X.Mary.X's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[30 Oct 2003|04:11pm]
hey doll faces.
this journal is not going to be useddd anymore. but itll still be here so i can read my fellow blurtyers journals.
so thats that.
if you want to read my journal its..
if the link doesnt work just go to livejournal.com and the username is redxtears.

I Hate...

this entry is for MEL .. crossposted from my LIVEJournAL babyyyy [28 Oct 2003|06:03pm]
[ mood | muahaha ]
[ music | MATES OF STATE biiiiiotch ]

[ mood | calm ]
[ music | 36 crazy fists- enemy throttle ]

thisll be a long entry, so be forwarned, youngns.
today i was thinking back on all the years in middleschool. 6th grade was so akward. i clung to my friend melissa, and was so scared to branch out to new friends. i had always been shy at first, and going into thenew school was scary. melissa was the person who got all the attention, so i wasnt really sure how we were best friends, because the guys im friends with now, are the ones that hated me then. i spent my whole 6th grade year wanting to fit in with the "popular" people, and be "cool." i remember we were sitting at lunch and an 8th grader came in and asked us if we were the "cool kids" in our grade. i felt so unbelievably cool. what the fuck? i pushed away so many old friends i had, and didnt even realize who half the people i was friends with really were. my 6th grade year was a waste.
7th grade came and i was in the little "cool group" w/o really being IN IT.. i was friends with those ppl but still didnt totally feel like i fit in. i mean, i didnt understand how they could just sit there and stab eachother in the back and steal eachothers guys and stuff. it was such immature little things, but it really hurt me back then. im overly empathetic when i see people get hurt. i made a couple of good friends that year. but i had started acting more myself, and when this happend, i noticed i was growing farther from the friends i wanted to be with so badly at the beginning of middleschool. it was sort of a mindless wanting, i wasnt sure why i wanted it , but i did. one thing happend w/ my best friend. i was at a sleepover for someeones birthday, the usual "group" and they started talking about a girl who was becoming "popular." they wanted to plan to stab her in the back. get her a guy and make him embaress him. i dont even remeber it clearly, but me and my friend just were totally awestruck listening to them. how could people be so mean? why did people want to be in this group that was so "cool"?
8th grade was so differnt. i actually acted like myself and hung out with differnt people, and made friends more like me. and i got such shit for it. my friends, i wont name, would put me down SO MUCH. i dont think ive cried so much in my life. i really never wanted to hurt anyone, but they wanted to make me feel badby hanging out with people that wernt "cool enough" to be invited to their parties, be included in their backstabbing, slurs made to the new girl, who ended up being one of mybest friends. its like once i finally started to be myself, they didnt like it. i didnt want to lose those friends, but i didnt want to be stuck with those people who were nothing like me. one person would always be like mary youre such ab itch why do you hang out with those gothic assholes , you want to be a little punk? ive never heard such bs in my life. my friends wernt and arnt gothic, and if they were, who were they to judge me and them without knowng them? and i want STRIVING to be "punk" i wear what i want and still do, and i dont really think its a label. but whatever. finally i flipped out and told them to stop giving me shit because i REALLY couldnt take it, and they stopped. i know they still talked about me. but whatever, thats the way they were. i patched up old friendships with people, and was so much happier.
so now its highschool. and they still havnt changed. going out to dinner was lik ebeing ni middleschool all over again. i wasnt ignored but i wasnt totally included. they got in a little fight as usual over someones boyfriend or something, which of course made everyone uncomforatble. dinner of course consisted of the usual backstabbing. its just so weird. youd think they would have something to tal about other then people. i mean YA we;re teenagers, i dont think ppl arnt going to talk about other ppl behiind their back, but to base 80% of conversation on it? and its so sad they think theyre lives are so horrible.. and im not even joking.. the reason why was becase their mom wouldnt buy Tthem a new shirt frmoo abercrombie, another one a new perfume... they actually said "my life fucking sucks i ahte my mom she wont fucking buy _____" do they realize that people deal with so much other shit. it would totally make me awestruck if they actually showed compassion for someone else. which i know they CAN. ive seeen them do it. but whats holding them back is that false thought that popularity is so important. i wish they could be more realistic in the fact of thigns going on around them, because some of them are such AMAZING people, but just dont show it. people think theyre cool because of the way they presnt themselves. theyre so insecure. its just weird because i look at myself EVERY DAY and question why i have friends. i dont dress exactly like anyone else, act like them, think like them, and i know that SHOULDNT make a friend, but it is. and i just dont no why i have friends. if you look at me with one of my friends, its just weird. they TELL me im so differnt, and just say im their friend because im a nice person. which cant be true. theyre are SO MANY nice people i know that my friends wouldnt give the time of day too.
i dont even know why i wrote this entry.
ive just been thinking so much lately i needed to get it all out.
i really think no one has any idea what the fuck im talking about.

there ya go darling.

