| ~*~These Cuts I have They Need Love To Help Them Heal~*~ |
[27 May 2003|10:26pm] |
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mood |
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reminiscent |
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music |
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Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me : Clay Aiken |
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Wow. It's been 5 months I do believe of me having this journal, today. 5 months. Wow. That feels like forever, though it doesn't seem that long. All I can keep thinking, as I look back through old entries, is how much I've grown in some ways, and in others how, I haven't changed at all.
I've got a job now, and I work damn hard at it. I am paying for my car insurance. I can drive [to some extent]. I'm trying to get everything all situated and sorted out in my life, so that I can be me and live like I'm supposed to. I'm a whole hell of a lot more mature now. I had to grow up. When you lose someone you love the way that I did, you have to learn how to deal with things. When you watch someone's life fade away, you have to realize what life is about and what isn't. In those ways I've grown up as a person. Become a better person I think.
But.... I'm still hurting. Really bad at times. And some days I wonder why I'm still here. But I deal with it. I'll get better I will.
That's what I need to change I think. That's the part of me I still need to change.
And with that, I think that these past months have been hard as hell, no fucking doubt about that...but I've grown. A lot. And I think that's the silver lining in pain...that the outcome allows you to see something in yourself that you may not of before.
I wish I had a quiz or a lyrics for this entry...because I think that's kind of important..especially on a special marker...but I don't.
So let me end this with...
You can overcome it. You will. You have. You did.
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