PintsizedAngel's Fairy Dreams [entries|friends|calendar] PintsizedAngel [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[11 Oct 2004|05:27pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | cars on the street ] People really need to grow up. I'm the one in fucking college. I'm not a kid. I can handle it. Don't worry about me. I've been the mature one since I was a kid. Please respect that. Please see that I'm not about to spread rumors to a bunch of underclassmen whom I'm not friends with and who live an hour away from me. Tell me- why would I do that? Why would I bother? What's in it for me? Really. Just letting off some steam since too many people read my livejournal. Maybe this will be my venting/restriction diary. Woo-hoo. I hope no one still reads it. 97 pounds. It sucks. I'm in college and it's so much easier to restrict, but sometimes I don't bother. Sometimes I'm just hungry. But I can't be. I need to take control over myself. That means more restriction. Two of my floormates are "concerned". But I can't fucking gain weight just because you express some worry. I wish I could just "get over it", but I'm not ready. Ate approximately 145 calories so far today. I'm not sure about my dinner plans. 1 comment|post comment

[10 Dec 2003|11:05pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | movement upstairs ] Updating. Will write more later. Scandal with the livejournal, so maybe I'll start writing more in here since I don't have to make it friends only. Ashley is getting a blurty, hopefully. Good times. Into the Woods ended. I'll write more about it later. Love! -PSA 1 comment|post comment

[12 Oct 2003|02:42pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | z100 commercials ] Sorry for the entry-less diary. My bad. :/ Into the Woods started a month ago. I do have a part, which is fun and surprising. I'm "Florinda", one of Cinderella's stepsisters and I actually do a lot. Some rehearsals are better than others, but more than not- I'm having fun and making new friends. The younger kids are cool. I love Sarah G.- she's adorable. Sometimes I'm frustrated with my friends but overall, I think I'm enjoying myself. Yesterday I took the SATs for the second and LAST time. Afterwards, since both of us were skipping out on rehearsal, Ashley and I went out to lunch. Boy, it was a project just for her to get to my house. But we went to a diner in my town. I enjoyed myself and hopefully she did, too. We have a lot in common, actually. I love making friends with people I never thought I would. My dad's pleased because he loves Ashley. She's got the greatest voice, ever. LoL xoxo -PSA post comment

[11 Sep 2003|10:03pm] [ mood | bitchy ] The shit with garage has already started and tonight was just callback #3. The actual show hasn't even begun yet. Can you believe it? I can, easily. I guess I'm putting it on myself. Maybe reacting to everything in a way it shouldn't be reacted to. Cast list goes up on Saturday afternoon. I'm going to be a fucking tree, and I know it very well. I have till Sunday night to tell them I've quit. I guess that's smart. Before the show starts, if you know you're going to quit, you tell them. Yeah, smart. I don't want to have to quit but I do, I really do. Emotionally, Garage will be the death of me. I was miserable tonight, because I'm a little speck on the wall and everybody knows it. Garage isn't FUN anymore and hasn't been since I started forcing my fingers down my throat at rehearsals. It's stupid, really stupid. And I'm not going to discuss it anymore. I did nothing to commemorate 9/11. I feel guilty. I did write a poem. If you're interested, let me know. I'm not a poet, therefore, I suck. I suck at everything. Man, I'm so selfish. 1 comment|post comment

[30 Aug 2003|02:09pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | silence ] I'm back from my vacation to Wildwood. It was a good one. I got a lot of beaching in and ended up with a good tan, I suppose. I'm so exhausted, though and nearly every day I would fall asleep wherever we were. It was fun, though. The Tori concert was great, too. I bought a cute little wifebeater but it fits me like a dress. Whoops! Anyway, I just updated to say that I was back. I'm hoping to get in touch with Hannah tonight and see if she wants to do something. I miss my girls!! :( xoxo -PSA 1 comment|post comment

