[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Wednesday, July 28th, 2004|
It's been awhile since I have had time to get online ,let alone type in my journal!
All moved in and almost settled :))))))) I'm really proud of all that I am accomplishing
slowly,but i'm doing it.It's been so long since I have taken charge but it's an easy role
for me to assume(don't know how I ever relinquished charge in the first place)
Want something done,,,,do it yourself! My new motto for me :)
I love love LOVEEEEEEE this new apartment! I should have moved years ago LOL
Oh well,,,,I am now and that's what counts.
Fouth meet with my village buddies.It went smoothly:) I almost didn't go,,,,,
Hard to feel like going when I haven't been in contact with them lately,,,,
I'm glad I went though:)
It was the most relaxing meet so far to date,,,,,
wayyyyyy too much flashing of my butt on the last day though LOL geeez
next meet I think i'll make certain that I don't show skin! hahahaha
Mels here now so i'll log off till laters,,,,,,, Current Mood: accomplished
|Thursday, April 22nd, 2004|
What a beautiful day it is !It's simply amazing how just having the sun shine changes your outlook on things:)
The countdown is on..less than 10 days now!! woooohooooo.....This is my last weekend before having my own place! Yesssss!!!Now that is fantastic! I keep shopping looking for things I /we will need but I haven't bought much yet....it's not like i can just leave the stuff lying around,He still doesn't know I have signed for a place LOL I keep thinking scenarios in my head on how and when to tell him...I hope it goes as smoothly as it does in my practice sessions...probably not but....i'll be prepared either way.I won't give too much info untill I deem necessary.He has 3 options...1 .move in with mommy and daddy and get his life on track (bills)
2 . Stay with me for the summer only..and let me help him get his bills
paid one by one...I do consider myself experienced in tacking them
one by one.I'm damn proud of this .
3 . Move out on his own and sink or swim....now with that said.i'll go over his options with him and see what he chooses.....hmmmm.....
I'm not sure when ill go over this with him...incase he's an ass about it all....I need the van taken care of and i'm making that a priority. Current Mood: happyCurrent Music: Soak up the Sun/Sheryl Crow
|Monday, April 12th, 2004|
April 12, :) It's almost May 1st! Moving day!!!!! Kinda sorta......
I can't wait and I'm nervous about it all at the same time!!
Hard to believe that something i've wanted for so long is just within reach!
I hope i'm doing the right thing by my boys:)The park days have officially begun
also.Summer!!! Woooohoooooo .....A pool and water slides *grin* I hope we can go camping a couple of
times this year! Boys ...mommy wants to do alot outdoors and I hope your up for it! hehe
My first thing i'm going to do is take a long hot bath and a shower...with the door open to the bathroom!
Haaaaa lol imagine that!!! Then i'm going to enjoy walking around my apartment naked! Afterwards....enjoy a coffee or a glass of wine enjoying my view!!! Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!
side note: work fucking sucks *growlllll* relax Rainy:) Don't go quitting while you have so much coming up...you can do this! I will....I will.....I will........ Current Mood: cheerful
|Thursday, April 1st, 2004|
seems I have more to add lately....
Well my stupidity is costing me some big $$ :(((
I hope I can do something to fix it....tomorrow will tell.
I'm getting really fucking pissed with situations out of my control:( Current Mood: blah
I had to add this for a good laugh whenever I feel like it!
He actually applied for a fucking credit card!!!!LMFAO
I know he's not this stupid! Please tell me he's not!
The proof is in the denial slip that appropriately came on April Fools Day!!
This is a classic! Still lmfao.....
April 1st .....It's been awhile since i've written in here!
I finally got the ok for that apartment! I'm surprised at how nervous it is making me!
I knew i'd be happy ,and I know i'm doing the right thing but.....
I am nervous about how things will go after the move....
Will he be an ass?
Will he put the kids first?
Should I have waited another year to protect myself (financially) from the repercussions he
has the ability to create?
Last night tells me i'm doing the right thing,and he needs me to leave almost more than I do.
signed,sealed and ready for the future:)
I'm doing so fantastic financially with saving and paying everything that needs to be paid!It feels wonderful!
The car dealership called and they will make arrangements with me about the van!! yayyyy that takes a load off my mind! Current Mood: determined
|Monday, March 15th, 2004|
I have to work in less than an hour....still feeling sick:( but much better than I was yesterday.Thank god for that! Yesterday was a Jst kill me Now day:(((
So far no word on that apartment......I hate waiting!!
