10:43pm 11/10/2003
mood: relaxed
music: Aerials - System of a Down
Today has been rather quiet around the house. I don't usually sleep in so late, but there was no one around to make noise and wake me up. FiFi didn't make a peep until late in the morning. It was odd having the house to myself. I took a nice long shower, watched some TV hoping someone would come home and we could go out for dinner, but no one did.

So FiFi and I went out and celebrated by ourselves. Celebrate what? Well...my 24th birthday ^__^;; I took FiFi for a nice long walk at a nature preserve not to far away. Of course, I carried her most of the way, cause she has a hard time keeping up with me ^__^;; But it was fun. All these people kept coming up and wanting to pet her, complimenting her on her pretty pink collar ^__^ She loved the attention! You know... i think 98% of the people were girls. Weird. I guess most guys are too macho to admit that something is cute.

Then FiFi and I went out to dinner at this little cafe. We sat outside on the patio, cause I didn't think I should really take a dog into the restaurant. It was a pleasant day for it, so, we didn't mind ^__^ And, I don't really mind that it was such a quiet birthday. That's how my birthdays have always been, so that's ok ^__^

Now I'm jut hanging out in my room, listening to some music. FiFi is fast asleep. I guess our day out really tired her out. I think I'm going to go read some new manga I picked up. I wish the comic store woud hurry up and get the next issue of Gravi! I've been waiting for it to come out for so long!

well, ja ne ^__^

(2 plugged in | plug me in)

this, that, and don't forget the other.   
02:20pm 23/09/2003
mood: sleepy
music: Coming Home - The Tea Party
a lot of things sure have happened in the last little while! Sidd-niisan and Shouki-niisan came back from New York and they brought home the papillon puppy Sidd-niisan promised me! oh, she is so adorable! I've named her FiFi and she is the most perfect little angel ^____^ <3 Sidd-sempai also brought home a little boy puppy for himself, and is he ever a handful!

FiFi is such a little lady. She's perfectly content to snuggle inside my shirt and keep me company. She doesn't make very much fuss at all. It's so nice to have someone to keep me company all the time. Truthfully, I've been feeling somewhat lonely lately. Khan-chan and Kenshou-san are always wondering off a getting into trouble together. And ever since Shouki-san and Sidd-sempai came home from their vacation, they've been almost inseparable. and I miss Loa-san. I'm not sure where he disappeared to, but he's never around .__. I'm sure he would like to meet FiFi.

It's kinda of weird how everyone is sectioning off like that. When I got the idea to form a band, I figured everyone would be great friends and it'd kinda be like having a family, no da? a group of friends who could create music together and support each other. What I dreamer I was, ne? well... I have FiFi now to keep me company. She's curled up in my lap sleeping right now, it's so adorable ^___^!

We took Kenshou-san shapping the other night for clothes that are more appropriate for this job ^__^ It was pretty interesting. He really hated the idea at first, and it took him a long time to come around. He finally got into it when we got to the store and Khan-chan n' Shouki-san started pulling outfits off the rack for him. But then he only wanted to get one outfit! He actually had no say in the matter, because Shouki-san told him he would just come back later and buy the stuff for him ^__^;; Actually, we all ended up going home with stuff. I just got one pair of vinyl pants that have these big chunky buckles all the way up the legs ^__^ But I feel guilty for putting them on Taiyo-san's charge card. I mean, it was only one pair of pants, and everyone else got a lot more, but still... I hope Taiyo-san doesn't get angry that we spent so much. I wish Loa-san had been there, too. There were some really nice things there that would have looked good on him ^__^

Anyways *yawn* I think I'm going to join FiFi in having a little nap.

(plug me in)

09:55pm 10/09/2003
mood: bored
music: You Just Died - Icon of Coil
-- Name: my birthname is Jean-Luc, but I now go by Hyuzu ^__^
-- Birthdate: October 11, 1979
-- Birthplace: Paris, France
-- Current Location: Tokyo, Japan
-- Eye Color: pewter grey
-- Hair Color: Naturally it's a chocolate brown, but now I dye it DayGlo green ^o^ it's so hard to maintain though @__@
-- Height: 6'5"
-- Righty or Lefty: righty ^__^
-- Zodiac Sign: Libra - year of the Goat/Ram

-- Your heritage: my father is french, my mother is japanese ^o^
-- The shoes you wore today: I went barefoot all day today!
-- Your weakness: well, I don't have very good leadership qualities, i'm not very smart, I've been told I'm naive and clueless...
-- Your fears: that I will fail in trying to reach my dreams, that my bandmates will never get along with each other ...that I will get caught sleep-walking naked again @____@!!! *BLUSH*
-- Your perfect pizza: as long as it doesn't have any hot peppers on it, or anything that will burn a hole through my tongue, it's the perfect pizza!
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: obviously I would like for our band to get it's act together and produce a record and go on tour ^o^ you know, typical rock-star dream ^__^;;

