?
    michell912: hahahahaha
    michell912: i don't want him to hate me
    michell912: but what does "get bent" mean?
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: i don't know
    murdercity315: i thought i remembered a name like that
    xdorknerdx: let us investigate: make a post calling her out!
    xdorknerdx: i think it's just a funny term he uses
    michell912: hahahaha
    xdorknerdx: i think about stealing it from him sometimes
    michell912: haha, no way
    michell912: i think i'm going to reveal our evil plot
    xdorknerdx: not yet!
    michell912: no
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: dude, what the fuck?!?!
    murdercity315: she said: "don't post about me"
    michell912: hahahahaha
    xdorknerdx: hahahahahahahaha
    xdorknerdx: oh, man
    michell912: i'm laughing! ekfjel;kjf
    michell912: hahahahahaha
    xdorknerdx: me too
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: dude, total freakiness?!?!?!
    xdorknerdx: hahahaha
    michell912: mi chell 912: brad, you're a silly
    murdercity315: who is this, and how did you know?
    xdorknerdx: i can't believe this
    michell912: why doesn't he know?!
    michell912: hahahahaha
    xdorknerdx: i don't know!
    michell912: he must really trust you
    michell912: or something
    xdorknerdx: he's in college! he's supposed to be learned!
    michell912: hahahaha
    michell912: murdercity315: but how did you know?
    mi chell 912: umm, figure it out
    mi chell 912: please?
    mi chell 912: or i'm going to pee my pants
    michell912: murdercity315: i don't understand?!?!
    xdorknerdx: hahaha
    michell912: christ!
    xdorknerdx: you threatened to pee!
    michell912: mi chell 912: there's only one way i know
    mi chell 912: oneeeeeee way
    murdercity315: i don't know?!?!
    michell912: hahahahaha
    xdorknerdx: xdorknerdx: wow
    xdorknerdx: holy...
    xdorknerdx: this is scary, dude
    xdorknerdx: and i think someone is looking in my window
    murdercity315: dude, shut up!
    xdorknerdx: hold on...
    xdorknerdx: nope
    xdorknerdx: it was just my imagination
    michell912: hahahahaha
    michell912: murdercity315: mike russell
    mi chell 912: who's that?
    michell912: murdercity315: goddam it!
    michell912: hahahahahaha
    michell912: man, i should post this on emocuse
    michell912: this is hilarious
    xdorknerdx: i was thinking the same thing!
    xdorknerdx: how would one go about doing it though? it's sort of complicated
    michell912: no way
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: you're behind this, damn it
    xdorknerdx: dude, she's not talking to me; she's talking to you! how could i be behind it?!
    murdercity315: spill the beans, fucker
    xdorknerdx: he said: "spill the beans"
    xdorknerdx: hahaha
    michell912: hahaha
    michell912: he means business
    xdorknerdx: oh, for sure
    michell912: murdercity315: what the fuck?!
    mi chell 912: spill the beans
    mi chell 912: hahaha
    xdorknerdx: hahahahahaha
    michell912: murdercity315: dude, get bent
    xdorknerdx: xdorknerdx: dude, i have no beans
    murdercity315: you're dead
    xdorknerdx: yo, why don't you tell her to get bent?
    michell912: hahahahaha
    michell912: you guys rule
    michell912: i think he hates me
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: yo, why don't you get dead?
    murdercity315: fuck you
    xdorknerdx: who would help you with your stamp dilemma then? you need me
    murdercity315: spreading my postal issues like that
    xdorknerdx: i don't know what you mean
    xdorknerdx: i loathe gossip
    xdorknerdx: haha, i think he hates me too!
    michell912: hahahahaha
    michell912: murdercity315: i'm going to kill mike
    murdercity315: straight up
    mi chell 912: well, i haven't met him
    mi chell 912: so, i guess i won't miss him too much
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: dude, that was like an episode of "scare factor"
    xdorknerdx: hahaha
    xdorknerdx: especially the part about the someone looking in my window, which turned out to be nothing at all... boy, that would've been scary had it really happened
    murdercity315: dude, that would've been total "scare factor"
    michell912: hahahaha
    xdorknerdx: oh, you won't miss me?
    michell912: haha
    michell912: i'm trying to make him feel better
    michell912: he hates me
    xdorknerdx: it's o.k.
    xdorknerdx: he'll feel better when this is on emocuse
    michell912: hahahahahahahaha
    michell912: no
    michell912: i think he'll hate both of us
    michell912: i'm not posting it
    xdorknerdx: i'll do it! dare me?
    michell912: hahaha
    michell912: i dare you
    xdorknerdx: i'm doing it!
    michell912: mi chell 912: can we still be friends?
    murdercity315: no
    michell912: tell him to stop being like that
    xdorknerdx: hahaha
    xdorknerdx: o.k.
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: dude, what's this chick's deal?
    xdorknerdx: i wish i knew, bro
    xdorknerdx: hey, i think you need some new friends
    xdorknerdx: a new female friend, inparticular
    murdercity315: what?
    xdorknerdx: don't you think?
    michell912: hahaha
    michell912: how old is he?
    michell912: he acts as if i'm crazy
    michell912: does he know what joking is?
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: why?
    xdorknerdx: i don't know, just incase one of your other friends ever fucks around with you
    michell912: hahahaha
    michell912: does he have a set number of friends?
    xdorknerdx: i think he's around 20
    michell912: once he reaches that limit he can't go over?
    michell912: you don't know him?
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: what?
    murdercity315: are you trying to pawn this chick off on me so i can use her for internet pranks?
    xdorknerdx: what?
    murdercity315: what?
    xdorknerdx: who are you? who are you? who are you? who are you?
    michell912: hahaha
    xdorknerdx: yes, i know him
    michell912: what?!
    michell912: internet pranks?
    michell912: what?!
    xdorknerdx: i'm not positive on his age though -- i am such a bad friend
    michell912: yeah, you are
    xdorknerdx: murdercity315: dude, eat my shorts
    xdorknerdx: what a good show "salute your shorts" was!
    xdorknerdx: yo, what?
    michell912: haha
    xdorknerdx: i'm just getting ridiculous now
    michell912: eat my shorts?
    michell912: people still say that?
    xdorknerdx: apparently
    xdorknerdx: i need to start thinking of how i am going to post this

