| horrible day! |
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| 03:50pm 20/04/2004 |
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mood:  crushed music: wheatus
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i am failing chemistry with a 68 on my report card!!!! I"LL NEVER GET INTO COLLEGE NOW!!!!!! and i will have even less of a life than i did before cuz my ass is gonna be grounded for eternity!!!!!!! i lost a speech ws and got a 0 on that and i saw found out will was goin out with allysa and my heart dropped into my stomach and then my stomach fell out........... it is all making me sick! i am really starting to hate people expecially mr jordan!!!!!! that fucker but yea today was horrible...i really have nothing else to say bout today... emily doesnt hate me n e more so i am grateful for that...that has been probably the only good thing that has happened so far this week.ok MML l8r |
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| 10:48am 17/04/2004 |
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Yesterday i spent the night at crazy's house and we went to see ella enchanted...it was a pretty funny movie but yea...other than that it was pretty boring yesterday. |
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| 07:30pm 15/04/2004 |
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mood:  distressed
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Today was horrible. Thats all i can say right now. |
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| to Nin and everyone else |
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| 08:33pm 14/04/2004 |
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mood: suicidal music: i'm sorry...so sorry...
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I just read the posts from my other shit the other day...I'm sorry Nin...i know im a bitch...i've just so scared because you are the one that can hurt me the most...and if i diserve any shit from anyone it is you. i'm sorry nin i love you you are my sister. please dont hate me. if you hate me i really wont have anyone. nobody else really matters...you are my family...I'm so sorry for all the shit i put you through...i'm sorry to everyone else too i dont mean to be a bitch im so sorry...please dont hate me... |
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| yea |
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| 07:58pm 14/04/2004 |
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mood:  flirty music: making the video new found glory
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Well today was a pretty good day for the most part. I did good on my speech which is a first and probably last hahah. I got away with cheating on two big tests! hell ya and i learned how to say lunch in french german and spanish (well i knew spanish but yea) french: J'adore de'jeuner german: Ich liebe Nachmittmich Spanish: Me amo almuerzo yay! i luv lunch!!! it is the only reason i get up in the morning and go to school. it brightens my day unless my friends are sad or im having a really bad day. mr jordan is a dog eating fucker monkey in a tutu and a tie! lol but its ok. my teeth kinda hurt...n e way...one of my good friends best friend moved today. she was crying all day long and her x was happy all day long and her boyfrend was pissed all day long. i think it is bullshit for her x to be happy and her boyfrend to b mad. her x should feel bad because a bunch of his frends are sad about it and her boyfrend can be a lil pissed but it isnt like he was gonna marry her or nuthin...as a matter of fact i wasnt gonna give it another month. i luv you amber!!!dont be sad :( ... i need to act...i'm having a craving for it! i luv acting and i havnt had a chance to yet!!! ahhhhhhhh!!! im gettin desperate...im even thinking of going to try again at the roxy with the father fucker gay guys.( i would say mother fuckers but they are gay so it wouldnt work) I am in a wierd mood...i dont know what it is....im jumpy and hyper and sick and horny and i dont really know but it is wierding me out. speaking of wierd i luv my wierdo!!!! too bad ur a fucker though u stupid wierdo.
