A Fire Outside's Blurty

Time:

8:46 pm.

I forgot to post this like a week ago, I got a live journal and here is the url for it: http://www.livejournal.com/users/judyxcore

When I get a livejournal code I think I'll give to Stephanie. Or maybe Kristina, that way I won't have to look at her journal seperately and I'll just be able to click "friends" and see what she writes like with everyone else. Or I could give it to Stephanie and it will be her only journal and she'll write about how Ketcham sucks and how if she came to our school she would have so many more friends. Or I could give it to Betty so that way when she doesn't write in it I can complain. Or I could give it to one of them then force her to give me her code and give it to the other one and force her to give me her code then give it to the last one. Too bad I don't really have any guy friends. Pranay has a livejournal, KW sucks so I wouldn't want to read his, KOC is overwhelmed by technology and um...I have no other friends that guys. I guess Konrad is my friend now, but whatever. There is also JC, but I don't know his s/n and there are a lot of other people, but Marie Rose is my best friend.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	era
Time:	12:19 am.
Mood:	i HATE my brother.
Music:	me - hating the world (is that really music?).

marie had some cool quizes, so i'll take some of them.

AFI

Which of my favorite bands are you: Taking Back Sunday, Thursday, Something Corporate, Dashboard Confessional, or AFI?
brought to you by Quizilla

SCIENCE

Whoa, kick ass! You are "S.C.I.E.N.C.E."!
You are an incu-head that likes to mosh. When
in dire need of jumping up and down, you need
to hear songs like 'redefine' and 'nebula' a
couple of times. Your rebellious but lack some
maturity, either way, you still ROCK! Kudos my
friend.

What Incubus Album Are You?
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I probably really shouldn't be posting this next one, but whatever

You are cutting

What Self-Mutilation Are You?
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ok, the rest are too hard. bye!

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Subject:	"Staring at the setting sun, no reason to come back again" Thursday
Time:	8:11 pm.
Mood:	depressed.
Music:	AFI - New Patron Saints and Angels.

I don't know why I put the subject in quotes and what band it's from, I didn't used to do that before, as you can all see. Sigh...today would have been three months. But whatever. Tomorrow I am being forced to stay home. My dad hurt his back so I have to help him do some stuff around the house. Yeah, whatever. I don't feel like writing. My dad didn't get home until nine o'clock in the morning today. That's like eleven hours more than he's suppose to work. Stupid power outage. I'm reading this book called "Pandora" by Anne Rice. I read most of it last night by candle light. I had this really weird dream. Danna and Elizabeth were getting married. I was watching, sitting with people I didn't know in some church place. Well, then at one point, I understood everything in the universe. I understood why Sumi Baby loves Raashi, why KOC and Wylie had ADD at the same time, why Mike likes Liz even though she's a complete whore. Also, there was some moment of understanding about Nick and Stephanie Eng, but whatever. But when I woke up, I forgot all the good stuff from that dream. I only remembered that Pranay was the best man.

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Subject:	Throw this bottle back into the ocean!
Time:	3:58 pm.
Mood:	amused.
Music:	Thursday - Paris In Flame.

I had nothing to do...and I saw this in Marie's blurty so I'll do it too. I probably should do the ones in Matt's blurty, they seem a little more interesting.

1. Do you own any plaid clothing?: nope
2. Do you own Converse shoes?: never
3. Do you own Saucony shoes?: no
4. Do you own old school Nikes?: not anymore
5. Do you wear tight pants?: depends what you consider tight?
6. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: not that i know of
7. Do you know what a squatter flap is?: no...
8. Do you own a messenger bag?: i dont use it
9. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest?: i said i dont use it
10. Do you own braces?: yeah
11. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth?: no
12. Do you have short, shaggy hair?: just short?
13. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches?: no, that would be scary
14. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon?: no
15. Do you think mohawks are "neat"?: sometimes
16. Is your hair black or red?: black...red is way too hardcore for me? unless it's kyra red
17. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye?: no
18. Do you own a bandana?: no
19. Do you wear plugs in your ears?: no...it sucks that I don't know anyone who does
20. Are you amused by safety pins?: Liz has a big one on her backpack
21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute?: no
22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them?: i probably should
23. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from Dogpile, Lip Service, or Tiger of London?: if I did, I would be ashamed
24. Do you enjoy leopard print?: depends on my mood

