Kathleen's Journal

new brunswick

10:47am 01/07/2008

mood: upset

music: don't matter - akon

I'm going to New Brunswick today, I'm going to be leaving in a few hours to go to the airport. I'm going for a karate tournament that I'm really not interested in going to, I'm really only doing it for my dad. I'm going to try and have a good time though, I just don't want to compete or be at the tournament all day long because it won't be fun at all. I have a couple books, a word-find, and my ipod to keep me busy this trip. Hopefully I'll be able to find another word-find at the airport and hopefully the new cosmo magazine. I woke up with Mark by my side this morning and I really didn't want to go ! We showered, and had breakfast, and waited outside for his ride to go to work. He's so sweet. No wonder I'm so scared to loose him. We had major issues going on yesterday and it was driving me insane because I was all 'great..we're going to end like this right before I leave'. Then he was thinking about leaving his friends because of me and my issues and I was like 'no. i'll leave before you ever do that.' just because I know exactly how that feels like. I will never let someone leave their friends. I left my friends time ago and havn't been able to keep a group of friends since because I know I'll just have to leave them. So, I sucked it up, I'm growing up, and whatever. I'm used to changing me, it's how I grow, so I don't mind it. I can deal with tears and pain but I won't see someone else go through it, especially Mark. So, things are good again, and hopefully will continue to be good. I just hope this trip goes by fast and Sunday comes super quick so I can come back home already. Anyways, wish me good luck...I'll need it, trust me.

the key to change is to let go of fear.

10:42am 01/07/2008

mood: sad

music: i kissed a girl

It turns out,
sometimes you have to do the wrong thing.
Sometimes you have to make a big mistake
to figure out how to make things right.
Mistakes are painful,
but they're the only way to find out
who you really are.

hedly

07:26am 01/07/2008

mood: miss you

music: never too late

Hoping I can run today and get away faster than ever from here another night and who can say if leaving is better than living in fear?
Here's to all the broken hearts tonight. Here's to all the "fall-a-parts" tonight. Here's to every girl and boy who lost their joy, they let it get away.
You know it's never too late! Get up and start all over again! You know it's never too late! There's got to be a better way. Don't settle for the cold and rain, it's not too late to start again. Find a way to smile and never let it get away.
It's been too long and we've been down and out without laughter. No smiling just tears. We're tired of falling down and being such a disaster, we've been here for years.
Here's to all the broken hearts tonight. Here's to all the "fall-a-parts" tonight. Here's to every girl and boy who lost their joy, they let it get away.
You know it's never too late! Get up and start all over again! You know it's never too late! There's got to be a better way. Don't settle for the cold and rain, it's not too late to start again. Find a way to smile and never let it get away.
I'm gone, I'm gone, there's got to be a better way, I'm gone.
You know it's never too late, there's got to be a better way.

i love mark gregory sean taylor

10:31pm 16/06/2008

mood: happy

music: take a bow

We ran in the rain yesterday night after having dinner with his family and grandparents. It was pouring like crazy and we were just getting out of the forest and i was like "OKAY READY, RUN !" and we started running to his house (which is just like a 1 minute run) and we ended up being so soaked ! During the run he was like "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE RUNNING IN THE POURING RAN WITH ME. YOU GOTTA HOLD MY HAND DURING THIS" and that made me so happy ! It was thunder, lightening, pouring rain, but it was so great ! I love kissing him in the rain too ! He's the first I've actually been able to kiss in the pouring rain, like we got soaked kissing in the rain kind of deal. It was nice.
I like how we argue about stuff..but in a joking way. We don't truley care about the issue, it's just fun to make fun of the arguement. I like that we don't take eachother too seriously, just seriouse enough. I love him a lot. We can relate to a lot of things, and grow to like the same things. It's nice. I can definatly see myself being with him for a long long while ! 10 months is coming up soon ! that's so exciting =D It would really be like a year by now..but we only started counting when Mark told me he loved me..so I just keep counting from there.
I can't wait until the summer ! 3 more exams and then summer here I come ! I get to spend every second with Mark ! I love you baby !