6 Hate Jimmy Page -X- I Hate...

another survey.. im . so. bored [12 Oct 2003|05:19pm]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | finch- grey matter ]

.: General :.

[ full name ] Mary Kristan Clemens
[ spell your first name backwards ] Yram... haha ram.. AND IM AN ARIES- and the aries thing is RAM! o wow
[ the user name reason? ] uh i was looking at my desk and it had red star stickers , and i felt like typing 6?
[ birthday ] April 3 1989
[ sex ] female
[ preference ] i'm guessing that means my sexual preference...so male
[ status ] single
[ where do you live? ] sudbury
[ 4 words that describe you ] hyper, friendly, random, short.
[ eye color ] blueish greenish yellowish
[ hair color ] blondish brown, purple red underneattth
[ zodiac sign ] aries
[ heritage ] irish//italian
[ current location ] office thingy
[ current clothes ] pj pants with writing from TABOR PPL! and a mickey mouse shirt.
[ current hair ] tied back
[ current annoyance ] grounded
[ current smell ] rain?
[ current thing i ought to be doing ] nothing at all
[ current desktop picture ] i dno im on my moms retarded computer which randomly changes background colors
[ current favorite artist ] MSI, 311, jets to brazil
[ current book you’re reading ] blue diary
[ current cd in cd player ] mix
[ current refreshment ] soy milk :-P
[ current worry ] uh why cant i beu ngrounded? i dno

.: last person :.
[ you touched ] my mom.. haha um ew?
[ you talked to ] my olivia
[ you hugged ] my mom.. wtf?
[ you instant messaged ] maggie
[ you yelled at ] my mom.. wow i have a life?

.: either - or :.

[ righty or lefty ] righty
[ innie or outtie ] innie
[ thong or bikini ] thong
[ boxers or briefs] boxers
[ pepsi or coke ] cokeeeee
[ mcdonald’s or burger king ] TACO BELL
[ single or group dates ] whateveR?
[ adidas or nike ] adidas
[ lipton ice tea or nestea ] lipton
[ 7-11 or wawa ] 7-11 , wtf is wawa
[ cappuccino or coffee ] coffee

.: what is :.

[ your most overused phrase ] thats cool
[ first feature you notice on guys ] eyes and hair
[ your best physical feature ] umm eyes?
[ your bedtime ] "9 30??" y a my parents think its cool
[ your greatest accomplishment ] making friends at tabor and getting an award... haha guys i miss u
[ your most missed memory ] getting along w/ mi dad
[ your favorite article of clothing ] sweatshirts or band shirts :-P
[ your most important goal in life ] to be a good friend

.: favorite :.

[ food ] chicken
[ drink ] chocolate milk
[ color ] red or blue
[ shoes ] my white/black sneakers
[ animal ] tigers and monkeys
[ movie ] NATM, old school, scary movie... im not immature.
[ vegetable ] raw cucumbers
[ fruit ] apple
[ cartoon ] woodchuck

.: are you :.

[ understanding ] yes
[ open-minded ] yes
[ arrogant ] no
[ insecure ] at times
[ interesting ] yes
[ random ] haha yes
[ hungry ] ALWAYS
[ friendly ] indeed
[ smart ] shutup
[ moody ] yes
[ childish ] someitmes
[ independent ] sometimes
[ hard working ] wen i start to work
[ organized ] my rooms clean :-)
[ healthy ] suuuure
[ emotionally stable ] i dno?
[ shy ] depends
[ difficult ] YES
[ attractive ] no
[ bored easily ] umm im doing this survey? whats that tell u
[ thirsty ] yes, i really am
[ responsible ] if i want to be
[ obsessed ] with the people in my liiife
[ angry ] not at the moment
[ sad ] hmm yes
[ happy ] kinda
[ hyper ] if i was with someone i would be
[ trusting ] totally
[ talkative ] extremely

.: who do you want to :.

