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Wednesday, June 11th, 2008
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10:24 am
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I'm at my new job and I like it here. I don't have much to do at the moment so I figured I'd write an entry..
They have me doing cool stuff here.. like, typing wills and letters and copy jobs and filing. It beats being bored...
it has been extremely hot outside. definitely some global warming taking place, haha. lastnight I drove to the outlets to try and find my sister and my cousin birthday presents... but I had no luck.
While I was driving home, the sun was going down, and it was so pretty. pink and blue, clear sky, then it starting lightning really bad. but without rain.... the sky was beautiful I wanted to pull over and take some pictures. haha. I love weather.
I just drank a coffee and now my stomach is hurting... it's always hurting anymore.
I'm wondering when I'll feel better. I've been feeling okay but slightly depressed, like why am I here and what am I looking forward to kind of thing.........
really though. what am I looking forward to?
current mood:  apathetic
current music: Blind Melon - No Rain
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| Friday, May 30th, 2008
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9:24 am
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Well today's my last day at Sterns & Weinroth.... on my lunch hour, I gotta go to DMV to pay my fine.... (my license is suspended). how gay. anyway let's talk. so last weekend me and Laurbar went to nyc because my sister was away in florida..... we had a lot of fun and met some cool ass kids. well actually she had met them before, and I met them for the first time.
the one kid chris who she is 'talking' to was actually really cute suprisingly. and his friend (chemmo?) was bangin. we sat on my sister's roof and drank champagne and talked. there was also this really sick art festival in union square that we chilled at for a while. I wanted to buy some art but the cheapest thing there was like $245.. and yeah.....
I seriously drank way too much that whole weekend lol. then me and laur got ourselves into some trouble... but we worked it out (kind of)
we came home on monday. I was mad bored so I went with eric to look for some pills. we found some, bought some, then Paulina called him to go to seaside and I decided I wanted to go since I had nothing better to do........ so yeah I went to seaside with Paulina, Amanda, Shipe, and Jess Cooper. mad random. but it was fun lol the beach was pretty. we smoked twice in Chuck's backyard even though Chuck wasn't there lol. and there was some weird explosion on the ground that bugged everyone out. I think it was a piece of glass that broke but I don't really know how........
then this whole week I've been working and shit. I went out to eat about 3453 times.. Wednesday me and my mom went to Delorenzo's for lunch..... bangin....... then at night we went to 130 south and ate. well actually I ate, she just drank a couple glasses of wine lol. then yesterday (Thursday) some girls from work took me to Antonio's (right over the bridge in PA) for my 'leaving' lunch. It was delicious I think their food is so good. then lastnight me and my dad went out to eat! so seriously....... I have been out to eat a lot lol.
oh yeah and today we're going out to lunch again for my aunt's bday. a place called 'chicken & waffles' lol
let's see what else..................... oh yeah I bought these prescription sunglasses, they were like $330 and I don't even like them. how fucked up am I lol. but seriously..... I want to return them because I doubt I'll ever wear them.
I was 32 minutes late to work today. on my last day. hahah who cares though.
lastnight Liz, Frank, and Joe Vena picked me up pretty late and we uhhhhh drove around. I seriously love Frank, I have a special place in my heart for him.
me and liz got dropped off at jackie's for a hot minute..... and yooooo, she is seriously is out of her mind.
OH I forgot to mention that my effing phone broke!!! honestly, what is my problem with cell phones? anyway so I'm using my dad's cell phone which is like a nokia from 1999. it gets the job done though......
what else can I say! well it's Friday. which is like 'universal party day' or whatever but I don't feel good at all. I honestly wanna go home, watch a movie and fall asleep.
well, my new job starts on monday......... so wish me luck..... it's pretty much the same shit only a smaller office. and closer to my house. I really hope I like it though. my current job is way too fucking boring.
current mood:  bouncy
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| Friday, May 16th, 2008
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4:21 pm
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writing in here yet again....
