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Monday, December 1st, 2003
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11:13 am - holiday weekend....
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well.. it's supposed to be thanksgiving... but my parents are at the bottom of my list. anyway, i didn't talk to my mom for 2 days. she got all anal during thanksgiving for some reason... i dunno.. something stupid. i just didn't care. larry, angelo, and kyle came over saturday night. we were all just chillin in my room till anout 1:30am.. 2am or so.. and my dad decided to flush them out but turning off the power upstairs. MOTHERFUCKER. i was so embarrassed. turns out kyle is going through something similar. lawrence and angelo.. well they've gone through ish as well. just pissed me off. i was pretty close to bookin it to vallejo had he locked me out like what happened after alice's party. i swear... i need to move out sometime soon before i KILL somebody. oh well. other than that i've been surrounded by good vibes. well... most good and some bad... but i'm ok.
current mood:  calm
current music: "Church" by Big Boi (Outkast)
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| Friday, November 21st, 2003
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9:17 am - final goodbye...
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friggin Pierrie already got married this past weekend. CONGRATULATIONS FOO!!
anyway, the memorial service last night was ok. it was crazy coz we were looking for a parking place, and we were surrounded by tombstones. this is NOT the place i wanna get lost in! we missed a little bit of the service, but we made it for the eulogies. i have to say, airene, nicole, and even jackie did really well last night. airene came up first. her voice was trembling and finally halfway through her message the tears came out. nicole came next, even though it was a little obvious she didn't want to come up. jackie came afterwards, and she was crying the whole way. couldn't understand what she was saying, but i'm proud of her for standing there infront of people and reading this for her lolo. after the service i we came by and gave them hugs. didn't really have any comforting words, but i just told them they did good, and that i'm proud of them and i'm sure their lolo is too. told them i love them and just gave them a fat hug. the mood was a little lighter after the service. the viewing was still going on for another 45 minutes after the service, and the girls were the last ones by tata benny's side before they closed the place. as we were walking away, nicole was catching up with their cousin richard (who took a 10 hour bus ride from ventura) and airene and jackie stood outside the chapel doors watching the men in charge close the casket for the last time. we went to their house afterwards, had some dinner, and shared a few laughs. they're stoked for this saturday's meet and i wish them luck. after we got home, saw rj, and we talked a little bit...
RJ: how was it?
ME: oh it was cool... we had a dj and everything..
RJ: what?! REALLY?!
ME: no, suquewede... how the heck are you gonna have a dj at a memorial service?!
RJ: ew.. bitch... you know how gullible i am. but when i pass away, i want you guys to get a dj for me...
ME: yeah.. whatever.. hehe...
lastly, i pray for a safe trip for auntie dada and her mom to the pi.
current mood: calm
current music: "In My Life" by Bette Midler (originally The Beatles)
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| Wednesday, November 19th, 2003
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9:06 pm - sittin here...
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well.. been a tough week for the tombocs. it hasn't been too bad for me... i'm just worrying too much. my friend/co-worker stan's friend passed away this week too, and his dad's back in the hospital. and then i haven't seen bernette all week, she had a miscarriage recently. so i mean... yeah... i'm not really affected directly, per se, but i'm worried about my friends. that's all. jim finally left for canada. damn. been bitching too much about going there. "it's your guys' fault because it was installed 3 weeks ago". well fucker, it was working when we released it, it was working when it got there, it was working for three weeks. still think it's our fault?! stupid ass motherfucker. for 2 days he didnt stop bitching about it. and then when he was about to leave he's sittin there looking for his damn paperwork. gosh. don't complain to me, fuckface. geez. anyway, memorial service tomorrow. i'm thinking about airene and nicole too. i don't wanna just come up and ask, "how you doing?" or "are you ok?"... they probably get asked that 50 times a day, and i'm sure if i was in their shoes, i'd be sick of it. i know when it's like when you try to move on but people keep asking, "are you ok?". so i just sit back, and spring into action if they need a hug. or a shoulder to cry on. i know things have been tough on both of them, but they have a good support group and they'll pull though. they're in my thoughts all day. so airene, if you're reading this, just know that your family is in my thoughts and prayers. looks like i might have to cancel the pasasalamat performance. not too many people comming, at least not the number we need. i gotta explain this to uncle josh, pastor fel, auntie marcia, and of course the people who are incharge when i get there. *sigh* have i outlived my usefullness? man, it's just been a tough year and people flaking is not making it easier. i know people have their commitments, and i know who's still loyal to the group. but it just seems like that number's shrinking. feels like that game we played against olop when we got creamed by 30. everyone just kinda did their own thing. we'd get one pass, IF we pass, and then someone tries to be the hero and clank it. *sigh*. sometimes i feel like, "well nobody's there, so EF it." but then i really think about it and i realize i just care too much for the group to just EF it. even if it seems like most people are bailing out. the only thing that kept me from applying for that job in chi-town was my youth group, because i didnt want to leave them. it seems like now most of them have left me. i gotta talk to auntie marcia about the age thing. probably take effect next year already. all i know is, i just hope that everyone's doing well. maybe i do need to think of myself for a while. take more trips. but then something usually goes wrong when i'm gone and i'd kick myself for leaving in the first place. man. just been a frustrating FRUSTRATING year. i'm surviving... just blowin off some steam i guess. keep ballin. play. take out my frustrations on the poor sap who'll be guarding me.
current mood:  drained
current music: "Alright" by Superchic[k]
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| Tuesday, November 18th, 2003
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9:32 am - rawr...
