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Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
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9:27 pm - this journal has died..
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okay... dead journal.... the new journal is located at....
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Poeticpyro
it's a fun place... i finally converted to xanga... only problem you can't leave me a comment unless you're a member.. but you can still comment on here... i'll get them in my e-mail i promise.. take care everyone...ciao all...
current mood:  contemplative
current music: dumb and dumber
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| Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005
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11:19 pm - FUN
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today was fun... senior pictures... ice cream.... shirt painting... sleep.... um... yeah it was just amazing... i am going to go back to watching my movies and talking to my soldier/marine buddies who are in iraq fighting for us... ciao all...
my f key broke grrrrrrr....
take care everyone...
shout outs:
kris- holy shit i miss you
carl- i miss you so much... cut back on the drinking, i know you're lonely...
justin- thanks so so much... you make me happy
kristen- GHETTO EMO yay
Mongoose- CALL ME
Jason- call me
Jason (corpsman)- CALL me... hugs hope corps school isn't killing you....
david- i miss u....
um...............
jonas- THANKS for everything you make my days brighter and you always make me smile... thanks for being here often even though you're in Germany...
current mood:  ecstatic
current music: happy gilmore
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| Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
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11:45 pm - i wanna sleep!!
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today was amazing... check out the xanga for more, i just thought that i would type something in here too... but damn it was a fun day... and i got to paint my shirts!!!!! and a visor for lifeguarding.. the shirts are cool two for sleeping one for guarding... i'm going to paint the backs tomorrow. crap.... the polish on my toes are sticking my toes together... ARG!!! lol... i'm going to take a little while to sleep tonight i guess.... so goodnight all... i need the sleep.
shout outs...
eh.. i'll do it later... i'm too damn tired...
current mood:  impressed
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| Monday, June 20th, 2005
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10:28 am - poo on the SAT
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so i don't know what i got exactly, but it's not looking good.... dammit.... i wanted a 1300+ but no i'm not smart enough... damn the sat.... it means so much, and it's 5 hours long and i thought i did really well but i didn't i suck.... by cruel world... i'm going to go and cry into my pillow.... FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
current mood:  pissed off
current music: ROCK and ROLL
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| Sunday, June 19th, 2005
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11:01 pm - updating often, but no comments...
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gosh... this journal is dying... no one is responding to anything... i even have poems on here dammit!! well... i do love you all anyway... and yes i miss a lot of you. Summer is going... and going... i'm working everyday... shit... lol, but hey it's a life... i'm going to get a full time job when school kicks up, i'm thinking aquatic center... but i'm not sure. i don't know what to do a lot is going on and i just wanna run away. but who knows right? i mean... i'm going through a lot... Drum Majors!! woot woot... gosh, it's going to be a lot of work especially to keep the band focused lol... well there's a lot that needs to be done... i hope everyone is doing well. and i'm going to try to keep updating this journal and my xanga daily... so keep reading, if you miss a day there's more to read... muah ha ha ha ha... take care everyone... i'll be around if you need me. take care... ciao all....
jonas, josh, john, jason, jason, rick, mongoose, gosh there are a ton of you, matt.... penguin, everyone... damn i miss you and love ya! ciao all... please take care my military/firemen/emts.... the world needs you....
* SUPPORT OUR TROOPS * (they get paid NOTHING to do a dangerous job and protect us from harm)
current mood:  hot
current music: THE INCREDIBLES
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| Saturday, June 18th, 2005
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11:22 pm - long night....
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today was a really really busy day, please don't think that you made it so bad, none of you did.... i had babysitting followed by running around to get the perfect father's day gift... god it was 20 bucks... grrrrrrrrrrr.... but i got a gift of The Incredibles lol... so that was amazing... i want everyone to be happy, but i know a ton of people are getting depressed over the break, i'm sorry all... i really wish you weren't depressed... i worked a lot today... 5 hours (lifeguarding)... and yes there was an amazing splash fight... me and the moms vs. dads and all kids... it was 3 against 24 lol.... unfair... well.. i hope everyone has an amazing night/day... whatever time it is when you're reading this... NO ONE comments anymore :( i'm going to cry... well... comment please... i love getting them... just leave your name... or something that i'd know you by... take care everyone... goodnight.... ciao...
shout outs go to all of my boys who are currently serving overseas or are in the military, active or not.... i love you all!!!!
jonas- i'm alive see!
mongoosey- i miss you....
josh- I NEED YOU!
hmm......
current mood:  calm
current music: the incredibles
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| Friday, June 17th, 2005
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11:35 pm - listening to music, going to let all of this pain go....
