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[08 Aug 2005|10:57am]

brokendarkangel
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | Guns N' Roses - November Rain ]

Hi my name is Stella and im new here but um... my 7 year old cousin is being physically and emotionally abused by her mother and sexually abused by her moms boyfriend...and see we are in court now b/c my grandparents are trying to get custody but the courts are allowing the mother to tear them apart but everything that they try to use against her is either ruled hersay or erelavent... please do any of yall have any idea how we can help my cousin... please I thank you alot!

Stella

x .breathe. x

[20 May 2005|11:05am]

brokendarkangel
COME JOIN Stellas_World
ITS A PLACE FOR YOU TO SAY WHATEVER
x .breathe. x

im not exactly new here but i never did one of these [16 May 2005|11:04am]

brokendarkangel
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | 3 doors down - let me go ]

0. Do you cut? i did but wanted to about 3 weeks ago
1. Who do you hide SI from? everyone.
2. Who knows about it? depends if they dont want to believe does that count
3. How long has it been since you last cut? 1 year but i almost did it again 3 weeks ago
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? yes 2
5. Where do you usually cut? left forearm/ righ below the wrist
6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? my closest friends.
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? my friend grabed my arm and it started to bleed.
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? i pick them constantly
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? depends on what they are from.
10. Do you name your razor? once after my ex-boyfriend
11. What other methods of SI do you use? pain killers mixed w/ drinking
12. do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? yes
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? jewelry, clothing,
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? yes
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? no... my parents went through denial
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? softball games, when i dont have my bracelets
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? when i feel the release of the pain
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? adam's song... there are a bunch.
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? no
20. What instrument do you use to cut? safety pins, sissors, glass
21. What causes you to cut? depression, feeling like i have no meaning
22. What do you feel afterwards? relife
23. What is your closest Close Call? i took 1200 mg of vicadin w/ 4 shots of everclear
24. How long have you been doing it? since 5th grade.. i'm now in 12th.
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? no... i never made it obvious i used safty pins
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? once, but ive never gotten stitches
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? i did but my dad thought they were quaks
28. Are your parents divorced? no

x .breathe. x

if I can quit so can you... [16 May 2005|10:48am]

brokendarkangel
[ mood | loved ]

well i had buried 12 friends in a span of 3 years, 9 of those were in a 3 month period and the love of my life told me he didnt love me anymore ... and 4 months later i realized how i couldnt risk it and my friends couldnt handle another funeral... hell i couldnt handle another one even if it was my own... but then almost not graduating and my whole family giving up on me and tuning their back on me and saying that i was useless i guess... i was always a cutter not to die but the cutting just seemed to release the pain... so the urge just seemed overcoming... i guess its kinda like a drug, when you quit cold turkey you still sometimes feel the need to abuse it again... but i found my alternitive... he is my alternitive

thank you those who helped me realize this,
Stella

x .breathe. x

[06 May 2005|11:11am]

brokendarkangel
[ mood | confused ]

ok i havent cut in a year and 5 months... but last week it hit me and i just had the erge to do it again...not to die but release all the pain... and i dont know why it just came back


Stella

x .2 dying hearts choked. x breathe. x

[02 Mar 2005|05:32pm]

dark_love
My site, dealing mostly in self injury has been updated. If you would like to contribute poetry, stories, pictures, or anything let me know. E-mail me at: psychoxxsarah@hotmail.com
I am here to educate and learn as well. If you read the main page that I've linked you to, then you will know nearly everything you need to know about my site. This isn't for publicity because I want to be cool, it is because I have re-done the site, added to it, and hope for it to become a helping tool, as well as a learning tool for those who feel alone. It is only about self injury for now, but other mental health problems and medication information will come along as I am able to write them.
Thanks,
Sarah
x .breathe. x

hey guys, I'm Cindy and I just joined... =) [27 Feb 2005|08:38pm]

leftindadark
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | watching the oscars ]

0. Do you cut? yes.
1. Who do you hide SI from? everybody except the ppl that know and I'm comfortable w/ them knowing
2. Who knows about it? yasi, my mom and maybe 2 or 3 other people
3. How long has it been since you last cut? a week and a half
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? yea but it didnt work =/
5. Where do you usually cut? on my thighs, stomach, and wrists
6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? yasi
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? it wouldnt stop bleeding
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? yes..i love to pick at them
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? yes
10. Do you name your razor? no but I feel that its like my best friend in a way because its always with me when I'm hurt
11. What other methods of SI do you use? scratching and digging my nails into my skin..idk if thats SI tho
12. do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? not really
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? jackets sometimes, and pants...sucks to live in florida
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? sometimes
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? nope
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? yea..somehow every1 seems to be staring at me when I change
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? i love my dark red blood...i love watching it drip down my body
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? yea i heard this one from slipknot..i don't remember the name tho
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? no
20. What instrument do you use to cut? a blade i took out from my razor
21. What causes you to cut? sadness, self-hatred, my choices, losing friends and boyfriends, anger, fights, feeling lonely, having deep thoughts, almost anything
22. What do you feel afterwards? relief...and a desire to go cry in my bed for the rest of the day..but sometimes i regret it...
23. What is your closest Close Call? i haven't had one
24. How long have you been doing it? for about more than a year
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? sometimes...
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? only one time on my stomach
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? well I just got one but I don't like her so I'm not gonna keep going to her..
28. Are your parents divorced?no