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9:23 am - "uh... pea... tear... griffin... my name's PETER GRIFFIN... oh crap..."
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8:39 am - 11/18/03...
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ABIDE IN ME
_________________________
John 15:1-11 (NRSV)
[Jesus said,] "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He
removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that
bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already
been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me as I
abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it
abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the
vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear
much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not
abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches
are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me,
and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be
done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit
and become my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved
you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in
my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his
love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you,
and that your joy may be complete."
_________________________
Jesus said, "Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit,
because apart from me you can do nothing."
- John 15:5 (NRSV)
_________________________
A friend of mine is a chaplain in a hospital. Recently I volunteered
to help with visiting his patients. For the past 25 years I have
struggled with a critical illness, and I felt that I was well
qualified to minister to the sick. Armed with favorite prayers, Bible
stories, personal experiences, and methods of encouragement, I set out
on my visits.
Over the weeks, the weight of human need and misery began to burden my
soul. I found myself faltering in the face of unrelenting illness and
personal tragedy. When four patients died in one week, I knew I was
in need of spiritual guidance.
After careful prayer and self-examination, I realized that my
responsibility is to represent Christ to my patients. He offers
strength to cope with adversity, answers to problems, and power to
persevere. Rather than abiding in Christ, I was trying to rely on my
own power and abilities. Instead of focusing on my own resources to
live and to be victorious in adversity, I must place emphasis on
Christ and the sufficiency of grace. Christ is the source of
life-changing strength and hope.
Prayer: Dear God, forgive us when we leave Christ behind. Amen.
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| Monday, November 17th, 2003
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9:03 am - beautiful day...
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yesterdays was one of the better sundays i've had in a while. don't get me wrong, i still miss the people who couldnt make it (well, the people who CHOSE not to go have their own reasons, but they can kick rocks). anywho, the days started and ended with me, rj, and raisa trading jokes with our parents. can you imagine? hey, if ah-nuld can be gov, i guess anything's possible.. . anyway, had a couple of quotables from yesterday from my momma....
"mangbuntis ka na nga para meron na 'kong apo!! pero apo lang ha.... 'wag mo nang isama yung babae."
rough translation: "go get someone pregnant so i can get a grandkid (she'd prefer a granddaughter). but i just want the baby, i don't want an inlaw."
as if i wasn't embarassed enough, she continued, "yeah, i'm sure you can find someone." and i'm thinking, "yup, seems like everyone's got lowered standards these days..."
so off we go to church. i had wanted to go to the service since there was no vesper, but rosey wasn't there and so i figured it would be tougher to leave matt and roch alone with the kids. good thing auntie marcia came. so i missed the service. pastor fel shaved!! he looked like a 16-year old up there... lol.
after the service we had a good meeting, and i'll probably share it with you as soon as i spray the email. gotta figure out how we're going to work saturday. i had thought that everyone will be there so we could practice what we were gonna do for pasasalamat, but due to the unusual sched, we didnt have too many people to practice with. dagnabbit. and it's THIS saturday, we rewrote the script, and due to the lack of participation it looks like we'll have to rework the whole structure of it too. dagnabbit!! anyway, we all headed out to the Spiritual Image concert in hayward at around 5ish. got there about 10 minutes before the SCHEDULED start. but i guess we were all on Filipino ?Time, and so the thing started... what... half an hour..?.... late.
the performances were cool. i really enjoyed them. i just didn't appreciate certain folkers goof in off during the national anthem. c'mon guys. funny how the people i have to BABYSIT in the youth group are the ones who are OVER 18. we'll duscuss this later. thought people would know better but i guess i'mma have to educate them too. GAH. raisa and i were talking about it later, how because we were in choir and we've been to competitions, we know the proper etiquette on how to behave in these things. specially since she and i had the same jr high choir director, Mr. Lotze. the thing is, rj was educated by Mr. Lotze too but i'm not sure he retained the info. GAH!!
anyway, ANIMAE, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T GO? KRISSIE WAS OFF THE HOOK!! i really enjoyed watching her, celisse, and errlene. and alan. they all looked like they were REALLY into it. and if you love what you're doing, the audience will feed off your energy and love it too. afterwards we all split to eat. we were all supposed to meet at Jolibee, but antennah had to get home. so rice, mia, and mcnutty stayed in san jo (milpitas actually) and me, jake, roch, airam, and rj went to jolibee and later on we saw the andres's and the cepe's there. man... it was HILARIOUS!! poor roch, she was the butt of some of the jokes the flew around.... but it's coz WE MISS YOU!! HO! LL. let's just say there were many times when i almost choked coz i was laughing so hard. jake couldnt breathe. airam... was just straight embarassed...LL . he's on the phone and rochelle (beside him) goes, "is that a private conversation?" like all loud and stuff. HAHAHA. i swear, she reminds me of Dory from "Finding Nemo" sometimes. actually, i know a few people who remind me of Dory. LL. anyway, good times.
we got home, cleaned up a little, and then off to bed. it was a beautiful day.
i haven't been leaving eProps for people, so i'mma try to do that more this week. pizeace yo.
current mood:  cheerful
current music: "Cold War Transmissions" by Anberlin
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| Sunday, November 16th, 2003
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12:49 am - jennifer...