    p.s. - auto response from murdercity315: postal issue averted. mike russell has a kid. time for bed.

    Current Music: against me! - as the eternal cowboy
    Saturday, February 14th, 2004
    11:26 pm
    "asleep" by the smiths...
    sing me to sleep. i'm tired and i want to go to bed. sing me to sleep, and then leave me alone. don't try to wake me in the morning, because i will be gone. don't feel bad for me. i want you to know: deep in the cell of my heart, i will feel so glad to go. sing me to sleep. i don't want to wake up on my own anymore. sing to me. i want you to know: deep in the cell of my heart, i really want to go. there is another world. there is a better world. well, there must be. bye bye...

    Current Music: the smiths - louder than bombs
    Sunday, February 8th, 2004
    5:28 pm
    viva las vegas...
    listen:

    the three of us walk into turning stone casino well before midnight. we are confident, and with steady strides we make our way through a sea of losers and winners toward a busy craps table. andy exchanges the currency of the outside world for that of the casino; paper for plastic. i watch andy win, win, win. at his peak, he's added over one hundred dollars to the amount he started out with. not bad at all. and then mark decided to get in on the action. (mark had planned on going to a western union and withdrawing money, however by the time we arrived, all in our vicinity were long closed; mark was left with only the fifteen dollars in cash he had brought.) he loses all his money with one roll of the dice. this is also when andy's luck takes a turn for the worse. then i lend mark twenty dollars, he goes over to the next table, and promptly begins winning. it is not long before he has made approximately two hundred dollars. he returns my twenty dollar loan, plus ten dollars more (as interest, i suppose). nice.

    i watch these two high-rollers lose some and win some over and over again for the next couple of hours, until i decide to try my own luck. i play slot machines, because apparently i prefer to make winning less likely than it already is. i succeed at doing just that. after losing sixty dollars in roughly five minutes, i stop playing, take out the gun i have stored in my messenger bag for just such an occasion, and proceed to shoot myself in the face. then i walk back to the craps tables in order to see how andy and mark are fairing. the answer: not well. and as i stand, cringing with every five dollar piece of plastic the dealer takes away from the spot of the number or numbers andy had bet on, i become engulfed in a cloud of cigarette smoke. would you believe that some bastard i don't even know has the nerve to go ahead and give me cancer? super. so, quite depressed, we all decide to visit the bar and have our way with the free beverages the casino offers. after downing two colas with two cherries in each, we hang our heads, get up, turn around, and walk out. we drive away into the night and, excited at the prospect of literally spending money to make money, pledge to avenge our losses when we return the next weekend.

    p.s. - i'm not addicted to gambling, but i'm working on it.

