adonka donk donk   
12:42am 19/04/2003
  just felt like updating over here...allergies suck..especially right now in new jersey..

ron and fez rule

i need painkillers

not enought time in the days.
 
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bitch fest 2003   
01:45pm 25/02/2003
  why are my nerves so fucking short lately..like people are really aggravating me and annoying me..and instead of taking the time to work things out i just get them out of my life and fast..it's kind of like i don't need NEW friends in my life when all they're going to do is add stress and frustration. i don't call people every day, i don't hang out with you all the time..i'm always here for you, i always will be here for you if you're my friend..i'd jump over the moon for you..but i can't tolerate someone smothering me and getting mad cause they aren't the center of my world..i am the center of my own world...i have to make myself happy and do me...i can't worry about making you happy all the time if i can't even make myself happy..man people are really frustrating me..if i say i'm going to hang out with you, or give you a ride or whatever..I"M GOING TO FUCKING DO IT..do not threaten me and say if youdon't, don't talk to me anymore..cause i'll do whatever it is i'm supposed to do..but i'm not talking to you again..i don't need that in my life..anyone can give me grief...it's people that don't that are special and i keep around..so fuck you people that are getting on my nerves..

also stop acting like you're in high school people..especially if you're 26. i'm dating this guy tom..strictly dating cause niether one of us wants anything more..he just got divorces, he's 28 and he has 3 kids...so yeah basically we're enjoying each other and not being with anyone else but we're hanging cause we don't feel the pressure of going steady, if you will...but we work together and there's this guy who really likes me..and his boy is friends with toma nd this boy...so he is in both of their ears saying opposite shit..he told tom just ot chill and let chriss kick it to me and see what i do..what i choose..then he tells chris to go for it and get me and fuck tom..then he goes to me and tells me how shitty he thinks tom is for me and i should go for chris and THEN me, him, his girl, and tom go for drinks and he knows it's just us and he apparently tried to call chris and have him come to the bar..now through this everyone knows i'm dating tom so chris is just laying low..but this kid is 25 and trying to start shit..it's stupid..i just want to have my good fuck and be with tom...drama is a muthafucker at the job man...it's getting not even worth it...i mean i am a flirt..and when i'm at work i basically have to tuck my tail in between my legs cause of all the shit talkers around...shady people...it's stressful.

and another thing..i'm a server at a restaurant..when we're out of shit..my guests do not want to hear that we did 6000 profit today and that's why we're out of lasagna cause we were too busy..they don't give a fuck if veal is backordered or if someone forgot to order ranch dressing..and thye sure as hell don't want to hear someone burnt all the bread and now it's proofing..they don't fucking care, they want what they want when they want it..and they should, that's why you go to a restaurant. if the kitchen fucks up..they're still getting paid by the hour...if they take 30 min for an app..or run out of foccacia rolls for the sandwiches...and just put it on a hero without asking..THAT COMES OUT OF MY FUCKING TIP...you still get paid..i don't..so unless you want us to start docking your fucking pay..order the shit you're supposed to..get the restaurant in order, and stop fucking up my orders...if i fuck up, which i do i'm not perfect..at least i'm losing my own money..it's my own fault i'm getting a shitty tip.. so don't even say "you fuck up too you're not perfect" no i'm not and niether are you..and i understand that..but some of you are FAR from fucking perfect and it's the same shit all the time..and I'M PAYING FOR IT..and that's frustrating when you should make 100 bucks but because you're out of half the shit, then the tickets take forever, then the food is fucked up, then the manager is in a pissy mood so he won't go speak to your pissed off table...there's not much you can do to make the guest leave satisfied.

headache..pee..nap..

i'm glad i vented that. feels nice
 
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numero uno   
11:59am 07/02/2003
  yeah..not much to say..i'm starting a new journal. livejournal is getting on my nerves and i want to update some things without dealing with livejournal, or any people in general.

work's been good, i've been working alot and busting my ass but i'm enjoying it. i starting dating a cook. he's so beautiful. i mean i just look at him and am in awe of how gorgeous he is. his eyes are mesmerizing...anyway i don't want to think about him, we're just seeing each other, enjoying each others company..niether one of us want any deep relationship so it's good we've already spoken about that stuff.

i have to work on this website but i need frontpage (cause i'm ghey and that's all i know to do..that's how i made my old uber hot site so leave me alone) anyway i'm doing this website for this hairsalon in manhatten. then i have my friend liza's site. she's a exotic dancer, and she also does modeling (non nude) and she wants a professional site to put her portfolio and shit on. so she's paying me to make her site..THEN i'm going to rebuild my site. i have nothing from it. i lost it all. so when the time comes i'm hoping my fans (if you would call them fans) have pictures of me saved so i can get them from them. so yeah i'll be starting from scratch and hopefully it'll be bigger and better. but that's niether here nor there.

shane's being a dick, he won't send me my last paycheck, or my w2's and he won't return my phone calls. i don't know what's going on..i want him out of my life so badly.

ron and fez have left nyc..well not actually left..so far they're only broadcasting in dc tues-thursday. but they are no longer on the air in nyc. i'm so angry..i'm so pissed..this makes me so sad. i miss them so much. i mean it hasn't really sunken in yet since i'm in south jerz and i ca'nt hear them here anyway, but i know they aren't there anymore..and rory's going to be moving down to dc..well he doesn't know yet, but i've got it set in my mind he is..and i'm going to miss him..things are just changing so much and i've been through too much change in the past few months i wasn't ready or prepared for this.

i'm tired...i have to work in the morn..then i'm heading to manhatten to go to the last hoorah for ron and fez...well we think it is anyway..hard rock cafe..tomorrow night around 9 ish...it should be fun, i cried at the last event at bar 9 so i think i'll be nice and drunk and unemotional. leo reserved a room at the hotel he works at and it has two beds so he's goign to let me crash there.WEEEEEEeee

so yeah i'm going to bed..it's been a long fucking day....oh wait ididn't tell my day.

last night i couldn't drive home from work cause my car was fucking snowed in and it was getting worse out. so i got a ride home from sherly..after hanging out wiht her and shit at the pool hall for al ittle bit...she was goign to pick me up in the morn and take me to work after her college classes..but her classes were cancelled and the roads were bad in her town (it's all back side streets in my parts) so she coudn't come...so i called work and toldthem the deal..my manager said don't worry about it if you ca'nt get in, but if you can i'd really appreciate it since everyone else already called out so i'd like to have at least one server on..so i call my dad who was coming over to take my sister out for her 17th birthday today..and he said he'd take me to work..so i get into work like an hour late..so i had no time to open up, and get stocked and ready for the day..and we start getting really busy...especially for only having one server on...i mad real good money today..like 110 bucks and that was like in 4 1/2 hours. but my ass was getting kicked at one point. my manager had to pick up a few tables. all the managers and general managers were there but no one else was...besides me...so it was fun but hectic..at least i got in their good graces too..i mean they already know i'm a strong server but being there today when no one else was got me in the good side. so yeha i'm pretty satisfied.

my brother found a pink WWJD nylon type bracelet in the hall way at school and brought it home, it's sitting on this comp desk..i think i'm going to wash it and wear it and maybe people will think i'm cool..huh huh huh

and my cousin heather did my hair in some ghetto twisties for me..cause she's cool ike that..and i have a headache right now cause she did them nice and tight.

okay really though..bed..now...poof
 
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