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well... i talked glibs about Jennifer.. but i've never really told y'all who she is. i'm just going to go off right now and take it straight from the heart, and if at the end of this i read over it and it's a bit too personal, then i guess i'm writing this for myself. otherwise... well, here goes...
jennifer and i met about 6 years ago... 6 years..? man. crazy. i met her during my senior year in high school. she was a freshman. so i was 18, she was 15. i had come off a very tough breakup with christina a few months back. and my venture back into the wacky world of relationships didn't quite work out after that. i hooked up with kristy. she was my rebound girl, and for that, i trully am sorry for using her like that. to this day i still can't look her straight in the eye, i'm so embarassed for being such a prick. we lasted 2 weeks. after that... well, just kinda bounced off one girl after the next. lajean, vicky, ally... i can't remember them all, but more or less i think that was it. then came jennifer. she changed everything. she was different from everyone else, and i HAD to have her. HAD TO. we went to disneyland with the youth group, fun times. that was when i went all out with the flirting, signals and stuff. and we clicked. we were involved, talking, whatever you wanna call it, shortly after the disneyland trip. like i said, she was different than everyone else. the way we talked, the way we clicked, just everything seemed to fall into place. seemed like everything was right. everything except me, as it turned out.
i don't exactly know what happened. why i told her we can't see each other anymore. maybe it was coz i was a senior and she was a freshman. maybe it was coz i didn't want this to be another "kristy" affair. i cared about her too much. maybe i was just scared to get back into a relationship. i had poured everything i had, everything i was, into my relationship with christina. and to have everything fall apart like that...
so i started backing off. poor jen. she didnt know what was going on. but like i said, she was different than most girls, and she confronted me about it. she told me she needed to talked to me as i passed by her during school. so after school, i did. she asked me where this was going, and what the heck was going on. i told her that i'm not ready for another relationship. we talked before our youth meeting started (which was on wednesdays). after that, we went to the meeting like nothing happened. she'd tell me years later that she cried that night. so that was that.
a few years later, about 3 years ago for a rough estimation, we hooked up again. i was fresh off my breakup with jean (aka Fatty Girl), she's with Travis whom she was with for a while (they would be together for more than 3 years). she stopped kickin it with our group of friends, and so i started hanging out with her exclusively. i guess it was a bit of mixed signals coz she would ask me some time later if i still have feelings for her (travis was starting to bug out). so i did something that i felt was the right thing to do at the time, I LIED. told her i didn't feel that way about her anymore. BULLSHIT. the next time i see her was within the same year, she had just broken up with travis a couple of weeks before, and i take her out to dinner. we hang out. we rented a movie. she asks me, "is it cold in here or is it just me?" and being an idiot that i was, i said, "you're trippin, there's a blanket right there." IDIOT!! we lost contact shortly after that until....
well, she moved out, and i lost track of her. with all my bestfriends in victorville married, i had no reason to come there as much as i'd have come in the past. i'm more involved in the youth group, and i invest most of my time for the group. i always believed that if God willed it, our paths would cross again. a few weeks ago, God willed it. she looked me up and called me. we talked, about old times, caught up, the basic stuff.
i guess jen's a big reason why i tried so hard with my unicorn. both of them had a bunch in common, including the way we just CLICKED. the chemistry we had. how they grew up (jen growing up with just a dad, without a mom, she's in the east coast, and the unicorn growing up with just her father and a brother). a lot of intagible things that are hard to describe. don't get me wrong, i'm not taking away from the unicorn, she's an amazing person. but i was just so afraid of duplicating my errors, and so that was why i tried so hard with the unicorn. i have very few regrets in my life, and letting jennifer go was one of them.
so now, she's back in my life. where do we go? what do we do? i think i'll leave this up to God. He's gotten me this far, no reason to take the controls back. just take it one step at a time, and start back an one.
current mood:  giddy
current music: "Breathless" by The Corrs
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| Friday, November 14th, 2003
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4:41 pm - woohoo....
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HEY FATTY KID [4:16 PM]: hey kuyas. .it's a boy. ..
tight!! a boy.... hmm... i wonder what they're gonna name him...
current mood: cheerful
current music: "Water's Edge" by The Procussions
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4:03 pm - animae
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AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:51 AM]: hey RON
KooYeahRoN [10:52 AM]: hey anne
KooYeahRoN [10:52 AM]: how's it goin?
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:52 AM]: doing ok heh.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:52 AM]: pray for me k? I have an interview at HOT TOPIC later on.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:52 AM]: hopefully the pay is better.
KooYeahRoN [10:52 AM]: o i c
KooYeahRoN [10:52 AM]: no kids though
KooYeahRoN [10:52 AM]: but i'll pray for you
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:53 AM]: haha i know.
