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i_WiLL_sPiLL_mY_hEaRt_fOr_YoU

[ website | my w!cked w0rLd ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[03 Jan 2004|07:07pm]
i am a traitor to blurty! MWAHAHAHAH ive switched to LiveJournal and im staying on LiveJournal! bwahahahah.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/blindxxanarchy/
1 ouchie|bite me

aloha joey in florida! [03 Jan 2004|05:53pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | Finch- 'Ender' ]

alright well joey left for florida this morning. and all i did last night was think about him. i had sum company over last night and all i wanted was for them to leave so i could cry about joey. and i did. i just cried like a stupid baby. b/c now i wont see him until summer time. i guess i'll never kno y he didnt come over last night but im sure his dad had a reason. and i kno he prolly tried to get here no matter what but sumthing must have come up with him and his dad. b/c on thursday night, all he kept saying was that *no matter what* he was gonna come over here. and all this week we talked about the stuff he was gonna bring over to keep us occupied. well his dad and my mom have been best friends since they were my age. and they r still best friends but we never see him, only at christmas. but i have these old pictures from like 10 years ago of me and joey and all the other parents drinking and partying LOL and i told him i was gonna show him the pictures of friday. well see, i havent seen him for almost 2 years. and ever since the christmasy holiday started, ive been wanting my mom to call them and have em come over so him and i can talk and bond u kno. so just outta nowhere they stop by on winter break. and knowing how nervous and shy i am, it took me 10 minutes to gather up sum guts to go and say hi to him. and my mom kept embarassing me right in front of him. but eventually we both finally talked and we had fun and i got his screen name. so all i did since then, was id talk to him from 11:00 to almost 3:30 in the morning. and i learned to find out he was as shy as me. so when my mom told them to come over the day after new years, he kept telling me i cant b shy and we have to talk. and he was saying he'd bring over pictures, drawings he did, sum dark poems he wrote, and his portable DVD player. and he was gonna bring Rage Against the Machine Live over on DVD and we were gonna watch. and he said he was gonna give me a recent picture of him for me to keep. and i was gonna give him my graduation picture. and all day yesterday, i was hoping he was gonna make it cuz i was so excited. but then again i had this really bad gut feeling that he was never gonna make it. and sure enuff they didnt. but when i talked to him online i really got to know him which was weird b/c i thought id never know him like that, since we've been so distant since we were little. but when i saw him last sunday he really changed since i saw him 2 years ago on christmas eve. and i changed to. he had a ramones shirt on :) and he turned punk. he was into all the heavy stuff like korn and things i like. but he was more into the old punk, and so was i kind of. but i am more into the *new* punk i guess he called it. but we just chilled in my room and listened to music and talked about it. ive never actually talked about music with sumone b4. ive just heard ppl criticize my music. but it was so awesome. and i had a mad crush on him to. which i told him online, and he said he liked me to. but he was saying we couldnt show it when our parents would b around on friday. but i never got to see him :( if i saw him, i was at least hoping for a nice hug and a kiss goodbye, which he prolly wouldnt care about anyways. b/c i mean, florida is so far away. i wouldnt b flipping out like this, if only i had a way to keep in touch with him. b/c i mean he has a computer at his mom's house in florida but she never lets him online. he needed a cable or sumthing then shed let him on. but he needs a job to get the money for the cable. hed better get his lazy ass out to get a job and get one! cuz i told him since im the laziest person in the world and i can get a job, that means he can. but mom said if i cant talk to him online, she said shed call big joey (his dad. they r both named joey.........confusing) and ask for his address. he'll think im a stalker! but it was my moms idea. i dont care. anyway that i can talk to him is fine with me. he reminds me of brad SOOO much. he almost looks just like him; the hair, eyes, face, skin; except he had a facial hair thingy around his lip. but i dont like facial hair. ewwww. but he told me he has a g/f in florida and he was saying hes still a virgin but he was gonna go home and fuck her. well yeah. thats also all i could think about last night. when he gets home he'll just go fuck his g/f and ::poof:: ill never talk to him for another 5 friggin months. but i hope i can find sum kind of way to talk to him. ::sigh::

bite me

i feel out of control and i dont know what i'll do [02 Jan 2004|12:12am]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | Hoobastank- 'Out of Control' ]

