Saz's Journal

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


So I am very unlikely to be using this anymore...just sort of a probably final update on my life!
I've been with my amazing girlfriend Lauren since sept 04, we have just bought a beautiful house together in Birmingham :-D Shes a midwife and I'm a trainee therapist, I also work in a weird little shop! I love my family and my friends.
I am aware of how priviledged and amazing my life is, mainly due to my incredible lady, and I'm eternally grateful for this. In the next five years we plan to get married, have a baby, and be even more fabulous :-)

Current mood: happy
Current music: afi, paramore, fatm
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Sunday, February 28, 2010


Tomorrow is March! Hopefully things will be happening in March, housewise. Its very easy to get frustrated with it all, but its such a huge thing, something that shapes our lives, and it deserves effort.
I am happy, apart from the confusion about the house. Hmm.
Today I'm watching tv and doing more organising! I have done the majority of my room, shoes, and beauty products/make up the other day. I need to buy something to organise my makeup better. And also something for my jewellery. Am loving my Soap & Glory skincare at the moment, and I am trying to better with drinking water. Once I 've had my haircut (trying new salon) I am really going to try and take better care of my hair.
This week...I have work Tuesday, going out wednesday and haircut on Thursday.

Current mood: optimistic
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Saturday, February 13, 2010


Boredom, hence why am I writing here. I have a week off work and am bored already, doesn't bode well! Lauren is at work til 9. I could do course work but I have a headache, so doing fiddly designs may not be good, same with my other two options, reading my new book, or wii. I am rather wishing I could zoom ahead two months to which way things are going to go, another rented flat (albeit a rather swanky one) or our own house :-) Either would be lovely, and I am fully appreciative of how amazing my life is. Have been out with friends a few times this month...thats it really.

Current mood: blah
Current music: afi
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Saturday, January 24, 2009


As much as I love the money that my job brings me, I've had some lovely days with Lauren that makes it worth it. Just things like going to Yo Sushi, and Pizza Express, and we saw Bride Wars at the cinema (and new Underworld out soon, yay!) and some nice shopping trips (my new purple Marc Jacobs bag is my joint favourite bag).
We have concerts, trip to London and holiday to look forward to, aswell as beckys birthday in leeds.
I'm hoping that because my working week is now split into two, and I have lots of nice things in between, it will make working 45hrs a week easier. And pretty new car is coming soon!

Current mood: happy
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008


I'm still not right from having flu a week ago, blah, its making me tired. Last night was lovely, mum and Lauren met me after work and we went xmas shopping and to the german market and starbucks, then to see Glens new kitten which is sooo lovely.
I'm very proud of Lauren lately, its amazing when your gif does things like resusitating babies who aren't breathing, she is special and magical. I'm very looking forward to xmas, it is 2wks and 1 day away! Me and Lauren have both spent about £250 on each other which is good I think, as we have a new housey to save for! And we have a wiii from our parents, hurray.
We have booked at a lovely italian for new year and then staying in the hyatt, it will be very very lovely. I wish my xmas hours would hurry up, I am tired from all the working and want to know what I'll be doing now! Nothing much this week, going out with Rita on Sunday then to city bar and the mailbox with lauren/lauren and mum.

Current mood: tired
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Monday, September 22, 2008

1:44PM - WOW!

This morning Lauren found out that A) she got a first in her degree! She didn't deserve anything less, she is the most amazing midwife, and the most amazing woman ever. B) she has got a full time job at Birmingham Womens Hospital!
She is just amazing, I don't think I could be any happier.
Last night I held and closed the floor on menswear at work, it was scary giving orders but after it was all done and I was going home, I felt very confident, its a nice feeling and I'm glad I'm getting somewhere in my job, Its weird that we both got the jobs we wanted when we moved back here!
We had a lovely night out on Thurs, to the beauty event for Selfridges fifth bday party, had lots of freebies and cocktails, then went to Royal London which I always love for the accepting atmosphere with the combination of people and music.
AND on Thursday it is our 4th anniversary and we are having tattoos! Laurens name means laurel leaves so I'm having a heart shape of them on my back, and Lauren is having a stylized S on the back of her neck. THEN it is my birthday week off work! THEN we are going to Ani Difranco and the London Aquarium in London!