KooYeahRoN [10:53 AM]: :-D
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:53 AM]: how's work?
KooYeahRoN [10:53 AM]: easy
KooYeahRoN [10:53 AM]: hehe
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:53 AM]: haha that's good.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:54 AM]: what do u think? should i dress up or down for the interview?
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:54 AM]: i'm stuck on that issue.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:54 AM]: :-\
KooYeahRoN [10:54 AM]: it's hot topic
KooYeahRoN [10:54 AM]: just be yourself
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:54 AM]: haha omg that's what my other friend said
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:54 AM]: exact words.
KooYeahRoN [10:55 AM]: hehe
KooYeahRoN [10:55 AM]: i think you'll fit right in
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:55 AM]: LOL freekn abigail was all.. it should be easy for you.. you were like born there.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:55 AM]: i was like :-!
KooYeahRoN [10:55 AM]: HAHA
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:55 AM]: do u remember what i wore on sunday?
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:56 AM]: I thought about wearing that for the interview.. but im not sure still. if that'd be ok.
KooYeahRoN [10:56 AM]: hmm
KooYeahRoN [10:56 AM]: well wear something semi-nice
KooYeahRoN [10:56 AM]: i guess
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:56 AM]: it was jeans.. a purpleish lavender top with black boots and black belt.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:56 AM]: yeah i know.
KooYeahRoN [10:57 AM]: hol.. up... brb
AppleJuiceKiss1n [10:57 AM]: k
Auto response from KooYeahRoN [10:57 AM]: Jesus said, "A new command I give you: Love one another.? As I have loved you, so you must love one another."
- John 13:34 (NIV)
KooYeahRoN [11:01 AM]: *sigh* ok
KooYeahRoN [11:02 AM]: i had some vacation hours missing
KooYeahRoN [11:02 AM]: i talked to the HR lady and she showed me that one of the days i filed sick was debited into my vacation hours
KooYeahRoN [11:03 AM]: i'm down to 1 sick day... haha
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:03 AM]: oh man hehe
KooYeahRoN [11:03 AM]: i gotta save that for when i'm ACTUALLY sick
KooYeahRoN [11:03 AM]: i think you can wear the same thing from sunday.. but wear black pants
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:04 AM]: i don't have any black pants.. onlee really dress up ones u kno?
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:04 AM]: :-\
KooYeahRoN [11:04 AM]: hm... try those.. see if it works
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:04 AM]: yeah if not.. u think what i wore already is ok?
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:05 AM]: i'm really ahhhh!! haha about this whole thing.
KooYeahRoN [11:05 AM]: yeah... should be fine... i mean... i see the people in hot topic and i doubt the manager would bug out about it
KooYeahRoN [11:06 AM]: if you know anyone who works there or worked there... your best bet would be to ask them
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:07 AM]: yeah I know.. haha see also i'm sorta scurred cuz this time I don't know anyone at all.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:07 AM]: haha. with the other ones.. i mean i knew at least one person.
KooYeahRoN [11:07 AM]: o i c
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:08 AM]: yeah. i'm scared!!!
KooYeahRoN [11:08 AM]: you'll be fine
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:09 AM]: yeah it's time i try and be on my own for once.. huh?
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:09 AM]: damn life is scary.. forreal.
KooYeahRoN [11:09 AM]: yup...
KooYeahRoN [11:09 AM]: but hey... we survive
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:09 AM]: dude if my mom were gone. i'd seriously be lost.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:09 AM]: completely.
KooYeahRoN [11:10 AM]: we may not be always riding high but considering what we've been through... we're doing not too shabby
KooYeahRoN [11:10 AM]: true... but she won't be around forever
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:10 AM]: yeah ur right.
KooYeahRoN [11:10 AM]: not tryin to bring an omen on y'all... but it's really time to start thinking about the future
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:10 AM]: we've done ok so far.. we should be ok.
KooYeahRoN [11:10 AM]: yeah
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:10 AM]: god never gives us more than we can handle.
KooYeahRoN [11:10 AM]: true
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:10 AM]: i always repeat that.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:11 AM]: and the other one.. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:11 AM]: i feel like everyone is gonna get married before me.
KooYeahRoN [11:11 AM]: HAHA
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:11 AM]: i dunno just a thought.
KooYeahRoN [11:11 AM]: who said getting married was a good thing?
KooYeahRoN [11:11 AM]: LOL
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:11 AM]: haha right!
KooYeahRoN [11:12 AM]: s'all good.... just think about it this way... the longer it takes the more you'll appreciate him when he gets here
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:12 AM]: good insight ron.. thanks. :-)
KooYeahRoN [11:13 AM]: yeah well... pondering life's intricacies have been a habit everytime i leave the gameboy at home
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:13 AM]: yeah true.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:14 AM]: i think a lot about life nowadays.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:14 AM]: like if what i ever do is right or wrong.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:14 AM]: should i be doing this? i dunno.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:14 AM]: stuff like that.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:14 AM]: i question almost everything i do now.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:14 AM]: weird.
KooYeahRoN [11:14 AM]: well the thing is...