So at lunch today I went for a walk, (in the rain) and got my shoes all wet. they're still all wet and there's nothing worse than wet shoes! (and socks)
anyway I'm goin tannin after work, I hate tanning lmao. the only time I like tanning is when I'm high, other than that I get bored. plus it's a waste of money. I'm just gunna go get some basic color until summertime comes and............
let's seeeeeeee, The family I babysit for is going away tomorrow morning for a week. so that means I'll be off next wednesday which is pretttty effing cool if you ask me. I haven't had a (weekday) off in forever.........
that's the day I have my job interview too
yada yada, let's see what else I can say..... bonaroo is coming real quick (life is actually passing real quick) and I still don't have my RV pass purchased lol. I'll do it though. I mean honestly I don't even know what the fuck we're gunna do I think you plug those things in? and they get like electricity? Who fucking knows (not me not me)
ummmmmmmmmm I hardly EVER smoke cigarettes anymore. I know you're proud. I sure am.
nothing else to say. nobody reads this so I think I'll mention the fact that I have been extremely horny all day........ jeeeeeeeeeez I need a boyfriendddddddd
current mood:  horny
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10:07 am
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it's nice being out of high school and finally 18 years old. no pressure to go to school or do well or make something of yourself..... heck, I could quit my job and be a bum if I wanted to :). haha I could never do that though. all I'm saying it I feel free and I feel like this summer is going to be awesome. the past couple of weeks actually have been. I have a new outlook on life and everything seems brighter and prettier. I'm trying not to think so much (atleast negatively).
Anyway the future is cool to think about, I'm still young and can do pretty much anything I want. Gotta make a plan. but I'm not in a rush to do that, I'm just in a rush to enjoy myself and my lifeeeeeee!
alright well that's enough with my hippie bullshit, honestly though, life is refreshing
oh how I love springgg
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| Thursday, May 15th, 2008
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10:02 am
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yeah SO ANYWAY just wanted to say that I love life, I really do. and I mean, even though it's all bullshit, it's sort of all we have.
I mean honestly, when you're alive you can experience things. you can laugh and cry and think and dream and fall in love. life is a gift and our world is (or can be) a beautiful place. if you take time and smell the roses, everything is great. and exactly the way it should be. it's the only way it can be because it's the only way it is. you know what I mean?
I used to feel like things were supposed to be different.. but that's just a lie I told myself.
I just want to enjoy life from here on out. no more buggin no more depression no more drama no more bullshit no more people doing whatever it is that people do.
live the life you love & love the life you live
current mood:  happy
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| Thursday, May 8th, 2008
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3:04 pm - journal babyyy
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Alright well..... my last day at Sterns & Weinroth is May 30th... which is a Friday. I called about a job on Whitehorse Avenue as a receptionist at a different law firm.... my aunt told me about it and recommended me soooooooooo
I think there's a pretty good chance I'll get that job. How funny is it that I'm always getting new jobs???? hey it keeps things interesting.
sooooooo anyway. today my mom drove to New York to pick up allison because she's sick. so yeah. she'll probably come home and spread the love<3 (and the germs)
uhh I joined this really cool website. I can't really explain it but I mean if ya wanna join it tooooo I'll give you the link. it's all these forums about music and beliefs and drug experimentation and ya know. cool stuff to talk about.
my stomach hurts
I was gunna go down to Chuck's beach house this weekend but I don't think so anymore. I keep telling him I'll come I'll come I'll come every weekend (plus I wanna get my tattoo!!) but then the weekend comes and I'm just not feelin itttt
a bunch of people have beach houses this summer. so that'll be cool.
I went tanning and got burnt and now my face is peelinnn you know what I'm sayinnnnnnnnn
current mood:  full
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10:56 am - I wish that for just one time u could stand inside my shoes... you'd know what a drag it is to see u
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okay so......... I've been reading people's myspace "about me's" and noticing that way too MANY individuals put things like..
"I've been to hell and back, and it's made me stronger"
"Chances are I've seen more shit than you have"
"I've had a hard life, don't fuck with me"
..... whatever other bullshit people have to say.
Let me start off by saying this:
if you live in America, and have a computer, you have it better than 90% of the world!!! honestly, what the hell did you 'go through'.. a bad break up? back-stabbing friends? There are people out there who don't even have running water!!! Who don't know how to read or write, and will never, ever have a job or any means of income. there are starving, cold children out there, who have been through a LOT more than you have!!!
people honestly make me sick with their self-loathing bull shittttt
ok enough complaining.... byeee
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| Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
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4:56 pm - updating
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HELLO DEAR BLURTY!!!!!
I'm updating and writing a realllllllllly long entry. maybe.
okay so life? two nights ago I hungout with Liz and Pat. Then Liz and Frank. Then Liz and Jackie. I got extremely drunk, drank a bottle of vodka and a 40, went home and puked. THIS WAS A BAD NIGHT. Liz was crying. I was puking. just BAD.