well that's it. My names Cindy, I'm almost 13 and I live in Miami, Florida. I hope you guys accept me here. =).

love,
cindy

x .breathe. x

[21 Feb 2005|04:23pm]

_darkdreaming_
i'm a newbie ... here's that quiz thing we're supposed to do.


0. Do you cut? i used to
1. Who do you hide SI from? i hide my scars from everyone
2. Who knows about it? my family
3. How long has it been since you last cut? 3 weeks and 1 day
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? sure have
5. Where do you usually cut? ankles, calves, wrists and thighs
6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? my mom
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? i passed out
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? not really
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? yep! war verterans always show off their scars. well, these are MY battle scars!
10. Do you name your razor? no
11. What other methods of SI do you use? i used to throw myself against walls and punch myself.
12. do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? oh fuck yes! i hate it!
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? bracelets, long sleeves, pants etc.
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? yep
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? ya, for a week after i got out of the emergency room.
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? sometimes, ya.
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? the relief i feel
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? ya
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? never
20. What instrument do you use to cut? razors only
21. What causes you to cut? just about anything
22. What do you feel afterwards? complete relief
23. What is your closest Close Call? i passed out accidently once, but usually my "close calls" are on purpose
24. How long have you been doing it? since last july
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? i used to, ya
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? i needed them, but i've never had them
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? i used to, but then i moved and didn't bother getting a new one
28. Are your parents divorced? yes


i wanted to join this community cause i liked the name. i'm in whycut already, but i donno. they aren't really that supportive of people who have stopped cutting.
i was in a psychward for a week after my big suicide attempt. i drank a 26er of vodka and swallowed all the pills in my bathroom. a bottle of extra strength tylenol and a bottle of midol.
they put me on anti-depressants and sleeping pills cause i'm a complete insomniac.
well, now you know me.
i'll start posting regularily if that's okay...
x .breathe. x

[12 Feb 2005|09:11pm]
helpmekillme
have not been here in months. i miss this.
i have the worst scars on my arm. they will never fade. ever. its been a month since i last cut there. and the marks will not leave. i miss it.

unfortunately i am going away with my parents over break to florida. and i need to cut so badly. what do i do???

how can i hide it in a bikini?

help please
x .1 dying heart choked. x breathe. x

[07 Feb 2005|12:52am]

dark_love
http://www.cmt.com/artists/az/larsen_blaine/artist.jhtml
Go there and watch the video "How do you get that lonely", you have to scroll down a little. Here are the lyrics. I heard it on my way home from Kent last night... It is a good song, very sad though. This guy was born in 1986...

How Do You Get That Lonely Lyrics )
x .breathe. x

Writing in Blood [27 Jan 2005|01:25am]

borderlineschiz
Picking At Wounds is an Anthology of poems and short stories that will tug at your heart strings and chill your bones

Picking At Wounds ~ BUY IT NOW

I got published Hope people like it!
x .breathe. x

[22 Oct 2004|02:42am]

x_riddle_box_x
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | :::Wish I had an Angel::: NightWish ]

0. Do you cut? At times....
1. Who do you hide SI from? my family....
2. Who knows about it? no one really anymore. I hang out with somewhat new faces now.
3. How long has it been since you last cut? about 3 weeks ago....
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? tried....
5. Where do you usually cut? my arms....
6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? ummm my little sister....
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? worst expiercings....
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? not really....
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? yeah
10. Do you name your razor? not razor, saftey pen and not really it's a different one every time
11. What other methods of SI do you use? tattoo and piercings....
12. do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? nah it's okay.
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? jewelry, long sleeved shirts, and nothing/
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? at times.
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? no.
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? no.
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? the pain.
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? not that i know of...
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? once almost
20. What instrument do you use to cut? Saftey Pen
21. What causes you to cut? doesn't matter....thoughts, bordem, pain, memories, thoughts....
22. What do you feel afterwards? want more pain
23. What is your closest Close Call? when i went to cut my wrists....
24. How long have you been doing it? seven years
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? saftey pen on my jeans at all times
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? don't really know.
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? did, but now, no. people see my one major scar now and ask me about it....
28. Are your parents divorced? no, but i think soon they will.

x .breathe. x

yeah... PS [24 Sep 2004|04:28pm]

calamity_pants
New questions?? Ehh ... if not... I'll just refresh your memory.