Current mood: ecstatic
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Wednesday, July 9, 2008


I don't seem to write much anymore, I don't know if thats because I'm too busy with work and going nice places, or beacause I'm too content to have much to warrant writing about. People tend to write more when they have something to rant about lol.
Went to London with Lauren for pride weekend, we only went cuz Andy and his mate invited us but they didn't go in the end. It was sunny and watching the parade was fun. We went to Trafalgar square but I don't really feel any connection to gay people/pride-to me it seems like the whole thingpresents a microcosm of gay society as being mainly men who like either wearing very little or dressing up as women, or a few girls, who look like boys. Thats already the stereotype people have, so what progress is it creating? Surely showing people that the girly girl in the flowery dress buying sparkly makeup in front of you in the queue in boots is gay, or the non camp business man in the suit is gay, or the woman picking her child up att he school gates is gay is showing a more needed view, that gay people are no different to straight people. In fact its gay as well as straight people that seem to need to be shown that. Gay women seem to focus on validating women looking like stereotypical lesbians by ignoring the fact that theres also nothing wrong with looking like a stereotypical girl.
So anyway, we went shopping in oxford street and to a naughty shop and to pizza express and our loverly hotel instead, then wandered in covent garden on sunday.Had a lovely weekend :-)
The price of the house we want to buy has dropped a bit, we're hoping it coninues doing so lol.
Have explained to Daniel why I haven't reciprocated him being in touch with me again, basically because I felt he droppped me for his new friends then picked me back up when he didn't have them, expecting me to be okay with this. I'm not entirely sure he understands this, or how I should handle it.
I'm happy at the moment though, time is spent at work, walking the doggy, and being with my lovely lovely gif.

Current mood: happy
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Sunday, June 22, 2008


If you are reading this and wonder why I dont reply to texts/onliney things, its because it makes me feel like shit to only be bothered with when you have no better options. You haven't been a good/supportive/loyal friend and I deserve and have people that are.

Current mood: happy
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Feeling very funny suddenly. After having long email conversations with ev. He reminds me of people from the past because thats when we were together most, but suddenly, for a minute, I felt how I used to then. That feeling when it feels like your so still but the world is spinning around you, and theres pressure in your ears and you feel sick and cold. It annoys me, because I'm still terrified of people lying to me, and those two people are why. I don't hate either of them ,it just makes me sad. That something (ok, a first relationship and a strong friendship) that was supposed to be full of innocence and happiness and good memories was just really awful cruel lies. I've seen first had how you can go from being someones sweetheart to them being obsessed by someone else and how their double life can twist any sense of understanding of people, and love that you have. The weird thing is that as people, I understand them both, far, far more than they think, but I don't understand what they did to me.
That was weird because as long as it took me to write that, I suddenly wasn't bothered and couldn't really remember what I was writing about.
But, thinking about it, I'm proud of me. Because I'm now capable, responsible, and more confident. I have a good job, no debt and a beautiful girlfriend who has an amazing career ahead of her. And noone ever thought that would happen, and a lot of you convinced me to never think it would happen either. I'm happy :-)

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Thursday, May 8, 2008


Hurray, the summer is here! I've been working loads this week so haven't been out in the sun much but I finish at 12 tomorrow then have the weekend off hurray! And I'll get good wages this month that AREN'T to be spent on stuff with my staff discount lol. Hmm what else, oh I spoke to Becky on facebook (she persuaded me to get one lol) which was weird but nice.
My feet hurt and I'm tired but happy, I'm really looking forward to the weekend with Lauren, and the sun makes everything lovely.
Tomorrow I have a family party thingy for June & Peters joint 60th, so glad I finish work early. Oh and Lauren got a midwife job, she was the first in her class to get one and I'm so proud of her, today was her last day at uni so shes now a grown up dinosaur :-)

Current mood: cheerful
Current music: Sam Sparro- Black & Gold
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Friday, March 7, 2008


As always when I'm writing here, I'm at my parents house. Me and lauren are here for the week but shes at work tonight and tomorrow night so is coming back saturday.
I cannot sleep without her and I dont know how its midnight already.
I'm not looking forward to staying here when we leave leeds in august while we look for a house. Hopefully we'll find jobs and a house really fast, because its cold here, I don't like the shower and they all annoy me so much. My dad doesn't bother with me, my mum just wants me to tidy up after everyone while shes at work and she still thinks ste is an angel. And its horrible compared to being in our flat and doing things the way we want to.
I'm also really worried about finding a job-it makes me feel awful. And its such a bloody hard process that when I get my job in birmingham I'm never moving jobs again, ever lol.
I'm also sure the internet delays peoples maturity...some people dont seem to be able to be themselves at all. They have to create this page of perfect life to show how very grown up they are. And why can't people just tell me who they are instead of agreeing with me then having another personality they display to others. I don't get it, it irritates me. Instead of dealing with their actual lives people seem to find it easier to just create a 'better', online one instead. Very glad that I don't have to!
I'm also glad for my amazing girlfriend, who seems to get more amazing every day.