:-* 555 7108 is the number of the chik on the train in the dentine ice commercial lol. well i guess since im already talking about stupid shit im gonna split. sorry again to everybody who read my thing yesterday which im sure was alot of people :-/. MML l8r |
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| ....... |
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| 07:58pm 13/04/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: gay Brittney Spears shit
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Nobody loves me everybody hates me i think i'll go eat sum worms...I luv you Nin i'm sorry and I luv you too kitten i dont mean to doubt you guys im just paranoid. i luv you guys...i'm so lonely...and confused...i wish someone would call me haha...i've sed that shit b 4.i'll try to be nice from now on but i cant promise n e thing cuz when i get pissed i like to write to release my frustration...im sorry...i probably just made more people hate me haha but oh well it doesnt matter n e more...l8r |
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| i hate everyone |
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| 04:11pm 13/04/2004 |
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mood:  enraged music: Beach Boys Kokamo
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everybody can go to hell since they are all trying to send me to my own. you are all fucking bastards. why do you all hate me so much??what the fuck did i do to you?!?!?! i dont diserve to be called a fucking whore it is bullshit to spread fucking rumors that im a whore. IM NO FUCKING WHORE! but then again maybe i should live up to ever fucking bodys expectations and be a fucking whore. they all hate me anyway right? well let me tell you something you stupid pigs what you're doing is bullshit and even though u think you are helping me by saying it is gonna be OK ITs NOT GONNA BE OK so you are all fucking lying to me or you dont give a shit! you are all going along with this bullshit that is going around...at least i know who my real friends are now... heh yea friends... what are friends? peoiple who are nice to you? people who say they care? everybody fakes it to make themselves look or feel better! everybody is only out for themselves. Guys out just to get sum ass or make themselves look like bad asses and girls are out to make themselves look better by puting everyone else down. you can put people down without words, all you have to do is think that you are better than them are think they are stupid enough not to see through your bullshit lies and see that you are really just as low and selfish as every other fucking person in the world.Well i guess im gonna go i dunno why im telling you all the truth since nobody ever wants to tell me the truth. FUCK YOU ALL except for my friends...which at the time seems like: Amber, JD, MOO,Jax, Michaela, maybe Nin but i dunno still...im so afraid she is trying to fuck me over and that will hurt worse than anything, and maybe Randall...but im afraid she is out to get me too...so thakn you to all the people i have listed...you are the only ones that have been true to me i luv you guys...there may be others i didnt mention that may be considered friends but im too pissed right now to think of people i like. l8r |
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| no one is here to talk |
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| 11:39pm 07/04/2004 |
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mood:  lonely music: ONE IS THE LONIEST NUMBER THAT YOU'LL EVER DO...
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WTF it's only midnight and nobody is online!!!!! ITS SPRING BREAK!! EVERYBODY SHOULD BE ONLINE!!! haha well i'm sure people are online ... just nobody that wants to talk to me heh heh. All of my frendz are probably out getting shit faced and im stuck here all alone...Nini is out watching the jesus movie with her mama and im all alone...it sure is lonely being all alone...well i got dumped again...it was a semi-short relationship this time though. hahaha i mean really if you r gonna dumb me have a reason AND evidence to prove it! U STUPID FUCKER I WAS NOT CHEATING ON U WITH TOMMY!!! althogh now i wish i was! i dunno why it makes me so mad... maybe because i could have cheated on him with tommy if i really wanted to...