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Sunday, May 4th, 2008
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2:57 pm
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So I jumped. Now my arms are flailing for the support of anything within reach.
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| Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
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10:59 pm
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The hard part isn't choosing; it's living with the choice you make.
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| Friday, April 11th, 2008
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3:53 pm
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Is he always going to be my "what if?"
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| Monday, April 7th, 2008
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1:29 pm - Words from a genius
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"It's extremely difficult trying to make a spoiled brat see out a window other than the one their parents bought them."
That couldn't be more true, haha.
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| Sunday, April 6th, 2008
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4:33 pm
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I can't even bring myself to feel guilty.
Something is terribly wrong here.
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| Monday, March 17th, 2008
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3:31 pm
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Dear ignorant asshole who claims to love me,
Who are you and what the fuck have you done with my Joe?
Sincerely,
Your "dense and annoying" girlfriend
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| Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
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7:02 pm
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I was sending you
secret,
telepathic messages
of hate...
but you never noticed.
What else is new?
"Give me a Camel."
It was my last one.
I didn't even want a cigarette,
but I would rather
miserably
suck it down,
than watch you
enjoy
a single puff.
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| Thursday, January 17th, 2008
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3:58 am
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You are the biggest asshole in the world.
You deserve nothing from me and yet I give you fucking everything I have.
Fuck you, you stupid fuck.
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| Thursday, August 9th, 2007
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12:33 pm - Good Day Sunshine
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I'm feeling strangely fine. I feel in love, I feel at peace with myself, and I feel this strange happiness that I'm not quite used to.
This is going to be a good weekend =)
current mood:  optimistic
current music: Fab 4
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| Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
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10:49 am - Blah.
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I guess I don't write in this often...I'm not very faithful to my "blog" as you hipsters say.
Forgive my ADD, I lose interest in things all too quickly and it's a flaw I've never been able to hide or improve upon. I suppose that it's not at all limited to an online journal either, because it's pretty apparent in my every day life. I fail to hold meaningful relationships with people that I probably should have in my life and I grow bored so easily in the company of others. There are two people in my life that I can foresee as being permanent, but only one of them actually seems always to truly care for me. She has been my best friend since 7th grade and I cannot even see myself living a life without her.
He, however, is amazing and loves me more than life itself, but sometimes slips up and fails to show it. I have never actually doubted my love for him, but it is easy to worry that it isn't always completely mutual. There is always more good than bad, but then it seems as though he tends to disappear and becomes so distant during the bad times that I need him most.
I know my life is wonderful and I know I have no reason to complain, so I won't; but I will say that lately I've been feeling as though I have no control over anything in my life anymore and that everything could disappear as quickly as I received it.
One day I might just psyche myself up enough into jumping in front of that train.
current mood:  discontent
current music: Feist
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| Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
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10:51 am - Ho hum
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So here I am, back at home for a few months (Kill, please). There he is, back at home for a few months... It sucks. I know it's not a big deal and that I will see him every so often this summer, it just blows my mind to think that he will be 4 hours away for the majority of the time. I don't really know what my plan is for coping with this. Yeah, we'll talk every day and I know he'll be thinking of me almost as much as I intend to think of him, but going from seeing him every weekend (and then some) to this is quite an adjustment to make. It just figures that the one person I find whom I truly connect with and whom truly understands me happens to live 4 hours away when he isn't going to school 20 minutes away from where I live. I don't know, it will work, but it's still going to suck.
current mood: melancholy
current music: Regina Spektor
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| Thursday, March 1st, 2007
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10:29 pm - >_
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I knew I was cynical for a reason.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Guster
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| Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
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12:41 pm - Weird...
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I have some time to kill between classes, so here it goes, I guess.
I have been strangely happy these past few days, and I'm not exactly sure whether or not to fully trust it--my god, I want to trust it.
You've been burned more than once; you don't think much of trust...
