...   
08:00pm 30/06/2003
  I'm really scared and anxious right now.
I'm really vulnerable... I'm crying for no reason.
I don't know anyone anymore. I can't trust anyone.
Everyone's so shallow...

And everyone who isn't is breaking down.
I'm really scared.
I don't know if it's hormones, or a panic attack or what.

All I know is that I can feel the wall around me crumbling.
And I'm grabbing onto the pieces I can catch, hoping to glue them back together.

Well, I find myself loving everyone I can. And when they flake out, I'm left with a bunch of broken bricks and a huge world to face by myself.

There's no one in particular I'm talking about. But whenever I see the silver lining, it just turns out to be double-vision from low blood sugar. I don't know why I get excited so easily. And sometimes I end up loving someone I shouldn't be loving... That never turns out well. I've been stood up by too many people. I don't think I should put up this stupid wall around me anymore. It's kept me from the storms, the roughest weather... But now I need to face it all.

Today I went for a doctor appointment. She gave me a blood test, stuck a needle in my arm against my will, and made me piss in a cup. She then proceeded to tell me I'm healthy as a horse.

Yeah, well, I beg to differ.		  
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Jesus Christ...   
11:53pm 30/06/2003
 
mood: relieved
I feel like a huge weight's been lifted off my shoulders...

Everything's out in the open and I couldn't be happier. ^-^		  
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  pocketowl
 
 
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