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Saturday, September 27th, 2003

(2 said "oww" | Bitch Slap Us!)

Time: 12:25 pm. Mood: annoyed. Music: X Files theme.

Alright. så yeah , Jeg er fremdeles i live. Meg moder gjorde ikke hilse på meg for døren med en annen papirkopien bestille. Innerst inne alt hva jeg kan fikk å gjøre var kaste bort meg whore " klærne ie. lort ja nettopp kruse opp , revet - bortsett fra jeans hoodies etc. ) og Jeg er begrunnelse for for en uke siden. JEG fremdeles ikke gjør det overveie JEG did alt galt og den absolutt var ikke verd gjør meg avreise huset for , hva enn. JEG formodning alt alright. Meg tanten kommer over dags dato D. egentlig , hun burde være her over alle minutt , hun alarmert om for en time siden ordtak hun var opp på henne vei. Meg mom innforstått å ta meg handler for lort som erstatning for det det hvilke JEG fikk å utrydde. Det er i orden. Duuuuuuuuumb hyggelig hoodies! Og oh yeah Michelle er aldri får henne Uavhengig hoodie rygg. like noen gang! JEG elske den for mye. JEG stemning madd smart dags dato også fordi JEG ferdig alle meg hjemmearbeide. Selv om det gjør ingen forskjell , og I'll rettferdig havne i tilværelse kjedelig idet fuck fordi Jeg er begrunnelse kassaskuff neste Søndag. KK , Jeg er gonna gå. JEG wanna slutten meg bestille. Siden folks. e I r E n meg * elsker * deg

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Subject: but then i think about the time that we broke up before the prom nd you told everyone that i was gay Time: 5:57 pm. Mood: confused. Music: bleeeeeeep.

When I say 'HEY' you say 'HO' "HEY!" "HO!" Now when I say 'FUCKING' you say 'BITCH' "FUCKING!" "BITCH!" All together now! Oy... So now, all of a sudden, my mom thinks I'm this gigantic slut. Haha..all because, get this, DEVIN, of all people and I were laying on my bed talking. She comes in (...without knocking) and gets this pissed off as fuck look on her face. Then of course, to make it better, I have an appt. with the shrink tonight, who seconds my mother's thoughts. Fucking annoying as bloody hell. And we start having this arguement in the shrink's office about how I dress "too provacatively"...yeah fuck you..and that I'm "acting out sexually". Alrighty then...I just wanna scream "MOM!!! YOU FUCKING RETARD! DEVIN'S A FUCKING QUEER!!!" Oh well..whatever. I'm bored..and horny..and lonely..and ahh!! I HATE BOYS THEY'RE SO DAMN CONFUSING!! And High School, I hate High School too, roar. God damnit...haha, ok think positively, maybe its not that bad...right, I am somebody...I matter...People will be attracted to my positive energy and strive to help me to achieve my goals...I am right where I am supposed to be and.....NOT DYING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT! Peace 143 eRiN

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Subject: Sorry, babes, another survey..its particularly interesting though, haha.. Time: 6:04 pm. Mood: awake. Music: Nada.

