Date:	2004-04-07 18:15
Subject:	search for nirvana
Security:	Public
Mood:	sympathetic
Music:	paper cuts - nirvana

on April 5, 10 years ago, in 1994, kurt cobain committed suicide. he was 27 years old. i consider him one of the top most talented artists that ever lived. this is a tribute to him.

Date:	2004-04-07 17:58
Subject:	lyrics
Security:	Public
Mood:	cranky
Music:	angels or devils - dishwalla

lyrics to the song Otherwise .x. Morcheeba. i like them.

Otherwise

They wanted me here
Just to show you my face
But when it comes to the crunch
I just hide in disgrace
You're calling me mad
But i know you're the same
Cause you got to be seen to be playing the game
Yes we got to be seen to be playing, the game

It ain't gonna hurt now
If you open up your eyes
You're making it worse now
Everytime you criticise
I'm under your curse now
But I call it compromise
I thought that you were wise
But you were otherwise

A specimen like you
I would love to obtain
I asked a tedious guy if he'll tell me your name
I'd love to impress you
With a back somersault
I want to take out your love
But it's locked in a vault
I wanna take up your love
But it's locked in a vault

It ain't gonna hurt now
If you open up your eyes
You're making it worse now
Everytime you criticise
I'm under your curse now
But I call it compromise
I thought that you were wise
But you were otherwise

When i open my mouth
I'm so brutally honest
And i can't expect that kind of love from you
When you open your mouth
your teeth are beautifully polished
And i can't extract the pain you're going through
No i can't explain
The pain you're going through

It ain't gonna hurt now
If you open up your eyes
You're making it worse now
Everytime you womanise
I'm under your curse now
But I call it compromise
I'm under your curse

It ain't gonna hurt now
If you open up your eyes
You're making it worse now
Everytime you criticise
I'm under your curse now
But they call it compromise
I thought that you were wise
But you were otherwise

Date:	2004-04-07 17:55
Subject:	bound for the floor...
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed
Music:	Bound For the Floor - Local H

the song, BOUND FOR THE FLOOR by Local H is a great song!! i love it!!
I'm addicted to music. i can't live without it. i ordered these 2 cd's off the internet over a week ago but i haven't gotten them yet. i'm going crazy over waiting to get them...the cd's i got were:
Films About Ghosts .x. Counting Crows
Dizzy Up the Girl .x. Goo Goo Dolls
2 of my fav. bands.....i'm trying to teach myself to play the guitar but.....i suck.
i also painted my room blue and the doors are purple....it looks GAY!!! but i guess it'll look better when i have all the "decorating stuff" init....but well, that's gonna take a hell o a long time....6 months to be precise. cuz i have to keep my room clean for 6 months straight....very hard, especially for me. believe me, i've tried it before and failed many a time.
this break was good for me.
i think.
i need to get away, to change completely......it's something i need....BADLY!! i don't even care about high school....i just wanna move away and start new.
i'm gonna go now before the tears in my eyes overflow.

this was my horoscope for today:

The emotional weight you've attached to a decision will finally be lifted and you'll be able to make up your mind. Consider the pros and cons carefully before you act.

hmm...

Date:	2004-04-07 13:20
Subject:	more quotes...
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis

o. An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one.
o. There is no anger, jealousy, hatred, suspicion. There is only fear and its various derivatives.
o. *Forgiving is forgetting, in spite of remembering.*
o. If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.
o. We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
o. When you build bridges you can keep crossing them.
o. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
o. Keep in mind that whoever came up with the old adage, Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you, was obviously deaf.
o. *We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.*
o. Life is eternal, and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
o. If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.
o. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
o. Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
o. The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
o. Storms make trees take deeper roots.
o. *Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.*
o. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
o. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
o. *A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.*
o. If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
o. The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

Date:	2004-04-07 13:18
Subject:	quote
Security:	Public
Mood:	melancholy
Music:	Don't Forget Me - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

"a waterfall can't go up, but that doesnt mean its looking down".

just because you aren't perfect and don't do everything right, doesn't mean you have to be sad about it. look at the bright side even though you can't get there because it's better than looking at the dark side.

that's what i think it means. susan emailed me this quote and now i'm completely in love with it

Date:	2004-04-01 12:33
Subject:	i love my puppy.......
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy
Music:	*Light in your Eye - Louise Goffin*

my mom isn't home.......yay!!! she was yelling at me this morning cuz i was sleeping IN MY ROOM with the window closed!!! wtf? yeah, see i'm painting my room (blue!....rach helped) and i can't sleep in my room cuz of "the fumes" so i have to sleep on the couch in the living room. so this morning at 4 am my dad gets up to go to work....so that wakes me up but i fall asleep, again. then, at 9 am (early for me, sort of......i went to sleep late last night so i didn''t get much sleep anyway) my mom goes into the kitchen and goes on the computer and she's banging on the keyboard so i can't sleep. i asked her to use our laptop and go into her room but she says, "well, sammy (my puppy) is gonna be out here and all hell will break loose anyway. sorry, there's nothing i can do" actually, she could have taken the laptop in her room and made noise in there and she could have put sammy outside.....but no, "it's just not worth it" meaning i'm not worth it!!! augh!!! so i go into my room and put my sleeping bag on the floor (i can't sleep in my bed now, it's all covered up) and go to sleep. about 15 minutes later my mom comes barging (spelling?) in the room and opens the blinds so all the light comes in, wrentches the window open (my window is noisy even when you are trying to be quiet, which she wasn't) and leaves, as she slams the door. cuz, ya know, i'm not gonna wake up to all that. so i can't get back to sleep and i go out to have breakfast but my mom is yelling at me (cuz the window wasn't open.....and the evil "fumes") and being bitchy, giving me attitude, and making fun of me cuz i said "i forgot, sorry i was half asleep".......and she ...... just ...... AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date:	2004-04-01 12:23
Subject:	today
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious
Music:	today - smashing pumpkins

my horoscope for today:

Don't judge a book by its cover. How can you be so sure that the person who seems so perfect and pulled-together is really as stuck-up they seem? Get to know people before you slap labels on them.

hmm......