KooYeahRoN [11:15 AM]: there's no absolute truth in what we do
KooYeahRoN [11:15 AM]: we have some basic intructions from God, but it's up to us to interpret it
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:15 AM]: true.
KooYeahRoN [11:15 AM]: you try to stay true to the morals and values you grow up with and just walk the path of life one foot at a time
KooYeahRoN [11:16 AM]: really can't go anywhere unless you take a step
KooYeahRoN [11:16 AM]: can't win the lottery if you don't buy the ticket
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:16 AM]: yeah ur right.
KooYeahRoN [11:16 AM]: buying a ticket doesnt guarantee the prize... but you got a better chance winning if you have one
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:16 AM]: wow.. that's true.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:17 AM]: damn haha good really good analogies.
KooYeahRoN [11:17 AM]: yup.... LOTS of free time at work sometimes... LOL
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:17 AM]: naw ur insight and advice truly ROCKS ron.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:17 AM]: you have a gift.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:17 AM]: i wish i had something i could give you like that. but i can't.. cuz i don't know how.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:18 AM]: but i feel blessed. BECAUSE OF YOU.
KooYeahRoN [11:18 AM]: i only give what i get
KooYeahRoN [11:18 AM]: whatever it is i dish out... i got some of it from someone else
KooYeahRoN [11:19 AM]: so i mean... as much as i wanna hog the credit for this... i really gotta give it up to everyone else who came before
KooYeahRoN [11:19 AM]: and those who came before them
KooYeahRoN [11:19 AM]: you've got a lot to offer because of your experiences
KooYeahRoN [11:19 AM]: it's just finding the right time to share those experiences
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:20 AM]: yea but most my life experiences are just lessons learned. unfortunate.
KooYeahRoN [11:20 AM]: i know that just by having faith in me you've given me alot
KooYeahRoN [11:20 AM]: true... but lessons nonetheless
KooYeahRoN [11:20 AM]: i'm not going to live long enough to make every single mistake out there... so i learn from other people's as much as i learn by myself
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:21 AM]: yeah ur right.
KooYeahRoN [11:21 AM]: cant fix anything not broken... and until it's broken... we're not going to know how to fix it
KooYeahRoN [11:22 AM]: so thank God that our circumstances have been broken at times... coz obviously... being here... sharing these things with you... i've managed to learn a few things along the way through these experiences
KooYeahRoN [11:23 AM]: you give back in your own way... can't try to be me or abigail... just like i can't try to be auntie marcia or pastor fel... i'm just me... and you're just you... and that's enough to get by
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:23 AM]: yeah ur right.
KooYeahRoN [11:23 AM]: dang... it's like i got hit with a "smart stick" this morning... haha... where's this stuff comming from?
KooYeahRoN [11:23 AM]: LOL
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:24 AM]: damn ron.. i just love our conversations forreal.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:24 AM]: haha no way.. ur smart ron!
KooYeahRoN [11:24 AM]: i know... i learn from you too
KooYeahRoN [11:24 AM]: just the way that you deal with situations and stuff
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:24 AM]: i know huh? heh.
KooYeahRoN [11:25 AM]: given how much you've sustained... a lot of people would've given up... but hey... you're still here... and that's serving as an inspiration to the rest of us
KooYeahRoN [11:25 AM]: "if animae can do it... i can too"
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:26 AM]: LOL i know huh.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:26 AM]: i always imagine tho.. there's nothing I CAN'T DO.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:26 AM]: i'm like superwoman haha
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:26 AM]: wait WONDERWOMAN haha i like her better,
KooYeahRoN [11:26 AM]: exactly!!
KooYeahRoN [11:26 AM]: LOL
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:26 AM]: yup. but i know Ron ur a natural superman. ;-)
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:26 AM]: no joke.
KooYeahRoN [11:27 AM]: haha
KooYeahRoN [11:27 AM]: thanks
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:27 AM]: ur like my YODA. in real human male form.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:28 AM]: its awesome.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:28 AM]: or like my oracle for advice.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:28 AM]: my fountain of knowledge haha.
KooYeahRoN [11:28 AM]: hahaha... thanks yo
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:28 AM]: no prob.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:29 AM]: like if were to touch you.. i'd like become anew haha.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:29 AM]: I were*
KooYeahRoN [11:31 AM]: hahaha
KooYeahRoN [11:31 AM]: how are things with you? aside from the job thing
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:32 AM]: eh haha things ALWAYS could be better haha.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:32 AM]: but what else is new haha.
KooYeahRoN [11:32 AM]: eh.. true...
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:32 AM]: how about you?
KooYeahRoN [11:33 AM]: i'm ahite
KooYeahRoN [11:33 AM]: starting to feel a little better
KooYeahRoN [11:33 AM]: gotta feel better... i gotta cheer everybody else up
KooYeahRoN [11:34 AM]: haha
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:34 AM]: what's wrong?
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:34 AM]: or what happened? if u don't mind me asking.
KooYeahRoN [11:35 AM]: just.... everything lately... i guess... you know? starts to bog you down sometimes
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:35 AM]: yeah i know how that is.