HABITS/BELIEFS:
25. Are you disgruntled (having a general hate for everything)?: some (well,... everyone) thinks I am
26. Are you an anarchist?: no
27. Does the American flag anger you?: no.
28. Are you "working class"?: no
29. Do you dislike "preps"?: depends who the "prep" is...
30. Do you dislike Hot Topic?: yeah
31. Do you smoke cigarettes?: no, that's gross
32: Do you smoke cloves?: smoking in general is just not cool
33. Are you a thin waif?: no...just thin
34. Are you vegan/vegetarian?: no way, give me my chicken!
35. Do you think meat is murder?: no. those animals have nothing to live for anyway.
36. Does your nighttime activities usually involve drunken underage vomiting?: straight edge!
37. Have you ever slept in an alley or park?: no
38. Do you wash your hair less than once a week?: no...
39. Have you ever gone a week without a shower?: no
40. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor?: i don't know...it doesnt matter much to me?
41. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is?: yeah
42. Do you like Kerouac?: I don't know anyone who reads him
43. Should Mumia Abu-jamal be freed from prison?: if he got in, why can't he get out?
44. Are you a member of the Makeout Club?: no

SPEECH:
45. Do you say "rad"?: no way...unless I'm rapping with Raashi and there isn't anything else left
46. Do you say "rockin'"?: kind of?
47. Do you say punk "rawk"?: only when I talk about that MxPx soung
48. Do you spout the word "oy" at random times?: no way
49. Do you say "punk's not dead"?: NO F-ING WAY!
50. Do you say "punk is dead"?: sometimes...because it is

Last and least important-MUSIC:
51. Do you like bands with "." in their name?: yeah
52. Do you like bands with "theory" in their name?: i suppose
53. Do you like bands with "the"?: of course
54. Do you ever precede your own name with "the" at the beginning?: not anymore
55. Do you like bands with the F word in their name or album title?: no way
56. Do you think "Christian punk" is an oxymoron?: yeah...but I don't feel like explaining why...and it's not offensive
57. Are Blink 182 fans "posers"?: well...if they like Blink-182, what are they "posing" as? people should like whatever kind of music they like, not what other people like or what the tv tells them to
58. Do you have frequent debates over what exactly constitutes a sellout?: not frequent
59. Have you ever brought the headlining band food?: no, but in a lot of the Finch interview I read they mention food
60. Do you have show flyers affixed to your walls?: no, my walls are just white.

Yeah....so whatever.

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Subject:	To her own reflection she said..."
Time:	7:09 pm.
Mood:	excited.
Music:	Finch...um, the whole CD.

Today started off sooo slow. I woke up late and missed Yu-Gi-Oh! But then I remembered...yugioh SUCKS. It was also probably a rerun. Then I had mow the lawn. I actually had to do the front yard this time. Imagine that, Sean actually outside, and actually not sitting in one place...where people can see! My brother did the second half of the backyard...where it's all flat and with no trees or random organic things growing. Then I went and did something unspeakable. But not THE unspeakable. Wait...what would be THE unspeakable for me? Would it be doing Sumi Baby? Or wouldn't it be doing it with Dev? Or would THE unspeakable having a threesome with Sumi and Dev? That is SOOOOO gross. Oh well...good thing I didn't do THE unspeakable...just something unspeakable. Actually, I told Stephanie and Pranay. If Liz reads this, she will probably figure it out, since we were talking about it before. Oh well. Yeah, so...

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Subject:	A story at three with the shrillest of cries.
Time:	11:38 pm.
Mood:	hardcore!.
Music:	AFI - Battled.