(yea right maybe NOT I MEAN I HAVE NO MOTHER FUCKING CHANCE WITH THE LIL FUCKER SO YOU ARE JUST SHIT OUTA LUCK MUTHA FUCKA) i have paint all over my hands cuz ive been painting yay!!! i love being add that way im not pissed off for very long lol hahaha yea right i wish i had add although i act it sometimes i sadly dont have it to back up the stupid shit i do and say.oh btw the party i had a while back was pretty awesome i guess...i didnt get shit faced...maybe a lil tipsy but not shitfaced sadly...Will has a new gurl which i am proud of him for GOOD JOB WILL!!! JD is a sweetheart u better not be mean to her! :-D Jakey POO!!!! haha he is my buddddddy haha i wish he was my buddy cuz we would have fucked already lol haha cum to think of it i wish alotta guys were my buddy. HAHAHA I WISH TOMMY WAS MY FUCKING FUCK BUDDY YOU MUTHA FUCKER!I HATE DANCES i dunno why the fuck im going to prom...heh i guess cuz i have a lotta frendz going...heh frendz...what is a frend? im not even sure if i have frendz n e more...Nin is my frend i guess...but she thinks im a whore...like a lotta my so called frendz...moo is my frend...but she is in china...well at least these people here in c ville that are pretending to be my frend are nice to me...im sorry for being a whore everybody...although i dont think im a whore ... therefore im not a whore...because u are what u believe you are...and so i guess if you believe that you arent something...then you're not...you know how they say that you can be whatever u wanna be...thats the biggest bullshit i have ever herd...i wish i was smart...i wish everyone wouldnt think i was a whore ... not that i care what they think it just pisses me off...i feel frankie from the real world...i understand why she does it...i guess it is best for her to stop...but it is hard to stop...i know it is hard to stop...but i did it so she can too...so why doesnt everbody just stop...stop being fuckers (unless you're fucking me) haha but really...it isnt very nice to call people whores when they aren't whores...if i had sex with everyone i wanted to then i would be a whore but i dont so i cant be one...wow i've gone from happy to mad to blah to sad...hahaha im a fuckin mood machine just poppin 'em out by the minute. i wish my phone would ring...i hate being lonely...these jolley rancher jelly beanz suck...hmmmm lemme think of sum good news so i can start the cycle all over again! lol ummm i got my ears pierced again (woohoo a big acomplishment for me...the pperson with no life...that cant get n e thing pierced...or go out at all... or n e thing) lol well NIN is here im gonna go MML l8r |
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| Im still here... |
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| 07:24pm 31/03/2004 |
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mood: distressed music: AFI Sing the Sorrow
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Yea...so i'm still here. woohoo. yea but ne way life is the same boring thing...i just felt like chekin in with my buds that i dont get to see every day and say yea im still here... i'm in a wierd mood...i feel like writing a song haha...well yea but ok.
Sitting, watching, waiting
as always been rating
the stupid things i see all day
i guess i just stopped in to say hey.
why i wrote this i dont know why
so i guess im gonna go. bye. |
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| hola!!! |
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| 03:40pm 19/03/2004 |
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mood:  cynical music: Simpsons Muzik
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I AM SOOOOOO TIRED!!! I woke up late for school and so i missed i went to bed at 5 this mornin and then woke up at about 2 this afternoon...PARTY TONIGHT!!!!!!!! hell yea i cant wait it is gonna be kick ass! I'm gettting bertter at the stick i drove down dover road a lil bit last night...but there wasnt much traffic so yea.i saw chris yesterday he is still kick ass! and i chilled with will and kevin yesterday too lol and amber too! Im hopin to see a bunch of people tonight like chika hed and jakie poo and all that shit lol WE ARE HAVING PIZZA TONIGHT!!!!!!! WOOHOO but yea i better go git shit ready. MML l8r |
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| :-D ALL SMILES!! |
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| 03:58pm 10/03/2004 |
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mood:  ditzy music: This can't be love
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I have had one of the best days in a REALLY LONG time it has been wonderful and i am kinda gloating in it at the moment cuz i am waiting for a plane to fall on my hed or sumthing because it is me and i never have good days :-D i have a new sn for all my buddys so ask me for it when u see me...I luv everyone right now i am so happy :-P i'm all giddy and shit it is pretty funny. i need sum alcohol stilll that would probably be the only way this day could get better ... wwell i could probably think of other things but that is good for righht now . i am getting pretty far into my book (Dark Desire) that is a kik ass book u should read it :-D i luv that kinky vampire sex muhahahahahahhaha now i'm starting to look at people different though cuz im like what if they're like that llol bbbbbbbbbbbbut yea i am really hyper so i'm gonna go i just have one last thing to say besides my evil baby rules all...................GET 'ER DUN ( i'm obsessed but it's OOOOOOOOOOK) MML l8r |
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| at Randalls...hehe |
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| 06:56pm 06/03/2004 |
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mood:  sore music: Closer...NIN
