My So-Called Life's Blurty
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Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in My So-Called Life's Blurty:

    Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
    8:54 pm
    some poetry..not mine because i'm bad at it
    You Smiled, You Spoke, and I Believed
    Walter Savage Landor

    You smiled, you spoke, and I believed,
    By every word and smile deceived.
    Another man would hope no more;
    Nor hope I what I hoped before:
    But let not this last wish be vain;
    Deceive, deceive me once again!

    The Grave Of Love
    By Thomas Love Peacock

    I dug, beneath the cypress shade,
    What well might seem an elfin's grave;
    And every pledge in earth I laid,
    That erst thy false affection gave.

    I press'd them down the sod beneath;
    I placed one mossy stone above;
    And twined the rose's fading wreath
    Around the sepulchre of love.

    Frail as thy love, the flowers were dead
    Ere yet the evening sun was set:
    But years shall see the cypress spread,
    Immutable as my regret

    The Night Has A Thousand Eyes
    By Francis William Bourdillon<

    THE night has a thousand eyes,
    And the day but one;
    Yet the light of a bright world dies
    When day is done.

    The mind has a thousand eyes,
    And the heart but one;
    Yet the light of a whole life dies
    When love is done.

    How Do I Love Thee?
    By Elizabeth Barret Browning

    How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
    I love thee to the depth and bredth and height
    My soul can reach when feeling out of sight
    For the ends of being and ideal Grace.
    I love thee to the level of everyday's
    Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
    I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
    I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
    I love thee with the passion put to use
    In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
    I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
    With my lost saints - I love thee with the breath,
    Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
    I shall but love thee better after death.

    Shall I Compare Thee
    William Shakespeare

    Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
    Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
    Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
    And Summer's lease hath all too short a date:
    Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
    And often his gold complexion dimm'd;
    And every fair from fair sometime declines,
    By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

    But thy eternal Summer shall not fade
    Nor lose possession of that fair ow'st;
    Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
    When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
    So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
    So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
    Well i have to go go go go go so i shall talk to you another day, ciao, mandm

    Current Mood: scared
    Current Music: Pat Benatar-Invincible
    Saturday, November 22nd, 2003
    6:32 pm
    pissed off
    okay so i dont usually write in here but i deem it very necessary today!! lol Okay...lets take a flash back...Josh...okay he tends to tell me constantly how "Immature" I am which kind of pisses me off...because he is so much more immature than i am...but this not being the point...Josh constantly tells me that i need to lighten up and joke around more often? which totally contradicts his past comment of being way too i'm so confused as to why he would say such a thing...then I joke around and people get fucking pissed off....i don't understand. Why is it okay for them to? Or they tell me to lighten up and so I joke around and they just make fun of me. I don't understand anyones reasoning to any of this. and I just try to laugh it off...but some things that people say just really get to me....Why do i get so jealous? Everyone has someone to like them always...i never have anyone to like me, or have a crush on it because i'm fat and ugly? Why do i just have "fuck buddies" or someone who doesn't actually want to pursuit something...i'm done with that shit. It kills. ahhhhhhhh i just want to never see anyone again because i just don't have the energy...i'm so tired and worn out of everything. I've just been letting everything build up again..and it sucks.i don't even know...i'm just so frustrated....i'm out ciao, mandm
    a song for the feelings toinght:
    I'm so tired of being here
    Suppressed by all my childish fears
    And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    'Cause your presence still lingers here
    And it won't leave me alone

    These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase

    When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
    I held your hand through all of these years
    But you still have
    All of me

    You used to captivate me
    By your resonating light
    Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
    Your face it haunts
    My once pleasant dreams
    Your voice it chased away
    All the sanity in me

    These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase


    I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
    But though you're still with me
    I've been alone all along

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: Evanescence-my immortal
    Friday, November 21st, 2003
    1:58 pm
    quiz time! whoo hoo!
    Sad rock! O.o
    You are the depressed rock!

    ::Which rock personality disorder (from the Zoloft commercial) should you have? (Results contain pictures!)
    brought to you by Quizilla
    You are the unpretty eye. You think everything n
    everyone around u is against u. Take my advice
    and lighten up alil.

    The type of pain ur eyes behold
    brought to you by Quizilla
    ^^ Your Shania Twain: I'm Gonna Getcha Good

    What Song Are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    Messenger Bag

    What emo accessory best fits you?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    Cute 01
    Rate Your Cuteness!

    brought to you by Quizilla
    You're Brand New! You're lyrics are amazing and you
    put on a great live show. You're probably my
    all time favorite band! ROCK ON!