KooYeahRoN [11:37 AM]: so i mean... you share with everyone else's burdens and then you get hit with your own and it saps the life outta you
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:38 AM]: yeah it sux.
KooYeahRoN [11:38 AM]: but you know... give me a couple of days with a basketball and a procussions cd and i'll be ok
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:38 AM]: you help others when u actually need help urself :-\that's the story of my life. :-!
KooYeahRoN [11:38 AM]: it's true... but then everyone's got their ish to deal with too
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:39 AM]: yeah.
KooYeahRoN [11:41 AM]: but then... the people who guide me... they have their own ish and yet they still take the time to pull me under their wing and educate me in life so if they can do it... why not me?
KooYeahRoN [11:41 AM]: yanno?
KooYeahRoN [11:41 AM]: "i'm blessed, so why not be a blessing?"
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:42 AM]: true hehe
KooYeahRoN [11:43 AM]: well i gotta get going and do some damage so i'm not a complete waste of a paycheck..
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:43 AM]: my sister is having a boy!!!
KooYeahRoN [11:43 AM]: sweet!!
KooYeahRoN [11:43 AM]: they think of a name yet?
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:43 AM]: nuh not yet.
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:44 AM]: haha but yeah she just called me cuz she got the ultrasound haha.
KooYeahRoN [11:45 AM]: cool
KooYeahRoN [11:45 AM]: ok... i gotta boogie... talk to u later..
KooYeahRoN [11:45 AM]: good luck
KooYeahRoN [11:45 AM]: muah
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:45 AM]: thanks
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:45 AM]: take care
AppleJuiceKiss1n [11:45 AM]: BIG MUAH!
thank God for friends...
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| Tuesday, November 11th, 2003
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7:23 pm - ballin...
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i had this dream... daydream actually... (yeah i was bored at work) that i was playin ball. again it felt like i was making shots, dribble left, J. dribble right, J. swish swish. rippin the net and strokin the goose neck. fake left, turn around right, J. lean right, crossover left, fallaway J. sploosh sploosh. crossover right, into the lane, finger roll. steal, fast break, take off from the freethrow line, finger roll. start from the left baseline, dribble right into the lane, baby hook. sploosh sploosh. but despite all this, my team's still losing. i pass, behind the back to my open man, clank. i drive in, take 3 defenders with me, pass behind my head to my open man in the corner, clank. drive along the baseline, feeds the cutter, CLANK. what the heck?! so i kept firing. kept shooting. till my wrists began to hurt. till my legs got numb. till my knees began to swell. slowly, my stroke fails me. slowly, the shots are shorter. or off to the right. or off to the left. and i began to get even more frustrated. with the game winding down and my team behind, i began to take matters into my own hands (like i haven't been doing that..?). but i can't summon any more magic. i'm out. spent. but i kept driving. i run into 3 guys and feel a pop in my shoulder. i jump inbetween 2 guys and land awkwardly rolling my ankle. WHY THE HECK WAS I DAYDREAMIN ABOUT LOSING?!?!
current mood:  confused
current music: "Battle Without Honor Or Humanity" by Tomoyasu Hotei
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| Monday, November 10th, 2003
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10:08 pm - vampire..?...
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You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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4:56 pm - bernette...
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just found out B had a miscarriage...
last friday we were working on her stuff for the trade show in canada. she took off during my lunch break coz she said she has a doc's appointment. she's been bleeding, and so she just wanted to check just in case. she didnt think a big deal of it, even said she'll be back before the day's out. she never came back that day. so i was worried.
this morning i asked her how it went, and she told me. i didn't know what to say. before i left on my lunch break i went to her cube to talk to her. found out how her day unfolded. she was really excited getting to the doctor's office, expecting the baby to have grown since her last checkup. turns out the babe's heart stopped beating approximately a week back. she told me how she came back to work, but stayed in the parking lot while leon (her husband) talked to her boss. she was crying uncontrollably. during the weekend she had to attend a kid's bday party too. man.
so at the end of our convo, i gave her a hug. told her how sorry i felt. we joked a little. i passed by her a couple of hours later and she told me to smile. i'll smile for you, B...
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11:16 am - Bring it on...
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it seems like this year's been really tough. on everyone. to start the year auntie marcia hosted a THIRD funeral in 12 months. the loss of nana marcia was a bit more personal to me. i still remember that day. i was at jr's party, and all of a sudden everyone was on their way to the hospital. i didnt know what to say. i couldn't bear to look at her like this. up next was the beginning of a very tough trial for the youth group. this whole debacle with chris. i didnt exactly help things but ended up escalating them. i got hurt once, i want to be ready for next time, i thought. in the process i've let it cloud my judgement and have hurt those who are close to me. on the flip side i got to see who will stand by me when the chips are down. i'm sorry that we all had to go thru this to find out. in between i dealt with a shaky leadership with the youth group. combined with my own clouded judgements it signaled the beginning of the end, so to speak. not the end of the youth group, per se, but the end of the group as how i remember it. last year we were so cohesive, vibrant, active, and happy. this year it seemed like we were more or less opposite of those just stated. then this whole thing with my parents and the church. gah. of course i also had my own demons to deal with, financial repercussions of stupid decisions i had last year. airene ran away from home twice. kristina ran away from home. rj was burned by 2 different women (deja vu of my experience from last year). abigail has her trials to go through, animae has her trials to go thru, liza had her trials she went thru, the tombocs have their own trial they're going through right now. jake's feeling of detachment at times. i can see how unkind the year has been to him because of the changes in his attitude. that's just ish happening outside of the house. i still had ish to deal with at home. plenty of ish to deal with from all sides, ish i shared with everyone and ish i had on my own.