take a bow

10:27pm 16/06/2008

mood: i miss you baby

music: rhianna

Oh, How about a round of applause? Yeah, a standing ovation.
You look so dumb right now, standing outside my house, trying to apologize. You’re so ugly when you cry. Please, just cut it out
Don’t tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not. Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught. But you put on quite a show, you really had me going. But now it’s time to go, curtain’s finally closing. That was quite a show, very entertaining. But it’s over now, go on and take a bow.
Grab your clothes and get gone. You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on. Talkin’ bout' "Girl, I love you, you’re the one"...this just looks like a re-run. Please, what else is on?
And don't tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not. Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught. But you put on quite a show, you really had me going. But now it’s time to go, curtain’s finally closing. That was quite a show, very entertaining. But it’s over now, go on and take a bow.
Oh, and the award for the best lie goes to you for making me believe that you could be faithful to me. Let's hear your speech.
How about a round of applause? A standing ovation?
But you put on quite a show, you really had me going. But now it’s time to go, curtain’s finally closing. That was quite a show, very entertaining. But it’s over now, go on and take a bow.

harold & kumar

10:42pm 01/06/2008

mood: miss you

music: let me see your hips swing

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

love song - sara bareillas

07:11pm 19/05/2008

mood: tired

music: love song

Head under water and they tell me to breathe easy for a while...the breathing gets harder, even I know that. You made room for me but it’s too soon to see if I’m happy in your hands. I’m unusually hard to hold on to. Blank stares at blank pages, no easy way to say this - you mean well, but you make this hard on me.
I’m not gonna write you a love song ’cause you asked for it, ’cause you need one. You see I'm not gonna write you a love song ’cause you tell me it’s make or breaking this. If you’re on your way I’m not gonna write you to stay. If all you have is leaving, I’m gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today.
I learned the hard way that they all say things you want to hear and my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and your twisted words. Your help just hurts. You are not what I thought you were. Hello to high and dry. Convinced me to please you, made me think that I need this too. I’m trying to let you hear me as I am.
I’m not gonna write you a love song ’cause you asked for it, ’cause you need one. You see I'm not gonna write you a love song ’cause you tell me it’s make or breaking this. If you’re on your way I’m not gonna write you to stay. If all you have is leaving, I’m gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today.
Promise me that you’ll leave the light on to help me see with daylight, my guide - gone ’cause I believe there’s a way you can love me. Because I say:
I won’t write you a love song ’cause you asked for it, ’cause you need one. You see I'm not gonna write you a love song ’cause you tell me it’s make or breaking this. If you’re on your way I’m not gonna write you to stay. If all you have is leaving, I’m gonna need a better reason to write you a love song.
If you’re on your way I’m not gonna write you to stay. If your heart is nowhere in it, I don’t want it for a minute. Babe, I’ll walk the seven seas when I believe that. There’s a reason to write you a love song today.

however, my birthday was excellent

07:32am 12/05/2008

mood: happy

music: onelove

Mark skipped school and came to see me on my birthday, May 8th. I was ordering Brasas as he came to pick me up with my mom and he was like "WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE THIS PLACE? I WAS GOING TO TAKE YOU HERE TOMORROW FOR A DATE!" and it was so embarrasing but super cute because he had beautiful roses (3! 2 red 1 white) and it was infront of a whole bunch of people. it was pretty sweet though. Then we went home and ate Brasas. Watched T.V. Showered ! He sung happy birthday to me 32065623057203 times and Bob Marley - Is This Love? 327508237520385702385023 times. He even wrote the lyrics on my wall ! What a sweetheart.
Then we went to culturefest and I was in a ridiculous outfit for the portuguese pavillion and there were soooooooo many people. It was ridiculous.
Then on May 9th he came down on the Go after school and me and his dad went to go pick him up and then we went to MANDARIN ! I love that restaurant because I can eat at least 9 plates of food while I'm there. The most I've eaten was 14 ! How I manage to be 5'2 and 108lbs, I have no idea, probably all the karate and work I do !) But it was great and delicious and so expensive ! I felt so bad :( But I'll make his birthday just as good ! Hopefully. But he even got one of the asian ladies to sing happy birthday to me! I turned like BRIGHT RED. I never blush or turn bright red and when i do it's not noticable because i'm like olived skinned and it's hard to see but apparently I turned pretty bright red. It was sooooooooooooo cute again though. Then we went back to his place and just cuddled and watched tv and then slept!
I LOVE YOU MARK GREGORY SAUN TAYLOR.

it is my birthday today !

10:57pm 08/05/2008

mood: happy

music: redemption song

and it was a pretty good one. :)

my turtle

10:13pm 15/04/2008

mood: tired

music: 4 minutes

Franklin Robert Junior, is what I named him. He is really cool and he's about the size of my hand already ! He must be at least a decade old. He has no right eye. I love him ! He loves to be under the light, and he loves to be half in the water, half on the land. He's a very picky turtle, but he's loving it in that aquirium.
I hope to be making him a mini-pond in my backyard, with gates around it so that he doesn't run away or get lost or hurt himself. I think he'll enjoy it a lot. I'll get started on it once the summer gets here.
Oh, and I thought I would thank Mark, since he found the turtle for me :)

true.