0. Do you cut? ALWAYS
1. Who do you hide SI from? ONLY "FRIENDS" AND PEOPLE I SEE EVERY DAY
2. Who knows about it? MY BOYFRIEND AND PEOPLE WHO CATCH A GLIMPS OF THE SCARS
3. How long has it been since you last cut? ... A HALF HOUR AGO
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? HAVEN'T WE ALL?
5. Where do you usually cut? mY RIGHT ARM OR MY TUMMY
6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? MY BOYFRIEND
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? IT WAS A DEEP ONE ON MY TUMM AND IT RIPPED OPEN WHEN I WAS LAYING ON IT ...IT REALLY REALLY HURT.
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? NO... I HATE THEM
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? yES
10. Do you name your razor? NO
11. What other methods of SI do you use? SCRATCHING, BURNING
12. do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? VERY MUCH.... MUTILATION.. BAD WORD
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? SLEEVES, ARM WARMERS AND
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars?JUST PLAIN PUTTING MY ARMS BEHIND MY BACK.
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? LETS NOT GO THERE
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? I HATE HOT DAYS... BIG PROBLEM WITH CLOTHING CHOICES
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? hUMM... THE BLOOD, THE SCARS... AND LETTING MY FRUSTRATION AND PAIN OUT
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? i DON'T REALLY CARE
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? UH HUH ....OFTEN
20. What instrument do you use to cut? iT USED TO BE A SEWING NEEDLE, THEN A RAZOR , NOW ITS A KITCHEN KNIFE
21. What causes you to cut? WHAT DOESN'T ?? THATS EASIER TO ANSWER.
22. What do you feel afterwards? SO MUCH BETTER...AND CALMER
23. What is your closest Close Call? LETS NOT GO THERE
24. How long have you been doing it? WELL MY EARLIEST MEMORY WAS WHEN I WAS IN THE 4TH GRADE... AND I AM 22 NOW SO LIKE 12 YEARS.
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? NO
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? NEEDED YES...
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? i USED TO
28. Are your parents divorced? NO... THEY SHOULD BE:o)
x .breathe. x

ho hum... [24 Sep 2004|04:13pm]

calamity_pants
[ mood | cold ]

okay, well it has been quite sometime since I've posted here in psychward. Lets see... whats new with me? Well hummm ....lets see here...its been MONTS since I've posted here so I SUPPOSE somethings have changed. The last time I posted I would cut like once or twice a month ... and it would be small. Then I had sort of a break down... and I cut my self up pretty good. Now I cut at least once or twice every week. I am a little disappointed in my self because I told myself that I would cut on my right arm....and I've been cutting so much that there is not a spot left on my arm for me to cut on... so my problem is should I move to another limb? I mean i've been cutting on my tumm all along... but not nearly as much as my arm. And there is no way in hell i am going to stop cutting.. unless it is just one last slash of my wrist:O) .... hummmm ho hum for me....

~Amandah

x .breathe. x

[04 Sep 2004|10:03pm]

hateddarkangl
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | My Life- 12 stones ]

I feel so sad. I tried to cut last nyght on my thigh and it wouldn't go deep enough, just little scratches. -sighs- Everything is so wrong! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!
I feel like the monster is coming back up inside me. I want to start yelling and screaming at the world, but I can't. All I can do is paint a smile on my face and go from there. No one can see me breakdown. No one ever has seen me breakdown in person. THe only person to come close was Nick. Even then I didn't, he could only hear the hurt in my voice. Sarah is one of the only people thats heard me break down.

I hate people, they left me. They left me and I hate them. Sarah told me she would never leave me, but I haven't talked to her in almost 2 months in person or over the phone. I hate it. I hate Adrian, because I can't do anything else. I hate Nick for leaving me alone again. I hate Brian for not being here either. I hate everyone because they have everything that I'll never have. They have eternal friends, friends forever. I have nothing, I have people that come and go, but in 10 yrs, I won't be remembered. Why not solve that problem now?

Someone once told me that if I killed myself that I would be missed, but people would get over it. Everyone always gets over it, its a fact of life. Should I prove that theory? Everyone has their own life and I'm not part of it sadly. I'll never be part of anything, I'll try to fit in, but I'll always be on the outside looking in. I'm a horrible monster for everything. If you need someone to blame, blame me. I am at fault. I do not want pity, I do not want people to feel sorry for me, I want to be happy.

