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Pthalo

[ website | House of Safety ]
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[21 Jan 2003|07:05pm]
[ mood | worried ]

i don't update this thing much.

wee it's an update!

maybe i don't need food. maybe i can exist on air.

my jaw hurts too much to eat anyway. two cans of ensure today and some oatmeal. 640 calories. no i added milk and butter to the oatmeal. lets call it an even 750.

i don't count actively, but i can always tally just like that, in my head. that'll never go away. you don't forget. you just don't.

this isn't an eating disorder this is jaw pain.

i think someone's coming home. i feel antisocial. and alone. the narrators put too much pressure on me. tell them to stop narrating my life.

maybe i should get back on my prozac and effexor and xanax. (yes i took all three at once, and they worked well for me)

momma doesn't want me on it. she's proud that i'm doing so well without.

oh dear.

momma brought home chicken. i'm in too much pain. and have an earache too. :(

am i making excuses? what's real? what's true? who am i?

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oh so cute [15 Jan 2003|04:00pm]
[ mood | touched ]

Noah's running around the house with a mask over his face saying "woooooo!" and I humour him by saying "oh Noah, you're so scary" and he takes his mask off and looks at me and pats my hand and said "I scared you Mehwin? I scared you? I'm sowwie" and he gives me a hug. He calls me Mehwin because he can't pronounce my name. and oh I just thought that was so sweet and sensitive of him. Even though I wasn't really scared and was just pretending to make him happy.

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[09 Jan 2003|08:07pm]
so things are going pretty well. had a nice new years. (sex!)
having my wisdom teeth out on monday. oh ouch. i'm scared!
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[02 Dec 2002|01:06pm]
im just waking up. boy, i'm sleepy.
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hi [14 Nov 2002|08:32am]
good morning. this is just a back door for me. yeah.
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