[21 Aug 2003|07:44am] [ mood | drained ] [ music | silence ] A - Age- 16 B - Band: Our Lady Peace, Linkin Park C - Choice Of Meat: chicken D - Dream Date: ice skating :) E - Excites You: being with friends, flirting F - Favorite Food: frozen grapes G - Greatest Gift: that I recieved? The journal from Chelsea for my last birthday. H - Happiest Day Of Your Life: has yet to happen I - Internal conflict: what to do..what to do.. J - Jelly Bean: blueberry K - Kool Aid: I don't know L - Love: is a mirage (erin, i totally agree) M - Most Valuable Thing You Own: my photo albums N - Name: Leah O - Outfit I Love: jeans, tank top (baby tee), flip-flops/birks P - Pizza Topping: white pizza is my fave Q - Question I want to ask: when will things get better? (Erin, I agree totally on this one. :( ) R - Roots: Italian, Romanian, Hungarian, English S - Sport to watch: Baseball T - TV show: General Hospital, Real World, Friends, Buffy U - Unique habits: none- lol. I do nothing special. V - View from the window: the houses across the street from one window. another house's window from the other window. W - Weather I Love: Thunderstorms X- ?: baah Y - Yesterday's best meal: hahahahaaaa. yesterday was awful. Z - Zodiac Sign: Libra- on the cusp of Scorpio but definitely a Libra. Stolen from Erin. I <3 you. -PSA 2 comments|post comment

[17 Aug 2003|08:38pm] [ mood | nauseated ] [ music | z100 commercials ] Long time, no write. I've been using my newest journal on livejournal so I've sort of been ignoring you. I need to keep it going because I have friends on blurty. Summer's been going alright. It's just mostly work and occasional social outings. All day today I was at Jennie's house in the Poconos with Jennie, her husband Joe, Denece, Sara, and Evan. It was fun. We hung out on her boat the whole day. We swam in the lake and I rode on the waverunner. SO much fun, let me tell you. I laughed a lot and didn't get boat sick at all which was way surprising. Bah- I think it waited until after I was off the boat and home for me to feel sick. Like, now. Ugh. Fucking nauseous. Blackout Thursday night messed up my plans with Melissa and now I won't see her. Bah humbug. I wanted to see her. I hate blackouts. I'm off. xoxo -PSA 3 comments|post comment

[03 Aug 2003|10:42pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | silence ] Stolen from Erin, who stole it from assorted other people. Who was the last person... [?] You touched? Josh [?] You talked to? Claire [?] you hugged? not sure [?] you instant messaged? Allie [?] You laughed with? the neighbors [?] You cried about? about? I don't know [?] You cried with? my mom, i think [?] You kissed? I don't know [?] You danced with? no one in a while [?] You punched? Josh [?] You bought something for? my mommy (Her birthday is today!) [?] You had sex with? no one Have you/are you/do you... [?] Have tattoos? nope [?] Piercings? ears [?] Own a webcam? no [?] Ever get off the damn computer? rarely. lol [?] Sprechen sie deutsche? not a chance [?] Habla espanol? Non. Je parle en peu de francais. [?] Ever broke the law? not really.. [?] Hot? hell no [?] kissed a boy/girl? eh.. Currents... [?] Current Clothes: light grey soffee shorts, pink tank that says "ATTITUDE" across the front in rhinestones [?] Current Hair: a really ugly ponytail [?] Current Annoyance: having to shower too late. I'm lazy. [?] Current thing you ought to be doing: showering [?] Current Favorite Group: don't know [?] Current movie In DVD: something my parents watched I think- Caberet, I think. [?] Current Refreshment: nothing [?] Current Worry: a lot [?] Current Crush: no crush [?] Current Music: none [?] Current fear: weight On Dating... [?] Long or short hair? in the middle..lol [?] Dark or blond hair? either [?] Tall or short? Tall, most definitely. [?] Sensitive or Funny? both please [?] Good or bad? either, but with a bit of a bad side [?] Dark or light eyes? light [?] Hat or no hat? either or [?] Pierced or no? who knows? [?] Freckles or none? depends A - Act your age?: either that or older.. B - Born on what day of the week?: Wednesday, I think. C - Chore you hate?: vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom D - Dad's name?: Clem E - Essential makeup item?: lip gloss F - Favorite actor(s)?: don't relaly have one G - Gold or silver?: Silver H - Hometown?: a suburb in NJ I - Instruments you play?: used to play clarinet J - Job title?: student or camp counseler. K - Kids?: none L - Living arrangements?: with my parents and younger brother M - Mom's name?: Debby N - Number of people you've slept with?: zip O - Overnight hospital stays?: none P - Phobia?: fat, death Q - Quote you like?: way too many to list R - Religious affiliation?: jewish S - Siblings?: younger brother, josh (almost 13) T - Time you wake up?: on weekdays, 7:20 am for work U - Unique habit?: I don't know V - Vegetable you refuse to eat?: any sprout W - Worst habit?: calorie counting X - X-rays you've had?: i've had gi series...and ultrasounds..no x-rays, i believe Y - Yummy food you make?: i make a mean birthday cake. lol- everything I make turns out relatively good except Kool Aid. Z - Zodiac Sign?: the scales- i'm a libra. Welcome to another work week! Enjoy! -PSA 2 comments|post comment