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hola, it's m again. I'm at Randall's house,my kitten...haha. We're gonna have fun tonite *meow*. Anyways, I fell off her horse, into mud muahahaha. Yeah, I just wanted to say hi. *wvaes*
l8ter |
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| any boys want to call my sister she is good in bed (i've herd) |
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| 09:01pm 01/03/2004 |
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mood:  giddy music: Gay Newlyweds shit
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YAY I'm back!!!! u know you missed me!!! i am watching inferno right now woohoo... well turns out Valentines day wasnt so FUCKING bad hahahahaha. I still want to FUCK and get drunk and FUCKED up. Emily went to the Linkin Park concert last night along with everyone else but me damn it!!!! Awwwww i luv my buddy Daniel he is my buddy!!!! i havnt talked to him in along time and i talked to him today and now i'm all giddy. Michael got raped last weekend LOL. i'm thirsty!! ( You know you want my hot sister emily, she wants you too) yea that yea... I'm getting my license tomorrow!!!!! fina-fucking-ly i've been 16 for fucking ever and it's bout damn time!! but yea if i do get it i will be getting a pretty white mustang i think a 2000 but i'm not sure. :-P my armpit hurts lol i have seen this degrassi episode a million times and i am just jabbering on and on adn on like a wierdo!! muhahahaha but maybe i am a wierdo!!i am drinking water and that is amazing!! i NEVER drink water!! OOOOOOK a few things to "The One" first of all do i know you or are you some stupid FUCKING wierdo that i've never met before in my life? and two your rhymin sux dude u need to work on ur FUCKING shit. n e ways onto other FUcking shit! (Jerry FUCKED your FUCKING sister) I am reading this FUCKING awesome Romance novel about vampires and it is kick ass! I'm thinking about joining track but i dont think i will. :-P OK i've gotta Kelly song for everyone...it is in the process of being made so yea it isnt finished...
I looked outside
I looked all around
I didn't see your car
so i started to frown.
I knew you had left me
for good this time
so i dried up my tears
and i started to whine.
KELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why'd you have to go?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
KELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you left me all alone!!
Now i'm here
and you are there
Kelly what you did
just isnt fair.
THats all lol that was by Emily to our X neighbor Kelly. lol you will see how much we are obsessed with our obese X neighbor. we love her so much...it is hard for us to live without her! LOL We've written a million songs for her. I luv you Kitten!!! i will hopefully see you this weekend so we can ahem...talk ... lol jk jk jk jk n e wayz i got sum kewl CDs last week i got The Crow soundtrack 2 ICP CDs and Disturbed Believe. they are kick ass! Well i'm sure i could say more but i am bored now and i'm gonna go to bed. MML l8r |
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| I'm FUCKING here again |
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| 10:17pm 09/02/2004 |
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mood:  jubilant music: Until the day i die by story of the year
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OOOOK the play is this thursday and friday for all u losers that wanna come see it. it will be a funny ass play cuz im gonna be backstage having sex screaming oh baby yea and you are gonna be laughing at that not gay michael being a stupid bitch. i am in a good mood ever since someone stopped talking bout sex with me and Michael isnt hittin on me n e more YAY!! i am back to being hyper and horny 24/7 !! woohoo. I am still not talkign to Doug cuz he is a bastard. and im still not talking to Jake but we arent at eachothers throats constantly either. Malfesto and i are talking again woohoo (just dont molest me n e more k jk jk ;-P) unless you get me alcohol then i will think about it but im not promising n e thing i just said i would think about it.OH yea whoever "the one" is you can blow me u stupid son of a bitch cuz i am gonna tlak about FUCKING whenever the FUCK i feel like it and i ALWAYS feel like it so u gotta problem with it dont read my shit dumb FUCK!speaking of FUCKING it is a wonderfulk thing isnt it? teasing is too! and dirty dancing...and all that good shit. I went to the military ball last saturday...it was ok (there WAS alcohol in those drinks) but the muzik FUCKING sucked. I am dreading and counting down the days until Valentine's day...what the FUCK is valentine's day n e way??? another stupid FUCKING day where everyone can brag about how wonderful their life is and mine (and others like me) isnt. I mean how shitty is that??? I have like 3 long nails...they are pretty :-P i like them n e way. yea...im gonna FUCK on top of michael's car and laugh when he comes to see me muhahahahahahahah jk jk jk awww that is so mean...btw sorry for beatin on michael in this entry im just venting and taking out my hostility on him...I could probably say more but i need to do gay homewrok that i never do as always. so FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK and FUCK everyone and be happy you FUCKING FUCKERS!!! BTW spiderman's taped glasses were so cute awwww. |