BUT THROUGH IT ALL, THROUGH EVERYTHING WE HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS YEAR, WE'RE STILL HERE. THROUGH EACH OTHER WE FOUND STRENGTH AND LOVE. THROUGH EACH OTHER WE FOUND THE REFLECTION OF GOD, AND WE ARE STILL HERE. GOD HAS SUSTAINED US THROUGH THIS CRAPPY CRAPPY YEAR, AND I KNOW THAT HE'LL BE THERE TILL THE END. SO BRING ON ALL THE PAIN, BRING ON THE SUFFERING, BECAUSE I KNOW, THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD, THAT I'LL BE HERE, WE'LL STILL BE HERE, AND WE'LL SURVIVE.
current mood: optimistic
current music: "Alright" by Superchic[k]
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| Thursday, November 6th, 2003
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11:28 pm - Ronald...
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As Ronald you have a great love of nature and the out-of-doors, and could have a desire to be in an occupation which takes you outdoors and involves you with the products of the earth. All the finer things of life and beauties of nature are an inspiration to you and you are attracted to the mysteries of nature. Difficulty in expression results in your being too positive, blunt, and candid in speech. Although you are easily offended by others, you do not show it. You crave affection and understanding, but rarely find it as others do not understand you and accuse you of being cool and aloof.
creepy how these things are fairly accurate.
courtesy of...
http://www.kabalarians.com/
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11:09 pm
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well we talked things over last night. that's the thing with me and my siblings: no matter how big a fight we get into, one hug and things are all better. no love lost. no hard feelings. we went out to dinner afterwards. JOLIBEE'S PALABOK SUCKS!! sorry, just had to put that in. had to warn people, thus, my good deed for the day. SCORE. anyway, got my PROCUSSIONS cd today. actually i got a couple. there was a bonus cd that came with it. so 2 cd's for $12. same artists, but one's a hip-hop cd and the other's a jazz album. i guess they all had a jazz background. i'm LOVING it like you won't believe. me and jazz right now are like peas and carrots. we just go together like that.
anywho. yeah, cha's right. full moon right now. everything's weird. oh man. i'm listening to their jazz album, ORfreakinGASMIC. man. anyway, sorry. just had to stop and appreciate the music. the dude on the drums is a genius. jazz drummers are off the hook. ok there i went again.
anyway. went to see REVOLUTIONS again. except this time i got in for free coz my co-worker hooked me up. after that i got to talk to jennifer. man, i'm gonna see her in a week. A WEEK!!! whoo whee i can't wait. i miss her.
well, i gots to get going, but i have a couple of lines i'd like to share with y'all from the Procussions' song, "All That It Takes"
"I'm blessed, so why not be a BLESSING?"
"my light dims in comparison to what it's supposed to be"
ok peoples, WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH, YOUR HANDS TO THE SKY, THE ONLY WAY THAT WE FLY IS THROUGH CHRIST, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE.
current mood: cheerful
current music: "All That It Takes" by The Procussions
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| Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
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9:19 pm - More Than Fine...
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Artist: Switchfoot
Album: The Beautiful Letdown
Song: More Than Fine
When I wake in the morning
I want to blow into pieces
I want more than just okay, more than just okay
When I'm up with the sunshine
I want more than just a good time
I want more than just okay, more than just okay
I'm not givin' up, givin' up now
I'm not givin' up, not backing down
More than fine, more than bent on getting by
More than fine, more than just okay
When I'm lit with sunrise
I want more than just the blue skies
I want more than just okay, more than okay
More than oceans away from the dawn
More than oceans away from who we are
More than oceans, more than oceans,
More than fine
Christian Rock Lyrics
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7:36 pm
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ok. so this matrix thing has been planned a week ago. 4:10pm. matrix party the night before. all of a sudden we hit a snag, and we can't have it the night before. we adjust, and we deal with it. move it to wednesday AFTER we see the matrix. i got my day-off planned. see, when reloaded came out in may, my co-workers and i have planned to watch the final chapter this month when it opened. we talked about it already. IN MAY. next thing i know rj and raisa wants to see it too. alice as well. i figure, cool, blood is thicker than water. so i changed plans so i can see it with my loved ones. i bought the tix a WEEK in advance already. worked it around everyone's schedule. raisa gets out of school at 1:40, alice gets out at 12:30, rj gets out at around noonish. the only problem was, I had work till 5. so i request a day off. so it's my day off, and my folks don't really know, and i don't really care to tell them. so i head out, as usual, at around 8am. this is where everything goes DOWNHILL. i head out, get to fry's at brokaw. lawrence can't get together and everyone else is busy so i'm going to be alone. cool. it's just in the morning.... right? so i'm at fry's, i end up spending $50 that i had no intention of spending, but come on now... like it's never happened to you that you had no intention on buying anything when you walked into a store and you end up buying a whole bunch of shit you didn't need in the first place. right. anyway, me and raisa had made plans to go out to lunch after she gets out of school. after fry's i head to the tomboc's to give nicole some jamba juice. after that