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[28 Jan 2004|09:25pm] |
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Eamon-Dont Want You Back |
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It seems as life starts to get better..it just worsens..i finally talked to Austin today..hes going to Ft.Lauderdale HS..I kinda knew..it sux big time..but what can i do?..nothing..He should be with his friends..well im really upset now..im in tears, i have been for a while..Nicole talked to me today..supposedly there is stuff going around about austin and this other gurl..she told me she doesnt kno if they are together but she heard he admitted to liking her about two days ago..:-(..this really hurts..everyone keeps insiting i talk to him..but i cant..things are so different now..it doesnt feel the same..i dunno what to do..im so upset..no one understands as usual..i dont feel well at all..Nicoles encouraging me to "be strong"..its really hard when i love him..but if this is tru..then it wasnt meant to..:-( i guess thats the way life is.."All good things...must come to an end...."
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| ScReWeD uP wEeK |
[24 Jan 2004|01:42pm] |
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mood |
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"IMMATURE" lol |
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music |
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Dont tell me that its over by Blink 182 |
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Well my week went by fast we only had three days of skool..but we had our Algebra mid terms..i think i did okay..anyway i went to the movies last friday, with Alisha and Cassandra..and mom took Boston home..wow! what a big mistake that was..she embrassed me..anyways..Boston called me "IMMATURE" and said that me and my friends are messed up and all this stuff..he got me mad so i blocked him..and he called me soft..we kinda were at it yesterday..yelling back and forth..so i just ignored him and then Austin got upset..and was mad..so he wanted us to try and "solve" the problem..to tell the truth.. i dunt wanna solve it..im fine the way i am..besides why should we?..so we can get into another fite again..?! thats dumb..besides this is Boston we are talking about..hmm..yeah..i dunt wanna solve this..i told Austin that only time can heal this..its true..but i dont wanna solve it now..anyways..last nite I went to the movies with Alisha Cassandra and Maylin..and guess whos there?..BOSTON..ugh!!..i just walked away..but his friends Twinkie (Wesly) and Sean did come up to say Hi..I saw Fernanda too..she asked me if i wanted to go with them..but i said no b/c #1 Boston was with them and i didnt wanna be by him..and #2 I was with my friends..and i didnt wanna leave them..so we bought tickets so Cheaper by the Dozen and we were gunna sneak in to see ButterFly Effect..we got in but the security guard came in checkin tickets..so we had to leave..then we went to go see Along Came Polly but it was full so we had to leave..then we went to the mall..and we cart racing..i told cassandra not to flip me over..and what happenes i fliped out..but it was soooo funny..we were Laugin our azzes off..ohh..Charles was with us too and we had soo much fun..Maylin and Alisha were askin ppl for their #'s and stuff..it was Hilarious..it was soo much fun..it wouldve been better if my B/F was there tho.. :-(..but we had some good laughs..hahahah..today i went wit mom to Target :-D..i got new p/j pants..they are SUPERMAN ones..hehehe..they are cool..lol..im sucha dork..no but if he seriously thinks me and my friends are IMMATURE..then he didnt see the ppl outside last nite..oh and im gunna get my upper ear pierced..and maybe my lip..:-D..im kinda scared tho..lol..well..im bored and tired of typing..so Later ppl...
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[17 Jan 2004|02:42pm] |
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 loved |
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music |
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Angel by Shaggy |
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He's taking me back!!!!!........omg he loves me <3...YES!!! :-D...i love him sooooooo much..........
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[17 Jan 2004|02:22pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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Torn Natalie Imbruglia |
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NOTHINGS RITE IM SO TORN...I HAVE NO LUCK BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DONT MISS IT ALL THAT MUCH...
nothing ever works out for me..it was my fault for leaving austin and now i dont think he wants me back..:-(..im sooo stupid.....ugh!!!!!!!!!!...I wish i could go back and change everything!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrr...:-(..i g2g..i cant type..i dont feel good at all....:-(
I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!