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Friday, January 4, 2008


Well I am back at my parents house for the night as me and Lauren are doing the fortnightly-monthly parent visit. Which is sometimes rather boring but oh well.
I had the 2nd best new year ever (1st was me and laurens 1st one together when we saw Blondie and the Scissor Sisters in edinburgh and stayed in a v posh hotel) we stayed in and watched the L word (lauren was very upset a few days before about how Dana dies but due to watching Buffy I am well aware of the cruelness of writers!) had lots of nice food and wine and sex and it was just lovely. Did I wrote about Christmas? Well it was lovely anyway! Lauren and me stayed at my parents on christmas eve then she saw her parents xmas day, then we went back to our flat for a yummy boxing day. I had £100 and the steve irwin book from parents, and from Lauren the ENTIRE BUFFY BOXSET OH MY GOD!!!, some ruby & millie make up and shu emura curlers (they are proper amazing), some jewellery, some nightmare beofre christmas jamas and lots of other lovely things.
We have both started a much more updated paper journal each to document this year being as we will move from Leeds (hopefully to birmingham), Lauren will graduate and look for a midwife job, I'll leave the longest job I've ever had and find a new one and it will be nice to record these events.
We are both planning to exercise more in the new year (I have cute new kswiss trainers you see) and eat more healthily than we have done over xmas. We are also now fully vegetarian and are looking into vegan substitutes too, after reading Skinny Bitch we we thought was just a motivational diet book but actually is very pro veganism.
Anyways, thats enough for one update, I shall continue turning Loz into a Buffy geek.

Current mood: happy
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Saturday, December 15, 2007

6:54PM - longest survey ever

- - - - -
Your gender: Female.
Straight/gay/bi? I prefer lesbian as its more female but I'm beginning to hate that due to how bloody stupid most lesbians seem to be
Single? No
Want to be? No way
Your birthdate: 2nd October 1984
Your height: About 5ft
The color of your eyes: Dark brown
Happy with it? Yes.
The color of your hair: Blonde
Happy with it? Yes
Left/right/ambidextrous? Right.
Your family: Parents, my girlfriend Lauren, younger brother, nan, aunties, uncles, cousins, and a load of people I not really sure how I'm related to!
Have any pets? A cow print mouse called Miranda and a black/brown stripy lab/staffy cross called Poppy.
What's your job: Sales Assistant
Obsessions? Cleanliness, tidyness, food, Buffy, my girlfriend, shopping
Do you speak another language? Nune, me and Laurens language
Have a favourite quote? What goes around comes around.

D E E P | T H O U G H T S ..about life and you in it
- - - - -
Do you live in the moment? I think so, but I think its important to keep in mind past experience and lessons.
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? Sometimes. I can't stand dirty or smelly people, people that have a religion instead of an opinion, liars, or really egotistical people.
Do you have any secrets? Nope
Do you hate yourself? No, whats the point in that?
Do you like your handwriting? Its okay, I always wanted really neat writing though.
Do you have any bad habits? Biting my nails
What is the compliment you get most from people? I dont get many! Probably that my hairs nice?
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? These are hard questions..I dont flipping know what it would be called!
What's your biggest fear? Spiders and the dark. Thats two though.
Can you sing? No
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? What?! No, I like being me thankyou
Are you a loner? No, I prefer being with Lauren
What are your no. 1 priorities in life? Love, family, health, happiness, money
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes, I'm a good friend.
Are you a daredevil? Not really
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? My sensitivity irritates me sometimes as I know I being really stupid about things.
Have you got a journal? Other than this one, no.
What is your greatest strength and weakness? Strengths: Imagination Weakness: over sensitivity
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Looks wise I'd like straighter teeth, and if I'm being fussy, a smaller nose, symetrical hips and slimmer legs. Personality wise I'd like to be less sensitive.
How do you vent? Talk to my girlfriend.
Do you think you are emotionally strong? I think I've gained a lot of strength over the past 3 years and got a lot more responsible.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? Not really, even the crap things have taught me something.
Do you think life has been good so far? Yes, apart from a few horrible bits when I was a teenager but I'm sure they happen to everyone.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? That things happen for a reason, and that theres no point hating life or worrying about things.
What do you like the most about your body? Nothing in particular, but its a fairly nice shape being as I have boobies now so it is proportioned apart from when I eat way too much junk and get a pot belly!
And least? My thighs.
Do you think you are good looking? Not really but I dont think I'm bad looking either.
Are you confident? Again, I've gained a lot of confidence in the past few years, but I can still get a bit shy or nervous.
Who is the fictional character you're most like? Err Jane Lane, Willow Rosenberg or Lisa Simpson maybe
Are you perceived wrongly? Sometimes people mistake my shyness for me being stuck up