11:12pm 24/03/2008

mood: happy

music: fighter

We are not special.
We are not crap or trash, either.
We just are.
We just are, and what happens just happens.

based on my future (hopefully) turtle..

10:44pm 17/03/2008

mood: upset

music: guitar hero songs

I just don't want to hear
"I told you so"
or
"You never took care of it"

benjamin franklin

03:15pm 05/03/2008

mood: happy

music: hot

Knowing is better than wondering.
Waking is better than sleeping.
AND
Even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying.

for the nights i can't remember

02:54pm 04/03/2008

mood: happy

music: hedly

I see it in the way you would do when no one else could ever get through. Holding back till I come around, time and time again you wait for me to coming. And did you really look my way? 'Cause no one could've seen this coming. I would never let you down, if I was running backwards in full time.
So I can and I will and you’ll see your hero come running over and over tonight.
And I do wanna love you, if you see me running back, and I do wanna try ! Because if falling for you ~~girl~~boy is crazy then I’m going out of my mind. So hold back your tears this time.
Me, I’m used to being tired and bloody but you believed that I could be somebody. You put your world on hold for me, gave away to follow failure through the fire - I need you to know I will. Believe me ~~girl~~boy I’m so tired of running. I just wanna hold your hand, stare at you like you’ve got everything I need.
So I can and I will and you’ll see your hero come running over and over tonight.
And I do wanna love you, if you see me running back, and I do wanna try ! Because if falling for you ~~girl~~boy is crazy then I’m going out of my mind. So hold back your tears this time.
And what if I never said to you I was dynamite? And what if I never told you I’m afraid to cry? What if I never let you down? And said I’m sorry for the nights I can’t remember? What if I never said to you I would try?
And I do wanna love you, if you see me running back, and I do wanna try ! Because if falling for you ~~girl~~boy is crazy then I’m going out of my mind. So hold back your tears this time.

i like being his goose.

07:02pm 27/02/2008

mood: sick !

music: bambi

The two of us are a perfect fit
You're all mine, all mine.
And all I can say is you blow me away.
Like an apple on a tree, hiding out behind the leaves...
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me
Like a shell upon a beach, just another pretty piece...
I was difficult to see
But you picked me
Yeah you picked me

Pollotarianism

12:13pm 18/02/2008

mood: excited

music: start again

I'm going back to pollotarianism March 1st. Basically, it's semi-vegetarianism which means I don't eat mammals. I did it for 2 and 1/2 years but my doctor said i wasn't getting enough iron so I started to eat all meats again. But, I'm going to go back to to pollotarianism and start eating wisely to get enough iron - such as beans. I'll be eating a lot of beans ! I can also get iron supplements if I'm not getting enough iron, but we will see how things go.
I'm really excited. I was sad that I gave it up and I was doing it for so long ! But, I'm sure I can do it again.

mark taylor.

12:56am 16/02/2008

mood: miss you

music: i'm rich

is in florida, and i miss him so much !
I LOVE YOU BABY

sarah, sam, bethan, blair, johnny

12:54am 16/02/2008

mood: happy

music: starting something

i hung out with the coolest people today. i can really be myself around them. i havn't had a group of friends i've been so comfortable with in a very long time. they're really nice and i really like being around them ! we watched movies..well fast forward to all the funny parts. had pancakes. ordered pizza. played pool. millions of funny jokes! and they are okay with me being me ! they liek real people. and they are all real. they are my type of people. strange but in the nicest way.
i like them :)

i love these quotes. and pictures. again.!

07:49pm 10/02/2008

mood: tired

music: imnotgoingtotakeanothermomentinthistown

( thanks to http://www.xanga.com/mhitt99 )

chicken soup.

11:35pm 01/02/2008

mood: tired

music: beautiful girl reply

She was a very caring person, but her shyness interfered with making friends. Oh, she had those occasional buddies - you know, the kind that took advantage of her kindness by cheating off her.
She walked the halls every day almost invisible. No one spoke to her, so her voice was never heard. It reached the point where she believed that her thoughts weren't good enough to be heard.
So she continued to stay quiet, almost mute.

	prettiestxwreck
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