| ano ba ito? |
[09 Nov 2008|02:16am] |
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| Burn Baby, Burn |
[08 Nov 2008|02:58pm] |
I got the guy inside the room and immediately started to undress him. I told him I was going to take everything off. “Kahit brief?” he asked. I casually said yes. He started to cry when I began peeling off his clothes, tightly attached to his sensitive skin.
The guy was obviously in excruciating pain, and I couldn’t, for the love a deity, comfort him. It’d be hypocritical, and presumptuous to offer sympathy.
I’ve experienced pain, in one way or another. Who hasn’t?
He was inconsolable, and after a while, I got tired of hearing him cry. So I wanted to start a conversation. “Kuya, ano po bang nangyari?” I asked him. In between sobs he answered, “Inaayos ko po kasi yung kable ng Meralco… *sniff… eh hindi ko po alam… *sniff… livewire na po pala yung hinahawakan ko. *sniff…”
He said the next thing he knew he was already inside the ambulance unable to feel any of his extremities. And that after a while, he started feeling the pain. The burning, unbearable pain.
I felt stupid asking that question. What am I supposed to do now? What was I supposed to say?
Do I reprimand him? Remind him the old adage, when you play with fire you’ll get burnt, or in his case, when you mess with livewire, you’ll get electrocuted.
Then I thought, what if I tell him that I read somewhere, physical pain only last for 12 seconds, and the rest is self-indulgence. Do I time him? Oops, 12 seconds over, you should stop crying now.
Maybe I should tell him I knew how it felt, being in pain. I was burnt before, while lying down, smoking. The cigarette slipped from my clumsy fingers; it fell on my chest and burnt my skin. Then there’s the other kind of burn. One I’ve been replaying in my head, and I’m still trying to recover. But in either case, there was no scar to show, nothing to prove I went through that painful ordeal.
I gave up, I just went through the dressing in silence. Clean the wounds, put on the gauze, apply Flamazine. I just wanted to get it done and over with.
I looked at him, I thought, they’re all the same: livewire, cigarettes, boys… they will all burn you in the end.
*sniff
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