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| a pretty good day i think |
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| 08:45pm 03/02/2004 |
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mood:  sick music: thump thump in my hed
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YAY!!! today was a pretty good day for me today...well i guess it was...i mean it wasnt shitty like friday and thursday of last week.ya know to tell u the truth i havnt had a good day in such a long time...i kinda forgotten what a good day was like.OK i know all my lines for the play YAY no Mr Klein up my ass!!! haha i got into broadcast journalism (i hope biscuit eater did too so i will have a frend) and yea i thinki that is it...well it want bad...Doug tried to talk to me this morning...he probably wanted our son back...but fuck him i'm gonna keep the lil fucker for ranson muhahahahaha jk jk ill probably just hang him from Doug's door with a shitty note around it's neck. blah...i feel like i need to cough...im probably fuckin sick damn it!! I gave up on Peter, i dont have a chance with a nice guy like that...and for whoever the fuck is writing that im so fickle shit, i dont like him cuz he is hott u lil shit, i like him because he is nice to me, one of the only guys that is nice to me and doesnt stare at my boobs the whole time, or isnt trying to bone me. I'm not suppost to be here right now, im suppost to be doing my homework but i dont want to. :( blah i hopw tomorrow is as good as today :) maybe things are starting to look up for me...or maybe i was just feelin so shitty friday that the nicest little thing seems wonderful to me...i swear im starting to hate guys...im really thinkin of goin lez cuz it just isnt worth all the torment...well i better go before i get too tired to move again...I NEED TO FUCK!!!!! and i am fucking serious as i can get...i am sexualy frustrated, if i get sex everything will be better. lol OOOOOOK MML...l8r |
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| uuuuuuuh huh |
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| 08:23pm 02/02/2004 |
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mood:  crappy music: the get your homework the fuck done song!
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HOLA! yea today was another day...doesnt really feel like it but it is...i have so much shit to do this month and it fucking sux!!!!! i have tcap tomorrow,ACT this saturday(and the military ball but that is a good thing),the play is thursday the 12th and friday the 13th (hell yea horror movies baby!!!!!),Michael's bday is thursday the 12th, and i gotta keep my grades up! DAMN IT, IT IS TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!i have a shit load of homework to do blah!!!!....last Friday was the worst day of my life...i lost two of my guy friends and was worried all weekend that i would lose my kitten over one of them...today i may have worked it out with the wierdo...i didnt want to but i didnt wanna tear my kitten apart cuz we wanted to bitch at eachother...i have to admit jake is pretty hott when he is pissed...truly i would love for him to hit me and mean it....ewwwww that would just be funny as fuck! a couple of my friends have wierd vibes that Jake and I are gonna get into a fist fight type thing...i dunno if he would really hit me or not but hey whatever...I love you Will...be happy!! my fuckin finger hursts and i cant pop it!!! i need to get drunk and fucked up and fucked all at the same time really bad!!!!!! can anyone help me with that?!?!?!?! grrrr... kitten im comin over and u better have sum liquor. Tongue rings are wonderful but the guys who have them are asses!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrr...well ya i actually got acquainted with Doug's girlfrend...she seems like a really nice chik...im glad he didnt get with sum stupid slutty bimbo...not that i should care cuz he is an asshole and wants me to go away so ya...i guess im gonna go i could probably say more but i gotta do homewrok so EVIL BABY RULES ALL!!!!! L8R! |
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| hola |
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| 01:28pm 24/01/2004 |
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mood: crazy music: buzzing of computer beside my hed
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HOLA im at jessica's house and we are suppost to be doing our art project. shhh dont tell. peter is hott and i love tongue rings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wish i was drunk or fucked up. or fucked. one of the three would be nice. ok thaTS ALL FOR NOW. MML n peace. |
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| ok |
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| 07:50pm 14/01/2004 |
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mood:  accomplished music: KORN!!!!!!