i go to the gym to kill some time. ended up playing some games but i kept eyeing the clock to make sure i don't miss lunch with raisa. after i get out i get some vmails about what's going down today. i called raisa, and she says she skipped class and she's going to an interview at starbuck's. o...k. fine. whatever. i was ready to meet up with her the time that we agreed on this morning... after she gets out of class. she told me earlier that she gets out of school at 1:40. so, naturally, i'm under the impression that i'm meeting with her AFTER 1:40. o....k. so i head out, buy some togo's and went to go look for a quiet place to eat at. rj said i should call mia and have lunch with her. can't have lunch with him since he's having lunch with his friends. that's fine. we all make time for rj but the only time we all see me, IS WHEN SHIT'S ALL FUCKED UP AND YOU NEED MY MOTHERFUCKEN ASS TO FIX IT. cool. that's just the way it is. rj for the fun stuff, ron to fix shit. that's how it's been and i guess that's how it'll always be. so i'm looking for a quiet place to camp out and eat, and i get fuckin lost. i end up in fuckin san felipe on my way to some missle testing facility that i need security clearance to be around in. i kid you now. so i three-point it outta there and the man who told me this was kind enough to tell me how to get to the freeway. i find my way out at 2:30. shit. show starts at 4:10 so i figure i'll be in line by 300. i get to the parking lot at great mall at 2:50, enough time to take a quick bite. i finish the bowl of soup and half of my togo's sandwich. i'm in line by 3pm. by 3:15, there's still no sign of anyone. by 3:35, they were letting people in. i didnt have the tickets, raisa and them would have them. fuck. i said that if they were not there by the time they were letting people in, then i'm bookin it. i call rj to take his time coz i'm gonna take off. i head out. start driving. i'm so pissed my legs go numb. a week's worth of planning, gone. i'm not mad at any specific persons, i'm just frustrated because i invested time and money on this and shit still fell apart. so i start driving. i end up in almadden expressway. i wanted to pull into a shopping area so i can finally finish my food. i pull in, and there's an almadden cinema right infront of me. who fuckin knew? so i figured, what the hell. i'll go watch the matrix just so i have something to talk about when i come back to work. i get in, i miss maybe 5 minutes of it, and the movie blows my mind. i come home, totally anti-social and nobody's home. perfect. i guess they did use the tickets. at least my money didnt go to waste. raisa gets home and we yell at each other. she storms out, drives off. this was a bad day. i don't need your pity though, i just need to be alone. finally finish my sandwich. and deal with this headache.
current mood:  aggravated
current music: "Faint" by Linkin Park
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| Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
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11:21 am - dick n jane...
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tito dick and tita jane finally rolled in last night. i was all pissed off coz i was already asleep and my dad had raisa woke me up to help unload the baggages. i usually have trouble sleeping and so when i fall asleep before midnight it's a big thing. but then they woke me up and when i got downstairs they said all the stuff was already unloaded. GRRR. i don't like to cuss, specially at the end of the day when i'm about to go to sleep, but it was flowing out last night. i didnt even get to see tita jane clearly coz:
1. i was half-asleep
2. i didn't have my glasses
3. my eyes were half-open
oh well. should be ok this week though. tita joy said she might fly in from oregon so that will be INteresting. anyway, gotta get back to work. peace.
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| Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
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12:53 am - nice and easy...
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one word to desrcibe today: LETHARGIC. airene's party was cool last night, although there was no one else there my age. it's cool though, had fun kickin it with my cousins and lennurd, and airene and nicole, and later tim and airam, and scaring the kids which didn't work out too well. it was funny watching lennurd try though . plus, got to see "jake in the box" try to hop on a treadmill going 10 mph. it's only funny till someone gets hurt... then it's HILARIOUS!! sorry coz, i knew you were in pain but i told you to take the box off first... LOL. anyway, took airam and tim home fairly early. debated if i wanted to go out with celisse and everyone tonight. i think i debated for... 30 seconds. i just wanted to chill. didn't even know where they wanted to meet for dinner, and then to bay street in emeryville for a movie? i like that place and all, but i just didn't feel the drive . sam has been talking about volunteering at sacred heart since the whole "collecting food at the grocery stores" thing was a bit more complicated than i anticipated. but yeah. today, stayed home and played video games, cleaned up the kitchen stuff. almost done. i wonder if we'll be done before i head down south in a couple of weeks. yes. i'm going south again. filed some vacation time to go see and old friend. we'll see how it goes... . i'll probably stay at church tomorrow right until vesper time. still not sure if i'm attending vesper or not... depends if my dad will bug out again. hmm. yeah. ok. just got done watching "the hulk" and i think i'm ready to retire. but first... i gotta ride the porcelain pony. yee haw!! gotta stop eating this halloween candy..............................
just one more snickers bar...
current mood:  lethargic
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