| ~*~ But To Cry In Front Of You...That's The Worst Thing I Could Do~*~ |
[31 Mar 2003|10:06pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Help Me Hold On: Travis Tritt |
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Oh I shouldn't care and wonder where and how you are
but I can hide this hurt inside my broken heart
I'm fighting back emotions that I've never fought before
'cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore
Now I'm writing you this letter
and it's killing me tonight
that I agreed when you believed it wasn't right
and I couldn't sleep up on the bed
so I'm down here on the floor
will I'm not supposed to love you anymore
Dear Erik Michael-
Now you wont be the only one who isnt real anymore.
I love you.
Love,
Me.
I felt so good earlier today..like everything is perfect. It's not. Nothing is perfect. It's like a monet or some painting. Really awesome looking from far away..but when you get close..it's a big old mess. I realize that I'm not meant to be happy. That I'm never ever going to be truly happy. That no matter how much I take care of everyone else..no matter how hard I try to make everything right, it never will be. Theres so much thats coming to my attention now. SO MUCH.
1) What exactly are friends? I have a couple of you that I talk to on an occasional basis, but only one that I talk to every single day *nods* Thats friendship huh? Apparently. And the sad thing is half of you believe me when I tell you Im fine, or Ive been good, or I'm happy. If you really knew me at all..you'd know that it's far from true.
2) There is no such thing as love. I dont even have to explain. There just isnt.
3) Everyone that I love leaves me. EVERYONE. So I decided I dont have to love anyone anymore.....or something like that. Yeah.
I should..I dont really..just... I think that...its going to be better this way. It will. It's easier on you..on him..on them. No more pain right?
I gotta go now. Yeah. I *waves* Bye.
I've got to take the chance or let it pass by
If I expect to get on with my life
My tears no longer waiting, Oh My resistance ain't that strong
Oh My mind keeps recreating a love with you alone
And I'm tried of pretending I don't love you anymore, Anymore, Anymore
Tell me I was dreaming
That you didn't leave me here to cry
You didn't say you don't love me anymore
And it was just my imagination telling lies
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye
I'm in a state of confusion
I hope things aren't what they seem
If this is really happening
Just let me go back to dream
You're home
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