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(red wine) this is the end [03 Jan 2004|08:08pm] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | mom playing piano ] well friends, i just got a new online journal at livejournal.com, you can check me out over there if you want (but i doubt anyone loves me THAT much) but my new user name is pinkunicorn7 at the livejournal thing http://www.livejournal.com/users/pinkunicorn7/ i know this is kinda sad, i didnt really want to switch but caroline kinda made me. :( ill still come check to see if anyone left me comments if you want to drop me a love letter. k bye.

(red wine) brads birthday [01 Jan 2004|07:58pm] [ mood | rejected ] [ music | explosions in the sky ] New years kinda sucked but kinda didnt. Me, Caroline and Seth went to the PDAP lock-in thing. It was really boring and slow during meetings which seemed to happen way too much. I did have fun dancing, most of the time i was trying to cheer up aaron but that seemed impossible. At 2:00 a.m i had this weird urge to call my mom, like i missed her. Thats pretty sad. It seems the older i get the more dependent i am toward her. Its going to be hard moving out in 2 years. I met a few new people and that was cool, but most of them were kinda obnoxious. I do need more tolerance when it comes to people. I've come to the conclusion that i really am kinda a loner, most def. not a people person. I wish i could change that fact about myself because it does sound like im some arrogant, self-centered bitch, but i promise im not. Ok well anyways so i didnt sleep at all last night until about 8:30 a.m when i got home. Then i slept until about 6. I'm still really tired and i cant shake this whole mood that is consuming me for a LONG fucking time. Its like i just feel so useless and melancholy, jealous but not really of a certain person. I'm getting really pissed off at the world almost. Its like i want to be able to drink when i want, and i want to be on my own and go to college and have a job. I just want to grow up so fast, but then again im scared shitless of getting old. Last night emily asked me if it was normal to be afarid of dying. I know i think about it all the time, who knows if its normal. I used to think my mom wanted to die by the way she would refer to it so sweetly. Like it would be a relief to face the inevidable as soon as possible. But the other day she said something really odd. She said, " i dont think theres one person who really wants to die." And it was just this alarm in my head sounding, as if saying, god i dont want to die. Why is there so much expected from humans if we all are going to see the same fate. Why does everything seem like a test. Every emotion that you feel seems as if its just god testing you to see how you will react to a situation. Sometimes i invision god as this guy in a lab coat, using us as his variables in some mad experiment. The word i find myself wondering is, why? Why all this? Why so much lonliness. Ive had nights where ive thought i would never see the light of the sun again, and i didnt care if i died. This is so depressing. Why do i feel so much all the time? I talk to certain people everyday that act like if someone cut their arm off they wouldnt feel it. And then others only care about themselves completely. People just make me so confused. Maybe im just really tired. These past 3 years have been my worst. Lets hope this one will be better. hope...theres always hope.

(red wine) hell yea [30 Dec 2003|07:36pm] [ music | the faint ] gretchen spins tunes as DJ Fancy Lunatic Get your dj name @ Quiz Me AWWWWWESOME! find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com Green You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature. Find out your color at Quiz Me! boooo-ya