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| My song to my Babe (Austin) |
[11 Jan 2004|01:54pm] |
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With You by Jessica Simpson |
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You speak and it's like a song
And just like that all my walls come down
It's like a private joke just meant for us to know
I relate to you naturally
Everybody else just fades away
Sometimes it's hard to breathe
Just knowing you found me
Cuz I'm still thinking about it almost forgot what it was like
Do you know what it feels like?
Cause with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before
I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now
Now that I'm with you
With you
Come and take me
Love you save me
Like nobody else
Now I can be myself
With you
:-D...<3 I Love You
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| What am I missing? |
[11 Jan 2004|12:52pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Come Clean by Hilary Duff |
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Life rite now is really complicated..im sick..tired..and just depressed..im worried about mom and her health..im scared rite now..i feel trapted..im on the verge rite now..my life just keeps going in a million directions. My friends arent doing too good..and im scared becuz im going to high skool in a few months..i mean..i feel like this is finally it..that my life is just about to begin..that the past years were just my "play around years"..Well Boston changed his profile..so instead of it sayin I Love Christine everywhere..he wrote me a poem..
Im sorry christine
im sorry for everything
and you love me
and that is how it should be
with all my heart, i pray
hoping we will be together and say
" love you"
People keep telling me that its a joke..not to fall for it..and so far i havent.. ive been ok..tho he tells all my friends that hes in love with me and that im his only love..he asked me out to the movies on Friday nite..i couldnt cuz i was at cassandras and on top of that its not rite..hes my ex and im with someone now..Alexa my friend told me that he probably does mean it becuz if he didnt he wouldnt be wasting his time..I just dont know what to do anymore..Boston was my 1st love and hes really special.. nothing could ever replace that..he will always be my baby..but rite no my heart belongs to another special guy..and he deserves it..and rite now hes mine..but what i hate is..Boston hits all my weak spots..he writes me poems and he does these things that amaze me..i just cant go back to him tho..hes had way too many chances and he blew them all..he hurt me too many times..and i dont think i wanna take it again..i wish we could go back..back to the begining..but we cant and it would never be the same..rite now my heart belongs to Austin and it has to stay..thats just the way it has to be..becuz i cannot bair to leave austin again..but rite now my heart feels so broken even if its not...:-(
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[07 Jan 2004|05:40pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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Low by kelly clarkson |
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2day suxed sooooooooooooooomuch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hated it!....ugh..i dont feel good..and im very upset..its kinda to much to explain rite now and besides i have to go to church tonite..so ill write about it later....i dont feel well and im really mad!!!!!!! ....so later ppl.
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[31 Dec 2003|09:41pm] |
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Ah push it by salt and pepper |
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Hello there people..I'm at Alisha's with her and Cassandra..we are hanging out..doing the little "HAPPY NEW YEAR' thing! We are just messing around...and calling people. Not many people are home though...i called Austin and he isnt home..hes probably at the park..anyways..im grounded from the computer and the phone..i can only be on the fone for only like 5 mins..which sux..but im only grounded for today..woohoo!!..im hyper..woohoo..we are dancing around her room and acting like retards!!...yeah anyways ima go jump on the trampiline cuz im relly hyper and bored!!...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2004!!!....WOOHOOOOOOOOOO :-D... hey austin..my babe...i love you..and happy new year hun!! <333333...x0x0x0...Later ppl!!
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[30 Dec 2003|07:04pm] |
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mood |
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 scared |
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Feeling This by Blink 182 |
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Hey..well i read Austin's journal..:-D..I'm really happy with him..he makes me feel so good..and what is weird is when im with him i dont get nervous..i can tell him anything. Me and him never fite..we play around, but never get mad at each other :-)..Anyways..last nite i went with Cassandras to her mom's and we saw Chris... we hung out for like 5 mins, then we had to go back to her mom's house. Anyways today was my last day babysitting Kayla..tomorrow i have to work AGAIN..i have to start my project, then i have to something else for dad..OMfG! Mommy's crying...i just went in her room..and she doesn't feel good at all! I'm really scared..i hate her being sick..im making her tea ..but im really upset now!!...i'll write later..im making Tea...:-(..omg..im really worried!