Why isn't there a little mood thing for "hardcore"? I bet people feel hardcore all the time. Who the hell is Colin Farrell? I totally 0wned in Mario Party today...by myself. The computer is SO dumb. Oh well, playing Mario Party by myself was so boring. I finished reading this book about how this vampire goes into heaven and into hell. When he was in hell, it was soooo boring. Until the end, when they took his left eye. I took another one of those crazy quizes.

Tarzan!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Era what? I HATE Tarzan. So anyway. I heard Matt is in town. I haven't seen him yet. But whatever. I'm not gonna be home tomorrow, so I'll probably find out if we can hang out Saturday or something. I wonder if Liz is still a virgin?

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Subject:	Where's the threat you see in me?
Time:	10:20 pm.
Mood:	emo.
Music:	The Crush - Here Is Where I Cross My Fingers.

Yesterday I went to my grandma's house. My grandma's sister was there. I really don't like her. She lives in Colorado, how she ended up there is a mystery to me. But whatever. She's really annoying and doesn't stop talking. And of course, my mom tells her everything (that she thinks) is happening in my life. It's really funny when they say names of my friends that are like eight years outdated and expect me to care. It's also really stupid how that whenever I have a friend that is a girl, my mom thinks she's my girlfriend. It's also pathetic how my mom remembers everything incorrectly in my life since second grade. Oh well, I couldn't stop laughing on the inside because my mother and my grandmother's sister thought they knew everything about me when they knew absolutely nothing. Man, its so amusing how they think kids are two dimensional and don't have individual personalities. Did I also mention that my grandma's sister is a teacher. Man, I she's so annoying. But whatever. My brother and I met two of our aunts in Manhattan to have dinner at this Chinese place (I think it was called Wu Liang Ye?) for my brother's birthday. My brother's birthday is Friday. I have no idea what we're doing, but I do know that once again, my life won't be controlled by me. My brother's friends came over today. Yes, all three of them. They gave him some presents. Only one of them, Rachel said "hi" to me. I just waved. Good thing I started playing AFI, so they went outside. Are Eye Sea has a lot more stuff now. The only things that don't work is the guestbook, polls, my section and the Pranay section.

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Subject:	"She makes me feel like it's raining outside"
Time:	3:47 pm.
Mood:	satisfied.
Music:	Blink 182 (gasp!) - Give Me One Good Reason.

