I formulate infinity and store it deep inside of me   
11:56am 29/10/2002
  today the weather was cold, wet and miserable. i dont mind the cold coz i can put on my long duffle coat, wrap my pink fluffy scarf around my neck and put on my warm wooly mittens. i like the rain, especially when i have no place to go. i like the way the weather has the ability to personify a 'human' emotion.

my bus arrived and i got on, sat at the back i could see a somewhat familiar face and they waved to me. i realised who it was and i hurried towards her. i hugged her, she smiled. she asked me how the party on saturday was, i told her it was good but uneventfull. she asked me how everyone was and what had changed. i realised how long it had been since i last saw her, probably just over 3 months, i felt guilty. i informed her of all of the interesting events that had happened.

there was a silence.

''theres something i have to tell you.'' she said, her voice was soft and quite, her eyes were fixed on the ground. i knew what she was going to say, i felt the smile on my face drop. "it's back" she said, "the doctors have told me that they think its back". i didnt know what to say, i felt a lump in my throat. a quick glance at my expression and she carried on, "they found a lump on my head aswell," i gasped, im not sure if it was a silent gasp or not. "a lump?" was all i could say, "they think i have a brain tumour now" her eyes began to quiver. I just wanted to disappear.
12:53pm 27/10/2002
  This is my new safe haven for my bullshit thoughts and feelings