5 30 04 ♥ 7:03p music - jets to brazil- you're the one i want comment to be added, y'all... "peace and love" 2 hidden |go seek

5 30 04 ♥ 6:24p mood - contemplative music - hootie and the blowfish- hannah jane i'm sorry, blurty. i miss you too. but i know what i'm gonna do with you. go seek

5 11 04 ♥ 9:51p mood - calm music - the format- on your porch this song is so beautiful it makes me love homicide. whingus, i need to get you an lj. i know we both have emotional attachments to our blurtys, but i feel like i'm being left in the dust. of all 19 friends on my list, half of which i freaking did the layouts for, only 1 comments/updates. and that's you. so let's do that whingus. and let's also work on our may 23 "concert." i left the cd's in the cab... i need to do something about that, secretively. 4 hidden |go seek

5 9 04 ♥ 8:37p mood - scared music - joni mitchell- little green i am so screwed. it's almost 9 and i haven't started to finish my keith haring paper. holymotherfuckingcrap. i don't know what i'm gonna do. there should be a procrastination pill. i'm so dumb. dumb dumb dum. so dum i spell dum without a "b". because it DOESN'T NEED IT. and neither do i NEED to do this EFFING paper. happy mother's day, keith haring, you FUCKING SODOMIST. i am daughter, hear me roar. it's kevin's birthday tomorrow, and i just finished his last gift, which he won't get until next week. it's so awesome. i think i'll put a picture of it in here, considering it has been the source of all my work ethic and it's inadequacy... yes, inadequate. tara=inadequate. so here you go, uncut. and even with "one year, six months" lyrics. 4 hidden |go seek

this day will go down in infamy. 5 8 04 ♥ 8:21p mood - contemplative music - ben kweller- different but the same at the moment, i have ben kweller songs stuck in my head, and a very stuffy nose and red eyes and sticky cheeks from crying so much. "different but the same," the title of this song means so much right now. i love weekends, but i hate what they make me do to myself. but then again, i really would have nothing without them. yesterday kevin and i "went to the lock-in." haha, well we actually went home to my house and he slept here. it was amazing, i've never felt so close to him. except now he's so far away. there's not much to say about that. i guess the whole... 17 hours (mas o menos) i had with him were... indescribable. well, how about one word. ohbaby. haha... i am lame, yes i am. but i just feel so lucky that i got to wake up and see the person that i want to be with foralongtime lying next to me. it's the only solid comfort i've had in a while. umm, so then today i realized that i also have the best friends ever, and i would die without them. or to say the least, i'd be very lonely and depressed and lacking a lot of happiness, while also being completely oblivious to that. i hope i never lose these memories. in general... i mean, yesterday/last night/this morning with kevin, and all the memories that i have with PPP and whingus especially. i'm learning to count less and less on my family, not because they don't love me, or support me... but because they don't know me, and don't realize they don't, and frankly, don't want to. for example, mom ordering a car service to pick me up from elyce's today because she was too busy with her new job, which really is not as strenuous as she implies. i felt so unstable leaving PPP's house. i don't know what i'm talking about, though. i need to write everything down in a handwritten journal. because i don't know who reads this. i really think i should make it friends only, cuz then only whingus and i would see it, and that doesn't pose such a threat. anyway, i'm gonna go do homework and cry some more. may 8, 2004. rememberrrrrr todayyyyyyy... wow. v-viii-mmiv... i know roman numerals. :B 2 hidden |go seek

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