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[04 Nov 2003|05:20pm] |
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I'm done
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| I fuckin hate this computer |
[03 Nov 2003|07:03pm] |
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mood |
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who gives a shit |
] |
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music |
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HIM - Right Here In My Arms |
] |
She is smiling like heaven is down on earth
Sun is shining so bright on her
And all her wishes have finally come true
And her heart is weeping.
This happiness is killing her.
She'll be right here in my arms
So in Love
She'll be right here in these arms
She can't let go
[Repeat 2x]
So hard she's trying
But her heart won't turn to stone... oh no
She keeps on crying
But I won't leave her alone
She'll never be alone
She'll be right here in my arms
So in Love
She'll be right here in these arms
She can't let go
[Repeat 2x]
[bridge]
And she'll be right here in my arms
So in Love
She'll be right here in these arms
She can't let go
[Repeat 3x and fade out]
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| underneath it all there is still life despite it all there is still love |
[03 Nov 2003|03:10pm] |
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mood |
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bad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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As I Lay Dying - Distance is Darkness |
] |
Over the weekened I've been acting like a jackass to you or atleast I saw that in myself. I want to say sorry for all the dumb things I said, did and whatnot =/ I know I should watch myself more but I'm a retard for not looking out and I act stupid eh I'm sorry..
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[02 Nov 2003|07:06pm] |
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mood |
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not in a good one |
] |
| [ |
music |
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pmm - does it dream |
] |
i got love metal today and professional murder music's st thats all..
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[02 Nov 2003|12:48pm] |
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mood |
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pessimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Taproot - I |
] |
I am seeing tunnel vision in a world thats dark and cold,
I cannot believe how much I've changed since the days of old,
I know it's temporary but I need to focus straight,
I cannot believe I lost control of my fate,
I need forgiveness from the people I truely care about,
I need support behind my back to help me spit it out I am gonna win,
I can't afford to blow this one,
I hate myself sometimes,
I love myself,
I need this way of life because it holds me.
contradictions the way of life happiness is wealthyness is healthy
now I've made it through those lies and deceit,
I think whats done is done and I can't complain anymore i am sure,
now that I've found myself again it feels great I can't believe
I'd lost control of my fate.
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[01 Nov 2003|04:09pm] |
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mood |
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=/ |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Between the Buried and Me - (Shevanel Take 2) |
] |
My head won't rest on this pillow
You're gripped in my arms tonight
Like reality: too tight
And if a dream could last forever
I would have you here
Time need no freeze
I need not fear
This world we find inside
Is a world that is yours and mine
And I wont't be afraid to love
I won't be afriad to lose
What I was once afraid of
Teardrops have salt-stained this pillow
Lossened from a weakened clutch
By the sin's light: too much
But I have hope today
That I'll find a way
To make my dream reality
Sometimes I run and sometimes I crawl
Sometimes I fly and sometimes I fall
But this dream of mine won't change at all
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[30 Oct 2003|09:17pm] |
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mood |
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upset |
] |
| [ |
music |
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chimaira - painting the white to grey |
] |
Face I am nothing face
Complete by sarcastic tastes
What a waste I think I'd rather die
Wanting never gaining I find myself pondering life
Always situations I can never hide
Crying tears of anger, hate
Depressed I never know the me, never know what to do
Slit pour out the life a bottle of the "vive"
A desperate cry for something else to justify
I'm in a daze caused by pain
A failing force that wants to change
Painting the white to grey
Numb body shivering
Blood dripping from the skin
Painting the white to grey
Plastic always drastic
A vision of a psychopathic with a razor crawling through the attic
I know somewhere out there someone cares
Wanting me to get my head out of the clouds as they think it's time repair
These scars will never clear
I'll never be the same little one with hopes of one day maybe being sane
I might have tried before...but I locked the door
Now I need a reason to unlock it
I'm in a daze caused by pain
A failing force that wants to change
Painting the white to grey
Numb body shivering
Blood dripping from the skin
Painting the white to grey
Cutting and popping
I know I'm not the definition of your model I'm always dropping
Lying and crying
I rarely find the relevance in always competing or trying...
I take dying
I need to feel the shame in what it was that I did
Cold
In the back of a puppeteer bathroom floor is where I tried to die
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[30 Oct 2003|04:21pm] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cky - sara's mask |
] |
today was boring some of my teachers were like oh shit yesterday was your birthday so they gave me candy which was nice of them. i finally got stacis card and your right it does look like phil hahaha lovely to see a fat cartoon guy dance in a thong it was sweet and thoughtful so thank you staci your such a great friend =).