So then.....
yesterday I worked
today I worked
TONIGHT I'm going TANNING, so my skin will stop being so pale and dumb.
goodnight<3 I mean goodbye.
time to leave work, I'll write more later
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| Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
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10:00 am - i am depressed.
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... and keeping myself cooped up in my room for weeks at a time isn't going to do me any good. It's hard........ my motivation is at an all-time low.
Anyway, here is a quote that I like <3
"People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, there may be jealousy; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you have anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Theresa
perfect.
current mood: blank
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| Thursday, February 21st, 2008
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12:40 pm - (optional, for use on longer entries)
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well, i want to update since i'm sitting at work (extremely bored) and have nothing else to do :D
hmmm, let's see.
well it's 12:40 and i get relieved to go to lunch at 1:00. i really need to pee. i hope i can hold it for 20 minutes!
so let's talk.... uh, last friday night i fucked up my mom's car! drunk at 3:30am. nice right? well whatever. it's at the shop and it should be done soon so.....
trying not to worry about it.
i worked a super lot this week! it's cool though. i'm getting tan, because i've been going tanning....
the end.
current mood: blah
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| Friday, January 25th, 2008
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10:40 am - you cant always get what you wannnttt
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I work at a law firm now, (sterns and weinroth) ~ and that is where I am right now.
Uhhhhh, I just ordered a digital camera online :) and I can't wait until it comes. I also ordered a dress and a Smashing Pumpkins CD.
I heard on the radio lastnight (93.3) that radiohead announced they are touring in the US, and one of the venues they are playing at is in the tri-state area!!!!!!! So yeah, I'm definitely going. Even if I don't have tickets. I will go there and try to find them. <3333333
so anyway back to my life. I go to work everyday, come home and nap for about four hours, wake up & do laundry & cook dinner, then go back to baed. Wake up at 6, leave for work at 7. Repeat.
I don't even know if I have friends anymore.
I
Want
My
Digital
Camera
To
Come
Today
current mood: calm
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| Thursday, October 4th, 2007
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9:03 pm
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la deee daaaa
worked 4 hours at 130 south today, then 4 hours at massimos.. made some money. today is one month till the cruiseeee <3 yayy i'm about to go get ready, smoke a dutch, and posssssibly get drunk because i got no work tomorrrrow.
monday night i got extremely drunk (i think it was monday? or maybe tuesday) and i don't even remember driving to wendy's drive through and ordering food with kansas. lol.
then wednesday (yesterday) i worked a double (mad gay) then yeahh.
why do i keep using parentheses? (they are mad gay)
hehe.
i'm hyper i drank too much espresso at workkkkk
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| Monday, October 1st, 2007
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6:16 pm - if you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues
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i'm watchin parental control, and i was wondering why all the parents talk so much shit on their child's current girlfriend or boyfriend? and what do THEIR parents think about it? lol.
today i'm not going to work because i'm really tired. i'm calling frank trying to get shit but everything takes forever and ever.
this weekend was boring. life is boring
boring
boring
boring.
saturday night was tina green's bday and apparently she drank a whole bottle of liquor after not drinking for an entire year, and just got really really sick. i didn't go out, i just slept because i was realllllly reallly tired.
and i burned my arm at work by accident.
i'm going on a cruise on november fourth wooooo hoooo
current mood:  drained
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| Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
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4:34 pm - gayyyyyyyyyy4ev
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it's 4:30 and i have work in 30 mins at massimo's....... (training)
i already worked all day so i'm sort of tired but like.... i'll live. i went to the gym two days in a row and ate really healthy todayyyyyy so yeah. i'm tryna lose 10 pounds.....
my head hurts and my room is a messss...
i have a 10mg vicodin that i got and i think i'm gunna take it after work. i'm nervous i never took one of those beforeeeeeeeeee!
i hate driving around my dad's car.
i hate the cats in my dad's house.
i wanna see ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
and that is all for now because i gotta go to work
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| Monday, September 3rd, 2007
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3:31 am - yeah we are far less than we knew
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today was okay.
i went to my aunt's house for my birthday party.. only i was disappointed because they got rid of their trampoline!!! apparently someone fell through the middle of it, (how scary)
my aunt made this really good lemony cake with cream cheese icing and it was bangin. i like anything lemony.
i was supposed to go to a party with lauren, dan, carlo, calen, and tom.. but i decided to stay home. i've been really anti-social lately.
tomorrow is labor day. i told my younger sister i'd take her school shopping because my dad's still "recovering" and can't bring her.. so yeah.
my ears are itchy and infected. my face is sort of broken out. i gave myself an uneven haircut. and yeah.
i need a daytime job.
i'm really tired. it just came out of the blue i feel like falling asleeeeeeep
current mood: content
current music: bright eyezzz
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| Saturday, September 1st, 2007
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1:30 pm
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I've been jobless for about three weeks now, so I didn't have money to get a car... but it's all good.
tomorrow my family is all going to my Aunt Sue's house to celebrate my birthday <3 <3 <3 so that will be nice. I like my aunt's house because she has a really big trampoline. And a pool and stufff..