I got this in the mail today, thought it was amusing, why not post it?:: ok, so i wanted a sex survey and i looked around online and i couldn't find one so i said i'll just write 1 myself so i came up with 100 questions, and some of them i got the ideas from other surveys, so if it's ur survey that i got a q from then thanx and it works like any survey, copy and paste it into a new email (dont 4ward it) and send it 2 a bunch of ppl including the person who sent it 2 u. sound easy? it is, let's go, lol. BASICS 1. what's ur first name? Erinmarie 2. male or female? Both.. 3. how old r u? Eleventy thousand 4. what country or state do u live in? Piedmont, North Dakota 5. would u say ur straight, gay or bi? I wasn't aware I had to declare a major... UR BODY 6. describe what u look like physically: Um..short, medium length brown hair, blah blah blah, there's a picture of me like 3 entries prior to this, c'mon people, don't be lazy... 7. ok now guys, how big is it honestly? and girls, how many fingers can u fit? Umm...enough, lol. 8. and if u haven't told us already girls, what size r ur tits, and guys, r u cut or uncut? I don't have that much to work with guys/girls, sorry! 9. and how big r ur nipples, and r they pink or brown? Normal 10. what's ur fav part of ur body? Umm, I like my lips and my hands, and uhh, I dunno, I guess my stomach 11. what's ur fav body part on the other sex? Chest, Lips, Back, and the dick isn't so bad either 12. what's ur fav place on ur body 2 be kissed? Neck 13. do u have any special names 4 ur privates or what do u call them? Haha...nopers 14. do u shave ur pubic hair, trim, wax, have a racing strip, leave it natural or what? Shave GETTING PERSONAL NOW 15. do u masturbate (don't lie now)? I did before I lost my virginity, but not so much anymore 16. how often do u masturbate? Rarely 17. how many ppl have u slept with? About 5 18. how old were u when u lost ur virginity? 13 19. who did u lose it 2? A boy...lol 20. do u regret ur first time? Nah, it was pretty good actually.. 21. do u have any other sexual regrets? Um...yeah, but please, lets not go into them 22. have u ever had sex with a virgin? I don't think so 23. what's the biggest age difference between u and someone u've had sex with? 5 years 24. how often would u have sex in an ideal relationship? Hahaha, um I guess..on a good week, about 3 times, perhaps four, you mustn't forget now, I'm still in school, school is hard, and yes, I know other things are too, but sometimes its just a question of priority. 25. and when was the last time u actually did have sex? Last Saturday...:( 26. when was the last time u had an orgasm? Last Saturday 27. have u ever had a 1 night stand? Not in so many words... 28. what sort of contraception do u normally use? The pill..condoms...the usual 29. have u ever had phone sex? Nah 30. have u ever had cyber sex? Haha, yeah, as a joke 31. have u ever devoted a whole day 2 sex? Haha, I wish 32. lights on or off? I guess it depends, I like when yer fucking kinda like in the morning and you have the shades down and like the whole room looks kind of blue and surrealistic...yeah, its nice lol 33. do u prefer 2 give or receive oral sex? Receiving is always fun, but as long as I'm in the mood, I don't mind giving it 34. do u prefer oral sex or normal sex? I dunno, I guess it depends on how I'm feeling that day 35. do u prefer giving/receiving blowjobs or handjobs? 36. do u prefer eating/being eaten or fingering/being fingered? Same answer as #34 37. girls, have u ever used ur tits 2 get a guy off, or guys, have u ever had a girl use her tits 2 get u off? Haha, as I said I don't have that much to work with 38. what's ur fav position? You'll just hafta find out, won't you.. 39. what's the most number of positions u've used in 1 sex session? I think 5, or maybe 4, I'm not quite sure 40. do u like sex best rough, gentle, fast, slow, or how? Look to #34 again.. 41. do u get turned on by pain? Uh..it depends on the degree of the pain 42. have u ever tried anal sex and if so did u like it? No sir, and I don't really want to try it either 43. how do u feel about sex when u or ur partner is on her period? Icky... ORGASMS AND CUM 44. girls, have u ever or do u ever fake orgasms? Haha, yeah sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do..I was just trying to make him feel good bout himself...and, whatdya know?! He did! Girls, when yer boy's happy, you should be relatively happy..not to sound all like sexist or anything lol..i don't mean it in every single way that it can be interpreted. 