[02 Aug 2003|09:37am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | mother flipping through channels ] 1. My best friend is starving herself and purging her brains out with a fucking toothbrush. Moving on... There were only 2 nights where I did anything semi-exciting this week. Tuesday night, I went out to the mall with Chelsea and we had a great time. I really miss that girl and wish we could spend more time together. We bought the same denim skirt at American Eagle which was normally $54 but ended up being about $5 which is an awesome deal, if I may say so myself. We ate dinner in the food court, in a little hidden area, because I forgot how she hates to eat in front of people. We talked for a long time about certain things and it was enjoyable, yet frightening. We continued to shop and hang out, and then we drove back to her house where we talked in her room for about a half hour until my father came. She was reading old diary entries and they were really upsetting. Ones from when she was 12/13- so young, yet so depressed and sad. Gah. I really didn't want to leave and now I don't know if I'll see her before she leaves for San Francisco this week. Bah. Last night was the cast party and it was pretty good. I had a lot of fun, actually. I don't usually have fun at cast parties. It was at Barbara's big house. LoL We watched the DVD of Soap Opera which came out pretty good. Too bad we don't get it because Ray Davies is an ass. Boo! Anyway, we just hung around most of the time. Had a hysterical time listening to IP Relay. LoL I didn't get home till midnight and just woke up at 9:30 because my body hates me. :( I don't know what I'm doing today. I think I'm shopping for a birthday present for my mommy. Her birthday is this Sunday. She had been all excited because we've been planning to go out for hibachi Japanese tonight for her birthday. My dad tells me yesterday night that she doesn't want to go anymore- concerned about her weight. Now let me tell you- I don't think I've ever seen this woman eat more than 1000 calories a day. She's a healthy weight- not thin, not heavy but average and looks good. I hate that she doesn't want to go out to eat now because she was so excited to go. :( I fucking hate disordered eating/eating disorders. It's fucking up everyone's lives. xoxo -PSA p.s- I got a livejournal and I think I'll just be updating the blurty every now and then and using the livejournal more. I don't know who I'm going to give the link to, especially people "in real life" because there are things said in there about people who probably don't want it seen by people who know them. Get it? Good. 1 comment|post comment

[26 Jul 2003|03:16pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | silence ] I don't have much time to write, or maybe I do. Depending on how long it takes my g-ddamned mother to get ready. I'm not in the greatest of moods as of late. Yesterday, I had a regular day at camp. I chatted on the phone with Chelsea for about a half hour while at work. It was great to talk to her again. I eventually swam in the pool which was surprising, yet fun. I didn't have another pair of shorts so I took mine off, even though quite wet and let them air out for a while. It felt so weird to not be wearing shorts. My burn scar was quite visible but left no questions asked so I didn't really care. I left work at around 3:30 and got home at about 4. Hannah bailed out on me for Pippin at 6:30, a half hour before we needed to leave. I quickly called Emily and she came with me. The show was great, but Chelsea, above all, was AMAZING! For those familiar with the show "Pippin", Chelsea played the part of Catherine. I was so blown away by her. WooHoo! Julie, Mike, and Brittany were there so we talked during intermission a bit. Afterwards, Mike stayed with me and Emily while we waited for Chelsea. She came out and I gave her the flowers and card and then she left almost immediately because Mike, her boyfriend, was there. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess what they did last night. LoL Anyway. It was good to see her and I was glad that I went. I'm off to spend a boring night with my parents and family friends. I'm going to DIE. Tomorrow, I have a bunch of family members coming over but luckily, it's at my house so I can leave when I want. I'll see if Chelsea is going to CB at night. She told me yesterday that it's beginning to bore her. Ah well. Have a good weekend all. xoxo -PSA 1 comment|post comment

