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Taylor's Journal
America's Next Top Model 2
ANTM2 is starting on I believe the 13th of January, just before the next Idol! UPN's posted the pictures of the new girls on their website, as well as the new judges. Kimora Lee Simmons and Beau Quillian are gone, but, unfortunately, that hag Janice is still around. I guess she saved Tyra's life once or something....
Here's a rundown of the contestants:
ANNA BRADFIELD, 24, a housewife from LaGrange, CA
Obviously a somewhat traditional girl, as you don't see many 24 year old housewives these days. Even fewer 24 year old housewife/models. She's certainly pretty enough, though. She lists her favourite music as gospel, describes herself as "virtuous, forgiving and encouraging", and says her life motto is to make a positive impact on everyone she comes in contact with. Hopefully she won't try to make that impact by force on the unwilling like Mizz Robin tried to do last year. Also, in their group shot, Anna looks eerily like judge Janice Dickinson. That might fare well for her, as Janice can be notoriously bitchy.
Anna Bradfield's Profile
Anna Bradfield's Photo Gallery
APRIL WILKNER, 23, an account executive from Miami Beach, FL
Hate the profile picture. It screams, "Oh, warden, I'm all lonely in this cell, can you please let li'l ol' me out for one second? I promise I won't bonk you over the head and steal your keys." Likes female pop singers (Pink, Mariah, Madonna, Beyonce, etc.), and says her favourite food is "Soy sauce mixed with raw egg poured over a steaming bowl of Japanese rice mixed with seaweed and Ikura". Guess "sushi" or "Japanese food" would have been too hard to type, eh? She says she's disciplined, extreme, and passionate, and if it scares you, "do it!" Frankly, she scares me. I'll leave the "do it" jokes to your imaginations.
April Wilkner's Profile
April Wilkner's Photo Gallery
BETHANY HARRISON, 22, a waitress from Houston, TX
Oh, she's pretty. Don't like the shirt they have her in, but she's pretty. So pretty her favourite movie is "Pretty Woman." Hopefully, that's all she has in common with the movie. She likes R&B, chocolate, and Sex and the City, and says her life's motto is to dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, and love like she's never been hurt. For whatever reason, I remember it as "Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching." I suspect she drew a blank while filling out the form and chose the closest thing to the dancing portion to fill the blank. Elyse Sewell, she's not.
Bethany Harrison's Profile
Bethany Harrison's Photo Gallery
CAMILLE MCDONALD, 25, a student from Mamaroneck, NY
Judging by her appearance, and her listing of Jamaican underground movies and reggae music in her favourites, I surmise that she's Jamaican. Or a really good actress. She says that her favourite foods are "ones that are well prepared- only fish!" (yikes!) and describes herself as "outspoken, sex appeal, down to earth". I think she may have misinterpreted the question as "Name three words that have nothing to do with each other." On another note, when did 'sex appeal' become an adjective? She says the only thing permanent in a lifetime is change. Ri....ght..... .... .... .... I don't like her.
Camille McDonald's Profile
Camille McDonald's Photo Gallery
CATIE ANDERSON, 18, a wire stripper from Wilman, MN
OK, I understand why they clarified that "wire stripper" meant "electrician" in her profile. For a minute there, I wondered if stripping counted as previous modelling experience. She's our first blonde, and is rather pale, as one might expect from a Minnesotan. She describes herself as "tall, melodramatic and romantic." This from the woman who listed "Dumb & Dumber" as her favourite movie and "Jimmy Neutron" as her favourite TV show. Oh, well. If she wants to pretend to be a character in a Danielle Steele novel, that's really up to her. She says the harder you work, the luckier you get. Especially if you're a stripper like she is. OK, I added that last part.