45. what's the most number of orgasms u have had together, or in one sex session? 2 I think 46. can u cum from just having sex? Usually 47. what sort of orgasm do u normally have (do u moan, pant, gasp, scream or what)? Haha, I'm pretty quiet.. 48. spit or swallow? Umm...it's yet to be determined 49. girls, do u like the taste of cum, or guys, do u like the taste of pussy? I don't mind it horribly, but its not the nicest thing in the world either, ya know what I mean? 50. have u ever tasted ur own? Haha..in a way, I guess 51. what did u think of the taste? I dunno 52. what's the kinkiest thing u've ever done with cum? Haha, um, I try to handle it as little as humanly possible MOSTLY HAVE U EVERS 53. have u or do u ever look at porno magazines? Si, I have 54. have u or do u ever watch porno videos? Si, tambien 55. have u ever watched a live stripper? Noope 56. have u ever watched a live sex show? Nooope 57. have u ever used toys during sex? Not toys, per se, but stuff, yes lol 58. have u ever used sex toys on ur own? Nah, not really 59. have u ever used another object that wasn't really a toy during sex? Yeah 60. have u ever used another object that wasn't really a toy on ur own? Nah 61. how do u feel about talking during sex? Um, it can be good, but sometimes it can be distracting 62. r u usually loud during sex? Nope 63. have u ever woken up somebody else in the same house when ur having sex? No sir 64. have u ever had complaints from the neighbours about ur noise during sex? Nope 65. have u ever been given open praise 4 ur sexual technique? Haha, yeah, makes me happy lol 66. have u or do u ever think about other ppl when ur having sex? Occasionally 67. have u ever called out someone else's name during sex? Nope 68. have u ever had sex in a car? Yes 69. if yes, was the car moving? Nope 70. have u ever had sex in the water (pool, ocean, etc.)? ...no? 71. have u ever had sex in the shower? Nope, but its something I kinda wanna try 72. what's the strangest place u ever had sex? Um..no comment 73. have u ever had sex at work or school? No 74. do u ever roleplay in the bedroom (i don't mean online lol)? Not really LOTS OF HAVE U EVERS…LOL 75. have u ever used food 4 sexual purposes? Nope, but food is good. 76. have u ever had a 3some or any sort of group sex? Yeah 77. have u ever had sex with more than 1 person during a 24-hour period but not at the same time? Thats a negative 78. have u ever had sex with other ppl in the room? Yes 79. have u ever been caught masturbating? Nopers 80. have u ever caught anyone else masturbating? Nope 81. have u ever been caught having sex? Not really 'caught' just, seen... 82. have u ever caught anyone else having sex? Nah 83. have u ever watched anyone masturbate (whether they knew or not)? Nope 84. have u ever let anyone watch u masturbate? Not really 85. have u ever watched anyone have sex (whether they knew or not)? Yeah 86. has anyone ever watched u having sex? Yeah 87. have u ever watched urself? Haha, no, that's not a turn on, its just creepy 88. have u ever kissed anyone of the same sex? Yes, sir 89. have u ever had a sexual experience with someone of the same sex? Yes sir 90. have u ever had sex with 2 ppl in the same family? Nooo 91. have u ever had sex with someone related 2 u? Eew..no lol 92. have u ever had sex with an animal? Well, ya know how it is, Precious just looks so damn enticing sometimes 93. have u ever had pains as a result of sexual acts? Um...ask my friend Chris..they weren't caused by him though but I did do quite a bit of complaining to him 94. have u ever fallen asleep during sex? Not during, after 95. have u ever answered the phone while u were having sex and kept going? Nah, if my cell rings i either let it ring or just press ignore..but i usually turn my phone off if I remember 96. have u ever broken anything having sex? ...if skin counts.. AND FINALLY 97. describe ur worst sexual experience: Uh..let's not and say we did 98. describe ur best sexual experience: The best hasn't really come yet, I guess the best would be where I just feel totally at ease and comfortable with a person I'm in love with..but I don't believe you need to be in love to have sex...but I think it definitely would make it 10x better. 99. describe ur biggest fantasy: Haha..lets not go there, maybe you'll find out one day.. 100. and finally, what's the kinkiest thing u've ever done? See #99 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Haha, I told you it'd be semi-entertaining...Oh well..Peace! 143 eRiN