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ok... it's time for me to let all the pain go...
i'm listening to music and thinking about me... my life... and everything else.... i have a lot going on wow... i've been really happy lately, and yes i made people cry because i was so happy... well... take care everyone... poem is below... you know me, always writing... god i can't type or spell tonight.... oh well.. bare with me...
rain outside of my window hitting the street so black
listening to music while lying on my back
letting go of all that puts a frown on my face
the music takes me away to an imaginary place
with waterfalls and other things to help me rest
i'm in love with music, it's the best!
a new beginning (dancer's heart)
a new beginning or another end
i really don't know where to begin
so there once was a girl with hair so long
she loved to hum to every new song
she'd skip and she'd play
until one day that everything suddenly changed
she took it upon herself to preserve
all of the luxuries that she deserved
she kept the music and some old shoes
she really didn't have much to lose
she'd turn the music on, classical to rock
put on the silky pink shoes that felt like a wooden block
the music took control, she let her body go
as it gracefully moved to and fro
each beat created a word to the story displayed
that caught the eyes of everyone, her spirit never did fade
she danced on until the music came to an end
but there wasn't silence, but the roar of friends
applause and thanking her for the show
if only the people would know
that she only dances for the fun
and for the pleasure of everyone
she doesn't dance for the money or the applause
she does it for another cause
to keep others happy
and show them the world of music and dance
so when the music ends, it's really a new beginning
since she has touched the hearts of many, grinning...
the end...
no copying...
current mood:  artistic
current music: ROCK and ROLL
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| Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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10:42 am - sadness
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gosh... so no one calls me when i'm not busy... it seems that everytime i get a call from someone who i need to talk to i'm on the phone with someone else who's also important... oh well. i'm actually happy though that i got to talk to aaron and i'm mad that i missed josh's call.... grrr i needed to talk to you. mongoose is working his little heart out... well he doesn't have a small heart because he actually cares and loves me... just like josh and carl... *hugs* well... i'm tired and i'm going to try to get some rest before i have to go bake in the sun again... *sigh*... 4 hours in the heat... and i'm going to cry i know it... fuck.... oh well... take care everyone... *support our troops* and check out my xanga.
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Poeticpyro
well all... i'm outta here... ciao...
shout outs: you know i love ya!
current mood:  tired
current music: Clean Sweep
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| Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
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11:29 pm - yeah buddy
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work sucked.. i was lazy and didn't clean my room... crap.... ankle is f_____ over.... but oh well... ciao all love ya carl and matt and mongoosey and jason and... gah there are so many of you.. yes it's a short entry, but i'm tired and in a lot of pain... i'll write more tomorrow morning...
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ha ha ha lines
current mood:  amused
current music: non
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| Monday, June 13th, 2005
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11:14 pm - SLEEP!!!
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OMG today was eventful... 10+ hours of work and an awesome dinner, but yeah... some girls while i was guarding hurt my ankle... i have sun burned toes... shit... pointe is going to hurt. *snuggles up with biscuit* i miss mongoosey and a lot of other people... bob, cameron, kristen, mel, nicole, christine, gosh so many.... but i'm in a lot of pain... today was confusing and long.... i know there isn't such a thing as a pointless day but damn i'm in pain and i didn't want to feel this hurt... no david this has NOTHING to do with you.... i'm going to get some sleep and stretch... yes i need to lose weight... i've been eating too too much... no more taking me to dinner anyone, unless you don't mind me barely eating... love ya!
*support our troops, they get paid nothing to keep us safe* LOVE YA MATT and CARL
current mood:  full
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| Sunday, June 12th, 2005
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10:08 am - wee... more work...