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[29 Oct 2003|04:53pm] |
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I would like to say thank you to all the people who said happy birthday to me esp Staci thank you so much sweetheart =)
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[28 Oct 2003|02:59pm] |
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music |
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Professional Murder Music - Does it Dream |
] |
happy birthday mom.
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[27 Oct 2003|09:29pm] |
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mood |
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fuck family |
] |
| [ |
music |
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PMM - Endless |
] |
well tonight I'm sleeping in the backyard =/
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[27 Oct 2003|04:26pm] |
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music |
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professional murder music - As It's Fading |
] |
=/
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[26 Oct 2003|09:30pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Professional Murder Music - Endless |
] |
today was bad i guess like whenever it gets close to my birthday everyone in my house seems more like an asshole to me and i get blamed for things i don't do like shit with the computer and "fucking up" my brothers shit when i don't touch his stuff i dont know i guess im just sick of it all and i just hate everyone in my house i actually try to do good for them and try to be a good kid but im still worthless to them it sucks knowing that your parents see you as shit =/ it always feels like you have no one cares when your verbally abused but i do know i have someone there for me which is a good feeling you know who you are =) but it just still sucks not having any support from your family or anything eh heh i dont know i just wish you could come down here for winter...
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[24 Oct 2003|05:53pm] |
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mood |
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eh |
] |
| [ |
music |
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nine inch nails - the fragile |
] |
she shines
in a world full of ugliness
she matters when everything is meaningless
fragile
she doesn't see her beauty
she tries to get away
sometimes
it's just that nothing seems worth saving
I can't watch her slip away
I won't let you fall apart
she reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by
hoping someone can see
if I could fix myseld I'd - but it's too late for me
I wont let you fall apart
we'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
I'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side
...but they keep waiting
...and picking...
it's something I have to do
I was there, too
before everyhting else
I was like you
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[23 Oct 2003|07:03pm] |
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mood |
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kind of pissed off |
] |
Fuck my computer
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[22 Oct 2003|05:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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eh |
] |
| [ |
music |
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As I Lay Dying - Forever |
] |
forever your eyes will hold the memory
i saw your heart as it overtook me
we tried so hard to understand and reason
but in that one moment i gave my heart away
that perfect breath where my mind lay beside me
and all i knew was what had overtaken me
with no explanation i am comforted by inability to understand
when i wake from this dream will you still be here
will your smile still open my heart and leave me transparent
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[21 Oct 2003|06:48pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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HIM - Heartache Every Moment |
] |
Today wasn't so bad I went to my classes saw some of my grades and I'm doing okay so my mom and dad shouldn't really be pissed at me. Also today is Amandas birthday day I just found out today so HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!! I also ordered two new cds haha HIM - Love Metal and HIM - Deep Shadows and Brillant Hightlights I got them off of amazon.com with my dads card but i had to still give him the money but i dont care I still get the cds.
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[20 Oct 2003|03:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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HIM - The Sacrament |
] |
Today was just another boring school day eh I got to see two of my grades for report cards and they're low Bs but I'm happy cuz that won't get me into deep shit with my parents. I got my pack of cigs today and now I'm listening to HIM and I'm about to go upstairs and play a game for now so yeah thats about it ya fuck! hahahaha =P
You know our sacred dream won't fail
The sanctuary tender and so frail
The sacrament of love
The sacrament of warmth is true
The sacrament is you
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| We're all rejects |
[19 Oct 2003|11:39am] |
| [ |
music |
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Static X - Control It |
] |
Everybody, soul and body cold
All this sickness, you lost control
You can't get it
You just don't get it, no
You can't get it
You got zero
Look within me, am I evil enough
Memories bring tears of years old
You can't get it
You just don't get it, no
You can't get it
You got zero
Life - you take it
Lies - you fake it
Suffer - within me
Torn - you break it
Life - control it
Lies - withhold it
Suffer - you're skinny
Torn - you're wasted
Kids with defects
We're all rejects, so
Don't forget it, cold inside
You can't get it
You just don't get it, no
You can't get it
You got zero
Break this take control
Take this I control it
Break this take control
Take this I control it
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[19 Oct 2003|09:55am] |
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thank you
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