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[01 Jan 2005|10:15am] |
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Dont know how to let you go-Sarah Mclachlan |
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Wow. 2005.
I seriously cant belive it is the year 2005. When I think back on 2005 and it was the greatest year ever but also one of the worst. Lets start with pro's and con's.: I got too see two amazing avril shows with dani kryssy and treeny and we had the fucking time of our lives. I got alot closer with alot of my theatre friends who are amazing and i love you. I started high school. Blah. Im so young it kinda scares me when I honostly think about how young Iam and how I have had and have been offered and taken oppertunities some of my senior friends will never experience. I went to homecomming that rocked soooo hardcore and I totaly got close with someone who I thought I loved. Figuring out who you want to love is impossible..dont try to figure out who you want to love because it will get you no where. Love is something that you feel. If you look at a person regardless of sex or looks or anything and you feel something inside you, be true to yourself and admit your feelings. It is ok. Everyone will still love you.. I promiss. Also this year I learned love isnt something you cant make happen, its just something thats there. I love sooo many people. I love all of my friends (true friends). Also I learned alot about friends this year. I have honostly met over 100+ new friends through school or through theatre or from family etc and after getting to know people I know that not all of them are true friends. Im still in the process of weeding out who is true and not. Its kinda sad but I dont want to be around people who are going to use me and who are not really there. Its pointless. I think mentally 2004 made me grow up. I couldnt bitch about cerfew or come home late because my mom needed me (and still does) soooo much in 2004 that I had so much responsobility just with her that I had to step up and be an adult and get home on time and take care of everything. It honostly sucks. I couldnt stay out last night on new years eve because I have the responsobility oftaking care of anthony this morning and afternoon. I was totaly pissed I didnt get to go out with adam and everyone but then I thought about how much more important it is too my mom that I be home for my brother then it is for me to go out and get wasted and wake up at 5 pm tonight. Eh. I defintly have not lost the emotional part of me. Whoa I can get offended or pissed or sad like nobodys buisness. It sucks but it helps me understand what Iam feeling and personally I think its healthy to let shit out, even if it means hurting someone. There are like a few people I want to shout out for 2004.
Adam-For being the most caring understanding dude I have ever known.
Kryssy-For smiling and being so strong through everything this year. I really wish we could be close again. I miss you so bad.
Lauren- For getting me through the nightmare of pets and for allowing herself to get close to me. I love you. Corey-For forgetting our whole past and becomming one of my true few. Thanks.
ALi- For being the best..ever..always there during school when I need you.
Katie-I thought I knew what we were but then it kinda all fell apart. I still care about you.
Rachie-We our so close again and I appreciate all you do for me and I know we will be friends for forever.. your my partner in crime.
eh and so many others..mo,wayne,josh,jimmy,jackie,katrain,jen,kate,japes,kate leigh,jessi,linda,kara.. etc...
Its been a crazy year. I relocated and all. Bahh. I think this entry is done because there is so much I want to say to so many people but in fear of judgment and fear of hurting hearts I will keep something a mystery.
Thanks for everything 2004.
but I fear I have nothing to give.. <3
P.S. And to you, you know who you are.
Iam here and you can talk to me about anything.
I care and I promiss I would not hate you.
You can tell me.. its ok.
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