Catie Anderson's Profile
Catie Anderson's Photo Gallery
HEATHER BLUMBERG, 18, a customer services representative from Moreno Valley, CA
First off, her hair is streaked. Uh oh. You just KNOW they're going to give her a makeover in which she's going to moan about all the money she wasted on highlights and they're going to tell her that's not top model attitude and dismiss her a la Nicole who had the contest won but couldn't keep her mouth shut about her hair and her stupid boyfriend and I believe I've just created the world's longest run on sentence so I'll stop now and get back to Heather. Her favourite movie is "The Hot Chick" (strike two!), but she redeems herself in my eyes with her life's motto, "Life's a bitch and then you die." That may be my motto as well, but I suspect that Heather and Life will have a lot in common.
Heather Blumberg's Profile
Heather's Photo Gallery
JENASCIA CHAKOS, 21, a waitress from Burien, WA
On the other side of the coin, we have 21-year-old Jenascia. I hate her picture. Hate hate hate it. She says her favourite TV show is Family Guy (good girl), her favourite food is beef (not steak, burgers, or , and her favourite activity is football. On the flip side, her favourite movie is Moulin Rouge, and she likes classical music. She say's she sarcastic, energetic and unusual, and says why act your age when you're always getting older? I really like her, and that's saying alot from a football hating vegetarian. Expect her to go far.
Jenascia Chakos' Profile
Jenascia Chakos' Photo Gallery
MERCEDES SCELBA-SHORTE, 21, a waitress from Valencia, CA
Methinks Tyra Banks might have an unresolved waitress fetish. Anyways, Mercedes seems rather a ghetto girl, despite her pretentious hyphenated name. She likes hip hop, Latin, and R & B music, Cuban food, and lists "watching men wrestle in mud in briefs" as one of her favourite TV shows. She says actions speak louder than words, but her words seem to speak volumes about her.
Mercedes Scelba-Shorte's Profile
Mercedes Scelba Shorte's Photo Gallery
SARA RACEY-TABRIZI, 22, a restaurant hostess from Seattle, WA
See. Everyone else is a waitress, and she's a restaurant hostess. So she's GOTTA win. Nyah. Seriously, though, in all the pictures I've seen of her, she looks unable to do anything but a "staring off into space" face. Her favourite movie, striking a point for modelling (or mens' leering material, depending on your definition), is "The Making of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit". She likes rap, R & B and eighties music. She describes herself as articulate, stunning, and sarcastic as hell, and her life's motto is "What's next?" We'll certainly see.
Sara Racey-Tabrizi's Profile
Sara Racey-Tabrizi's Photo Gallery
SHANDI SULLIVAN, 21, a services clerk from Kansas City, MO
Jeez. That CAN'T have been the best picture they had of her. Her hair is awkward, her ears are enormous, her mouth is open, and she's wearing an ugly gray t-shirt. I doubt this picture does her justice. I told myself that I wouldn't watch the girls' audition videos because I never do when I'm making my predictions, but I just had to to see if Shandi always looks like that. She is very pretty in person and very articulate, but I get the feeling that she doesn't photograph well. Sort of the anti-Adrianne. Although she does look good in the group photo. But I digress. She likes the Breakfast Club, Kids in the Hall, and lists no favourite music. (Nor would I. Some people are just like that, I guess.) She says to be open to everything and everyone because you never know. Amen. I've decided I rather like Shandi.
Shandi Sullivan's Profile
Shandi Sullivan's Photo Gallery
XIOMARA FRANS, 25, a bartender from Morganville, NJ
All bow to Xiomara, queen of the Amazon! Kidding, kidding. But seriously, Xiomara? She sounds like a Bond villain. Xiomara lists her favourite movie as "Gangs of New York", and also likes "The Osbournes", " That 70's Show", Twizzlers, and fencing. Yes, fencing. The sport with the swords. Or foils, I suppose. She says she's talkative, direct, confident, and hyper, and her goal is "to go through life with a big fat smile on my face. So far, so good." Something about her goal puts me off, though. I guess it suggests "Get over everything, you baby." Anyways, Xiomara reminds me uncomfortably of Robin Manning, and I don't like it. Next, please.