[21 Jul 2003|08:33pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | new Stacey Orrico song ] This weekend was slightly enjoyable, which is more enjoyable than my life has been lately. Friday night I did end up going to Mike and Josh's. When I showed up, it was me, Mike, Josh, Jason, David, David's sister Heather, Heather's boyfriend Jason, and Josh's girlfriend Alexis. We hung out mostly for a while and then Josh really wanted to start the game. So, he mixed my drink, and then forgot what he put in it which is a great sign. We got the game started and it was a lot of fun. Josh and Mike got drunk very fast. Jason is a hysterical drunk as is Josh. I didn't drink that much, mostly closed my mouth if we had to do something and I didn't want to drink that much. I'm a wuss but at least I drank! Hannah came at about 9 and just watched. I bet it's funny to be the only sober one. Eventually, another girl comes and then her boyfriend comes. Before I left, Anne from Footloose and a couple of her friends showed up. I left with a huge-ass headache and a buzz, which mostly wore off by the time I left at 11:30. It was fun, overall. I'll go to a party again. :) Too bad his parents are home. LoL Saturday afternoon I didn't really do anything. Diana called while I was out driving and then I called her back when I got home. We made plans to go to California Pizza Kitchen with her, me, Shelley, and Julie. I got picked up at 6:30 and the ride to Julie's was eventful because her mother wouldn't let her drive with Diana, who just got her license last Monday. Anyway, we had to park a block down and everything. Then Diana's car wouldn't start and Shelley's stepdad had to drive over and start it. It was funny, because we were commenting on how it was almost exactly like a teen show. You lie, something goes wrong, and then you learn a lesson. All in a half hour! Anyway, dinner was good. While we were waiting to be seated, we went to Jessica McClintock where I tried on a gorgeous dress for my brother's bar mitzvah. I want it! lol Anyway, after I got home at 10, I just stayed there. Yawn. Sunday, I went to a family thing on Long Island which wasn't horrendous. When I got home, Hannah called and invited me to go out to dinner with her family and then see "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen". So, I went and ate with her family whom I love. Afterwards, we walked to the theatre and saw the movie which was good. Then, I went home. LoL So much for an eventful weekend, eh? I'm upset about tomorrow night. We'll see what happens. Gah. I hate people. I wish some people would open their eyes to what they're doing. Maybe Denece will slap herself on the head tomorrow and realize I was talking about her and her group when I was bawling over the phone with her last week. Smart, huh? The burn looks fine. It's red and blotchy, but oh well. I think it's sort of pretty but that's just the self-destructive side of me showing through. I'm off to watch "I Am Sam". Have a good night! Liss, note sometime. post comment

[18 Jul 2003|04:06pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | "Don't Wanna Try" ] Boy, last night was eventful. I'm such an idiot. I had a relatively typical day at camp. We went to the pool and I spent town around my friends which was nice. Anyway, I've been pretty pissed about how awful my eating is going. Lately, I'm eating relatively normally, having days of restriction but I still seem to be gaining weight. Everynow and then, I'll weigh myself on the nurse's scale and the last time, it came to 96. I'm really unhappy with that amount. So, I've been pretty fed up. Fast forward to 5 o'clock yesterday evening. I salt and iced- badly. I held it on for about 40 seconds, which I now regret, of course. As soon as I took it off, the area seemed to have crusted over, with what I thought was skin, but later, as I wiped my leg, turned out to be wet salt. Boy, was I relieved. I was about to die when I thought my skin had crusted. It looked awful. Anyway, it hurt and seemed to be red but I was freaking out. I got online and talked to Nancy about it. As I continued to look at my thigh, it got worse and I didn't know what to do. I tried to concoct a lie to tell my parents because it looked like it really needed medical attention. So, I came up with a lie and went upstairs to alert the parentals. They freaked out. I told them that I burnt myself at the pool. My mom said that she wanted me to go into work this morning and tell Arthur about it so the kids don't get hurt. I didn't know what to do! I went upstairs to get it cleaned and covered and then grabbed my cell phone to call Denece. She's the only person who could possibly understand besides maybe Chelsea, but she probably had rehearsal. So, I called Denece and she was sooo sweet about it. She said that I really needed to tell my mother the truth and she's sure that my mother would understand and everything. I was bawling on the phone, it was bad. As we got off the phone, she said to call me later that night with what had happened. Almost immediately afterwards, I called my mother upstairs and told her the truth. It was so hard. She was real upset and just really cared and was real scared. She asked me how and it hurt so bad for me to have to say what I did. She had me promise several times last night that I won't do anything like that again. I said that I wouldn't and this was the big realization that I can't be doing this anymore. At 8, I called Denece to report. We talked for about 25 minutes. I told her that a lot of it stemmed from pain from some friendships, including hers which I didn't say. She basically said that I can't be doing this and if I am because of friends, I need to get new friends. I found that to be a tad ironic. Anyway, she was real sweet and said that if I ever needed anything, to call her or talk to her and that she'd always be there. I'm lucky to have that friendship, I suppose. Wow, I sound like a hypocrite. Tonight, I'm supposed to go to Mike and Josh's party. Emily was going to go with me but now she says she can't which I understand. However, now I'm unsure if I want to go. My mother wants me to go and socialize but she doesn't know that his parents aren't home and there will be alcohol there. I can't get drunk. We'll see. :( I really did want to go. I feel like a wuss. xoxo -PSA P.S- The burn seems to have gone down. I've had gauze on it since last night but took it off at about 1 this afternoon. You should've seen me lying to the camp nurse. Whoops. 3 comments|post comment