I want smiles that are real, I want to have this weight lifted off my shoulders, I want to stop lying to everyone and myself, I want to be carefree and have my only worry be what my hair looks like at the moment. I want that...I FUCKING WANT THAT!





*Hide my bloody bones, steal my sweet breath, wrap me in plastic, and savor this sweet death*

x .breathe. x

[19 Aug 2004|11:02pm]

razorsharptears
0. Do you cut? who doesnt these days
1. Who do you hide SI from? everyone
2. Who knows about it? my boyfriend, and two of my best friends. other people knew.. but that was years ago.
3. How long has it been since you last cut? august 10
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? yeah
5. Where do you usually cut? my wrists, my leg, my shoulder
6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? whoever sees.. which is usually my boyfriend
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? i stupidly cut when i was at school and when i went back to class i realized there was blood all over my skirt.. and there was absolutely nothing i could do about it
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? not really
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? yes
10. Do you name your razor? no.. does anyone actually do that
11. What other methods of SI do you use? biting, burning, etc. etc.
12. do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? not really
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? clothes and jewelry.. i seldom cut where anyone can see
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? no reason to usually.. only i see them
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? not specifically. i ODed.. so i guess yeah
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? when my mom wants to go shopping and stay in the changing room with me
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? theres a best part?
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? yeah
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? yeah
20. What instrument do you use to cut? razor, knife - whatever
21. What causes you to cut? myself. only i am responsible for my own actions.
22. What do you feel afterwards? regret and shame
23. What is your closest Close Call? with cutting? my wrists, obviously.. especially when one didnt stop bleeding for hours on end. -shrug-
24. How long have you been doing it? itll be 5 years on the 25th.
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? yeah.
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? probably needed them. didnt get them
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? supposed to.. but i dont ever go.
28. Are your parents divorced? no
x .breathe. x

Survey for you [16 Aug 2004|10:19pm]

hateddarkangl
0. Do you cut? yes
1. Who do you hide SI from? Everyone I can
2. Who knows about it? Few close friends, but some think I'm done
3. How long has it been since you last cut? 2 days
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? Yes ma'am
5. Where do you usually cut? Legs, arms, thighs, stomach, pelvic area, wrists
6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? Sarah Fisher maybe
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? I ran out of superglue and it was deep, so I had to stitch it up
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? yeah, I like picking them
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? yes, alot
10. Do you name your razor? no
11. What other methods of SI do you use? burn, bruise sometimes, broke my arm on purpose once
12. do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? no
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? Bracelets, long sleeves, pants, hoodies
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? sometimes
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? no
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? Yes, gym, swimming
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? It gives you the rush, the release, I love it, sometimes...
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? yes, lots
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? almost
20. What instrument do you use to cut? razors, saftey pins
21. What causes you to cut? My parents, people at school, society
22. What do you feel afterwards? guilty, horrible, good, depends
23. What is your closest Close Call? When my mom walked in and I was taking apart a razor
24. How long have you been doing it? since I was around 8
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? yeah
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? yeah, give them myself sometimes
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? I had a therapist once
28. Are your parents divorced? no.
x .breathe. x

[16 Aug 2004|01:45pm]

burnmysmile
for the past several years, every time i get in my mania, i burn a smile into my skin.

24 and counting
x .breathe. x

for the moderator: i'm new. [16 Aug 2004|01:30pm]

burnmysmile
0. Do you cut? yes
1. Who do you hide SI from? everyone.
2. Who knows about it? everyone.
3. How long has it been since you last cut? last night was the first time in 6 months
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? four times
5. Where do you usually cut? anywhere covered by clothing
6. When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? only someone who sees it.
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? my mom saw blood and pulled up my sleeve.
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? i pick them constantly
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? depends on my mood.
10. Do you name your razor? no, i dont know anyone who does.
11. What other methods of SI do you use? anything you could think of.
12. do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? not really.
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? jewelry, clothing, makeup
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? for awhile, yes
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? quite a few times
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? summer, pe
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? there is no best part
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? yeah, a lot of joj stuff.
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? yes
20. What instrument do you use to cut? razor, glass, anything with a sharp edge.
21. What causes you to cut? depression, suicidal feelings, confusion
22. What do you feel afterwards? same as above
23. What is your closest Close Call? my wrists, i cut to deep.. it wasnt a suicide attempt but thats what everyone thought
24. How long have you been doing it? since 5th grade.. i'm now in 12th.
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? yes, always
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? a lot of the time, but ive never gotten stitches (even in the case above)
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? no
28. Are your parents divorced? no
x .breathe. x

[23 Jun 2004|02:32pm]

ibelieve
do you think that depression leads to pessimism?
do you think pessimism influences the strength of depression?

...
xposted
x .breathe. x

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