D O | Y O U ...
- - - - -
Smoke? No.
Do drugs? No.
Read the newspaper? Yeah, we get them free at work otherwise I wouldnt
Pray? No
Go to church? No, I'm not a fan of christianity, or many religions for that matter
Talk to strangers who IM you? I dont use messenger
Sleep with stuffed animals? No but theyre on our bed in the daytime-bagpuss, a pink cat, a patchwork emily strange cat and a bear in hello kitty pj's.
Talk to people even though you hate them? Yes, every day at work lol
Drive? No, it scares me

H A V E | Y O U | E V E R ...
- - - - -
Liked your voice? No, I like talking though, unless its to people I don't know
Hurt yourself? Yes.
Been out of the country? Yes, spain n italy with parents, paris, amsterdam, barcelona and malta with loz.
Eaten something that made other people sick? Yes
Been in love? Yes, with my girlfriend
Done drugs? No, dont see the point
Gone skinny dipping? No
Had a medical emergency? No
Had surgery? Yes, last year
Ran away from home? No
Played strip poker? No.
Gotten beaten up? No
Beaten someone up? No
Been picked on? Yes
Been on stage? No
Slept outdoors? Yes, only two or three times though, I like comfort!
Thought about suicide? Yes
Pulled an all-nighter? Yes
If yes, what is your record? I dont know..until about 9am I think
Gone one day without food? No, a few hours is bad enough!
Talked on the phone all night? Yes.
Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex? Does that mean just sleeping in the same bed? Then yes
Slept all day? Yes, I was unemployed lol
Killed someone? No. Thats a bit dramatic for a survey isnt it?!
Made out with a stranger? Not a stranger, a very quick kiss with a girl that wouldnt bloody leave me alone, and with my now girlfriend who I'd spoke to before we met.
Had sex with a stranger? No
Thought you're going crazy? Yes.
Kissed the same sex? Yes
Done anything sexual with the same sex? Yes
Been betrayed? Yes
Had a dream that came true? Yes
Broken the law? Yes.
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? Yes
Stolen anything? Yes
Been on radio/tv? No
Been in a mosh-pit? Yes

- - - - -
Shoe brand? Kurt Geiger
Brand of clothing? River Island, Topshop, Miss Selfridge
Cologne/perfume? Vera Wang Princess, Lush Karma, Nina Ricci
Judge other people by their clothing? Yes
Wear make-up? Yes, I love makeup.
Favourite place to shop? Selfridges
Favourite article of clothing? Vest tops, dresses

- - - - -
Believe in life on other planets? Yes.
Astrology? Yes.
Magic? Yes
God? No
Santa? No.
Ghosts? No
Luck? Yes.
Love at first sight? Yes.
Witches? Yes
Easter bunny? No.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? Yes
Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? No
Do you wish on stars? No

D E E P | T H E O L O G I C A L | Q U E S T I O N S
- - - - -
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? No
Do you think God has a gender? No
Do you believe in organized religion? No, I can't stand it when people try to justify homophobia or animal cruelty with a religion.
Where do you think we go when we die? I'd like to think souls live on