[15 Jul 2003|07:14pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | "Addicted"- Simple Plan ] Not a lot has gone on since my last entry, really. I've been really lonely and haven't done anything socially except for hanging out with people at work. Friday night, I went out to dinner with the family which was nice. Afterwards, we made my mother come with us to the mall after taunting her with it the whole night. She hates malls! Anyway, we went to this really upscale, high-end mall which is fun to look at, but tough on the wallet. My dad and I had gone a few weeks prior and I fell in love with The Pottery Barn. We went back this time and bought several things I had been eyeing the first go-round. We bought this nice striped pitcher, Spanish dance plates, and a nice pewter ice box. While browsing, I picked up the PBKids and PBTeen catalogs. Oh my! I'm totally redoing my room with Pottery Barn! LoL Saturday, I went to the mall with Josh which was alright. He's cool to hang out with sometimes. I did a lot of shopping. I bought a cheap tank top from AE and this AMAZING bag from a kiosque. I had eyed in a while ago when with Hannah. She was going to buy it as a belated b-day gift although I'm sure she forgot. It was Audrey Hepburn from Roman Holiday with rhinestones at different spots. Well, when I was there, they also had the same bag but a different picture- from Breakfast at Tiffany's. I bought this one. :) I'll take a picture of it soon. Muahaha. Work has been tiring. Grrr. Today went pretty fast and I didn't mind it. I hung out with all different people and I don't think "that" group is having problems with me. Denece did her normal "Did you eat?" comment to me, several times. She's like the camp mother, honestly. Then had issues when I told her I had yogurt. Her and Jennie are so funny. A few weeks ago, Tom was hanging around us like he does often. Tom is my brother's counseler- a sweet guy and nice on the eyes. Anyway, Jen goes "Tom, guys don't like skinny girls, right? They like girls with meat on their bones." and Tom was all, "Oh yeah. I hate skinny girls. I want a girl with something I can grab." I just laughed but it pissed me off. I'm not doing it to get in with a guy. Bah humbug. Hello, binge week #8 hundred million. I'm fed up with summer. GO AWAY! Chelsea sent out a mass e-mail today with info for "Pippin" for which I'm quite thankful. I need to talk to Hannah and then buy tickets ASAP. The show is next weekend- I'm so excited. A few weeks back, I e-mailed Chelsea because while reading "Lucky", I got a burst of creativity to begin writing my college essay. I had vaguely written about her in the beginning of it and e-mailed her to ask her permission, for it is heavy-duty stuff. She wrote back today saying it was fine to do it, just don't mention names, etc. The essay is going nowhere. I need motivation, people! Hopefully hanging with Emily tomorrow night. She just got back from the Medical Forum today and it was awesome to talk to her. She said she had a great time so now I'm real excited about my Forum in the fall. I need to get my application in. Oh, and then Mike IMed me talking about a party him and Josh are throwing because his parents are out of town this weekend. I guess that's where I'll be on Friday night. Knowing Josh, they'll be a shitload of alcohol there. Hmmm! He said to bring people. Anyone want to come? I guess I'll ask Hannah and Melissa. Maybe Emm too. We'll see. xoxo -PSA 3 comments|post comment