feeling sliced down the middle
all i feel is your pain
the screams and shrieking send chills down my spine
i swallow rusted thumb tacks
to sew my lips shut
these lips never to speak your name nor able to kiss ever again
the smiles you give make my stomach turn
your words make you ugly
my ears rip and tear from hearing your voice
keeping in my breathe
never exhale
remember the times you've ruined me
walking away making me feel black inside
choking down the pills
swallowing the saliva and bitting my lip
my burning heart yearns for healing
tonight i sleep with a gun to my head
peaceful dreams i'll most deffinately have
the sun has died today
the clouds comes out tonight and hide the moon
my arms are around your neck
grasping your throat tightly
never will i let go
give me a good reason why i should back away
the soft words you cough out make you powerless
memories that will soon never be
your death will soon become unknown
all i want is for your voice to leave my head
nothing can replace broken hearts
scars piece them together
i cry tonight
and you fall in love
tonight i am alone
and your picture will remain shattered
i hide in the corner of my room
the repulsive echoes and screams drift through my head
to hell you will be sent tonight
lighting up this match
and throwing it onto your bed
where you are laying asleep
sweet dreams my love


post a comment and tell me what u think...

1 ouchie|bite me

..hi [01 Jan 2004|06:55pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Brand New- 'Secondary' ]

y hello! i had lots of fun with sarah. jessie and kelly came over 2day and we watched bruce almighty. we watched it twice last night. i watched it b4 we went to bed, which was around 6:00. then sarah's mom woke me up and was teasing me all afternoon. she woke me up at 10! i got NO sleep. so i come home 2day and i feel sick because i am deprived of sleep and i ate too much! like the silly goose i am! the birthday cake we all had b4 i left wasnt such a good idea, but it was sooooooo fatning and good so i couldnt resist :) but anyways, i come back to this hellhole, that actually wasnt destroyed by the party last night, then i wish i could have stayed longer at sarah's. i realized how fucking boring my house is. its so pathetic. my mom is sick. we dont kno with what, but i give her NO sympathy. she's been sick forever and 3 days ago, she just decides to go to the doctor and get medicine. so she takes it for a day and half, then stops (which u cant) because of new years so she could drink. so after new years..... she feels like shit now. well fuckin duh u retard. u dont do that. now she just feels worse. and she makes me b her servant making me feel sorry for her. then she complains about how she does stuff for me when im sick. when im sick, i dont want ppl bothering me. i tell them to go away. so now she is canceling plans she had with ppl 2morrow because she doesnt kno if she is contageous with whatever she has and she doesnt wanna make ppl sick. so now i dont think ill b seeing joey at all. then he'll just go back to florida and ::poof:: he is gone 4ever and im all alone again! which totally sucks. i really wanted to see him again cuz we swore we'd talk more and do more interesting stuff. plus i have this mad crush on him. :-/ we have stuff in common which is strange cuz its hard for me to find that these days. and he meets my "characteristics" in a guy. i really have no life and im tired of it. im really tired and right now im just blurting out whatever is in my head. my mom said he could still come over and see me, but she doesnt want him sick. so really, nobody is coming over at all. but i sure as hell wont b staying here then. im really sick and tired of being alone. no matter where i go or what i do, im always by myself. the guy i liked at work...... i dont work now, and he prolly doesnt either. plus i never talked to him and he never talked either. so either way, trying to get 2 really shy ppl together is hopeless. here i go again complaining about how i hate my life. and its stupid whenever i do this because i usually argue over my parents and guys. u dont know what i would give to just have sumone here that i can kiss right now. id love to say their name but it aint happenin. i dont mind being single, i really dont. but after a while i just get so alone and rejected. i dont think ill ever find sumone who shares the same intrests as me and has the same exact characteristics as i want in a guy. when im not being a sucker for mohawks and spiked hair, i just fall madly in love with with the long dark hair. i hate the really really white skin. i luv the tanness. but all in all i am such a sucker for dark eyes. they r truely the best and i could stare into them for eternity. god, if only i could find the right person to make me happy and not cry. that would b the best. im tired of working my ass off to get ppl, and in the end it never works. so i'll sit here and wait for it to come to me. but every time i try, my open opportunity turns and runs the other way as fast as it can. and it fuckin sucks.