- - - - -
Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title? No
Do you consider love a mistake? True love, never
What do you find romantic? candles, connectedness, and thoughtfullness
Turn-on? My girlfriend-especially her red hair and gorgeous figure.
Turn-off? People that dont smell nice, arrogance.
First kiss? My first girlfriend, aged 17. It was awful and I remember thinking 'I'm sure this isnt how its done!' then wanting to get home very quickly and not contact her again!
If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Awkward
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"? Knowing someone a little bit
Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? It doesnt really make any difference to me!
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? Probably more than the same sex does, probably because I do not look like a lesbian stereotype.
What is best about the opposite sex? Sperm donation. They are usually more willing to talk about nintendo and music with me.
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? Them physically. Bleaurgh!
Do you read porn? No, I've read erotica books but they arent great to be honest, reading what is basically someone elses fantasy doesnt really appeal to me.
What's the last present someone gave you? Probably my lovely birthday presents
Are you in love? Yes, very much
What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk? Well they arent going to be better looking than my girlfriend and I dont really notice people are good looking unless I get to know them and they have a nice personality.

W H O | W A S | T H E | L A S T | P E R S O N...
- - - - -
You wanted to kill? Probably my ex boss
That you laughed at? My girlfriend
That laughed at you? as above
That turned you on? as above
You went shopping with? as above lol
To disappoint you? an ex best friend who still lies to his advantage
To ask you out? A boy I used to work with I think
To make you cry? a friend of my gf who looked at me like crap but I later realised was jealous.
To brighten up your day? my girlfriend
That you thought about? as above
You saw a movie with? as above
You talked to on the phone? my mum
You saw? my girlfriend before she went to work

R I G H T | T H I S | M O M E N T...
- - - - -
Are you going out? No, when Lauren gets home we're having a takeaway and some wine and watching x factor
What are you wearing right now? boyfriend fit jeans and a v neck black top.
Body-part you're touching right now? err none!
What are you worried about right now? Nothing really..maybe about me and lauren getting jobs and a place to live when we move to birmingham next year but we're both great at our jobs so its not really that much a worry.
Book you're reading? none at the moment which is odd
What's on your mousepad? Don't have one on a laptop.
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: Tired, happy, in love, hungry, cosy
Are you bored? Why else would I be doing this bloody survey?!
Are you tired? A bit
Are you talking to anyone online? No.
Are you lonely or content? Content
Are you listening to music? No

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

8:14PM - To waste some time til Loz finishes work...

Name: Sarah
Nickname(s): Saz, Sar, Sezzie, Sez, Mitten, Mit
Age: 23
Birthday:October 2nd
Birthplace: Wolvertrampton
Current Location: Leeds, in a pretty flat with my prettier girlfriend
Eye Color: Dark brown
Hair Color: Blonde
Height: Erm, mall. 5ft?
Weight: 7 stone 11
Lefty or Righty: right
Zodiac Sign: Libra
What Do You Drive: I don't drive, I'm scared of it
Screenname: i don't have a specific one usually something purple

Color: purple
Number: 2
Band: RHCP, Garbage, Kasabian & Ani Difranco among others
Music Genre:Anything from Amy Winehouse to Lamb to Placebo
TV Show: Buffy, Friends, Ugly Betty, The L Word
Movie: Nightmare Before Christmas
Actor:Johnny Depp (I don't fancy him though)
Actress: Eliza Dushku, Alyson Hannigan, Cameron Diaz
Kind of Movie: Something a bit different like Tim Burtons stuff. I hate american teen movies and boring boy films.
Cartoon: Charlie and Lola
Sport: None thankyou, boring
Fast Food Restaurant: Wagamama
Food: Chocolate, pizza, pasta
Ice Cream: Ben and Jerrys Phish Food
Cereal: Crunchy Nut Clusters
Candy: Turkish Delight
Alcoholic Beverage: vodka
Quote: What goes around comes around

{---Do You---}
Have any siblings: Yes, a younger brother whos alright sometimes but often annoys the crap out of me.
Have any pets: Miranda the mouse and Poppy a beautiful black lab/bull terrior cross
Have a job: Yes,I'm proud its the longest job I've ever had and pays me lovely money
Have a cellphone: Yes, its white and silver and nice.
Have any special talents or skills: I don't think I have any....?
Have any fears: Spiders, the dark, deep water
Have a bedtime: No
Sing in the shower: No
Want to go to college: School was bad enough thanks
Get along with your parents: Yes
Have any piercings: Navel, nose, 8 lobe, tragus, scaffold
Have any tattoos: One star/rose on my hip, want another
Smoke: No
Drink: Yes
Do Drugs: No

{---Love & All That Crap---}
Ever been in love: Yes, just this once
Are you single: No
Are you in a relationship: Yes, its beautiful
Do you have a crush on someone: My girlfriend
Ever been dumped: No
Ever dumped someone: Yes