Allison moved to NY officially, so now I have her room. I put my PS2 in there, and have been playing lots of videogames and watching lots of movies. I'm a loser, whatever. I put up mad posters and bought really comfortable bed stuff.
Lastnight I randomly just drove to Amber's house to see what everyone was doing. i just smoked and left. Everyone is tired from work/college, and I'm just tired from getting an overabundance of sleep.
I wonder if I spelled overabundance right or wrong
current mood: calm
current music: t h e d o o r s s
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| Thursday, July 12th, 2007
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11:16 pm - help me if you can i'm feeling down ..
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i want to update this thing just to remind myself of everything i do and everything i seeeeee.
today i worked from 10:30 to 8:30.. it was beat and yeahhhh. i bought a heady off of phil and i like it alot :) he gave me a ride to work since i'm carless and rideless all of the time.
tomorrow i work 8 to 4, then i'm partying... then saturday morning my family is all going to my gram's house to have a little graduation party thing for me. that will be cool. i'm making pasta salad and deviled eggs. i love deviled eggs.
i want to get a car. i don't know what i want tho. gee's getting a 2007 mazda something... lucky bitch. i don't even want a 'new' car tho.
all i really want right now is a haircut. my hair is way too long i feel like a hippie.
i'm really happy that tomorrow is payday.
lastnight liz picked me up at like 12 because i wanted to smoke...... then we drove around and picked up frank and nick kinney.. and met up with jackie. jackie is so funny. she makes every story she tells 2348 times more dramatic than it has to be. she is crazy but i love it.
the air conditioner in my room is leaking water so like....... i have to keep putting towels underneath it. how gay is that.
let's seeeee what else i can i talk about.
oh yeah, i live with my dad now. its gay here.
i'm sick of hamilton. i've been sick of everything for a while now. what are ya gunna do?
current mood: calm
current music: the beates
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| Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
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3:38 am
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so, tonight i promised myself that i'd go to bed early.. and i did, at like 11PM, and now it's 3:30am, and i'm up.
night school is going really good. it's so simple. i got so much work done already :)
i take my driver's test on thursday. i don't know why they made me wait? and i don't know why I failed the first time. I thought I did alright. anyways, let's hope i passssss this time! ..... (it's not like i have a car anyway)
i'm watching rocko's modern life. so funny.
i really need to buy new razors
i have the biggest crush on this kid in night schoooooooool and don't even know why! he's the cutest tho.
i can't wait to get my wednesdays back at work, i neeeeeeeeeed the monnneyyyyyyy.
i have 1400$ saved up.
okay i'm going to try to go back to bed.
current mood: gay
current music: jimi hendrix
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| Saturday, June 10th, 2006
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12:24 pm - how I long to be found
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Lastnight I watched Scent of a Woman.. what a good movie.
My life is being gay lately I don't know why. I feel gay. like there is nowhere to go and noone to see and Yeah.
I think tonight I'm going to force myself to hangout with people and drink, just because that used to be a good time. maybe it still is.
current mood:  anxious
current music: talkin' world war III blues...
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| Monday, May 22nd, 2006
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12:14 am - i am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together!
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okay well my weekends have been so gay now for like, a month. ever since i started working and having to wakeup at like 5..... it's dumb.
yesterday i slept all day basically when i got out of work. then i wokeup at like 9 and tony and shipe came over and brought me cigarettes and smoked me out.
anyway, my mom comes home like an hour ago, so drunk. i haven't drank in like weeks. and i don't reallllllly care either.
i rented garden state like twice on iO to watch it.... and i fell asleep both times. so yeah. i need to drink like nine cups of coffee and then put it back on apparently.
MY MOM IS TALKING TO MY DOG. and is so calm and drunk and i just have this undying urge to smack her. i can't help it...... i'm a bad person.
i wanna go to the beach. i want a tan. i want a boy. and i want new sneakers. and then i'll be happy forever i promiseeee!
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