RaiStarr's Journal
5 most recent posts

Date:2003-12-10 23:09
Mood: scared

If this doesn't work then it is over for me. There is nothing else.

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Date:2003-12-06 12:31
Subject:eeek! I'm sick!
Mood: sick

I'm sick again! The week of juries and my last voice lesson and singing in studio, and I am sick! I was so good about trying to protect myself and then I sat in that drafty recital hall and BAM!! That totally sucks. I have increased my fluid intake, I am taking echinacea along with my regular vitamins. I'm getting rest, being good with my time. Hopefully I can shake these symptoms soon, like today kind of soon.

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Date:2003-11-30 21:19
Subject:bad mood
Mood: irritated

I am in such a bad mood. I cant explain it. I am dreading this week of class. I am not having any luck with the finding of a job. I am finding the entire human race to be huge source of irritation. I want to beat my head with something heavy and blunt. Unconsciousness would be a gift.
Now I cant even post my journal entry about what a crap mood I am in. Bloody freakin brilliant. Damn worrisome technology. Grrrr!!!

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Date:2003-11-22 19:33
Subject:I was that guy
Mood: contemplative

I was in Wal-Mart with my mom once and in the check out line I saw this guy. He had a cart with just a little bit of food in it. All small things. The stuff that you would use to cook for one. The saddest thing though was his deli bags. 1 small bag of chicken tenders and 1 small bag of potato wedges. I got so lonely looking at his cart. Today I was that guy. The small bags of deli chicken and potatos. I wonder if the guy rushed out to his car and ate his deli treats in his small dusty car that could comfortably fit four but only ever carries one? I wonder if he carried a week's worth of groceries in to his small apartment all in one trip, without straining. I wonder if he stared around his apartment at all the impersonal functional items and fell upon his sofa and wrapped himself in the arms of sleep and dreamt gratefully of people and things?

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Date:2003-11-22 14:03
Subject:Day one

This number three for me. I think this will be the last one for me. I thought to have tons. Words everywhere but now I think that three will do. I will rotate where I write, I think so I spread the insanity around evenly. Like icing on a cake. Everyone will get a taste. That is the plan for the moment but plans change you know. Before this moment the plan was to have way more than three. It was too hard to keep up with all the bits. And I have to save my words. The novel looms large in front of me and I need to spread some words there too. A novel for Christmas - an admirable goal. A goal that reeks of instability. Just my thing. A novel for christmas. shall I write it in coal?

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