3 ouchies|bite me

and i just wanna get ur fucking voice outta my head [31 Dec 2003|03:00pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | A Static Lullaby- 'Love to Hate, Hate to Me' ]

Dear Skippy,
Here is your horoscope
for Wednesday, December 31:

The future is closer than ever. Cautious individuals are getting cold feet on the threshold of a major change. Step forward with confidence -- you're not going here alone.



hmmmm this morning at around 3:00 i DID step forward (total awkwardness BTW) but uhhh not really with confidence. anything with me n joey is nothing but awkwardness, thats our thing.

anyways, b4 i am allowd to leave this hell-ish place, i must b my mom's servant (or slave, same differnce) til i go to sarah's. ooooo we r gunna party and smoke weed and run around like munkies on drugs! it'll b super. oh and plus, her birthday is 2morrow. haa, she is over the hill. 19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hmm lets see, my plans this week arent really important. spending the night over sarah's, staying til around 4ish or 5 on thursday for her party, friday mom's friend joey and his son joey come over for new year's dinner (i think), saturday + sunday mom is making me help taking down the tree and everything in the house. grrrrrrrrr. i dont feel like doing that on my last 2 days of winter break! wtf. grrrrrr. ok anyways. i gotta split. cant wait 4 2nite ;)

bite me

the ultamate sex goddess at heart [29 Dec 2003|12:51am]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | Deftones- 'Minerva' ]

omg i am really hyper and bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we had company 2day. but when they all vacated the premises i escaped to miffy's and we played tony hawk underground and the spongebob game! and listened to hoobastank. then we walked to the corner store in our pajamas to find out it was closed. so we walked by jasons house and laughed our asses off! b/c his house is so fuckin bright. lol ....u should see it. anyways, then we went to dunkin donuts and got hot chocolate. and i guess u can say we bonded, and had sum heart-to-heart conversations about jason and luke being gay, and how way back in the day when nickelodian had double dare and legends of the hidden temple! then we moved our seat, i got sum iced tea and put about 6 packets of sugar in it and we we throwing ice in the air and eating it. of course i missed. but whenever she missed, it hit her in the eye and we just laughed so hard. we must have been on SUMTHING! yeah, then its freeeeeeeeezing when we leave so we came back and bothered ppl online! yay!!!!!!!!!!!! lol she was talking about me and luke havin sex. im like AHHHHHHHHHHH! lol altho that would b nice ;) i am in such a perverted mood! im asking bryan if he's wackin it. lol and he isnt answering so he must b. and i was telling him i like to eat hats! then edible underwear! and he said,"the taco flavored ones?" lol yeah............... dont ask. yep and im talking to joey. no not the crazy joey from skool, but another crazy joey. meh, and we r having such wonderful conversation! ::crickets:: ..............................yeah.. lol hmmmmm hopefully next time i see him, we will BOTH b not so shy. but i am always shy :( i cant help it. i am always known as the "shy quiet" girl. but if sarah or miffy knew that, they'd just laugh in their face. cuz they kno me as being high/retarded/goofy/hyper person. ahhhh now my hoodie smells like dunkin donuts :( ok well be sure to drink ur ovaltine!

1 ouchie|bite me

what i got for [C][H][R][I][S][T][M][A][S] ! ! ! [26 Dec 2003|03:35pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | The Starting Line- 'Left Coast Envy' ]

nightmare before christmas: pajama pants, wrist band, t-shirt, pins, ring, necklace, cologne, socks
chilly willy, the cat in the hat, thing1 & thing 2, flying penguin t-shirts
helly kitty UNO cards, punk kitty bobble, necklace, ring, pin, cup, stickers, shirt, penguin coin bank
bath & body works bath tub with bubble bath stuff and a really fuzzy seal
the cat in the hat onaments (im hanging on my ceiling)
Zits comic calender
fuzzy polar bear & peanuts pajamas
new alarm clock (which i needed badly)
cow slippers
pirates of the carribean, the matrix reloaded, the emperors new groove
flying pig sheets
tw!sted kitty from hot topic, with $50 gift card
pooh blanket
spongebob CD case
a bunch of socks.. including toe socks!!
candy :)
a little digital camera thingy
sexy underwear and a green bra :(
plus $20 from my grandmom, $25 gift certificate from my mom for the mall, and the $25 gift certificate from Sarah's mom for hot topic

1 ouchie|bite me

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