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Subject: ..and as everything fell to ruin, nobody paid much attention... Time: 9:15 pm. Mood: morose. Music: wind outside.

Siiigh..I don't want to lose any friends over this, but at the same time I want to do what will make me happy, and I'm pretty sure what that is. As of now, I can only close my eyes, breathe in, and hope for the best. My head is battling with my heart. My logic has been torn apart. Damn pEaCe Erin

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Subject: Come on over baby! Time: 2:25 pm. Mood: satisfied. Music: xtina.

^^ Tis Beautiful Me ^^

(1 said "oww" | Bitch Slap Us!)

Time: 11:47 am.

How bout now?

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Time: 11:46 am.

Did it work? Probably not..

(4 said "oww" | Bitch Slap Us!)

Subject: "And ya can't fight the tears that ain't comin'.." Time: 12:32 am. Mood: annoyed. Music: so far away - staind.

What the Hell happened tonight?...Fucking...strange as Hell, quite possibly the weirdest night in the history of nights spent at New Roc, even though we weren't at NR. Damn it...I think I caused this now, I mean, I know I did. I just came between two friends, I hope temporarily. Yeah. Jesus.. Everyone's gonna know about this by Monday... People are fucked up, too...yeah....whatever....

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Subject: Right Thurr Time: 4:25 pm. Mood: confused. Music: For You To Notice <33 - Dashboard.

Siiiigh...school is shitty. Life is kind of shitty right now, too. Anyway.. Jesus! Mark is going to a TBS show tonight!! Can we say soooo fucking lucky? Damn. Heh. Emo rocks my world. George is like "EMO BITCH!!" Haha...its kind of funny, sometimes. I got my hoodie back from Matt today, so that makes me happy..its like my favorite hoodie in the whole wide world. I went to Mickey D's today for like 5 minutes and the regular crew was there, but yeah, heh, I felt really out of place. With like the coming about of new people into our group (what a surprise, they're girls..lol) I just feel like my place as "the girl" amongst the group of guys is drifting away. It probably is, but yeah, whatever. I'm scared though, because I'm starting to feel uncomfortable around like the people who have been closest to me lately..I really don't know what that's about and I hope it doesn't go on too much longer. I also went to MD's yesterday night with Johno. Haha..twas fun..pickles...lol Umm...yeah...I'm kind of sad today..I don't know why..yeah...blah..well I guess I do know why, but I shouldn't really say it on here...yeah...whatever You know like when you think you have established something...sorta with someone but then like randomly you kind of figure out that it was kind of one-sided? Yeah..that sucks. A lot. But whatever...I'll deal. I always do. RJ just im'd me out of like nowhere..random. He got all mad at me for some reason like when I stated how random it was. NoUseForAName109: hah...this is kind of random OldSchool59s: fine would u rather not talk NoUseForAName109: um...no? that's not what i said at all NoUseForAName109: all i mean is like you never im me...so yeah...randomness of life...thats all... Yeah...he seemed okay after I explained my statement, but then he just signed off, soooo whatever. He's odd.. I saw his friend Chris today in MD's and I was like..."eew". I LOVE DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL!!!!!!!! THEY ARE LIKE THE SOUNDTRACK TO MY WHOLE LIFE!!!! Okay, that's enough..I'm out..peace

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Subject: Still I gottah stick to mah girls like glue... Time: 11:50 pm. Mood: horny. Music: Like Glue - Sean Paul/Britney Spears :D dummmb hot, yo!.

Hehehe, tonight was a good night...hung out with Gabe ;)...haha...twas nice, indeed. Ummm, chilled at New Cock, ate at Applebee's...yeah... Dummmmb horny yo!!! Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahhahahaha...oh yeah, saw Bambina and Nicki and Jacklyn...:-D they make me happy, yay for the good ole days.

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Subject: And I still can't believe, that you came up to me and said I love you...I love you too.... Time: 9:01 am. Mood: chipper. Music: Selena.

