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eureka! [11 Dec 2004|12:57am] [ mood | good ] my father is probably the youngest a fifty year old can be. he sometimes laughs this particular way...he sounds like an excited five year old. his eyes twinkle and you can see all the laugh lines etched. it just hit me how thats the one thing common between the all the men i have fallen for...their lighter side. post comment

chandini chowking... [08 Dec 2004|07:21pm] [ mood | good ] my arms are feeling like two painful heavy logs...even the mere thought of moving them 4 inches against gravity hurts. i skipped gym to get to chandini chowk in time. in many ways it was a dissapointment. after seeing the ahmedabad old city, the delhi counter part seemed comparatively dried out. the flashy new facades kill the charm of the narrow old mazelike streets. but that dosn't mean i din't enjoy it. it was a treat for the soul. the people seemed completely oblivious to the time passing by, they seemed blissfully trapped in their own universes, more content than most people i have seen. being in delhi for over a month, i only got to see the same faces and the same traffic. this was refreshing. manmeet was a great guide. a little been-there-done-that but very nice and helpful. couldn't have found a more suitable person to go with. keeping my fingers crossed about the pics! post comment

im a rainbow too... [06 Dec 2004|08:54pm] [ mood | creative ] been running away from understanding them big lights. light meter, half stop, readings...always thought i couldn't handle all that mathematics. but as it turns out...its easy as focusing! i had a ball today. chandan and i. he's a nice giy. a little on the quiet side but i never said i minded being the talker! fun to work with. did i forget cute and talented? post comment

[03 Dec 2004|10:15pm] teenage is synonmous to rebelion and arrogance. i see the war blazing in the brilliant example so close to me...samarth. its deja vu at times and i fail to find a way to stop this fellow driver from driving throught the pits i drove into a few years back. post comment

them kids 2 [28 Nov 2004|02:32pm] a doting grandfather entered the main door and pulled out the customary two toffies from his pocket and looked smilingly at his grand daughter. seeing an unusualy glum face, he asked "kya hua?" the four year old whispered back with a big frown, "segret privet hai" the grandfather immediately put down his briefcase and signalled for the others to leave them alone. with the girl holding his indexfinger, he took her to his study and sat her down on the study table. after insuring that the door was shut and that no one was listenening, the girl whispered "papa ne mujhe mara!" seeing the grandfather react, she went on "itni pitai ki, two balti khoon bhi nikla!" instantly infuriated, ignoring the child's exaggerating self, the grandfather thought a while and frowningly told the girl to go play and that he will take care of the matter. he sat there brooding about how anyone dare lift a hand on his beloved grandchild. when the bell rang after twenty minutes, he knew it was her daughter and son-in-law, his grand daughter's father. his frown deepened. he headed for the main door and after a controlled curt hello to both, asked to speak to the son-in-law alone. once seemingly alone, he impatiently asked "beta, bachon ko marna nahi chahiye yeh to tum jaante ho. to phir aisa kya hogaya ki tumhe haath uthana para?" the son-in-law looked shocked "maara? maine?" "socha to tha!!!" mumbled a little figure peeking out the door with her nose in the air. post comment

them kids! [26 Nov 2004|12:50pm] [ mood | calm ] The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper, "Hello." "Is your daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No." Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?" "Yes." "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "ME." 1 comment|post comment

wish list time... [24 Nov 2004|07:38pm] # an interiors project with a non-stuck up client # a fun holiday in jan # 5 more kilos on me # more semi formal clothing # an A3 scanner # an A3 colour printer # 20 gb extra memory for the ibook # a new pair of tevas # 13 more good prints in my folio # an admission in rca or parsons # funding for the same # music lessons # a role in a musical 2 comments|post comment

aa bael mujhe maar! [24 Nov 2004|06:32pm] little silly things annoy me now! or mostly my response to them annoys me more! when i get all occupied with work, i miss being with people i care about and now that i'm around...i feel ridiculous waiting around! i guess being in charge and busy is easier on the ego than being around and eager... post comment

happy. [21 Nov 2004|12:07am] [ mood | happy ] happy birthday to a special s in my life. here's wishing him the best in the year to come. post comment

extended pms? [19 Nov 2004|08:50pm] empty vessels make much noise...perhaps it is the absence of a demanding fulltime occupation that is bringing on these arbid swings from nostalgia to depression. days fly by as the lazy me plays driver to the family and whiles away days reading, thinking, planning and indulging in various inane dress up acts for dhichick-mickik panju shaadis! post comment

littlesome bothersome [18 Nov 2004|06:54pm] sometimes i sit and i think and sometimes i only sit. for better or for worse, the latter has begun occuring more often than it used to. many writers and poets have often said that women think far more than men but understand much less. i cant argue the thinking more but the understanding less...well...it seems that the more i think, the more components to an argument and hence the increase in its complexity. now obviously it'll get all the more unlikely for someone to come up with an absolute answer knowing two (or parhaps even more) justified view points right!!! but i suppose the whole darn excersise can be pretty useless and completely avoidable at times. and i thank heavens for keeping me out of much kittar pittar the last few days. post comment

a salutation. [17 Nov 2004|09:30pm] [ mood | grateful ] after much fireworks, depression and deep thought has this day arrived. for the first time in a long time we sat and spoke our hearts out. life never felt better in the last few months. it was as if a vital part of me had been taken away. i had almost given up when i couldn't take it anymore and had to get her back somehow. i almost felt like i was taking my ego and locking it in the bathroom in my attempt to bring myself to go back and face her. but it was so worth it. i have a renewed sense of what she means to me and more importantly what i stand for as a person. i acknoledge her again for the person she is and the value she adds to my life. post comment