Xiomara Frans' Profile
Xiomara Frans' Photo Gallery
YOANNA HOUSE, 23, a baby sitter/ clothing designer from Jacksonville, FL
Oo, a clothing designer. That should certainly help her modelling. (Too bad Kimora Lee isn't still around, or they could swap fashion tips!) She enjoys "Fashion Trance", "The Wonder Years", and Indie pop music. She also likes Cuban and Middle Eastern food, and peanut butter. She watches sumo wrestling and rally racing, and describes herself as feminine bob (Bohemian bourgeois), energetic, and witty. Her life motto is a Cyndi Lauper song, namely, "Girls just wanna have fun!" Her bio pretty much speaks for itself without my comments. But I like her as well, and wish her luck.
Yoanna House's Profile
Yoanna House's Photo Gallery
So, who'll win? In a competition filled with people named Jenascia, Xiomara, Yoanna and Shandi, nothing is certain, but here are my predictions:
1. Jenascia
2. Mercedes
3. Camille
4. Yoanna
5. Shandi
6. Anna
7. Xiomara
8. Bethany
9. April
10. Heather
11. Catie
12. Sara
Of course, while we're here, I might as well introduce you to the judges!
Of course, starting off, we have Ms. Tyra Banks, the star and producer of the show. She's guest starred in recurring roles on "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" and "Felicity." She was the first African-American woman to make the cover of GQ magazine, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, and the Victoria's Secret catalog. In 1997, she earned the Michael Award for Supermodel of the Year, and has advertised Swatch, Cover Girl, Nike, Pepsi, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, and Dolce & Gabbana.
Secondly, we have facelift victim- er, former supermodel Janice Dickinson. She was one of the world's first supermodels, and, according to the site, "also became the first model to insist on being paid like a star--and treated like one, too." It screams "bitch", nay? She's appeared in Vogue, Elle, Harper's Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, and Playboy, and modelled for Versace, Armani, and Calvin Klein. She penned a book on her experiences entitled "No Lifeguard On Duty: The Accidental Life of the World's First Supermodel." That's one accident I certainly wish never happened.
Next up is Eric Nicholson, senior editor of Jane Magazine. He attended the Parsons School of Design in New York City, and has worked with many celebrities, among them Charlize Theron, Britney Spears, Julianne Moore, Courteney Cox-Arquette, Christina Ricci, Kate Hudson, and Lucy Liu. (Boastful, are we?) He's also worked on ad campaigns for Abercrombie and Fitch, H + M, and Banana Republic.
Our fourth judge is Nigel Barker, renowned high fashion photographer, has worked for fashion giants Armani, Valentino, Gaultier, Kenzo, Donna Karan and Ralph Lauren. He owns his own photo studio, Studio NB, and has appeared in Oyster, Interview, (t)here, Paper Mag, Black & White, Instinct, Forum, Angeleno, and Paperboy, amongs others. His clients include Saks Fifth Avenue, Nicole Miller, Gortex, and Bulgari.
Our final panelist is Jay Manuel, who is listed as "guest judge/ producer", which leads me to believe that the show will keep last year's format of the rotating fifth panelist. Viewers may remember Jay Manuel from the first season of ANTM as a make-up artist and photo director who, along with runway diva J. Alexander, was a perpertual presence throughout the season. He's been instrumental to the careers of models Tyra Banks, Iman, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, and Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon, and others including Vanessa Williams, Alicia Silverstone, Mya, and Kim Cattrall. His clients include Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, Victoria's Secret, and Revlon. He's also worked with Annie Leibovitz, Richard Avedon, Herb Ritts, and Francesco Scavullo. He is currently the Head National Make-Up Artist for I-IMAN cosmetics.
This year's loft has the rooms divided by decade: four to the sixties' Mod Room, four to the eighties' Punk Funk Room, and four to the nineties' Bling Bling Room.
The next season of America's Next Top Model starts on Tuesday, January 13, at 9 PM ET/PT. The website promises an upset within the first ten minutes. Well, we'll see.
Current mood: optimistic.
Current music: Confrontation- Survivor Soundtrack.
And so, we're down to the final nine- let's take a look, shall we?