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| AUSTIN'S SURVEY |
[29 Dec 2003|01:59pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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Wheres the Love by Black Eyed Peas & Justin Timberlake |
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BODY ILLS AND SKILLS
Nervous Habits: biting nails
Do you bite your nails?: yeah
Do you pick your nose?: no!!
Are you double jointed?: yea
Can you roll your tongue?: sometimes (only with SKITTLE
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?: no
Can you blow spit bubbles?: yea
Can you flare your nostrils?: hahaha yea
Can you cross your eyes?: yup
Tattoos?: not yet
Piercings?: no(i want my tongue and lip though)
Do you make your bed daily?: no
CLOTHES
Which shoe goes on first?: i dunno
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet?:like 20, 30 What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: my chain
What's sexiest on a girl?: eyes lips
Would you rather be on time and look OK or 10 minutes late and look great?: i always look great n e way lol
Favorite piece of clothing: shirts
Pajamas: my pink ducky ones
FOOD
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl
Have you ever eaten Spam?: nope
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: mint chocolate chip
How many cereals in your cabinet?:5
What's your favorite beverage?: Sprite or STRAWBERRY LIP GLOSS lol
What's your favorite restaurant?: fudruckers
What utensils do you use to eat pizza?: none
Do you cook?: sometimes
GROOMING
How often do you brush your teeth?: twice
How often do you shower/bathe?: three times a day (alone :(
How long does your shower last?: 20 to 30 mins
Hair drying method: air Dry
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?: yea
Do you paint your nails?: no
MANNERS
Do you swear?: yea
Do you ever spit?: sometimes
IN AND AROUND
The CD Player: My mix
Person you talk on the phone with the most: CHRISTINE
Ever taken a cab?: yea
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors?: yea cuz im so sexy
What color is your bedroom?: white
Do you use an alarm clock?: yeah but i dont use it
Name one thing you are obsessed with: christines suger
Have you ever skinny-dipped with the opposite sex?:yea
Ever sunbathed nude?: partly
Window seat or aisle?: wherever CHRISTINE is
LA LA LAND
What's your sleeping position?: 69 lol
What kind of bed do you like?: ones with CHRISTINE in them
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?: no i sleep naked
Do you snore?: occasionaly Do you sleepwalk?: no
Do you talk in your sleep?: yea
Do you sleep with a stuffed animals?:yea but i wish it was CHRISTINE
How about with the light on?: i like them off better
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?: yup
THE FUTURE
Where do you see yourself in ten years?: i dunno
Who are you going to be married to?: I dunno..but i want it to be CHRISTINE..:-D
How many kids?: 2
Your profession: footbal player
Future School: UM
Car of Your Dreams: honda s 2000
I wanna live: In a HUGE house with CHRISTINE (my wife)
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[28 Dec 2003|10:13pm] |
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Tomorrow by Lilix |
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a girl asked a guy if she was pretty
he said no
the girl asked that guy if he would want her with him forever
he said no
the girl asked him if he would cry if she walked away
he again said no
as the girl walked away, he grabbed her arm and looked in her eyes
he said " ur not pretty, ur beautiful, i wouldn't want you to be with me forever, i NEED you forever, and i wouldn't cry if you walked way, i would die"
-----Boston
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[28 Dec 2003|10:07pm] |
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You by Switchfoot |
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"Its better to have my love and not need it then to need me love and not have it"
"Its like he is a river and you and me are on the same side, when the river is rough you come to me, but when it is calm you go to it"
-Austin-
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[28 Dec 2003|09:44pm] |
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Its My Life by No Doubt |
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BODY ILLS AND SKILLS
Nervous Habits: biting my nails
Do you bite your nails?: yeah
Do you pick your nose?: no
Are you double jointed?: nope
Can you roll your tongue?: sometimes
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?: yup
Can you blow smoke rings?: umm no
Can you blow spit bubbles?: yes!!
Can you flare your nostrils?: hahaha yea
Can you cross your eyes?: yup
Tattoos?: naw..