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the weather here sucks, still rainy, i like it in a sense because it makes guarding easier, but it does make other things harder... wow i miss DMA... damn... well i have to get ready to get outta here.. and yes i got a xanga... sheesh... took me forever, but blurty is easier for me to use, therefore, this is still my main journal. i'm going to miss everyone more and more... gah... band camp is like a month away!!!! and my senior pictures thank god aren't until June 22nd... ha ha ha... i get some more time off... well... i have to go get my but downstairs and start working, the people need me.... ah.... the feeling of being needed... nice....well take care everyone, feel free to call my cell... i'll bring the charger with me and who knows i might bring my laptop down with me so i can keep in touch, boring day ahead.... no sleep last night... and wow.... madagascar isn't as good as i thought it would be, poor duckie! take care everyone... ciao...
*SUPPORT OUR TROOPS* i love ya: josh, mongoose, jason, jason, rick, david, branden, jonas, jeff, carl, port, so many people, kris, chris, and much much more.... love ya all!
DMA kids- it was amazing love ya!
*hugs* cameron and bob...
hearts
stars
and horse shoes
clovers
and blue moons
pots of gold
and rainbows
and the red balloons!
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Lucky Charms Commercial
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| Saturday, June 11th, 2005
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11:14 pm - Back from Louisiana
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hey all!
i haven't updated in forever because i was in LA with about 100 people doing 500 push-ups in one minute... it was harsh, but a lot of fun. GO DRUM MAJOR ACADEMY! i loved it... nicole, heather, cameron, bob, randell, christine, claire, nikki, alex, will, matt, omg it goes on and on... i love all of you so much... kisten, chris and mel... we bonded a lot. conducting, teaching, learning... eating amazing food... being on a bayou... omg it was an amazing experience... LUCKY CHARMS... i'm not saying anything else.... well maybe... hearts stars and horse shoes clovers and blue moons pots of gold and rainbows and the red balloons... and yes there were rainbows and it rained and it was hot and humid... but it was amazing... will: sparkle hut and everyone at DMA... DETAIL PRESENT ARMS... thank them please.... DETAIL ORDER ARMS! it was amazing i'm going back next year just for the fun of it, my mom is letting me!!! whoo hoo senior trip, DMA!!!! lol probably back at monroe too hee hee hee.. take care all.. love ya... i'm the happiest i have been in a long time... and it's because of the amazing week in Monroe... thanks everyone... ciao all... take care... e-mail me, leave comments, call me anything! ciao...
it's not them
or them
it's ME!!!!!!!!!
current mood:  dorky
current music: bourne idenity...
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| Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
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11:40 pm - rain rain please stay
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i want the rain to stay... it's rather nice. i didn't go to work today, got some rest and relaxation in though... meeting at nine AM... .umm it was tasty... although ferrell is leaving us :(... i'm actually going to miss her... i really am... DM isn't going to be the same OMG!!! well... there's a lot to get done.. i have work tomorrow no matter what in the morning... the only bad thing about the rain is that it's jipping me out of money, but i have the SAT on saturday and i'm scared to death.... crap i'll be fine... i'm smart... smarter than the average chick! lol...well take care all.... goodnight... sleep peacefully, i need my rest... yes i still feel like i'm dead... head is still killing me... *hugs to all* ciao....
jonas, carl, adam, adam, eric, jason (all 6 of you), john, port, carter, MATT, fraser, brunone, fortney, gray, kris, rick (i hope you feel better hun, i'm worried about you), mongoose, penguin, um......,anyone else who i'm forgetting...
love ya!
leave comments sheesh... this is such a dead journal...
current mood:  mellow
current music: FAMILY GUY
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| Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
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7:59 pm - nerves
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gosh... DM camp is well... next week... eek... and even closer is the SAT! ahhh... it's SATURDAY... because SATURDAY has SAT as it's abreviation lol... that's my corny theory. today was more rain... i got some of my summer reading done.. yay... it took a while. always does though. looking for chaos i don't see her in the tank.. nemo's eating all of the food. semper is still alive, but floating in the tank... kinda creepy... penguin is cute he's still a baby... and the other babies are getting harder to find, i have to clean them tonight :( arg... so much work to clean their tank... well i'm tired i need some sleep and some rest. i have a lot of shopping to do for drum major camp... just my luck. goodnight all... i'll write more later tonight... i'm going out to buy the incredibles lol... yes... it's a must have movie! ciao all....take care...
shout outs:
you know who you are *HUGS*
bad adam...depressed much?
current mood:  nervous
current music: cirque du soleil
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| Monday, May 30th, 2005
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11:42 pm - this guy...