Alli- Alli, so far, has played a fantastic game. Everyone loves her, she's playing every side... who'd have thought a Noki might have a legitimate chance at winning this thing? Odds: 4-1
Candi- Less of a threat than Portia, mentally, but two immunity victories in a row might send the other contestants squirming. She just might need to wise up, ditch Portia and go for broke. Odds: 7-1
Freya- Went from a horrid position to a great position over the course of the episode. She has a decent shot at the final four if she can keep jumping from alliance to alliance. Odds: 5-1
Joey- Shot himself in the foot by making an all-male alliance. He might be able to get himself out of this situation, but odds are, he's the next one gone. Odds: 10-1
Mathilda- After ducking bullets throughout most of the game, she's finally *temporarily* in the clear. It's very unlikely she'll be able to rack up four votes on any jury, though. Odds: 8-1
Peewee- He seems reluctant to ally with anyone besides the former Nokis, and that won't work in his favour. Plus, again, it's unlikely he'll be able to score four jury votes in any situation, even against Mathilda. Odds: 12-1
Portia- She may be seen as a threat, but if she finds some way to dump Alli, Sydney and the female alliance, she might be able to make it to the finish. Odds: 6-1
Prince- Made a smart move in distancing himself from the males, playing every side, and keeping low under the radar. He knows when to ditch an alliance, and when to find a new one, plus, he's not a physical threat. He'll do just fine. Odds: 4-1
Sydney- Another great flip-flopper, although, it might be noted that some are already onto her game. Odds: 3-1
Current mood: creative.
Current music: Confrontation- Survivor Soundtrack.
Gawd, I'm depressed..... I can't remember the last time I've felt so physically or emotionally ill. Just got over pneumonia, and school is draaaaaaaagging on...... oh, well, at least I have a vacation to Puerto Vallarta to look forward to. Almost Christmas...
I got the Jingle and Spooky sets adorning my AC house, so life ain't all bad. :)
Now that reruns of the show have started replaying on Lifetime, she's jumped back to my annoyance. I'm sure you all remember America's Next Top Model, and, in particular, one contestant. The holiest of the holy rollers, Vecepia Squared, her name: Robin Manning.
She managed to keep to herself in episode one, where she was just "the plus-sized girl." But in episode two, her true character came spilling right out. And so, I present to you: The Robin Manning Timeline of Haughtiness, Hypocrisy, and General All Around Bitchiness. :-)
Episode Two: After finding out that fellow contestant Elyse was an atheist, she happened to be scanning through a bible (to no one's surprise) when she comes across a passage that reads, "Foolish is the man who says there is no God." Of course, being the completely tactless shrew that she is, she calls Elyse in and shows her the passage, snidely commenting, "When I read that, it made me think of you." This obviously offended Elyse (can any of us blame her?) stormed out of the room. Of course, Robin offered no apology.
Later on, an argument erupted about how seriously Ebony (another contestant) was taking the competition, Ebony started to, shall we say, flip out and start yelling. Robin does what I'm sure any of us would do: defusing the situation by plugging her ears and launching into loud gospel songs, annoying the crap out of everyone in the room. Afterwards, she forced everyone, including atheist Elyse, into a group prayer.
Episode Three: Robin launched into full diva mode during a makeover with professional stylists. She refused every suggestion the stylists made, and capped it over by moaning about how much she disliked the new do in front of the stylists! She would later overreact in saying that it made her look like "an albino prostitute". I actually thought she looked alot better than before, but all the prettiness in the world can't compensate for inner beauty. She later arrived late for a group exercise session, during which she balked at all the activities and didn't participate.
Episode Four: Ebony naturally missed her girlfriend, Kaa, and asked the rest of the girls if it was OK if Kaa came over to visit for a while. Robin agreed publically, but privately said,"Ebony is a lesbian, and I found this offensive. I can't pass judgment on her, but I just know that some people claim to love the Lord and are Christian are not always cut the right way." She and her fellow "holy roomie" Shannon spent Kaa's visit cooped up in the the Tokyo Room, refusing to even say "hello" to their visitor.