Donna Era Woot Amy. I haven't updated this thing in a few days. Hmmm...what should I write about? On Wednesday, I had to visit Binghamton. The drive there was SO scary because my brother drove. I felt like I was going to die. There were a lot of bugs at Binghamton. The information session was kind of boring, but the chairs were all cool. The tour guides introduced themselves and said what crap they did. The emo girl with really short hair (like...shorter than mine when I get a haircut) said "blah blah blah, and I'm in the Binghamton RAINBOW PRIDE! club!" It was SO cool. And also, her shirt said "Special kids are special friends". But guess what? The emo lesbian girl WAS NOT (I repeat, WAS NOT) our tour guide. Instead it was this really dumb kid who was like a skater or something. He made SO many dumb jokes and everyone in the tour group laughed. I mean, what the fuck? He said Dave Chapelle performed there. And some other people, mostly rappers. That just makes so much sense, a bunch of ghetto rappers in upstate New York. What next, punk rock in Alabama? Oh well. There were SO many bugs, it pissed me off so much. The next day when we were home, I fell asleep on my deck. So I was in the sun for like four hours and guess what! I WASN'T burnt. HAHAHA. Yeah, well, if you're Mike Zunic or other people who only burn and not tan, you should be offended. Well, on Friday, I was forced to visit two more colleges, NYU and Columbia. It wasn't that bad, since I wanted to see NYU. We went to NYU first. At the information session, there were so many emo, punk rock and art rock kids. So I was wondering, "Why do so many emo, punk and art rock kids want to come here?" So I was about to get into my deep thought mode but then I just thought "Um...it's because Irving Plaza is like right there, stupid." So instead of pondering odd concepts, I actually paid attention to what the dumb lady was talking about. The tour guide there was this southern California punk girl, but she said she was from New Jersey. Columbia was so boring. There was like a billion people there. The tour person was this emo/prep guy. He was actually funny. He said some really cool stuff, but I forgot what. But anyway, it rained. My brother was wearing sandals and I kept laughing to myself because his feet got all wet when he stepped in puddles. It was like "HAHAHA, dumbass". Oh, the tour person at Columbia made everyone who is going to be a student to introduce themselves and say what they hate. My brother said he didn't really hate anything. I could have named like a thousand things for him, like AFI, Finch, Glassjaw, me, and anything else I like. This Asian girl said she HATES country music, so Davey (the tour guide) said, "Ok, everyone, there will be no whistling Dixie on this tour!". He said a lot of other funny stuff. I'm like halfway through "Memnoch, the Devil". It's really weird. Memnoch...he's the devil. He took Lestat to heaven. Lestat met God, but God only had like one line and Memnoch took Lestat back to earth. A lot more stuff happened in the book, but I don't feel like explaining everything. I listened to Blink-182 today. Hmm...I don't know why, I just felt like it. I listened to Take Off Your Jacket and Pants instead of Dude Ranch. It wasn't that bad. I found so many lines that could be possibly be references to Marie and Riquif. Oh well. I redesigned Are Eye Sea! There really isn't that much on the website besides the quiz, some quotes and one song that Marie wrote. Hmm...I need to ask Marie's opinion on how the website looks and what she wants me to put on it. My dad wants me to start the summer reading thing tomorrow. I'll just say I did if he asks. I mean, if I'm not in honors next year, I would be wasting A LOT of time doing the literary journals or whatever we have to do for the book. But whatever. A month until school starts. Why do I write so much in this stupid thing? Is it because I feel obligated to write this much, since it's the only record of my personal exsistence? Oh well, it doesn't even say my name anywhere in this thing. My name is Sean. Now it does.

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Subject:	era this woot that
Time:	10:25 pm.
Mood:	era.
Music:	GlassJAw - Radio Cambodia.

I didn't do much today. I was watching "The Queen of the Damned" again and my dad yelled at me for watching "that vampire nonsense". Then I asked him how the stuff he watches is better. That made him feel stupid. Oh well. I talked to Marie online today. She was totally bitching about her bass. She thinks if people know she one, everyone else will want to get one. But um...I've been saving up for over a year and I don't EVERYONE's life revolves around hers (but some do). So whatever. Then I looked at some more emo websites, because the ones that tell you how to dress emo are so amusing. On the second one I found, for guys it says to wear Reebok sneakers. Liz was so right about KOC's emoness. I have to send her that website. I took this quiz about how "emo" I am.

take the emo quiz.created by jessi

Charlie Brown is cool. But not SO cool. There is a city in Ontario called Emo. I wonder what genre of music I should look up for no reason next week? Well, don't read the last entry in Liz's journal. Tomorrow I have to go visit Binghamton with my family. I don't think my brother is going to go there, so why the hell are we going to visit.

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Subject:	Could you show me, dear...something I've not seen
Time:	10:32 pm.
Mood:	blank.
Music:	Incubus - Aqueous Transmission.

I don't have much to say, but I'll find a way to write a lot anyway. Whenever I go on the blurty website, on the homepage, there is always some personal ad, with someone's ugly face. This time, it was this asian girl, "bignjapan". What a clever name. Well, under the person's picture, it always says something about them. bignjapan wrote that she wants someone who would miss her when she's gone. I guess Elizabeth has what she wants. Oh well. Here is a poem I read. It's by Stan Rice.
What God Did Not Plan On
Sleep well,
Weep well,
Go to the deep well,
As often as possible.
Bring back the water,
Jostling and gleaming.
God did not plan on consciousness
Developing so
Well. Well,
Tell Him our pail is full
And He can
Go to hell.

