|
[15 Apr 2003|04:03pm] |
|
everyone doing good?
|
|
|
[10 Apr 2003|08:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
ok. i haven't updated in seriously forever. sorrrry. if you people really want to hear everything that's been happening in carolyn's pathetic, oh-so-interesting life, hop on over to livejournal (username- rubiks_cube), cuz yeah i don't feel like explaining everything. i have another song. nothing special, but i like it:
this might be our last chance to change what they say
to prove them wrong
that little slot on applications where you put you DOB
shouldn't be the sole reason to quit
the summer doesn't last that long
rendevous to the spot behind the school
remember the first time here? together...
like the 'rebels' we were, we always broke the rules
take a break. we'll be friends. so naive. to believe.
back to the days, when we had time (all we needed)
but now, the only memory i have is
how smart and dreamy you looked in that cap and gown
while i sat in the bleachers, wanting one more kiss
excuse me ma'am, do you have the time?
i only have till the clock strikes twelve
before he leaves
in less than three weeks
i'll be back in school
without you
alright, i'm done.
|
|
| at school boredom |
[11 Mar 2003|07:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dashboard confessional- broken hearts and concrete floors |
] |
-autumn change
nothing's changed in the way you look at me. the tension is like the humidity on a hot july day, drinking pink lemonade in the shade of your porch. you try to speak, but all you can do is pant. summer days lead into into nights where fireflies rest on the tip of a finger. the kids drag out the jars with the holes on the top, and beg to keep their softly lit prizes, just as i beg to keep you. july wastes away and i'll soon be gone. the laughs that kept us alive all that time silently fade into autumn, and lightening bugs fall to their graves. the rosy tint on your cheeks, now from the crisp morning air is all that i remember when the car pulls out. arriving so far from where you are is a change not worth going through.
-little boy emo [not finished]
desperate attempts to find my way home through the rain lead into thoughts of that boy all alone. the boy that i left sitting quietly on the bed, cross-legged and sighing. the sunlight hits my back as the dark clouds part. my hair and my feelings are drenched with guilt and i continue to walk down the dirt ridden sidewalk with beer bottles to the side. little boy emo lives in his shell, determined to depress, and unwilling to leave. everyone feels, but he shows it to the world he has never really seen that they destroy him. two messages left on the machine when i enter the house. the wrenching pain in my stomach gathers strength after i hit play, is it all because i left? is it all because of those days together, now gone? the voice on the other line cracks like a few years back when that boy couldn't handle the stress he was going through. it's not supposed to happen to people i know, only in movies and statistics. but now that little boy emo has become one of both.
-last night's happenings
black absorbs the sunlight like you absorb thought. the midnight tar in the road is hot under the sole of your show as you lightly walk down the street. boiling over are the emotions you've felt in past lives, that no one remembers. tread on them, but ever so slightly so that the memory stays intact. don't erase everything that was there, but don't keep living out the past. the stench of alcohol stays on your lips from the night before.
alright, before you jump to conclusions about these writings, i don't really know why i write about what i write, and most of it is cliche emo, but i don't give a shit. big smile.
|
|
|
[05 Mar 2003|09:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
south park |
] |
ok. blurty was going to be just for my writings, but i can still write and tell you about my oh-so-important life. smile. alright, lacrosse started. good charlotte/new found glory/less than jake/hot rod circuit concert on may 4. happy. south park is great. i can't think of anything cool to write anymore. it makes me sad. i might write something in school tomorrow when i'm supposed to be paying attention. i'm cool. alright, i'll go now. smile.
|
|
| my little survey |
[27 Feb 2003|02:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hyper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the stryder- captain obvious |
] |
10 BANDS YOUVE SEEN LIVE:
01. good charlotte
02. new found glory
03. the starting line
04. allister
05. flogging molly
06. thursday
07. everyone else i can't remember at warped tour
08. jurassic 5
09. blink 182
10. sadly enough, dreamstreet (music sucked, but i have to admit, they were hot)
9 THINGS YOURE LOOKING FORWARD TO:
01. the gc and nfg concert in may
02. moving to san diego (and learning to surf/skate)
03. learning to play drums and starting a band
04. losing weight
05. the summer
06. graduating high school (so i can get out of the hellhole)
07. having a good boyfriend
08. going on tour when i get talent
09. the rest of my life
8 THINGS YOU WEAR EVERYDAY:
01. my black bracelets (sometimes black and red/black and blue)
02. the unmentionables (sorry, no comando for carolyn)
03. a shirt (most likely a band shirt)
04. jeans or sweatpants
05. socks
06. shoes (my chucks or rip-off skate shoes, i'm a poser. oh well)
07. in winter, a sweatshirt
08. a backpack or purse
7 THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
01. society
02. school
03. almost everyone at my school except for the special few
04. my lack of will power
05. laundry
06. all the shows on mtv that have nothing to do with music
07. stuck up people
6 THINGS YOU TOUCH DAILY:
01. food
02. toothbrush
03. pencil/pen
04. some sort of book
05. soap
06. money
5 THINGS YOU DO DAILY:
01. wake up
02. go to school
03. sleep
04. eat
05. laugh
4 PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
01. on the phone or computer with kate
02. ryan
03. annoying people at school
04. my family
3 MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH AGAIN AND AGAIN:
01. dirty dancing
02. any other 80s teen movie (breakfast club, bill and ted, pretty in pink, lost boys)
03. 2Ge+her
2 FAVORITE SONGS OF THE MOMENT:
01. paper heart- all-american rejects
02. seasons- good charlotte
1 PERSON YOU COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH:
01. most likely my best friends (ok, that's more than 1 person, shut up)
|
|
|
[20 Feb 2003|12:40pm] |
|
cover thy emotions
|
|
| grr i suck |
[19 Feb 2003|07:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
all-american rejects |
] |
while you were having fun with your whores, i stayed here listening to the recording of your voice, telling me that sulking won't do. to get up and out is what i need. no emoticon to show the feeling inside me, the door shuts behind you once more. the only way is to decide here and now what happens next. when the clock strikes 5, will you be here?
|
|
|
[18 Feb 2003|04:29pm] |
|
all night visits lead into yesterday. yesterday, when you had that crooked smile that used to make me laugh. but today is too far gone to try to climb back into what we had. searching for that one lonely speech to make, to try and make it better. not a single tear shed, yet your face is still damp. listening to the silence, try to make it last.
|
|
|
[17 Feb 2003|09:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
joe millionare |
] |
hi.
|
|