[12 Jul 2003|01:04pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | "I'm Glad"- J-Lo ] Not much has gone on since my last entry. I haven't really spoken to Jennie and Denece since. It probably looks like I'm trying to avoid them, but oh well. Walking down the hallway coming back from the nurse's office with one of my kids, Jennie is walking the opposite direction and says to me "Remember July 22nd" which is the date of her "party" thing. I guess I'm back in? We'll see. I'll go back to them at the pool on Tuesday and see how things work out. It's really not worth it to completely avoid them when I don't think they've realized they're doing anything wrong. Wednesday was the trip to Mountain Creek and it was beyond miserable. It was cold and icky out in town which only got worse when we hit Vernon because it's at a higher altitude. I could've sworn it was under 60 degrees and just wet and disgusting. The water was freezing and I barely did anything but go down the kiddie slide a few times with several campers. While waiting on line the 2nd time I went on, Adam is standing and waiting in front of me with Sara. Andy was in front of them and goes to Adam, "Why don't you want to go with me?" and Adam replies, "I like skinny girls", then turns to me and goes "I want to go on with you." It was beyond hysterical. This kid is the weirdest 5 year old I've ever, ever met. Anyway, it starts to rain at about 2 o'clock and then spent two hours hopping from umbrella, to store, to tent. I was freezing my ass off, it was so cold. I thought I was going to die. I would stand there, camper holding onto each hand, shivering. Grr... I hate being cold-blooded. A little bit later, I'm planning to go to the mall with Josh. It should be really interesting. He's a real good kid and we don't spend a lot of time together, just the two of us. Hopefully he's still up for it. xoxo -PSA 1 comment|post comment

[08 Jul 2003|09:26pm] [ mood | aggravated ] I don't know what it is that sets me apart from the others. And not in a "unique", positive way that people say sets them apart. I mean this in a pessimistic way. Like, why have I had 3 separate groups of "friends" who in 3 years have nearly left me out in the dust? All the time. Do they KNOW how much this hurts me? For example, my away message right now that's on says "I hope you know how much you're hurting me" which is incredibly true. I don't think I have any friends who haven't le me down in one way or another. I hurt. This hurts me. I'm fucking human, you know. When you consistantly leave me out of things, I break down. All the time. I'm always there and hanging out with them, but ultimately, I guess I'm just an outsider. No one wants me there, ever. Carkeys said that it's my friends' faults and that I need new friends. However, how can it be them if it's been THREE *separate* groups of friends? I mean, it has to be me. It has to be something that's wrong with me. You know? Ugh. I hate this. People show compassion, yes. It has to be fake, I know it. Be nice and compassionate to me but completely backstab me in the end. That hurts the most. Geezus, be fucking HONEST with me. If you really despise me, tell me and I'll stop making an ass out of myself by thinking I am your friend. I want to cut, desperately. I want to fast. I want them to know how much they're hurting me. What do I have to do to show you that you make me feel like shit? Tell me. 2 comments|post comment

[06 Jul 2003|08:56pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | "Bring Me to Life"- Evanescence ] Erin's home. May I repeat, Erin's HOME! WOOHOO! I'm so happy about this, it's not even funny. She was online before and I almost had a heart attack when I saw her name on my buddy list. I didn't get to really talk to her much but I'm just glad that she's home. I had sent her a letter a few weeks ago and it turns out that Hannah got it yesterday just forgot to bring it to Lauren's. Last night I went to Lauren's to wish her off. I got there at 7:30 and it was just Lauren and Chelsea when I got there. It was nice to see Chelsea again. I was happy. Hannah got there a little bit later and then Julie. Then we took a ride to stalk Chris at his house. It was funny. It was good to see Chris again. Ooo- he wasn't wearing a shirt! LoL- He's got a nice body, but a little skinny. Oh well. He's a cutie. Then we went back to her house where Nora was waiting. We got settled in and started watching "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" which we watched most of. Somewhere during the movie, Alex and Lisa came. Ashley came a little bit later. All 3 only stayed for 45 minutes or so which sucked. After we finished that movie, we started "Monty Python" which I don't find to be terribly entertaining but oh well. We watched most of that until it got boring. Towards the end of the first movie, Josh and Mike showed up which was cool. After "Monty Python", we were talking and Julie said that she wanted to watch "Into the Woods" so we started that. By then, it was about 11:15. My dad came to pick me up at 11:45, even though I wanted to stay longer. It was cool to hang out with them. I've been hanging out with that crowd a lot lately and it's a lot of fun. I want to talk to Chelsea. I think she's at rehearsal. I have to ask her a few things. Baaah. xoxo -PSA 2 comments|post comment