Date:	2004-03-27 11:15
Subject:	me
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm
Music:	in my place - coldplay

o. First name: monica
o. Middle name: not telling, i hate it
o. Birthday: December 25, christmas baby
o. Height: 5'4"...i think
o. Hair color: light brown
o. Eye color: green
o. Glasses: no
o. Contacts: no
o. Braces: nope :)
o. Hair short or long: it's like.. medium.
o. Where you now living: in my house, vista
o. Astrology sign: capricorn
o. Chinese zodiac sign: dunno
o. Nationality: who knows?
o. Bad habits: biting my nails but i don't cinsider it a bad habbit
o. Piercings: soon
o. Tattoos: i wish

FAMILY, ETC.
o. Mother's name: beverley
o. Father's name: peter
o. Brother's name(s): nolan
o. Sister's name(s): n/a
o. Favorite grandparent: bamma
o. Worst relative: i dunno. my cousin was a asshole last time i saw him
o. Best relative: andrew or peter or JJ
o. Best family memory: san francisco or france
o. Do you get along with your parents: occasionally
o. Do your parents understand you: you could say they try, i guess. but no, they don't understand
o. Does anyone in your family understand you: not really
o. Are you still in school: yes
o. Favorite grade: uh....5th, 6th, 7th, 8th
o. Worst grade: 4th
o. Favorite teacher: Mrs. Langn
o. Favorite subject: drama...art
o. Worst subject: anything science related...oh and spanish....AUGH!! i hate that class
o. Buy or bring lunch: both. our school lunches suck cuz they don't have anything vegetarian
o. High school: GPA

FAVORITE
o. Number: 23
o. Clothing brand: anything comfterble that looks good, i guess
o. Shoes: converse
o. Saying: either "everything is okay in the end. if it's not okay, then it's not the end"....or......"truth is you could slit my throut and with my last gasping breath i would apologize for bleeding on your shirt"
o. TV show: gilmore girls//one tree hill//that 70's show//friends//will & grace
o. Movie: Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, White Oleander, Thirteen, LOTR 2
o. Book: White Oleander, The Last Unicorn, Speak
o. Sport: [to play] dance [to watch] football
o. Vegetable: lettus, olives
o. Fruit: lime, lemon
o. Season: fall
o. Holiday: Christmas/my birthday...the same day!!
o. Music: soundtracks//rock//punk//hip-hop//instrumental//classical.....anything. i can't live without music
o. Place to be: in my room, with my friends
o. Radio station: 94.9//93.3//105.9//100.3//90.3//the wb radio
o. TV channel: mtv//the wb
o. Fast food place: rubio's//subway
o. Restaurant: surfer's cafe
o. Shape: triangle
o. Time of day: dawn, morning, between 9pm and 11 pm
o. State: california
o. Mall: el camino real//north county fair
o. Video game: yoshi
o. Shampoo: herbal essance...basically anything that smells good
o. Car: miada
o. Music video: pressious illusions - alanis morissette, prefect - simple plan, numb - linkin park
o. Swear word: fuckin
o. Month: November
o. Cartoon: sesame street. its not a cartoon but w/e...it's an awesome show!!
o. Singer/Band - Counting Crows, Coldplay, Goo Goo Dolls, Nirvana
o. Song: colorblind - counting crows//long december - counting crows//the scientist - coldplay//trouble - coldplay//clocks - coldplay//black balloon - goo goo dolls//broadway - goo goo dolls//fallen - sarah mclachlan
o. Scary movie: sixth sense, the ring
o. Team: raiders
o. Era: 60's

PRIVATE LIFE
o. Boyfriend/girlfriend: no
o. Crush: not really
o. Do you love anyone right now: friends and family (i guess)
o. Have you ever been in love: no
o. How many hearts have you broken: taylor sharp, i guess
o. How many people broke your heart: i've been crushed, no broken hearts though
o. Do you go more by looks or personality: personality...but looks don't hurt *wink, wink*
o. Ever kiss a friend: yup....*sheepish grin*
o. Are you still friends: of course
o. Acid: haha..no
o. How about a little ecstasy: well, no
o. Crack, heroin, anything else: oh yeah man....no siree
o. Are you a sissy who drinks Mike's Hard Lemonade and wine coolers: hey!! they're good, ok?
o. Prefer beer or liquor: liquor...amaretto's :)

WOULD YOU EVER
o. Bungee jump: yes
o. Skydive: yes
o. Swim with dolphins: way cool, hell yeah!!
o. Scuba dive: yup
o. Go rock climbing: i have
o. Change your religion: yes
o. Turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no way
o. Steal your brothers friends to hook up with them: uh....have you seen my brother's friends....i don't think so...no
o. Lie to the police: if a rent-a-cop counts......uh......*guilty*
o. Run from the police: if it was necessary
o. Speed away from the police: if necessary
o. Walk up to a total stranger and kiss them: how much would you pay me?
o. Walk out of a restaurant without paying: no....that's fucked up