{---This or That---}
Fruit or Vegetable: Fruit
Black or White: Black
Lights On or Lights Off: Low lighting
TV or Movie: Tv
Car or Truck: Car
Cash or Check: Cash
Rock or Rap: Rock
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
French Toast or French Fries: Fries
Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries
Cookies or Muffins: Cookies
Winter Break or Spring Break: Winter
Hugs or Kisses: Both

{---Have You Ever---}
Danced in a public place: yes
Smiled for no reason: yes
Laughed so hard you cried: yes, me and lauren do often!
Talked to someone you don't know: yes
Drank alcohol: yes
Done drugs: never needed to
Partied 'til the sun came up: yes
Gotten a ticket: I'd have to learn to drive first wouldnt i
Been arrested: No
Been convicted of a crime: No
Been in a wreck:No
Been out of the country: yes, spain and italy with family, spain, paris, amsterdam and malta with lauren

{---Random & Silly Junk---}
Are you a virgin: no
Ever TP'd someone's house: No
Ever egged someone's house: no
How many languages do you speak: Two, english and nune
Who do you compare yourself to: just my own standards, being at someone elses standard is pointless
Ever regret anything: no, even the stupid things have taught me lessons or gave me experiences
Do you like being tickled: no
What are your goals:to own a house with lauren, to get married, to have a job I like
Are your fingers tired: No
Are you tired of this survey: yes but its wasting lots of time until lauren finishes work!
Are you happy: Very, I have a very nice life and Christmas is coming :-)

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Sunday, October 28, 2007


My goodness, we go to Malta in 27 days for Laurens placement in a hospital over there (her parents having a house there that they don't live in is rather good!) and when we come back it is 2 weeks til christmas. That doesn't leave much time for christmas shopping!
London was great, it was nice to just escape work and wander round holding hands. Ani Difranco was just amazing, one of the best gigs I've ever been to. The support guy Hamall (sp?) was really funny, was nice to have a support act thats really entertaining rather than listening to a bunch of songs you've never heard before. It was also nice to have mature people at a gig rather than as the girl behind us pointed out 'a load of kids drinking cider' and it improved my view of gay women a bit. But yes, Ani was incredible :-)
My new hours start on tuesday, so thats very very good. And outside is lovely and autumy.

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Sunday, October 14, 2007


Contrary to my original though that I get worse with computery stuff as I get older, I've figured out how to put music on my new phone, now that I've got past the first attempt of putting it all on then wondering ''where the fuck has it all gone?!" However the memory card my dad got me seems to hold a lot less than he told me it does. Maybe instead of albums I should put my fave songs off a few albums on? Or is it too late now they're on? Buggar, its harder than itunes.
I am at my parents house for the weekend, as much as I like coming home, it does kind of remind me why I moved out in the first place. I like Leeds although the sameyness of the people bores me, and it has that 'its not home' feel about it, as much as I love the shops, and the resturants and the park. It sort of feels like everythings on hold until we move in August and I didn't really plan/expect it to be like that.
Work is annoying me, as I wanted a 20sumthing hour job that was easy and I could judt do while I'm in Leeds, I didn't want all this responsibility and stress. I've asked for my hours to be reduced now, which will hopefully make things lots easier.
We're in London for the Ani Difranco gig next weekend which should be lovely lovely, and have Laurens work placement in Malta at the end of November to escape from work to!
I have lots of lovely new autumy clothes and shoes to wear and am actually quite looking forward to winter, I love christmas with Lauren. We are going to go out more, now I'm not working as much, maybe to Fiber although I do have a small irritation with anything gay related as I cant help but see a roomful of people conforming to an awful stereotype because they have nothing else to be,and thinking 'ugh is that what people think I'm supposed to be like?' But we shall see.

Current mood: productive
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Tuesday, October 9, 2007


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Tuesday, August 21, 2007


Thankyou commenty person, whoever you are..i was just thinking that when I used to think about the past few years I used to focus on memories of such horrible people but now I remember lovely times which is good. And lovely people-although I speak to most of them very minimally now, they gave me experiences that I wouldnt have had without them. And yes, it is shocking that entries from this time last year are on this page too!
I'm online because Lauren is at work tonight and I have flu so havent been to work today. Theres nothing on tv and reading is hurting my eyes.
Our holiday was lovley lovely lovely, we spent a couple of days on the beach and went to barcelona one day and saw the segrada familia, gothic quarter and guell parc. And had some lovely meals. It was nice going to somewhere where there were a lot of gay people and being ok to hold your partners hand without getting abuse. I'm sure I could write lots more if I wasn't so tired, maybe I could put a couple of photos up too being as thats old too!

