hey people...   
08:46am 22/05/2003
  wtf's up? nothing is going on here, i just took all of my exams...everyone is so tripping out cuz on school today this poor little girl got shanked. it was so freaking funny! i know that is really mean, but she is a bitch! she is really slutty, and everyone hates her...

anyways, i am starting work again! i will probably start on friday or saturday, back at the same place. i went up there, and jeremy and tim and robert and joe and marie and tina all said they missed me...tear...it's so great to be loved!

i am supposed to be graduating this year, and i can't...it sucks so freaking bad, i want to get out of this school!

jon is a really big jerk, but i still love him! i am so falling for him...everyone says i can't see past his good looks, but i really think he is a nice person. yesterday, we all went out to eat, and he bought me a rose...it was so sweet. and since he knows i don't drink hard liquor, he bought me an apple pucker when we went to the bar. tear.
12:56pm 22/05/2003
mood: flirty
music: haley's song--eminem
it's quiet now.

the leaves are gone, the wind has been silenced by it's own precautious thrill. the autumn twilight glimmers with it's awesome luminescence, not so much blending into the horizon as taking it for it's own. the quiet is almost unbearable. i can feel it like a presence, an ominous being with power over all who take it in.

if i take it in, it will become me. the quiet will take over my heart, and instead of blood, silver, glowing quietness will throb it's way through my arteries on it's way to poison my heart.

it's quiet now.

quiet scares me more than loudness, and you are not hear to cover my ears and shade my heart. it is to a great extent of pain that i sit pondering...

three sheets to the wind   
01:05pm 22/05/2003
mood: high
music: metallica--enter sandman
i swear to god, this weekend was such a trip! me, amanda, jamie, craig, josh, and lynne all got together and got so fucking stoned! it was so fucking funny! we got so high.... anyways, jamie and craig were all doing free style...(being a white girl, i personally don't think white guys can rap as well as black guys...but they did a hell of a good job!) and we all sat there and colored his table. now his table was all one color, when we got over our trip, we looked down and it was like black...

we all wrote our names on it...it was funny. anyways, me and jeremy had a party, too, last night after exams. we had it at his house, cuz he just got the pool. i don't know whether anyone had fun, we ran out of beer too fast, but i know me and jeremy tripped out!

he and i were sitting out on his little couch thingie out on the dock. we were laying there...

and see, i have liked him (??forever??) and i didn't know if he liked me. but all of a sudden i felt him whispereing something in my ear:

"you look so beautiful tonight..."

it was the best thing i have ever heard in my whole 18 years. i could have cried. next thing i knnow, he is kissing me, and i am kissing him.

see, i don't sleep with guys anymore that i don't know very well, and when i told him that, he understood completely. god, he is so sweet.

he knows why, too. my ex boyfriend came up to me drunk as hell and told me i was going to fuck him right them and righ now...and jeremy beat the shit out of him.

i love jeremy so much.
01:30pm 22/05/2003
mood: horny
music: cold play
i always fall for someone sometime someway or another...

that much is sure.

but do they always fall for me????

noo...but i think this time may be just a little bit different. i think this guy really really is interested in me. i know i am in him. god, he is so fine. lauren looked at him and just about died! what is it jeremy? the blonde hair, the blue eyes, or my spectacular body? which one? or the way i can turn you on with just a kiss?

he he he