Episode Five: Robin always seemed to have a snarky remark to make when the subject of Elyse's purported eating disorder came up. While other girls, like Adrianne and Kesse, seemed generally concerned about her, Robin was more intent on making her confess. Case in point: while they were waiting to be interviewed, Elyse mentioned how she would love some pizza. The Holy One, not missing a beat, jumps in with, "You know you wouldn't eat none." Elyse said it best in her confessional: "Robin, you're an idiot, and you're starting to act like a bitch, too."
During a competition which involved being interviewed, Robin was asked questions about how she'd lived her life. After several self-righteous answers, the interviewer commented, "I've never met anyone who was perfect." Robin's response: "Well, you met Robin today." Ah, yes, pride. That's one of the Christian virtues is it not. In fact, I believe it's one of Robin's commandments, right next to "Thou shalt not pass up an opportunity to be a complete and utter bitch."
After the competition, when Elyse and Adrianne's relatives came to visit, she showed her hospitality to visitors again, locking herself into her room and reading the bible. Remind anyone of a certain innkeeper who turned away Mary and Joseph?
Episode Six: When they arrived in Paris, Miss Robin (as she might say) trys to claim one of the beds, knowing full well there's not enough. After straws are drawn and she's delegated to the air mattress, she shows her spiteful nature by blow-drying her hair late into the night to keep the other girls awake.
Episode Seven: Adrianne wanted to visit Jim Morrison's grave while in Paris, and, although Shannon was willing to compromise and not go shopping like she wanted to, Robin was stubborn as the mule she was. She sniffed to Elyse, "just like you don't believe in God, I don't visit graves." After being completely rude about the situation, and reducing Elyse to tears, she still, STILL didn't apologize. Does the woman ever feel remorse? Adrianne was right when she called Robin a psychotic bitch and said, "If there really is this big wonderful man in the sky, he's gonna whoop her ass when she gets up there."
Later, during a Haute Coutoure competition, she refused to talk to their dates for the night. Guess what she started to do instead? Ten seconds...... That's right! She started to read the bible. She would later comment on how the men were "lustful." Mhm. Just like Clinton Portis, the football player, was lustful during their shoot. And Adrianne was lustful when she passed Robin the potatoes at dinner. And Tyra always lusts after her at the elimination ceremonies. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that the red snake from the wildlife shoot was lusting after her during their time together.
Robin refused to participate in the nude photo shoot, but, later, when she thought no one was looking, she decided to shake her bare chest at Mr. Jay Alexander, showing the hypocrisy we'd all come to know and love (and expect). Unfortunately for her, Tyra saw the whole incident, and she was summarily dismissed.
Taking religion a step too far has landed many in the Reality Hall of Shame. But for her combination of religious zealotry, double faced-ness, and sheer lack of tact and basic etiquette, I think her "full-figured" behind should be shoved into the Reality TV Hall of Shame and have the key thrown away.
-Taylor "Quack-Wabbit" Basso :-)
Survivor's black male doesn't exactly have the best reputation. Let's see, we have:
Gervase- Well...... what can we say about Gervase? The guy was like Teflon, I'll give him that much.
Nick- Mr. Invisible. I mean, was he even there, or what?
Clarence- Stole beans, cherries, and was a general all around shcmuck.
Sean R.- Can you say race card?
Ted- The Grindinator. Oh, well, at least he disproved the Survivor myth that black males are incapable of swimming.
*We bring you this intermission to introduce you to Daniel, the only Amazon male of a visible minority. He couldn't stop looking at the camera, and came across a musclebound horndog. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.*
And, of course, Osten, the quitter who couldn't outlift Christa. Also, he couldn't swim.....
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The Survivor sweetheart is a long cast off role, it's only inhabitants being Colleen, Elisabeth, and Neleh. Kim P. was a sweetheart that didn't quite work-out, Penny was a wannabe sweetheart, and Peral Island has no cute girl to speak of. I suppose you could make a case for Amazon's Christy as a sweetheart.