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i've beaten myself up over this guy....
it's all my fault because i moved too fast, damn lonliness... it's just i want a good friend and he was there... he's cute, but only a tiny part of me wanted him as a boyfriend... majority of me wants him as a friend... but me being the bitch i am fucked it all up... and i've been beating myself up every night since... damn... no wonder why i'm alone huh? i am trying to be happy and let all of the pain flow out instead of keeping it in... i'm a firm believer in the "everything happens for a reason" philosophy... and i guess... my sorrow lately is to help me get over my pain... sounds dumb, but crying really helps me feel better... well.. that's all i'm writing now... i really should be asleep... got work tomorrow... whoo hoo... gotta put a smile on my face and make the world a better place... go vitamin c.... lol.. ciao..
current mood:  confused
current music: Vitamin C
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11:04 pm - Memorial Day...
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so today i got home after three... got off of work after 2 because of the rain, jipped me out of 4 lovely hours.. grrrrr... and then i had a lot to get done when i got home, but for some reason i had no energy and i didn't do it... gotta love being hit on the head... i thought a lot today... about well... everything. i hate the whole lonliness factor, it's really killing me. i met my new manager, i don't like him... he's not horrible, he's just... too immature... dammit chris h. i want you back!!! who knows? my mom got mad because i have to work like 3-5 pools since i can't get enough hours... yes i'm demanding a raise.. i need one... i'm really working hard for the company... so... damn... well. there has been a lot going on personal life wise... i can't wait to go to louisiana just to get away... but it'll be more work... i'm working 7 days a week now... i need the money badly. my paychecks are going to be small though... why do i have to take so much time off???? grrrrrr... well... there really has been a lot going on... adam... i know you hate me, but you helped and now you're gone. i just wish i had someone to talk to, this whole lonliness thing is killing me and i'm sure people enjoy watching from the sidelines...my mace is strange... put a pair of pointe shoes on it to make me remember... i'm going to put a few people's names on it or something... i don't know... my name is on it, just incase i get it confused lol... not going to happen. i have to put something small on melissa's... and by the way kristen, the maces are huge i don't know how we're going to take them. gosh... it's going to be a long ass night... i have some work i need to do... unfortunately... nothing is ever fully done is it? i don't know... a lot of people have been asking things of me and i just wish someone could be here... someone to talk to... i feel so alone, and i know my stresses aren't uncommon, but... i just want someone to hang out with.. someone to be a friend.... maybe i suck at being a friend, but i don't think so. chris is gone at some mission trip or something, damn... i'm excited about his mace... i can't wait to see melissa's face when she sees hers, i just have to remember to bring stuff for her. i'm really worried about the maces getting lost on the plane... i'll have to figure something out... i don't know. how the hell are they supposed to be any bigger than they already are??? i have to go out to party city some time and get a couple of small things... then i have to start packing this week since i'm working late every night... gotta love it... and the mom leaves for dc again :(... yes it makes me cry when she leaves... because home becomes very very stressful. i wish someone could live here with me... just to help me through everything... i'm not used to being yelled at for doing something or doing something wrong even though it's the way i was told to do it... but i guess i'll get it with DM. *sigh* work wasn't bad today... i just wish i could work with steven and ian... but no.. i got matt... >:| i hate matt... immature senior...grrrrrrrrr. *flops over* i'm so sleepy... getting ready to just jump out of here and cry... i need a hug... jason (vegas...) thanks for everything... i just wish i had u here... and not there... because there really aren't many people here anymore... who i can trust. *hugs* well everyone... i'm out for the night... i don't know how much i've written, i know it's just rambles, but... i'm only writing things as they come into my mind, nothing more nothing less... it's all i can expect myself to do right now... trying to get my mind off of the lonliness, drama and junk... goodnight all... *hugs to PORT* and all soldiers/marines that are active duty...
yes i cried tears today for you Matt, Port, Jason, Jason, John, all of my iraqi buddies.... *hugs* CARL!!!! i miss you....
ciao all....
current mood:  lonely
current music: hmm...more zoolander...