lighter... [30 Oct 2004|12:23am] [ mood | good ] yep. i feel 'lighter'. its rather interesting how basic bodily needs such as sleep and food can change ones being so completely. home food, a comfortable bed, a loving hand to wake me up did make life brighter. and ofcourse the evening was really nice. driving over to pvr on the packed delhi roads for over an hour was...can you believe it...rejuvinating?!? a chocolate eclair, ice-cream, coffee frappe and the perfect blend of cool air and a semi-warm sweatshirt. hmmm. thankyou to a someone that made the evening. 3 comments|post comment

here's to friendship.... [26 Oct 2004|05:18pm] [ mood | discontent ] friend ( P ) Pronunciation Key (frnd) n. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker friendless adj. friendless·ness n. Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amcus “friend” and am “I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos “friend” and phile “I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frond, the Old English word for “friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb fron, “to love.” The Germanic root behind this verb is *fr-, which meant “to like, love, be friendly to.” Closely linked to these concepts is that of “peace,” and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, “peaceful ruler,” and Siegfried, ”victory peace.” The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, “day of Frigg,” from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris dis, “day of Venus.” amusing. how what a word really means is not always what people use it for. and how the magnanimity of a word is so easily reduced to a mere percentage of the ocean of ideas it constitutes. my head has been buzzing with thwarted expectations and unidentified intentions. so consulting the supreme authority of a dictionary seemed vital ito the possibility of seeing any light. and light it has brought. well, some atleast. my father often mentions how doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is possibly the height of stupidity. in ways i agree. stupidity and stubbornness may share common borders. and perhaps its that madness that usually drives some misfortunate humans. the key here is 'dignity', some say. some others say its self-love. 'hmm' is all i can manage in response i'm afraid. what is maybe bothersome is the duality of things. of people. the entourage of implications an act or a few words can carry. the convenience with which a gesture can be twisted around and made to imply something completely new. safe. the world plays safe. safe and convenient. 2 comments|post comment

each to his own [26 Oct 2004|02:06pm] [ mood | pissed off ] there are somethings that get the worse of me! truly i hate beeing the fool! its times like this that all reason seems to exist only in a parallel universe. i hate people who play games. i hate this whole pseudo intellectualisation of everything. one could obviously get away with genocide if the law permit reason as a lawfull excuse. all emotion and love feels such a waste in the name of reason. implications, meanings, reasons, justifications, logic, rationality, practicality are words i hate at this moment in space and time. moral of the story : dont waste love on someone who cant appreciate it without dissecting into tiny bits of so-called-reason. 1 comment|post comment

chadhti jawani meri chaal mastani.... [21 Oct 2004|12:10pm] [ mood | excited ] yes yes...i know i am in a completely wonky mood. I have basically been mentally pole dancing all over town for over two days now. these have been some of the more relaxing days of the month so far. cold coffee, dressing up, garbha, mid-night conversations, linda-goodman readings with bhabhi and toilet-training my niece have been the value additions to otherwise refreshingly mundane days. post comment

sigh... [16 Oct 2004|12:03pm] [ mood | good ] some evenings spell bliss...its like a compounded 'soot samit' return for all the horrible days. ditches, deck ups, kiddies, garbas, coffee and rest...some things arbidly land up and boost the week's happiness score. post comment

monday mania again! [15 Oct 2004|04:35pm] [ mood | relaxed ] no...i did not submit last monday but i did do so day before (finally)! so the stage is now set for the jury on monday and i have never feared a jury more...the chairperson just so happens to be the one man who hates the sight of me!!! i mean how???? how do i manage this...kuan par kiya aur khai hazir!!! life has been perkier since wednesday. though shone is still on her 'mode' ans s still does not mes back or call back. had the most unexpected event occur. i shock myself at times. can't really understand oneself sometimes...its funny how realities differ from plans and ideas and morals and all of that...hmmm.... post comment

sniff snogggghhh snortt sniff sniff... [08 Oct 2004|08:01pm] [ mood | sick ] well well...talk of days going by! the day poured faster than my nose! thats another one...my and pump of a nose...in fact its fully automatic today...touche' pour away! and the deadline's on monday!!! bhagwan bhala kare!!! spoke to p today about shone, same ol same ol. we bumped into eachother but she barely spoke. hmm. and s is the same...no talking, don't understand what is happening exactly. funny how things are turning out and how i actualy imagined they'd be. no more jhing bangs, no more 'dil chahta hai's...sad sad tales.... 2 comments|post comment

Ahmedabadly yours... [07 Oct 2004|07:08pm] [ mood | grumpy ] After the whole big twist and turn with mom and dad, here i am in the city of mosqies again! everyone i knew in the city seems to be on their own. its truly a feeling of being lost. like i never lived here. the same campus feels dead and gone. and to think of it i'm not even finished here yet and already! anna came back. though that hasn't changed a thing. shivani is as distant. more than she has ever been infact. pushan's nice but me and him??? how??? what??? anything only i say! i mean its difficult to imagine even so then how can she make such a big fuss about it? and yes its established and proven that i do have some of the electrical engeneering genes from dad...i actually cut through and re wired an apple adapter! the form worshipers would commit suiside if they layed an eye on the goop of electrical tape and cut up rubber that the beutifull gadget has become. dhikkaar hai mujhpar! And s is being interestingly distant too. he talks but dosn't . i guess everyone moves on. i have to slowly learn to un-own my friends i suppose. but the idea of andaman in jan sure sounded like the best dream ever. i could work my cortex off for it! post comment

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