-- Your most overused phrase: probably "nani?" because I'm not the brightest person ^__^;
-- Your thoughts first waking up: wheeee!
-- Your best physical feature: gosh, I don't know... probably my hair ^__^ it gets me a LOT of attention
-- Your bedtime: o__o i think i'm a little old for set bedtimes...
-- Your most missed memory: spending time with my nanny, Mademoiselle Vienne *smiles fondly*

-- Pepsi or Coke: blue pepsi is yummy!
-- McDonald's or Burger King: they're pretty much the same thing, aren't they?
-- Single or group dates: o__o...!
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Sidd-niisan's iced green tea!!
-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate!
-- Cappuccino or coffee: bleh, I don't drink coffee. I'd rather have tea

-- smoke: ew! absolutely not!
-- Cuss: very rarely
-- Sing: I like to sing, but I'm not very good at it ^__^ I'd rather play my bass
-- Take a shower everyday: every other day, because my hair takes too long to dry and the dye would fade too fast if I washed it everyday. also, i'd spend a fortune on shampoo @__@
-- Have a crush(es): not at the moment ^__^;;
-- Do you think you've been in love: Iie, I haven't found love yet
-- Want to go to college: I'm not smart enough ^__^;
-- Like high school: I didn't like the schools Maman and Papa sent me too....
-- Want to get married: Marriage is just a ceremony, love doesn't mean anything less just because you didn't have a ceremony, no da
-- Believe in yourself: I try, but sometimes I just don't know
-- Get motion sickness: nope!
-- Think you're attractive: I think my hair attracts attention, if that's what you mean ^___^;;;
-- Think you're a health freak: nope, but I don't eat poorly either ^__^
-- Get along with your parents: I guess you could say so...
-- Like thunderstorms: they're neat to watch ^___^
-- Play an instrument: the bass, of course! I can play guitar too, but not nearly as well

LAYER SIX: In the past six months...
-- Drink alcohol: Iie.
-- Smoke: I already told you I didn't smoke. bleh!
-- Done a drug: aside from advil for a headache? nope.
-- Had Sex: *CHOKE* no... *blushes profusely*
-- Made Out: no.... *still blushing in embarassment*
-- Gone on a date: @__@ who made this survey??
-- Gone to the mall?: ah, this is a better quesiton... of course! ^__^
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Iie, but it sounds yummy!
-- Eaten sushi: hai
-- Been on stage: hai ^__^
-- Gone skating: I can't skate @__@ I loose my balance easily cause I'm so tall...
-- Made homemade cookies: I haven't made cookies in years. Vienne-sempai and I used to make them all the time ^o^
-- Gone skinny dipping: *BLUSH* does sleep walking naked count for this question? *dies of embarassment*
-- Dyed your hair: I only WISH my hair was naturally neon green ^__^ hai, I dye my hair. a LOT.
-- Stolen anything: once... v__v

-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: o__o no...
-- If so, was it mixed company: i said i hadn't o__o!
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope
-- Been called a tease: Iie
-- Gotten beaten up: hai... I got picked on in grade school a lot
-- Shoplifted: like i said, once v_v
-- Changed who you were to fit in: sort of...

-- Age you hoping to be married: please see my above reply on marriage ^__^
-- Numbers and Names of Children: o__o i never thought about it....
-- Describe your dream wedding: i'd like to run naked through a field of wild flowers!! right...as if 9__9 you weren't paying attention!
-- How do you want to die: o__o i'd rather not die, thank you.
-- Where you want to go to college: I never went..
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: a rock star! ^o^
-- What country would you most like to visit: I would like to go back and visit France some day..

In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color? does it matter?
-- Best hair color? again, it doesn't matter
-- Short or long hair: ditto.
-- Height: Almost everyone is shorter then me in Japan!
-- Best weight: this section is full of stupid questions...
-- Best articles of clothing: the kind you wear?
-- Best first date location: i wouldn't know...
-- Best first kiss location: >__> moving along...

-- Number of drugs taken illegally: none
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: oh gosh, I could name quite a number of people here. I trust all of my bandmates and Sidd-niisan and Taiyo-san and Mademoiselle Vienne, Maman and Papa ^__^
-- Number of CDs that I own: too many to count!
-- Number of piercings: 4 ^__^ on in my left ear, two in my right ear and my right eyebrow
-- Number of tattoos: one ^o^ a pink bass guitar cable up the inside of my left arm
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: I don't think ever o__o
-- Number of scars on my body: i haven't a clue o__O
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: hnn, i don't think this is a fair quesiton for anyone.