[02 Jul 2003|02:30pm] [ mood | lethargic ] [ music | z100 commercials ] Last night I had a really fun time at Barbara's. Hannah and I got practically lost on the way there, which is NO ONE'S fault even though I blamed it on Hannah. jk jk We were the first people there so we just chilled with Barb in her room before people showed up. Her house is enormous!! It's in a part of town where I've never been where the houses are big big big. Anyway, Justin and Keel (don't know how to spell, but this is how it's pronounced) showed up later. Lauren came afterwards followed by Julie and then by Brittany at about 8:30. (I had gotten there around 7) We hung around mostly, blasting music and chatting. We went down to her basement later on and played some pool. FYI- I suck but I don't mind. LoL- It was fun. We went back upstairs to Barbara's room and blasted music again. It's so hysterical. Then we went back downstairs at 9:30 to watch last week's Real World and then stayed at 10 to watch this week's episode. Nobody likes Leah. LoL- Poor girl. She has my name but no one likes her! Ah well. At 10:30 or so, we all, in two cars, went to Haagan Daz in town. Jon had come right beforehand which is cool, so he drove a few people. I drove in Barbara's car with Lauren and Keel. She's such a hysterical driver. Not as bad as Ashley, but very fast and such. I have no complaints, though. After that, we went back to Barbara's house and chatted in the kitchen. My dad came at 11:30 and I headed home. I had a lot of fun and hopefully I'll be chilling with that crowd a lot this summer. Tonight's the fireworks display in town and I invited Hannah but she has to clear it with the parents. I really want her to come because it'll be sort of boring with just my mother, since Josh has a baseball game and him and my dad are going to that. Oh well. We'll see! xoxo -PSA 1 comment|post comment

[29 Jun 2003|03:12pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | silence ] Alright. Yesterday was actually a day where I *did* something. LoL- All afternoon was Karen's baby shower and it wasn't as awful as I expected. I didn't have much interaction with that part of the family, though, which is relatively nice. LoL- I'm so mean. I mostly spent time with my mom, Aunt Mayra, Bryan, Lynda, and baby Breanna whom I love to death. She's the cutest, sweetest thing EVER. Awww! I meant to bring my digi cam but totally forgot. Whoops. Anyway, we left there at 6 and I could not, for the life of me, reach Nora to get info about her graduation party. Finally, I reached her and she said that everyone was going over to Josh and Mike's. So, after calling Mike about 10 times, I call his houseline (which is nearly forbidden. LoL) and get info. I was driven to his house and got there around 7:30. When I got there, Grant, Chris, Mike, Josh, Lauren, and Julie were already there. Eventually, Nora, Hannah (who left my photo album at NORA'S! Grr!), Alex, Alex's friend Jaime, Brittany, Barbara, and Nadia showed up. Jason and Keith came as well, which is fun times. Anyway, we watched a lot of TV- mostly Can't Hardly Wait, and this hysterical Japanese "extreme elimination" show. Then we watched about half of Scary Movie when everyone sort of parted. Most everyone went to 7-11 in Keith's car, but we had no idea where they are. Me, Hannah, Mike, and Barbara were running around the streets. I was very barefoot. LoL Then we decided to play Manhunt. But of course- me over here, I'm pretty scared of the dark. LoL- So, we count first and it took forever to find half of the people. It ended up that Keith, Lauren, and Julie just sort of came out since it took too long for us to find them. We were lax about it, though. It was my team's turn to hide and I had a really pathetic hiding spot and Keith found me pretty fast. He's just like "1-2-3 Manhunt..yeah.." and then he escorted me back to base (his car) which was pretty funny. We played for a little while longer, until about 11:15. At one point, I was in "jail" and Mike was on the other team. I was being sort of flirtacious and he's like "want to come find the others with me?". I went with him knowing FULL WELL that we weren't going to look for anyone. He took me in his backyard and we walked back and forth a couple of times. He was standing behind me but his arms were around my waist and his hands were clasping mine. It was very flirtacious. And he kept pulling me back when I wanted to go into the front yard. I eventually got away though. Why is it that when I finally do NOT have interest in him, he comes at me full force? Who knows? Anyway, we went back into the house and everyone left except for me so it was Mike, Jason (who was sleeping over) and Josh for about 10 minutes. I got home around 12:15 and went to bed around 1:30. Oy. It was a pretty fun night, overall, though. I need to get out and do fun things more often. I text messaged Chelsea before asking if she was going to Cool Beans tonight but no answer. I'm going to call her line in a few minutes and hopefully she's there and is going to CB tonight. I really want to see her. We'll see. xoxo -PSA post comment