    Which one of my favorite bands are you? Brand New, The Used, Mest, or Alkaline Trio?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    okay there we go..YES I"M MY FAVORITE BAND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!! yesssssss!!! lol okay ciao MandM

    Current Mood: cold
    Current Music: Mest
    Sunday, November 16th, 2003
    12:15 pm
    Mom bought a new keyboard and mouse yesterday. she bought the mouse with the ball on the side that you stear with your thumb, it's rad i love it lol. okay here are my quizzes...BRAND NEW"S TODAY!!!!!!!! 3 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES IN COUNTING!!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH! I'M SO STOKED YOU HAVE NO IDEA...WHOO HOO!!
    When Doves Cry
    "When Doves Cry" (by Prince)
    How could you just leave me standing,
    Alone in a world so cold?
    Maybe you're just too demanding.
    Maybe I'm just like my father--too bold.
    Maybe you're just like my mother.
    She's never satisfied.
    Why do we scream at each other?
    This is what it sounds like,
    When doves cry.

    Which 80's Song Fits You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    Current Mood: bouncy
    Current Music: kaisa on the phone
    Sunday, November 9th, 2003
    9:04 pm
    we got 5th in STATE
    Girls Volleyball went to STATE and we got 5th whoooooooooo hooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! We could have gotten second but we messed up in our second game against Sherman and the ref screwed us out of probably 10 points...which sucked..then in our game against CORBETT, who we've beat 2 times before, we lost to which sucked. man oh man so we took 5th and if we would have beat Corbett we would have gotten 3rd place. I was just dissapointed that we lost to them because we've beat them 2 times before...grrrr. Oh well! BRAND NEW IS IN ONE WEEK MY GOD I"M SO EXCITED I LOVE BRAND NEW!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!! lol Me Kaisa Lane and Alex are going to's exciting.!! okay i'm going to go so talk to you latas...ciao!!
    Lots of Love, MandM

    Current Mood: exhausted
    Current Music: Taking Back Sunday
    Saturday, October 25th, 2003
    12:09 pm
    i hate
    okay i'm done writing in my journals...well online forever, they're dumb and people are dumb..ciao! MandM

    Current Mood: bitchy
    Current Music: Cheap Trick-The Flame
    Friday, October 10th, 2003
    11:16 pm
    baby boy...don't know the rest of the words...lalalalala
    Okay so i'm sitting here at Kaisas for the second night in a row...she's got SAT's in the morning so she's going to bed, where as I, I am sitting here talking to Nanna on the computer...great!! lol. Last night we went and watched SCHOOL OF ROCK that movie was so, i liked it a lot!! Definetly worth going and seeing. Then today we woke up at like 11:30 then went to Longview with mom and the kids and got home at 5ish..then at 6:30 was Tasha's bday party, and I left so I could come back here to Kaisas...we watched HOLES wow, that movie was so good, like it had a LONG, SLOW begining and I was like okay everyone said that this was good, what's going on here?? LOL then it got soo good, and i love it, it's amazing! I thought that it was funny in the 45 minutes that I was actually home Josh managed to call kinda quincadental..or however you spell Mmmmm...i'm eating some peanut M&M's..!! I talked to Cout yesterday, and I got my stuff back, but anyways, she was all telling me how she never hated me and all this, I was like oh okay, thinking, your quick at trying to turn me in to the cops, and quick at printing out my journal to try and get me into trouble...what'd I do to you?? what?? I HAVE NO REASON TO EVER WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER AGAIN!!!! Why would I be friends with someone who I can't trust, who wants to turn me into the fucking cops? who wants to send me to jail! yeah! i think not! Okay well i'm gonna go watch tv before bed so i'll talk to ya laters...lots of love, MandM

    Current Mood: dorky
    Current Music: J. Timberlake-Rock your body!
    Monday, October 6th, 2003
    8:52 pm

    Current Mood: peaceful
    Current Music: Nelly Furtado-I'm like a bird
    Sunday, October 5th, 2003
    11:16 am
    The Begining
    Okay so I did have a different journal, but some stupid people were stalking me, so I had to switch it. I know very sad, that one had lots and lots of memories in it. lol. So yeah. I don't really have much to say right now. Except for i'm sick and watching a stupid nascar I don't understand why Josh said that stuff last weekend...and now he's all i'm completely gay, it seems that every time that he likes me, and then doesn't HE GETS MORE AND MORE GAY!!!!!!!!! How do I manage to do this? Whatever, it's f-ed up! I had a dream about Chris last night, it was weird...I don't remember it, just that I was supposed to ask my mom about going to his house and then we were going to ride our bikes to Kai Emuras birthday Yeah it was really weird. Then I had this dream where I was supposed to be like washing all of these old guys, (old as in like 30-40) year old...yeah it was weird, they were like in these shower things, with no curtains and Ihad to get them what they wanted and all that but luckily I didn't see okay i'm going to go, Lots of Love, MandM

    Current Mood: stuffed up, especially my nose
    Current Music: Tom Petty and the heartbreakers-don't do me like that