||System Of A Down - Ego Brain
Okay, I just wrote a hell of a lot and it got erased. That always happens to my entries. Grr... well, I'm going to try again.
Bile has been on the verge of rising in my throat for the last few hours. It's disgusting, and I don't know why it's doing that. Heh, maybe it's some physical manifestation of my emotions. *shrugs* Just a thought. I still don't feel like I'm back to my old self, though. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
And all I've felt lately from most other people are vibes that reek of annoyance and dismissal. Maybe it's just me. I don't think so, though. I just don't feel good. I really haven't felt good for a month or two now as a whole.
Anyways, yesterday Jocelyn came over and we went to the mall after school. I bought a lighter with an Ace on it, but the fuckers sold it to me without a flint. So now I either have to buy a flint and find out how to put it in there, or forget about it and have wasted ten bucks, because I'm not going to be able to drive down there again to return it for awhile. Eh. I also bought a Jack Skellington coffin leather bag and the new A Perfect Circle CD. To anyone that has considered getting it, I highly suggest it. It is a great CD.
After we got home from the mall, we whipped out M.E.B., the Green God (only about 3 people will know what I'm talking about, but that's alright), and went to Denny's with Max and Nerissa. Steve was there already when we got there, because he had asked me earlier where we were going. I think that Max might have been kind of pissed that I told Steve where we were, but I didn't want to lie to my friend (even if it's such a small thing). We chilled there until about 9:00, and then we went to Nick Carter's house. Nick wasn't there, but Mike was. We sat in Nick's garage-room for awhile and got fucked up with Steve.
Afterwards, we headed for Morgan's, and Steve had to leave. He went to a triple-kegger and we chilled at Morgan's for awhile with Morgan, James, Tara, Ralph, Ryan, Adam, and a few others. After hanging out there for a couple hours, we (Nerissa, Joce, and I) went back to Max's and spent the night there. We left early this morning for Denny's (again) and Max dropped me off at Joce's. Nerissa and Max had to go home for the day.
Joce and I just hung out for awhile, and Max and Nerissa came over again later tonight and we had good times. Coty was supposed to have stopped by at some point, but he couldn't. He said he might be able to hang with me tomorrow. That would be cool, although I have to get to memorizing a monologue for Drama.
I've just felt out of it lately. Like I don't care about anything anymore. I don't feel depressed, really, but just... oh, I don't know. I have my ups and downs. I'd love to write an entry sometime just pouring my feelings out, but it seems like I rarely get the time to do that sort of thing anymore. Maybe packing my life so full of stuff to do isn't so good for me. Who knows. Anyways, I'm too tired to think about that sort of thing, so I'm just going to stop writing now. I hope that everyone had a great Halloween and had tons of fun!
god, it's so fucking cold in here. brrrrrrrrrrrr.