[25 Jun 2003|06:22pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | silence ] I've been so busy lately- not. Geezus, no. I'm so incredibly bored. Monday, all I really did was drop off then pick up my film at Eckerd. The pictures didn't come out amazingly, but if you'd like to see some, note me and I'll send over the link. Anyway, I got an e-mail back from Cole which was nice. In my e-mail to her, I had apologized for a conversation we had had earlier in the day. At the cast party, as she was leaving, I asked her for a picture of us together. As she put her arm around me, she commented on how tiny I was which I quickly refuted. After T.C took the picture, she mentioned again how tiny I was and kept right on saying "No, I'm not" which she quickly responded with, "What do you want me to say? Oh, you're so fat!" jokingly. We both shrugged it off and she left. So, I apologized for that in the e-mail and she responded saying things like people die for the body that I have (which I know perfectly well!) and that they like tiny people on film (which I got a chuckle out of). I felt strange having her write that to me, but oh well. I got something in the mail on Monday about how McSpirit nominated me for the National Youth Leadership Forum on Defense, Intelligence, and Diplomacy this fall in D.C. I was so flattered and so excited! I got the formal invite and lots of information yesterday, including the registration form. I'm excited yet quite nervous. I think more excited than nervous, really. I feel so loved and flattered that McSpirit nominated me for this. Only 1 person from my school gets nominated a year. And this year, it's me. :) Last night, I went to Mike's house after much prodding from him. We just chilled and watched TV. As promised, he gave me a "massage". It's in quotes because it was more of him carressing my body. He went UNDER my shirt and all the way up to my shoulders via under my shirt to massage me. Tres uncomfortable, if I say so myself. I didn't know what to do. Oh well. It was nice, I guess. I'm not sure if I made a mistake or not on Monday night. I was talking to Ashley about dieting and she said that she can never succeed because she doesn't have enough willpower. Well, I took the initiative and am now helping Ashley diet. I haven't talked to her much lately, but I gave her the link to DIT and she said that it's been helping. Geez, Hannah's probably going to have a heart attack if she finds Ashley posting. Very interesting, eh? I'm off to go out driving. Fuuun! ::rolls eyes:: xoxo -PSA 2 comments|post comment

[23 Jun 2003|12:29pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | z100 commercials ] Sunday's show was actually pretty good. I don't think that there were any problems at all. We started late though, because Cole didn't show up until 10 of 3 and the band didn't show up until about 3 (the show is supposed to start at 3) but that's not a big deal. Cole had a doctor's appt or something about the eye and it turns out that the contact must have come out of her eye when Chelsea hit her so it was never in her eye afterwards. That's a relief. Anyway, the show went well. For some reason, Michael took a while to start "Headmaster" and I'm still not sure why. (Hannah? Any reason why? Since you were on stage...) Cole and I talked backstage during "Headmaster" and "Hardway" which was fun. There was a little girl in the front who was SO adorable. She was sitting on her father's lap the entire time and dancing to all the songs, including "Hardway" which stunned us all. LoL Fun times, though. I was really sad after the show. I don't want to leave all of these cool people. I'm terribly afraid that the past few months working with the adults will be forgotten and I'll never see the adults again. I have to remember to ask Chelsea for Mike's s/n and I'd love for Cole to e-mail me back sometime. LoL Anyway, after the show was the teeny little cast party. Most of the ensemble left almost immediatly as did Loribeth and Darren. All we did was hang out really. They had food and Nadia and I both went straight for the grapes (is my theory about Nadia correct?) and had several stalks of grapes. We both got sick afterwards. Oops. They had loads of vegetables and I only had a couple. I tried to purge everything in the bathroom right next to where everyone was which was STUPID. I should just tattoo the word 'idiot' to my forehead, no? I chatted with Canedy and Cole a lot and took lots of pictures. I got a picture with Cole, and one with Michael which is fun times. After I get offline, I'm going to get dressed and walk to Eckerd to drop off my film. I don't know if I have enough money, though since my mom stole a $5 from me yesterday. Oh well. Anyway, I left the party at about 7:45. I am really sad it's over and I hope I can make it to Barbara's party. She better not have it on a weekday, during the day, because girl, I have to work! I have a work meeting tonight and I'm supposed to find out my group. I really want to be with Jennie's group, not Judy's. And I really hope I'm not in a group with Valerie. Oy. Shoot me. Baaah. xoxo -PSA post comment

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