    Current Music: mastodon - remission
    Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
    1:15 am
    "am/pm" by give up the ghost...
    i was counting the good things about this city. the only good thing is you are not here. when you're around, it makes it hard to be what i need to be. i was trying to breathe. i was dying to breathe. i was hoping i'd never have to write this song again, the kind of song that makes you want to hang your headached-head. and i was hoping that i would never fall in love again, because that would be the end of everything (you're everything). my parents fell in love, and all i got was life. and all i ever wanted was to not be alone. i've been wearing this new outfit, called "quit while you're ahead." your smiles are the end. your eyes are the end. just hang your head. just close your eyes. just hide your heart. i believe that when i'm gone, my love will live in song. this is not where i wanted to be. this is not where i wanted to live...

    Current Music: give up the ghost - background music
    Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
    12:58 am
    "throwing the sky (epoch)"
    the love of a lifetime. the kiss. the never before. the never again. the unseen. the sight. the realization. the mistake. the emptiest of arms. you...

    Current Music: g.y.b.e.! - lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven
    Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
    10:56 pm
    "sarah p. pants"
    she is:
    a beautifully blossoming flower, always bursting with sweet samples of urine.
    rarely telling the truth, even when she's telling the truth.
    a shooting star when you thought you saw a u.f.o. (but you didn't, because it was sarah-the-shooting-star instead of a goddam u.f.o.).
    happy to remove her clothes for five measly dollars.

    yes, she is sarah p. pants. behold!

    Current Music: a.f.i. - black sails in the sunset
    2:23 am
    rock & roll high school...
    i went to a show last night. it was a lot of fun. all of the bands were solid, and each one had something inspiring to say. the focus wasn't on politics, or anything, but it doesn't always have to be in order to be sincere or well received -- everyone isn't interested in the same things, after all. but certainly, it would not be far fetched to assume that there is still some correlation between the hardcore scene and politics, even when the spotlight is not on a particularly "political" band. for instance, considering the bands' speeches, one would not have to be hard-pressed to decide upon a theme for last night's show: unity.

    the thing is this: a few days ago, while on a tour stop in the fabulous state of ohio, a band by the name of ed gein (who headlined last night's show) suffered a fairly sizeable loss; someone broke into their van, hot-wired it, and drove off with it and the trailer that was hitched to it. now, if you are at all familiar with d.i.y. hardcore, you know that while a band is on tour, that van is their home. anything -- capable of being taken on the road -- with any relevance at all to the daily routine of a typical teenager or young adult in today's world is going to be in that van. add to those probably personal possessions the expansive (and expensive) amount of musical equipment, and the sum is terrible. it really is. the geiners were lucky enough to be on tour with two other bands at the time, both of which contributed their instruments, spots in their vans, and probably much more in order to not only get the threesome home safely, but allow them to finish out the final dates of their tour as well.

    and to me, that is what anarchism is all about; that is what hardcore is all about; that is what life is all about: unity.

    we've got to help each other out.

    Current Music: the funeral - last recording
    Sunday, January 11th, 2004
    4:01 pm
    taken from fast food nation by eric schlosser...
    "i see: a man reach inside cattle and pull out their kidneys with his bare hands, then drop the kidneys down a metal chute, over and over again, as each animal passes by him; a stainless steel rack of tongues; whizzards (small electric knives) peeling meat off decapitated heads, picking them almost as clean as the white skulls painted by georgia o'keeffe. we wade through blood that's ankle deep and that pours down drains into huge vats below us. as we approach the start of the line, for the first time i hear the steady pop, pop, pop of live animals being stunned.

    "now the cattle suspended above me look just like the cattle i've seen on ranches for years, but these ones are upside down swinging on hooks. for a moment, the sight seems unreal; there are so many of them, a herd of them, lifeless. and then i see a few hind legs still kicking, a final reflex action, and the reality comes hard and clear.

    "for eight and a half hours, a worker called a 'sticker' does nothing but stand in a river of blood, being drenched by blood, slitting the neck of a steer every ten seconds or so, severing its carotid artery. he uses a long knife and must hit exactly the right spot to kill the animal humanely. he hits that spot again and again. we walk up a slippery metal stairway and reach a small platform, where the production line begins. a man turns and smiles at me. he wears safety goggles and a hardhat. his face is splattered with gray matter and blood. he is the 'knocker,' the man who welcomes cattle to the building. cattle walk down a narrow chute and pause in front of him, blocked by a gate, and then he shoots them in the head with a captive bolt stunner -- a compressed-air gun attached to the ceiling by a long hose -- which fires a steel bolt that knocks the cattle unconscious. the animals keep strolling up, oblivious to what comes next, and he stands over them and shoots. for eight and a half hours, he just shoots. as i stand there, he misses a few times and shoots the same animal twice. as soon as the steer falls, a worker grabs one of its hind legs, shackles it to a chain, and the chain lifts the huge animal into the air.