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OOOOOOOK today was pretty good amazingly. we took our exams last week and they sucked but i did ok on most of them. i had to get my damned teeth cleaned today and missed most of chemistry and was confused. lol.kitten hurry up and go out with jake!!! if you do then all my guy problems will disappear.i like both jake and bubbles but bubbles got a girlfrend so i cant go out with him, doug and his girlfred are really close so yea, if you go out with jake then he will stop toying with my emotions and everything will be better cuz then i can go out with peter (if he asks me out) and everything will be great cuz im not hurtin n e one and they arnt hurtin me.(sorry michael i luv ya too but u rnt really a problem of mine) yea so i saw peter today he is a sweetheart!! awww and doug statyed after school with me today awww and jake is telling me the truth awww. and bubbles has always been awww. lol. yea well im switching from aol to walmart so i will have to change my sn so i wont be talking to a few of you for a while ok...i gotta go copy sns for the stupid shit.MUAH to all of you!! |
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| Not Done Bitchin Yet |
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| 08:37pm 05/01/2004 |
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mood: jubilant music: im beatboxin with the computer and sumthin else :)
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OK I'm soooooooooo bored and i dont wanna go to bed even though i should cuz i'm tired...by the way i'm fallin for a guy i want to hate but cant and it pisses me off!!!!! and i'm NOT goin out with Dustin!!!!...i am freezing and i didnt like the jelous hampster it wasnt pretty so i'm just gonna pick a word i dont know and see what it is. normally they are kewl when i dont know what they are.i saw guy with the kewl pants about an hour ago at walgreens. JESSEE STOP CALLING ME YOU ARE GONNA GET ME IN TROUBLE!!!!!!! yea... i feel sick and need sumthing to drink...Nin should be home soon from her game..hope it was good nin... im cold....burrrr.i have a kewl pink skirt lol hahahaha i would wear it but it is too cold.. it is funny cuz it is really not me...but i like it n e way.i think nin is home...i dunno i cant tell.this keyboard is too damn loud. oh yea Doug u really pissed Brittney off! BE NICE U FUCKER! n e way...my tongue hurts...i luv u kitten!! and moo and jax!! i'm havin wierd dreams l8tly it is wierd...yea...some are good and some arnt but hey...well i'm gonna go get sum drink and go to bed i guess...i dunno...nin when u get home come say sumthin to me ... i need comfort...i dunno y though...heh. MML n peace |
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| HOLA |
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| 08:22pm 05/01/2004 |
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mood:  jealous music: Go On?? Good Charlotte
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HEY I"M BACK!!!! muhahahahahaha...OK it was snowing earlier yay!!! yea and i am really outa it.i have slept probably a total of 9 hours in 3 days. lol maybe less. :-P i havnt eaten much either which is really abnormal...so i've been really depressed lately, it fucking sux.i would say a lot more things than i'm gonna say but my fortune cookie says keep your plans to yourself so i'm gonna try to follow it's tips even though i dont follow n e one elses tips. i realized lots of things last weekend...and one was that i'm most likely gonna be alone when i'm older cuz i can never stay in a relationship. and it is ALWAYS my fault that the relationship sux. ALWAYS!!!!!!!!! so i've decided to live in the tank at China Star with the big ugly white fish because it is all alone (like i feel) while the other two pretty black and white fish are having fun with eachother... Manda and Jareth are gonna stay together forever...but i thought that about other friends of mine...i truly hope they get back together. they were meant for eachother...the chik will never find another guy that has treated her as well as he did. (everyone knows who i am talking about) I lOVE YOU!!! :-* Dont be sad...you will be better eventually...if you guys dont get back together then it isnt worth frettin bout you WILL find someone... So ... love ... that is a strange topic...something that i quite frankly do not take part of or believe in...i did at one time...but i'm not sure if i do anymore...it just seems every guy i like ...like someone who is better than me...so right now i have a very low self esteem(sp) and i just feel insignificant and stupid...alot of things that has happened over this break and today has made me hate people more than i already did... they seem so damn inhuman...but i really have no right to judge right? i dunno...i need to get drunk...or something cuz life doesnt feel too great right now and i would LOVE something to numb the pain.l8r |
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