long awaited, but still unsuccessful   
11:01am 10/02/2004
  listening to the scientest,
love un fullilled.
empty sex, left in a hurry
its a shame for us to part.
thinking of another, but day dreaming
during the waking hours of am.
if only my thoughts were to come true,
while in the arms of another, with yet another
in my mind.
decisions, guessing, pulling the puzzel apart.
questions, progress, love at last
but i must wait
until; the emotional hole is patched
the spring returns to nature
the lights ficker, its time
so yeah...   
11:05am 10/02/2004
  ok i think that after this morning, i will just be a born again virgin, love less sex is just that, love less. its been months before today, that i had sex, just that. sex. not love . making love would be wonderful. but i wonder with whom that will happen and when. i was thinking of jim earlier. remembering the physical connection and why i should wait until there is more of a tangible connection, a line of trust etc. working tonight and tomorrow. feeling kinda down. i now need to change my sheets..lol. needing a nap, got to bed late. shit to do, must be done, K