[ kill ] my stepmom cause she is a bitch
[ slap ] stepmp cuz shes a fucking idiot
[ get real wasted with ] julia and olivia
[ get high with ] well...
[ look like ] no one ion particular
[ talk to offline ] you know
[ talk to online ] everyone?

.: best :.

[ kisser ] haha hmm?
[ personality ] tracee cuz she always cheers me up :-) meg cuz shes random julia cuz shes my twin, sophie=weird wen we talk, savit = funny miller= funny kid
[ leader ] i dont know
[ friend ] hm..
[ smile ] anne!
[ eyes ] annie
[ laugh ] robb
[ story teller ] nick because he makes them up

.: guys :.

[ favorite feature ] eyes- hair= personality- humore
[ favorite eye color ] blue green or dark
[ best hair color ] i like darker
[ short or long hair ] either shaggy or spiky
[ best height ] taller than me
[ best weight ] uhh
[ best article of clothing on them ] band shirts or polos? uh total opposites
[ best first date location ] wherever
[ best kiss location ] alone
[ crush ] <3
[ in love ] no
[ how many times ] none
[ do they give you the chill ] huh
[ could you picture yourself being married to them ] nope
[ been heartbroken ] yup
[ how many times ] 1
[ most romantic thing you’ve done for someone ] ?
[ most romantic thing someone’s done for you ] ?
[ your dream of a romantic thing for someone to do for you ] ?
[ marriage ] yes
[ kids ] 2
[ for true love or something else ] true love
[ big or small wedding ] small
[ propose… who? ] he'll propose to me

.: have you ever :.

[ kissed in the rain ] nop
[ called some1 in the mid of the night/cuz u culdnt wait any longer to hear their voice ] yeas
[ thought about someone so much you annoyed yourself ] hell yes
[ talked about someone to the point of people telling you to shut up ] julia and liv and soph r gonna kill me
[ who’s the person you miss the most ] my dad, and tabor ppl<3
[ watched the stars with someone ] yes
[ cried because you were so happy ] yes
[ been in love, but it wasn’t returned ] it wasnt really love?
[ kept something that smelled so you could smell it when you missed that person ] nop...stalker
[ called someone more than 5 times during the day ] sounds like something i would do
[ made out ] yes
[ gone out on a date ] not a real one
[ eaten an entire box of oreos ] nah
[ binge ate a pint of ben and jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream ] it was phish food- with meg
[ eaten sushi ] yessss i LOVE IT
[ been on stage ] yeah a couple times
[ been dumped ] ya
[ gone skating ] mhm
[ made homemade cookies ] yes all the time i love baking
[ been in love ] um wow u asked that maybe 3 timeS?
[ gone skinny dipping ] yea
[ dyed your hair ] yesss
[ stolen anything ] no
[ played a game that required removal of clothing ] hahaha..no
[ been caught "doing something" ] almost
[ been called a tease ] no
[ gotten beaten up ] no
[ shoplifted ] no
[ changed yourself to fit in ] used to

wow im glad i have no life... ya.. anyways.. bye

exoh- mary

I Hate...

surveys :-) [12 Oct 2003|02:43pm]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | brand new- seventy times 7 ]