Hehehe, I loooove good days! So yesterday, the mood struck me to call up Jim and see what he was doing. (Oh and it turns out Jim is in Matt's art class..fun stuff) He was planning on going over to Sam's w/ this girl Laura. So I told him that after I went to Mickey D's and ate I'd come over. And so I went to go eat and this really really really hot guy in a guinea tee was sitting at the table next to mine and he kept looking at me...hehe good times! Then I went to Jim's, but he was already across the street so yeah, dumb fun. We talked for awhile and caught up (I haven't talked to this kid really in like 4 months..) on everything. So me, him, Sam, Laura, and Lauren were hanging out outside for awhile when Ivan came home...(lol and we're friends again..) And two days ago was his birthday so yeah, twas fun. Then a little while later Johno, Will, and Jeff (Caesar) came and them, Joey and Peter played football. Me and Sam cheerleaded lol, yes I revisited that period in my life. Then Ivan went upstairs and whatever and he brought down cake and that made me happy, I had two plates of it...dumb good, yo! So then 11:30 rolled around and I had to be leaving, so I walked home. When I got home Matt im'd me..and yeah I was all like...shit, way to ruin a good night, but it turned out to be quite the contrary. Yeah, so we talked, I told him my feelings, he told me his, and after a whole lot of sad shit, I decided to make my own ending and turned the tables on the depressing stuff. So as of now, I can be expecting a call from him, and yeah, I think things are actually going to be okay. Yeah. Alright, so that was my night/morning..yup so I'ma go! Peace love and chicken grease! PS. Shhhhhhhh! I have a crush!!!!!!! Hehehehehehehehehehehehe....evil little girl laugh

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Subject: "Here's to School" Time: 8:09 am. Mood: busy. Music: Velvet Acid Christ.

So yesterday started out shitty but ended up to be quite good actually. I got to subway and the usuals were there, but nobody was doing anything and it seemed like people were in a bad mood. So I called Sarah to see what she was doing so I met up with her a little while later and we walked back to Subway. Then a few minutes later in walked Sabrina and Michi (Mark and PJ were in the car). We didn't know where we were gonna go but me and Sarah decided we were gonna go with them anyway. So we did and first we went to pick up Sabby's boy from work. From there we went to PJ's house and....dun, dun, dun...drank. Haha, man! Off of one cup of Bacardi and Snapple I was soooooo fucked up! Haha, can we say light-weight? I feel bad for Subby because she had some trouble towards the end of the night so FEEL BETTER BABY! Oh wow, so school starts tomorrow. Sophomore year...woohoo haha. Well, at least I'm not a Freshy anymore!! Yup, but uhh all my favorite 9th graders go in today. Today I think me, Michi, Sarah, and whoever else are gonna go in today to get lockers. I think I'm also gonna go down to Mrs Binney's office to see about switching outta Chem and outta Spanish 3 and back into 2, woo hoo for a busy morning. Alrighty, gotta go do the cat box. My mom walks into the living room and she's like "Erin! Promise me you'll do the cat box! The kitchen smells like shit, literally!" Hahahahahahahahahhahahaha...mommy's funny, and she's also off to work...alright, peace brother mens.

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Subject: In case of fire break the glass and go on into your own Time: 5:09 pm. Mood: bouncy. Music: taproot.

Yaaaaaay, yesterday was a good day. Chilled with Mark, Michi, Sarah, Sabrina and Chris and then we went to New Roc and chilled with everyone there. We went to the 7 11 in Yonkers with Joe and George. I apologized to Joe for going off at him yesterday so yeah, everything's cool now. I talked to James and Jordana, yeah, see, James is actually a cool guy, I think we understand eachother somewhat now. Cyril gave me what I hope is good news....pretty pretty pretty please let it be good. Alrighty, so now I'm just waiting for Michi to get outta work so we can chill. So yeah...peace!

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Subject: If I could be a superhero, I would be Justice Guy. Time: 11:58 pm. Mood: nostalgic. Music: television in the other room.

Alright, so me and Chris are done. It was actually the best parting I've ever had though. If he reads this, which I doubt he will: I'm sorry. You are a great person and you deserve to be fully happy. Believe me when I say it is not you, it was never you. There's been too much going on, but I want you to know I will always consider you a friend. You can call me anytime, you know the number. Michi and Mark seem to be getting along well, they are really great together, I'm happy for her. Matt leaves tomorrow :(. Sucks ass. The next time I'll see him will be in school. Awww. I'ma miss you, kid. Tonight was a good night, I wish I could've stayed at New Roc longer actually, but nah, I didn't. Haha, its all good. I think tomorrow I get to go shopping or whatever for school clothes and shit so yeah, should be fun. Alrighty then, that's enough writing for one night. I shall talk to you tomorrow. Peace!

Blurty for I'm Addicted. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (Piss off..). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.