On a seperate note, I have the radio on tv, and why is it acceptable to say 'black music' but not 'white music'? I watched a really annoying programme called undercover mum about some self righteous woman on her high horse and an equally up herself nutritionist saying we need to drink cows milk and soya milk is unhealthy. Sure, cuz drinking an animals breast milk designed for its babies is healthy. And the process the animals go though to provide it is repulsive (no, cows dont express milk all the time!). And something about them finding out a lot of pubs serve zebu meat instead of cow and the stupid bint saying 'that doesnt look like an animal that should be eaten'. Yeah, its not like all those sheep walking around looking all eatable and stuff. Anyway, it is too late for this..
We have nice things to look forward to-going home to see parents and doggies, our 3yr anniversary (although I have to be a bridesmaid before that, ugh), my birthday, and going to see Ani Difranco in London :-)
I shall try and sleep now, and hopefully feel better tomorrow, and hopefully my very tired lady will have had a good night delivering babies and will come home and get some sleep before she forgets what sleep is!

Current mood: bored
Current music: radio1
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Sunday, July 22, 2007


I am very tired tonight, we got back from my parents house about 4, and lauren is at work 7pm-7am. I have to wash up and make my dinner for tomorrow, except having a shower at the moment seems like a lot of effort!
I've liked a lot of this weekend, on saturday me, lauren, mom and glen went into town and they bought us dinner in city bar and mum bought me two dresses. Then I went to try on my bridesmaids dress at nans which at least is all sorted now, but I think looked really awful. I'm just not the right shape to wear things like that. Then my dad bought us a takeaway and we watched tv with my parents and laughed a lot which is how I like things to be. I was kind of annoyed that Nicola didnt have her party because we would have had fun, but we had a lovely night anyway! Friday was a bit rubbish because of my mum, as usual, telling lauren things she doesnt tell me, in this case that my mum said then when ste has moved out her and my dad will split up, and at the time, it made me feel really upset. It just felt horrible to know I'll never have 'my parents house' to go to , and that my children wont be able to go to 'nan and grandads' but now I think it through they wont ever do it, because my mum couldnt afford it, they wouldnt be happy on their own, Poppy would miss whoever she didnt live with, and I would be really annoyed at my mum if she did that. So I feel better now.
My holiday is in 22days, I am very excited! I miss lauren when shes not here, I love her very very very much. I am happy at the moment :-)

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Friday, June 22, 2007


Are you hungry?
No, I feel slightly queasy still, dairy especially cheese is making me feel very sick lately

Are you thirsty?
Yes, but we have yummy new squash that tastes like fruit salad sweets.

How do you feel about the weather?
Not happy! Its supposed to be June, I have lots of summery clothes and shoes that STILL have the tags on! The sun makes me very happy.

What have you done today?
Skived off work, cleaned the flat with lauren, put stuff on ebay, watched tv. I also sorted my summer clothes out and took pics of what goes well together.

What are you going to do today?
Watch crap tv, play on my nintendo ds, wash up. (lauren is at work tonight)

What person have you thought about most today?
My beautiful lauren, who I feel is made out of me and I am made out of her. She is so, so gorgeous. Her hair is very long and straight and a deep flamey red, she has the prettiest glowiest face and the sexiest body ever.

What are you looking forward to?
Payday. I want two tops from new look, some new heels/wedges, some jeans, some work trousers, some new shorts for lauren, work shoes for lauren, a new mobile and a new tv remote so we can watch our big tv. Hmm. I don't think that will be happening. I'm also looking forward to seeing lauren in the morning and spending the weekend with her, and going to barcelona in august.

What are you not looking forward to?
Work on monday, being a bridesmaid in september.

What are you worried about?
The above two things, that I'll never afford my new fret, what job I'm going to do next year

What are you excited about?
Pay day, my holiday

What are you putting off?
Doing the washing up, I'm too tired

What is irritating you today?
My mum not replying to my texts, being skint (my fault for going shopping and spending lots, and also cuz we went to malta for a week)

Current mood: bored
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