    "i watch the knocker knock cattle for a couple of minutes. the animals are powerful and imposing one moment and then gone in an instant, suspended from a rail, ready for carving. a steer slips from its chain, falls to the ground, and gets its head caught in one end of a conveyer belt. the production line stops as workers struggle to free the steer, stunned but alive, from the machinery. i've seen enough."

    Current Music: tragedy - vengeance
    Friday, January 9th, 2004
    8:40 pm
    face it, nap time has a larger mass appeal than your faux-plan to rebuild the economy any day...
    my roughly two hour long nap has just reached its end and, aside from the initial grogginess, i feel totally refreshed. i must admit, i am a staunch supporter of nap time. if i were to ever run for public office -- which is not very likely, but let's go crazy for a moment and pretend that i am the fucking champion at everything, and could easily heal the wounds we as a world have suffered at the hands of the repressive plutocratic government of the united states of america by getting elected to any position at all; even, say, oh... what's that position to which any old shmoe (with enough dough and henchmen in high places) is capable of being elected? oh, right! president! -- my platform would be nap time, nap time, nap time. impossible, you say? i feel obliged to disagree. it could really work. and just to further prove my point, here is an exerpt i have taken from a random press conference that has just happened inside of my head:

    reporter: "mr. rike mussell, future president for life, isn't it true that as a teenager you participated in several acts of anti-war activism? what would you say to all those ethnocentric, god fearing, gun crazy, homophobic, pro-business, racist, sexist, war mongering, wife-beating republicans who say that that is a very un-american thing to do?"

    me, mr. rike mussell, future president for life: "that is true, reporter; i have participated in several acts of dissent. my intent was to let it be known that there was discontent among the people over the tragic and unwise decisions made in relation to iraq by the bush family junta. and my response to those bigots would be simple, i would say: "take a nap, guys. allow your blond hair to become one with that white pillow. put those pretty blue eyes to rest. let those wet dreams of world domination consume you."

    reporter: "wow! that's brilliant, sir. i am, well... i was a conservative christian until you said that. now if you'll excuse me, i am going to go home and apologize to my family for all of the life that i have caused them to miss out on, because i said we should go to church instead of doing something constructive, productive, and fun -- for instance, forming a community frisbee team -- then we are all going to take a nice nap. vote rike!"

    me, mr. rike mussell, future president for life: "i am grateful that you understand the importance of nap time, reporter, and are willing to take matters into your own hands. nap time, everyone, nap time!"

    and that would be that.

    p.s. - vote rike!

    Current Music: dead prez - let's get free
    Thursday, January 8th, 2004
    11:35 pm
    for your information...
    i work at this independently owned pizzeria called "nana's." it's located about a mile from my house, which is very convenient. this means that when all of the pretty, white snow has finished melting, yours truly will be able to ride his bike to work. incase you were wondering, the proper response to this bit of information is "rad!" go ahead, try it out. nice, right? anyway -- my roommate, keith, also works at nana's, although for how much longer is uncertain. he's not going to be getting fired, or anything; he's planning on putting in his two week notice. this is kind of a bummer. it really is. the reason that keith has decided to resign as pizza-deliverer extraordinaire is because he got another job. his new place of employment is canfield machine and tool, a factory at which he sits down for long periods of time and oversees the production of rectal thermometers. keith receives $8.50 an hour in restitution for the life he loses overseeing the production of rectal thermometers. incase you were wondering, the sole purpose of this entry was to provide me with an opportunity to let everyone know that my comrade is now employed as an overseer of the production of rectal thermometers. amazing. oh, man.

    Current Music: strike anywhere - exit english
    2:52 am
    my first entry!
    i finally caved and got my own online journal. yeah, i'm hip. it's just that i always enjoy reading these types of things, so i decided that perhaps it would be even more fun to write one of my own. go figure. i am now prepared to unleash a juggernaut of anectodes, emotions, and ideas onto all unassuming readers. forward!

    Current Music: refused - the shape of punk to come
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