He is easily the most amazing person in my life. I don't even know how to picture myself without him anymore, and it seriously hurts to even try. Since the first day we met there's just been some kind of weird connection...I feel so lame talking like this, because usually I'm the biggest skeptic and cynic in the world when it comes to love, but I can feel him changing that every time I'm with him. We've been together four months now, and as weird as this sounds, I feel so certain sometimes that he is the one. I have never, EVER, considered spending the rest of my life with the guy I was with--even when I was in a 5 year relationship, I knew it was bound to fall apart at any given moment (which it did).
But I feel like this is it for me. He is it for me. I'm not sure what spell he has me under, but I never, ever want to snap out of it. I want to stay with him forever; I never want this to end.
current mood: hopeful
current music: The Trolleyvox- I know you're high
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| Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
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1:07 pm - Hmph.
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I don't even like Valentine's Day.
The only reason I was even getting excited about it was because I knew that you would be spending it with me.
The only reason I was even considering celebrating it was because I knew I'd be celebrating it with you.
You like Valentine's Day.
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| Monday, May 17th, 2004
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8:42 pm - :)
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I am proud to say that I live in the state of Massachusetts where gay marriages are now legal.
It's about friggin time.
I'm not gay, but I absolutely support gay marriages and think and gay people deserve everything that straight people have. One protester was like:
"This is like opening a can of worms. And when you open a can of worms, everyone wants to go fishing."
I was utterly speechless at the idea of how much sense that statement did not make.
Oh well, doesn't matter now, it's LEGAL.
current mood:  cheerful
current music: Modest Mouse
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| Monday, April 26th, 2004
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5:57 pm - Oh boy...
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Yeah, quite a bit has happened in the past week or so.
My family has a stalker. Interesting, eh? Bet that caught your attention.
Originally, he was my brother's girlfriend's family stalker. Now he's decided, 'Hey let's get two families involved, now!'. He smashed my brother's brand new car the other day. They filed a restraining order, which obviously pissed him off quite a bit, or at least enough to decide to ram his car into my brother's again.
It's been happening to their family for 12 years. 12 fucking years. And it's all because of a fucking 15 year-old's crush. This guy's sick. And what's even sicker is that he knows where we live, he probably knows my name, my face...and I have no idea what he even looks like.
I'm petrified.
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| Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
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10:34 pm - I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.
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Do you ever feel like you could just disappear and no one would notice? That's how I feel right now. I don't even feel alive. I feel like I'm watching everything from the outside.
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
God, you know, I was really happy at work today (a rarity) and now I'm just really bummed. I don't even know why. I'm not going to make a big deal of it though, because I know I'll probably wake up perfectly fine tomorrow.
I think I'll work on my layout, just to keep my mind off it. : )
current mood: melancholy
current music: Natalie Imbruglia-Torn
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| Thursday, April 15th, 2004
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9:40 am - ho hum...
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It's been raining out a lot lately. I love it. April rocks.
Its actually supposed to be really nice this weekend. 70's, and maybe even 80's on Monday. That would be an excellent way to start my vacation--the vacation that I was supposed to be going to Italy during, but that didn't work out, now did it? Next year, I suppose.
Uh...so...
I think I'm actually going to start being active in Blurty. I really haven't been at all. Hah, I'm gonna take one for the team and even start joining communities. Yeah, so...go me, I guess.
I think I might do a new layout sometime soon. But I don't know when I'll get around to that.
T'is all.
current mood: chipper
current music: Desaparecido's-Greater Omaha
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| Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
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5:40 pm - hm..
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Isn't it odd how everyone labels themselves?
Like, punks, goths, preps, etc...
And what I can't stand is how all the "punks" and even the "goths" are such hypocrites. They claim that they're against conformity, when in reality, they conform to be exactly alike. Every goth dresses in black. Every punk wears pins and buttons all over their clothes and stuff.
Come on, stop labeling yourselves. It gets to be too much sometimes.
Then I don't like when people won't shop in a certain store because it's too "preppy". It's just clothes!
"Oh my God...why are you wearing that preppy Gap Sweatshirt?" Who the hell cares? I bought it, I'm wearing it...not you. It's so lame.
Alrigh, I think I'm done.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Tainted Love
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| Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
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11:52 pm - ...
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