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| Sunday, May 29th, 2005
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10:48 pm - boredom
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well... today was a long day... recital went well.. i'm upset right now, i can't write it on here, too many words scattered thoughts... my mace is looking better... i like kristen's a lot... but... mine is getting there... i need to be alone right now... take care all... i just need a friend... i really do... the lonliness is killing me... but we all go through it... and we all get through... it's just time i guess... more time....they say time heals all wounds, this one's taken over a year... and it's still going lol...
adam- i understand i really do. *hugs* sorry... bye.
current mood:  sad
current music: gray's anatomy
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12:11 am - gosh... it's been busy...
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ok so sorry it's taken me like a week to write in here... since a whopping 7 of you actually read this, but it's better than no one... but i've been really really busy...
mon-wed rookie camp
tues... dinner with old/new drum majors
uh...
thursday... lots of work... babysitting new braces... much fun...
friday.. work 12.5 hours...met a hot guy... oh crap eh.. it's all good, he's cute.. love how he makes me smile..
saturday 8 hours of work followed by making maces... oh right... melissa's needs to be ghetto!!!
sunday... well eventually i'll get my ass to work and then i have rectial at blessed trinity.. whoo hoo...
um...
yeah...
it's just been really busy and it's going to get busier since it is memorial day weekend... *support our troops*
i want you home port... i miss you so so much.... u made my freshman year!
uh.........
shout outs...
HELLO ALL!
love ya...
got to get some shut eye for once... you all know i haven't been sleeping well... lots of crying... but the tears are drying up... thanks adam... gotta love actually being able to talk to someone.
awe... u got a comment.. feel special... because you are very special... have fun with the kids *that was a good comment by the way*
current mood: amused
current music: zoolander
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| Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
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10:05 am - wow...i'm sore...
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okay...
it's been a while since i actually wrote a lot in here, but here it goes....
Friday night I lifeguarded my old pool, good memories, kinda glad to not be working there though... it was a dead pool most of the year, no one was there and oh yeah... it was BORING... but it's in a nice ass neighborhood, most of the people are nice, some of the kids are spoiled rotten, but... money can do that to people. I'm so sleepy right now... let's see.... oh yeah... Saturday... I got up nice and early to be at the STEP field clean up day... oh wait... it only took an hour, good job guys... there were a lot of people there. I have to finish making the bracelets DM's... sorry. Then I came home and went shopping for some stuff that i needed for band camp and lifeguarding... got some cute tanks and flip flops. I had to go get new pointe shoes... gah... i got a discount though for being a good dancer... only $100 this time for two pairs of Grishko! Go Russian made shoes... anyways then I rushed home to get ready to go to work for 5 hours... it really wasn't that bad. I had to guard about 50+ people and then it went up to over 100... thank god for other guards... especially those who owe me... so then i fell asleep in my new Family Guy PJ's... the pants have brian on them and I made the top... it's lime green with all of the characters and on the back it says "Join the Army... visit exotic places... meet interesting people... then kill them." it was a fun shirt to make... loved the 'rents's reaction. so... i'm up now... gettting ready to clean my bathroom and room and maybe get a new pair of goggles.... wonder where i put the other ones, they were about 3 yrs old though.. well... i'm off to bigger and better things... ciao all... *hugs* take care....
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!!!!
Air Force- MATT, tim...not many of you....
Army- Regan, John, Eric, Glen, Eric, Jason, John, Austin, Rick, Chris, Larry, Chris, David, Josh, Jonas,Adam.... i know there are more of you, but I'm drawing a blank...
Marine Corps- Jason, Jason, John C., John, Eric, PORT, Josh, Kris, Glen, Chris, David, Brad, Carl, Tyler, Jeff, Jason S., Branden, .... once again i know there are more of you...
Navy- Kurt, Blake, Duncan, PENGUIN, Andrews, Davis, hmm... i can't remember your name.....
ROOKIE CAMP IS TOMORROW!!!!
current mood:  sore
current music: my tummy growling...
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| Friday, May 20th, 2005
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4:11 pm - posters...
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SCHOOL IS OVER! I had my last two finals of Junior year today...
don't know how i did..
decorated posters for ROOKIE CAMP, it was fun....
next comes decorating the room a little....
OFFICERS MEET at 8:15AM monday morning....
now it's time to cook dinner and get my ass to work... wooo lifeguarding in the rain!
ciao all... call the cell if you need me... PLEASE... interruptions are welcome...
current mood:  accomplished
current music: mmm... ravioli..... Lilo and Stitch
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