I think the end of the poem is mean. If Marie reads that, she'll be offended. She should be, since it's offensive AND blasphemous at the same time. Even I can't be both at the same time. Well, I probably have, but whatever. Well, I took this quiz thing. Stephanie would be amused by it.

blow them away

You'd blow them up

How would you kill someone
brought to you by Quizilla

Also:

Gangsta Bitch!

You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	one time alex smith said she likes the dixie chicks
Time:	9:59 pm.
Mood:	okay.
Music:	Finch - Project Mayhem.

Once again, I'm gonna totally complain about how there isn't a mood icon for "whatever" so I'm just gonna use "blah" which is like "whatever". When ever I write in this thing, I don't really feel anything since I only write in this when I'm online and no one is talking to me. Which would be like I'm bored. Today, I didn't really do anything. I woke at nine today...which isn't really that early. But I woke up because I had that scary dream about clown Pranay and KOC and pumpkin Raashi and Marie with a shovel. "Marie with a shovel" reminds me of "Joe with a BOX!". Well, I finished reading that book I was reading...I have to tell Marie what happens to the nun. My dad made me mow the lawn. Which was totally pointless, since I don't play on the lawn or anything, so why do I have to mow it? Oh well. I did some other stuff, which I don't feel like writing about. It's only the 26th...sigh. But anyway, yesterday night, I was talking to Marie online, and she asked me if she changed at all since last year (eighth grade). I said she didn't. Then I thought about it, and I realized people don't really change. They just become more of who they are, as if that person fine tunes all of his or her distinct characteristics. How I came to this conclusion, I don't remember. But I think I'm right about it. Pranay told me that Wylie's family is going to host a kid from Japan. That must really suck for the kid from Japan. Besides, who the hell would want a stranger living with them for a month or however long it is? I mean, I already have enough trouble living with my mom, my dad and my brother. Why would I want to add another person? I changed my mood to "okay" because I am.

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Subject:	no era no woot
Time:	8:08 pm.
Mood:	blah.
Music:	GlassJAw - Motel of the White Locust.

Sigh...for the past three days I was forced to visit some colleges with my family. On Wednesday, I went to Boston University and Boston College. Boston College kind of sucks. I wouldn't want to go there. Boston University was ok, I would go there, but not really. On Thursday, we went to Tuft's University and um...Northeastern University. Tufts seemed like it just plain sucked. I wouldn't want to go there...it's like boring times five. But they do have a Homer Simpson club...which sounds stupid. The tour guide there said something interesting, but I forgot what. Northeastern was cool. They have this cool Co-op program...and it's a five year skool, but I would want to go there and I think if I actually try in school from now on, I have a good chance of getting in. When I was there, I think I saw the girl that Mikey liked in seventh grade or something. I have to tell Marie about it. I haven't spoken to her in a long time (no, not like five months, just like five days). Oh well. Today, we visited Cornell....which is in the middle of NOWHERE. Oh em gee, I would never go there. But, the tour guide said Bill Nye is an alumni! So is Hillary Clinton and Jane Goodall. I wouldn't get in there anyway. But she was talking about what bands play there and stuff, and she said she saw Incubus! So, yes, the tour guide girl was actually cool. She reminded me of Pam from Elysium. I don't know why. Sigh...Elizabeth is in Hawaii until sometime in August, I think the seventh. I think I'm suppose to arrange Stephanie beating down KOC, while Pranay and I watch. Too bad I don't know koc's phonenumber and he's too dumb to make a screen name. I keep having these really scary dreams about Pranay and KOC being undead scary clowns. Raashi is also there...she's the pumpkin king. Marie has a shovel. I'm the only normal one in this series of dreams. Most of them end up with me waking up so suddenly that it's scary. In one of them, Raashi ate KOC then Marie used her shovel to dig Pranay's grace to put him back since he's dead....and a clown. But then Raashi threw up and Pranay came out instead of KOC and in the casket where we thought Pranay was...was Pranay only not a clown. Then he was a clown and the clown Pranay that came out of Raashi wasn't there anymore. Who knows what happened to KOC? And why doesn't Marie put down that shovel? Actually...it's kind of a cool shovel. I need new headphones again. When you think about it, Raashi and Sumi Baby aren't right for each other. Nevermind...they are. Actually, they're not. Actually, it's just Sumi Baby. OMFG, I just checked the AFI site and the A Fire Inside EP was reissued in a yellow vinyl...TOO F-ING BAD I GOT IT A WEEK BEFORE IN ITS STUPID OLD SKOOL VERSION. Man...that makes me pissed. "What reason is there to be alive? When the word is against you how can you survive? All your friends are apathetic at best, and your entire life is a total mess." Who that is to probably (hopefully) won't read this or even know what song its from or even what band it is, since he's dumb. Like Whoa