Layer 1
-- Name: Mary
-- Birth date: April 3
-- Birthplace: Boston MA
-- Current Location: Sudbury MA
-- Eye: blueish greenish yellowish , random colors
-- Hair: light brown blondeish, underneath redpurple
-- Height: 5’3
-- Righty or Lefty: right
-- Zodiac Sign: aries
-- Your heritage: italian / / irish
-- Your weakness: hmm
-- Your shoes you wore today: black pumas
-- Your fears: clowns and being alone
-- Your perfect pizza: the one from sweet tomatoes?? haa annie
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: helping ppl
-- Your thoughts first waking up: its raining!!
-- Your best physical feature: my eyes?
-- Your bedtime: "9:30"
-- Your most missed memory: good relationship w/ my dad
-- Pepsi or Coke: coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds, dont really like fast food tho
-- Single or group dates: single
-- Adidas or Nike: adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton
-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee
-- Smoke: used to
-- Cuss: yea
-- Sing: badly
-- Take a shower everyday: yes
-- Have a crush: yes :-P
-- Do you think you've been in love: no
-- Want to go to college: yea
-- Want to get married: yea
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes
-- Get motion sickness: no
-- Think you're attractive: no
-- Think you're a health freak: no
-- Get along with your parents: sometimes, not usually
-- Like thunderstorms: yes
-- Play an instrument: learning guitar :-)
LAYER 6: in the past months
-- Gone to the mall?: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreo: no
-- Eaten sushi: yes
-- Been on stage: no
-- Gone skating: no
-- Made homemade cookies: yea
-- Gone skinny dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: yes
-- Stolen anything: no
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
-- Been called a tease: nope
-- Gotten beaten up: oh god, raquetball... haha u guys
-- Age you hope to be married: 28?
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2, maggie and matt
-- Describe your dream wedding: hmm i dno, on the beach?
-- How do you want to die: doing something cool, like sky diving
-- Where you want to go to college: U of M
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: interior decerator
-- What country would you most like to visit: italy
LAYER NINE: In a guy/girl...
-- Best eye color: green, blue, or dark
-- Best hair color: black or dyed red orsomething
-- Short or long hair: shaggy :-) if not, spiky
-- Height: taller than me
-- Best weight: any
-- Best articles of clothing: band shirts :-P
-- Best first date location: wherever
-- Best first kiss location: hmmm
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: :-/
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 2
-- Number of CDs that I own: a lot
-- Number of piercings: 3
-- Number of tattoos: none
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: once
-- Number of scars on my body: a few.. a chinese thingy :-) hehe meg
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: too many to count.

off to clean my rooom
exoh .X. mary

I Hate...

*Quizzes* [12 Oct 2003|11:28am]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | The Ramones- rock n roll highschool ]


what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

what the fuck?????

Power Rangers Movie!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla


You represent... loneliness.
You represent... loneliness.
Always alone and always sad about it... unlike
angst, you don't have to look for a reason to
be miserable. You want to be in the company of
people but aren't sure how to act when you're
with them. Sometimes you have to make an
effort. You can't always wait for others to
come to you.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

i have to disagree on that!

Gangsta Bitch!
You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

thats me ... gangster all the way

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and as many say
Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

sure then

YAY!!!! MY ROOM IS FINALLY CLEAN. me = not grounded tomorrow. yup.


I Hate...

BORED [11 Oct 2003|11:01pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | mindless self indulgence- daddy ]

oh wow, being grounded sucks.
went back to school yesterday.. wasnt bad i guess. everyone was cool. it was weird with adelle. it was akward being back.. i dont know why.. but im glad i got to see everyone and stuff. :-)
my dad and stepmom are still being total assholes.. ahh
TRACE_ when i get my computer fixed= UP ALL NIGHT! hahah no taking keyboards :-( lol lov ya
ya nothing to write because ive been grounded forever and a day.
ill be ungrounded when my ROOM IS CLEAN.. since i tore it apart thinking it would help clean it? right.
anyways im gonna go clean my room.. fun stuff.

2 Hate Jimmy Page -X- I Hate...

wow [07 Oct 2003|10:45am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | senses fail- forget my name ]

wow.... i can NOT believe im suspended and could get expelled for smokoign pot in teh bathroom.... its unbelievable. im going to find o ut definatly on thursday, so i really hope im not expelled ;-( thanks to everyone whos been really supportive and stuff right now, i really need you guys and appreciate it soo much. so ya... ive been home doing NOTHING except talking on the phone, watching tv, and reading, so i really have nottthing to write . comment*

I Hate...

flick your bic :-) [01 Oct 2003|04:01pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | 311- Creatures (for a while) ]

hey guys
ya today was a cool day. trace went to california- ahh!! melissas getting her braces off and casey got hers off, she looks sooo good! woa im in the SEINFELD club, nice nice. me and sophie joined, its the place to beee.. we might go to see jerry seinfeld at the wang theatre :-)
woa, cant wait till tomorrow... corn...
ya today was pretty burning.... **Boring... hmm
saturday i have the walk for diabetes w/ meg :-) should be some good stuff... yaaa... well im gonna go now.. cuz i have nothing to say,
leave me comments :-)

4 Hate Jimmy Page -X- I Hate...

hey [01 Oct 2003|03:55pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | 3 days grace- i hate everything about you ]

this is my reallllly cool blurty :-)

1 Hate Jimmy Page -X- I Hate...

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