(4 plugged in | plug me in)

02:25pm 09/09/2003
mood: drained
music: While we were hunting rabbits - Matthew Good
gomen nasai, I haven't written in a while. I guess I haven't really been feeling like myself lately. Kenshou-san and Shouki-san had to prod me into getting off my butt and going to get my bass so that we could try out a the song Shouki-san has been working on. That's not like me at all.

I've just been feeling rather drained by our current situation. It's understandable, right? It's hard being the peacekeeper of the household. Everyone has such strong opinions ...not to mention loud voices >__o

I think I might have scared them the other day, actually o__o Loa-san was acting kinda funny and he was picking on Kenshou-san, who was getting rather angry. Shouki-san came out at one point and joined in, i don't really remember the details... but suddenly I found myself on my feet and I was telling everyone to settle down. The room got really quiet and everyone was staring at me and apologizing...

I feel bad about it, cause I feel like I was just intimidating my bandmates, people I consider friends, with my height. It's why I sit on the floor a lot, I don't like making myself seem like I'm higher then or more important, ya know? well, that and I'm quite comfortable on the floor ^___^;; but that's not the point.

The point is, it's kinda weird that everyone looks to me for leadership. I'm not good with words or decisions or management stuff... i'm just not good at any of that kind of stuff, really. So it's strange when everyone refers to Maelstrom as my band, because I happened to go searching for band members in the first place.

anyways... i'm just feel really drained lately and I apologize if I don't seem like myself. Honestly, I'm not feeling 100% like me. I know it will pass, just bare with me, ne?

(plug me in)

11:07pm 28/08/2003
mood: optimistic
music: Sleepless Beauty - Nittle Grasper
ne, guess what?? We might have a band name picked out! We all sat around in the living room tonight (except Loa-san, cause he's still sick ;o;) and brainstormed. We didn't set out with that as our goal, the conversation just sort of drifted in that direction. Everyone had really good ideas, but there wasn't anything that either stood out enough or something that everyone liked. We were getting to the point where we were just going to give up for the night, when Shouki-niisan turned to me and said it was my turn to come up with a good suggestion ^__^;; My mind was blank. I don't think I even had a good suggestion the whole night. But then Khan-chan piped up and had a really good suggestion ^__^ Maelstrom. I didn't know what it meant, but it sounded really cool. Then he went on to explain that maelstrom is a powerful whirlpool created by conflicting tides. He said that we have a lot of conflict in our group, but that we produce something powerful (our music) that really draws you in and grabs you attention. And it just made even more sense.It has such a nice ring to it and it has a neat meaning ^__^

I dunno, what do you think? Kenshou-san didn't seem to care what we're called, which was a bit disheartening, but that's ok. I hope Loa-san likes the name ^__^ I wish I was as smart and creative like the others to have come up with such great suggestions ^__^;; I don't get why they look to me so much, when clearly they are smarter and more with it then I am.

I have a good feeling about things after tonight's little casual meeting ^__^ Maybe this is a sign that things are finally starting to work out, ne?

(1 plugged in | plug me in)

01:20am 26/08/2003
mood: worried
music: You Spin Me Round - Hate Dept.
ne, I hope Loa-san is doing alright. Sidd-sempai.. I mean, Sidd-niisan said that Loa-san was sick and that he thinks he has the flu! Poor Loa-san ;o; I'm sure Sidd-niisan's soup will help him feel better. I hope Sidd-niisan passed along my message and told Loa-san that I hope he gets better soon. Loa-san is always so nice to me ^__^ I don't know why he and Shouki-san don't get along. Actually, I don't understand why there are any problems in the band. I seem to get along nicely with everyone, I don't know why they have trouble with each other...

(2 plugged in | plug me in)

02:26am 25/08/2003
mood: sad
music: Sandy Planet - Tsuneo Imahori (Trigun)
.___. I'm feeling rather down right now... I had what I thought was a great idea for every member of our band to get one of these online journal things. See, we're having some problems getting along, so I thought that maybe if everyone kept a journal, maybe we could get a better understanding of each other and perhaps the bond we're lacking right now would be easier formed.

But no one else seems to share my excitement... my vision... I'm really worried that our band will fall apart before we've even picked a name! I just... I want to make music... i want my bandmates to get along and be happy and enjoy this experience as much as I am. We're very lucky to have gotten to the point we're at so far, but if we don't work at fixing our problems and trying to work better as a unit, then all of the work Taiyo-san and Sidd-niisan wil have been a great big waste.

how can we let this wonderful opportunity pass us by?? I for one will do my very best to make sure it doesn't!

(2 plugged in | plug me in)

we jammin'   
07:51pm 23/08/2003
mood: silly
music: jammin' on my bass

(3 plugged in | plug me in)