Well let's hope no news=good news.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
I soooo want/need this:) Current Mood: blah
|Wednesday, March 10th, 2004|
Just waiting for the phone to ring! ringgggg damnit! ring!!!
I want that apartment!!!!! I think I love exlamation points lol
Just thinking about getting the apartment makes my heart pound!
Took the boys for their Dr.s apointment.It was a good check up.
Both are healthy ,strong,boys that she predicts are going to be really tall!
woooohoooooooo:)))))))))) Current Mood: cheerful
|Monday, March 8th, 2004|
Today is the day! Finally I go and make the application for that apartment!
weeeeee!!!! I hope the lady gets back to me with the ok much faster than she has been with our meet!
It's gonna feel so awesome to finally sign for...and have a lease! May ,I think will be my favorite month from now on! hehe .My g/f is awesome also! She is giving or( selling me cheap) a lot of stuff! Yesssss it'll help me so much!I love her little kitchen set *grin* and anything else she wants to leave behind......
Everyday he confirms that I am doing the right thing,with actions as well as words.....he's truly a fool,and a lazy ass too.grrrrr Work an eleven hour shift and have to come home to the fucking mess I did....grrrrrr asshole!Well I will have peace and tranquility one of these days.......someday(May) *huge huge grin* !! Current Mood: optimistic
|Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004|
Well the woman (for the apartment ) called!!!!! Woooooohoooooo!!
Tomorrow looks like the day to go fill out the application!! I am soooooo
excited!!!!!OMG May is just around the corner!!!! This will end the last three years
of crap i've had to endure! Fuck you Mr.!! Yeah....you ,with your controlling ways,
Mr.I'm the one that is always being wronged,nothing is my fault,look at me i'm pathetic and need
a kick in the ass to get anything done. Well do what you like with your life now Mr.....I don't give a shit! Other than I really would love to see you grow up,become an adult finally after 38 years,become someone that our sons can learn from....I know your smart,deep down a good person,just start living one day and you will see....closing your eyes to things just makes them increase...won't you ever realize that?I've tried to help you stand up on your own two feet but you keep digging the same holes and trying to bury me in there with you.....goal for the future for me......to become your friend....I hope it happens. Current Mood: anxious
|Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004|
My day off(from work that is) It's so much fun to sit back,relax,look around you...and then see what a huge fucking mess there is to deal with(uhuh sarcasm) Even more fun when the landlord knocks on the door asking if he can show the apartment because he is selling the building!The bathroom leaks everywhere*sigh* I'm so tired of living like this.Sometimes I don't even want to wake up..My boys make everything better:)))))))))
Now if only that lady would call back so I could apply for that apartment and get out of this shithole i'm in now.Had you told me five years ago I would be living these circumstances,I would have laughed in your face...I'm not laughing now...... Current Mood: discontent
|Monday, March 1st, 2004|
Mondays are so hard to get organized! This week my "big boy" :) is home from school.
I want to do tons of things this week so i'll make this quick and maybe get a little incentive from it!
Hmmmm first stop ..the bank.I want to make sure my overdraft is high since my rent will no longer be shared
kids are screaming and getting bored LOL guess this means i will finish this later! Current Mood: energetic
|Friday, February 27th, 2004|
I can't believe he let the bills (that he pays) climb so fucking high again!
Fucking asshole will never ever learn:( There goes my hopes of my boys having a rolemodel type of a father
He will be so shocked when I leave this place.Please please pleaseeee get that apartment!(my own prayer for me ) lol.
On the up side,the sun is shining and it looks to be sunny all week!
Spring break officially starts as of 3:30 today!!
I hope the weather lets us do a couple of things outside.
Breaking the pattern of procrastination feels really awesome!
Go Rainy go!!!!
Current Mood: flabergasted
Current Music: Leaving on a Jet Plane...
|Thursday, February 26th, 2004|
I think i finally validated my account LOL geeez...
I haven't had a diary in years! Hopefully this will be a fun experience for me ...
I'd like to be able to look back on my days (in the future) and smile knowing I did all
that I set out to accomplish this year.With that thought,i'll begin....
Yesterday I went to look at apartments! One is available for May 1st..
I loved it and hope I get it.It's a cute 3 1/2 on the eigth floor with a beautiiful view....
Moving day will truly be the start of my new beginning! I can't wait for that,,untill then
I'll just be going through the motions... Current Mood: optimistic