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Ah, the middle-aged mom role. It is VERY RARE that this role doesn't do well. Gretchen had potential; her morals got in the way. Tina took the game, Teresa was an excellent strategist who made the final five, Kathy made it to the final three after a very rough start, Helen came fourth, and the next two survivors featured the black marks of the Survivor moms: Jeanne and Trish. But hey, Trish just could come back, we'll see.....
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The good ol' classic schemer: Richard, Brian, and Rob C. jump right to mind. Jeff Varner, Lex van den Berghe and John Carroll might also fit this archetype, and Jon of the Pearl Islands is trying his damnedest. We'll see how it works out.
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Here's how the Survivors rank at the merge. How far off was I in my intial assessments?
MORGAN:
NICOLE- Hell if I know, didn't get to see her long enough to tell.
RYAN S.- I'll be the first to admit, the guy got a bad rap. If Andrew hadn't targetted him, he could have gone far.
LILLIAN- She wasn't as much of a bitch as I thought she'd be. I ended up liking her.
ANDREW- Piss poor leader. Kind of reminds me of Michael Skupin.
OSTEN- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
DARRAH- I knew the accent would piss me off..... she's hanging low. We'll see how she does.
RYAN O.- He's doing really well for himself. Keep it up, Ryno.
TIJUANA- I remember during the first episode I referred to her as "the black Heidi", but I admit that I was wrong. Feasibly, she *could* win this thing.
DRAKE:
MICHELLE- I had her pegged as a sweetheart. She ended up being a snobby clique girl. Go figure.
BURTON- Dumb.
SHAWN- Dumber.
JON- I FUCKING HATE YOU JON! BURN IN HELL! I HOPE YOU EYES BLEED TO FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!FUCK YOU! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
RUPERT- God, you sure took over the show fast, eh?
SANDRA- Ha ha. Reminds me of my relatives. That's the Hispanics for you, we're all pretty typical.
TRISH- Oh, you foolish, foolish woman. Are you and Nicole, by any chance, related?
CHRISTA- I'm rooting for ya, don't let me down.
JEFF PROBST: Boy, he sure does hate Jon. Don't worry, Jeffy, so do the rest of us.
The final order, if the castaways remain the same after THE TWIST!!!!!!!!!!!:
1. Christa Hastie
2. Sandra Diaz-Twine
3. Tijuana Bradley
4. Ryan Opray
5. Darrah Johnson
6. Osten Taylor
7. Jon Dalton
8. Shawn Cohen
9. Andrew Savage
10. Rupert Boneham
We'll see.....
So, the axed castaways are coming back to the Pearl Islands..... AND THEY'LL AFFECT THE GAME LIKE NEVER BEFORE!!!!! Or so they say. It seems to be some sort of challenge, as it shows Jon, Rupert and Sandra locked in cages, finishing with Trish screaming a hideously dramatic, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Really. No joking.
SPEAKING of whom, Trish Dunn has let me down, and with Nicole, Lillian and now Trish, gone, my entire hope in winning the pool lies on Tijuana's shoulders.
Damn it.
Osten pussied out at the challenge, as did Shawn. Christa lifted more than both of them, which makes me redirect:
I think Christa will be the winner. Sue me if you want, but it's coming. You just watch. And then she and Ryan S. can make geek love in the back of Colby's Pontiac Aztek.
KingSkippy.
Names his cat Nickolis. Freakishly intense about his dreams, unrealistic, and wants to me AXAers in person, after cutting off any and all ties from his family, since we're his only friends in the whole wide world.
Creepy. Stalker. Ew.
I finally beat Konquest with everyone, all in the course of two nights. I'd started over from the beginning. In any event, Mokap and Blaze are cool, Blaze was worth it, Mokap wasn't. Now, I'm working on unlocking all the krypts. Stay tuned! :)
Yep.
Good storylines for CQ, Kouji, Gimpy, Savannah and Shenny. CW provides the comic relief, and Lucy and CW just kind of drag along. I'll give 'em something to do next episode.