Piercings?: yup my ears
Do you make your bed daily?: no..what for..
CLOTHES
Which shoe goes on first?: i dunno..hmm..never thot about it
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet?:haha none..im rolling pennies
What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: yes my neckalace, my bracelets, rings, earings
What's sexiest on a guy?: eyes, smile
Would you rather be on time and look OK or 10 minutes late and look great?: depends what its for
Favorite piece of clothing: shirts
Pajamas: my plaid Old Navy pants
FOOD
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl..its more fun :-D
Have you ever eaten Spam?: nope
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Cookies N Cream or Vanilla
How many cereals in your cabinet?: like 4
What's your favorite beverage?: Sprite or Orange Soda
What's your favorite restaurant?: Wendy's and Burgar King
What utensils do you use to eat pizza?: none ..(my hands..if thats a utensil?)
Do you cook?: sometimes...(Noddles, macaroni, cake and other stuff)
GROOMING
How often do you brush your teeth?: once, twice if i want to
How often do you shower/bathe?: once, twice if i want to
How long does your shower last?: 15 to 20 mins
Hair drying method: Towel Dry
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?: nope
Do you paint your nails?: sometimes
MANNERS
Do you swear?: not often
Do you ever spit?: sometimes
IN AND AROUND
The CD Player: My rock mix (Blink 182 , Linkin Park, Lilix...)
Person you talk on the phone with the most: AUSTIN
Ever taken a cab?: nope
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors?: nope
What color is your bedroom?: pink (not my idea)
Do you use an alarm clock?: yeah but i dont use it
Name one thing you are obsessed with: My computer
Have you ever skinny-dipped with the opposite sex?: nope
Ever sunbathed nude?: no
Window seat or aisle?: depends
LA LA LAND
What's your sleeping position?: sides, back, stomach
What kind of bed do you like?: QUEEN sizes ones (lol)
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?: yup
Do you snore?: nope
Do you sleepwalk?: i dunno
Do you talk in your sleep?: heheh..yea
Do you sleep with a stuffed animals?: i have some on my bed but i sleep with my star pillow
How about with the light on?: i like them off better
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?: yup
THE FUTURE
Where do you see yourself in ten years?: i dunno
Who are you going to be married to?: I dunno..but at this point i want it to be AUSTIN :-D
How many kids?: 5 (Barbara's grandchildern..LoL) maybe 2
Your profession:Lawyer
Future School: UM
Car of Your Dreams: Honda Accord
I wanna live: In a HUGE house with a Big backyard..:-D
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[28 Dec 2003|02:43pm] |
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Toxic |
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This is my new Blurty Journal!! Yay! Anyways, i'm sleepy..i just woke up a little while ago..and im being really lazy :-\ Last nite i went to Cassandras for a while and hung out with her and Alisha..we were taking 'pictures' with the digital camera. (lol). Friday nite was fun..at least for me..i did little talking that nite tho..only because Cassandra, Alisha, and me were at the park with Austin. LOL...They were talking and laughing, but I wasn't..(hehehe)..Anyway, New Years is coming soon, i wanna go out, but dont know where..maybe i'll go to Austin's or something..i dunno yet. Yeah well, tomorrow I have to Babysit Kayla..and i think i have til Wednesday..i dont do much.. i just supervise, Melissa's the one who plays with her, i do sometimes...if i feel like it. LoL..anyways..I think we might go to Orlando for New Years, but I'm not sure..we went last year..it was okay.. tho we went to Island of Adventures...most all rides there are water ones, and it was Freezing over there..so we didn't go on hardly anything. Anyways, i was talking to Austin on the phone..he is..well hes really close to me...thats good tho..i guess..everything is great, but i just with Boston would let things be..i mean..hes fighting with Austin and its getting me mad, because he did the same thing with Eddie and he wont even tell me why he pulls all this crap..i dont care what the reason is, i just wish it would all stop..because it isnt fair, and i guess boys will be boys, but it seems like if he really cared, he wouldnt be acting this way, that just shows how he really is and that he doesnt care..but whatever..its not my problem..its his!
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