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Subject:	The power went out in the middle of "Awake"
Time:	12:23 pm.
Mood:	era.
Music:	Finch - Perfection Through Silence.

Last night when I was about to write in this thing, my power went out. I don't know when it came back on, but when I woke up this morning my clock was blinking with the wrong time. Yesterday, I was going to complain about how windy it was. I had my window open and the blinds down. It was so windy that a big gust of window just blew the blinds over so it knocked over the stack/pile of books and cds that I just stupidly keep infront of my window. Oh well, it's definitely a pile now. Yesterday I got a haircut. It turns out I have a tan line on my head from where my hair used to hang down. Oh well, no one would notice it. Last night when I was reading, a bug flew on to the page I was reading. I killed it then picked it up and dropped it into the flame of the candle that I was reading by. I guess that's there is a good thing about the power going out, I have an excuse to read by candlelight. Tomorrow I'm going to Boston and I won't be back until....I have no idea when I'm coming back. Probably Friday or Saturday. I was playing the Sailor Moon RPG before and the bad guy (actually, bad girls) said "They split up into two factions." Who the hell says "faction" when you can just say "group"? I started playing pokemon and I named myself Rhombus and my rival Square. Then I stopped playing, that game is SO boring. What kind of name is Raglan James anyway

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Subject:	forever wandering together through a world of violets...
Time:	12:28 pm.
Mood:	indifferent.
Music:	AFI - A Single Second.

I got home from my grandma's house yesterday night. I came online and I thought I was going to feed my neopets then go and read in my room, like everyday at noon. Instead, I read what Liz and Marie wrote in their journals. I'll still go read something later. I had this dream that we were all in college. I was going to NYU with KOC, Mike Garcia and Kaitlyn. I don't know why Kaitlyn was there. I don't feel like explaining the whole dream, but in the end, Mikey went into a taxi and it drove into the horizon while KOC, Kaitlyn and I went down into the subway and we saw Amanda Garrant. Then I woke up because Davey said "Like a lost child I will hide!". Well, anyway, I read Marie's journal and she said she is going to hang out with her seventh grade posse tomorrow. Why don't I know about this? I was in the posse in seventh grade! Oh well, it's not like I exactly want to see them. I think I'm gonna go to the mall later and buy some CDs or something. I have no idea what I'm gonna do tomorrow and I don't want to stay home with my parents and my brother since I'll be stuck with them for all of next week. Why isn't there a little face for "whatever"? That's how I feel all the time when I write in this journal. I wonder who reads this anyway? I think Stephanie and Pranay read the first two entries and forgot about this, since I didn't write anything for four days or whatever. It's a really bad idea to sing Triple Zero (by AFI) infront of my grandma because she was like "What burns?!?!? Do you need a drink of water?". Oh well, I was amused. Now the World by AFI reminds me of Marius and Armand from the Vampire Chronicles. I listen to Now the World so much. I think I'll stop downloading MP3s FOREVER now, since it's just evil. It's not like I listen to anything besides AFI, Finch and GlassJAw anyway. Sigh...I wish I had a pet tiger to eat everyone

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