(red wine) [30 Dec 2003|06:54pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | the cure-(close to me) ] //10 cd's you've been listening a lot to lately 1. pavement 2. radiohead-hail to the theif 3. modest mouse 4. ugly casanova 5. the postal service 6. the beatles-the white ablum 7. my techno mix 8. the wedding singer soundtrack 9. the faint 10. cursive-8 teeth to eat you //09 things you look forward to 1. Getting my fucking license 2. the new year 3. painting with my new paints 4. school-oddly enough 5. getting my license 6. meeting new people...even though that hasnt been happening lately... 7. car-ness 8. graduation 9. freedom //8 things you like to wear 1. my new poka dot belt 2. my new york socks 2. my new green ring 3. my striped sweater 4. yeah that brown skirt from urban outfitters 5. my orange flower shoes 6. new nose rings 7. my "g" necklace thing 8. a smile //07 things that annoy you 1. crying babies 2. people obsessed with themselves 3. simple plan 4. the fact that ive never left the country 5. my brothers girlfriend 6. felling like this 7. feeling like i have no friends //06 things you say most days 1. mmm 2. hey 3. shut up 4. you suck 5. like 6. awwww //05 things you do everyday 1. pick my bugars 2. eat 3. pee 4. eat 5. listen to music //04 people you want to spend more time with 1. andrewww-::gasp::: 2. my brother 3. roy 4. a hobo //03 movies you could watch over and over again 1. willy wonka and the chocolate factory 2. the last unicorn 3. the emperors new groove //03of your favorite songs at the moment 1. ugly casanova- hotcha girls 2. pavement-darling dont you go and cut your hair 3. radiohead-blowout //01 person you could spend the rest of your life with 1. no one because im so cold hearted and evil like that NUMBER OF. - piercings: 3 - tattoos: none - height: 5'8 - shoe size: 9 - hair color: red - siblings: 2 LAST. - movie you rented: confessions of a dangerous mind - song you listened to: bright eyes-center of the world - song that was stuck in your head: cursive- what ever happened to caroline - person you've called: my uncle robert - person that's called you: frank - tv show you've watched: king of the hill - person you were thinking of: my sister - you have a crush on someone: sadly yes, always the wrong guys - you wish you could live somewhere else: more towards montrose - think about suicide: thought about it when i was watching this movie, it was sad - you believe in online dating: fuck yea, i got 10 boyfriends online right now actually - others find you attractive: every once in a while one does - you want more piercings: hmm not sure -rink: hm? - you do drugs: no! you smoke: nope - you like cleaning: if its necessary - you write in cursive or print: who cares? FAVORITE. - food: beef - thing to do: laugh really hard - thing to talk about: the weather - drinks: coke, iced tea, coffee - clothes: black converse - movies: american history x, willy wonka, zoolander, donnie darko, theres more - holiday: i guess christmas HAVE YOU. - ever cried over a girl: yea - ever cried over a boy: always always - ever lied to someone: no shit sherlock - ever been in a fist fight: haha no - ever been arrested: at least 56 times WHAT. - shampoo do you use: kiwi-for color treated hair. - shoes do you wear: converse - are you scared of: looking bad - of times I have been in love: well im not sure but i guess maybe 2, but then again i dont think i ever have. - of times I have had my heart broken: one too many man - of hearts I have broken: well i know i have once, but other than that who knows - of girls I have kissed: 2 - of boys I have kissed: 2 - of girls I've slept with: none. - of boys I've slept with: none... yet. - of drugs taken illegally: oh god lets see, coke, x, shrooms, dxm, hmm underage drinking - of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends: i dont know, i find it hard to trust people - of people I consider my enemies: too many - of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: none - of scars on my body: that damn ice skate wound made a scar - of things in my past that I regret: a lot FAVORITE. - disney movie: the little mermaid - word: word - nickname: dirty gerdy, haha - eye color: green - flower: rose i guess - piercing: lips, nose - actress: drew barrymore, parker posie DO YOU THINK YOU ARE. - pretty: sometimes - funny: my mom said i used to be but im too "serious" now - hot: haha thats gay - friendly: i think so - amusing: to some people - ugly: mmm, theres a lot worse looking people on the planet thats for sure - loveable: not really - caring: too much - sweet: sometimes -dorky: 24-7 DESCRIBE YOUR. [ x ] Wallet – green [ x ] Hairbrush - purple [ x ] Toothbrush - pink [ x ] Jewelry worn daily – my necklace, 2 rings [ x ] Pillow cover – stars and moons [ x ] Blanket – same [ x ] Coffee cup – black [ x ] Sunglasses - really big [ x ] Underwear – well i wear it...only sometimes though-j/k [ x ] Favorite shirt - bright eyes shirt [ x ] Perfume/cologne- tribute [ x ] CD in stereo right now – modest mouse [ x ] Tattoos – I aint got none buddddy [ x ] Piercings – ears, nose [ x ] What you are wearing now – my striped sweater, grey dickies, poka dot belt [ x ] In my mouth - teeth [ x ] In my head – disappointment [ x ] Wishing – i was somewhere else having fun [ x ] After this – who knows [ x ] Person you wish you could see right now – elijah wood, naked, in my bed [ x ] Is next to you right now – my shoes [ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month- soberiety [ x ] The last thing you ate – milense pasta from the cheesecake factory, yuuum [ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of – dying [ x ] Do you like candles – duh [ x ] Do you like the taste of blood – no it tastes like pennies [ x ] Do you believe in love - sometimes [ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - yes [ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die – well i really dont want it in the ground rotting away with worms and shiz, maybe cremation [ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be – horse [ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up – allllll night baby [ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks – very slowly yes [ x ] What's your favorite coin – a dime

(red wine) may flowers [30 Dec 2003|05:37pm] [ mood | relieved ] [ music | cursive, (what ever happened to caroline) ] yay my computer is fixed! I keep finding myself wanting to talk to lizzy, its like i really dont know why we arent friends anymore, i say its because she was a bad friend but its like uh its not like she was that bad, she probabaly did care about me as much as she claimed, ::sigh::, what to do? im getting sick of my lay-out, im thinking of changing it but to what? oh gosh. I am 36% Tortured Artist I have some artistic ability, but it is probably a hobby and doesn't drive my life into a dark abysmal hole were I am alone and against the world. Take the Tortured Artist Test at fuali.com I am 34% Internet Addict I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck! Take the Internet Addict Test at fuali.com I am 48% Grunge What's this? The longest I've been without a shower is three days? Not even close, man. I should go sit out in the rain for a week. Take the Grunge Test at fuali.com I am 50% Emo Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater. Take the Emo Test at fuali.com haha dang im more emo than anything...imagine that.

(red wine) i a m r e a d y f o r lo v e [29 Dec 2003|05:04pm] [ mood | dorky ] [ music | james bond soundtrack ] my internet connection has been broken for a little over a week, this is why i havent updated or anything, yes i know its been hard without me kids. Christmas was good except the part where i drank too much and had a hangover the next day-horrible. I didnt recieve my video camera yet though which WAS highly disappointing but hey, its all good. I'm probabaly going to get in january sometime. Went to new orleans over the weekend, it was alright. I got drunk on bourbon street, just like everyone else... I find myself really lonely, again. its like my brain keeps telling my heart, "hey, stop that!" Lazy lazzzzzy days. hmm no more.

(red wine) take the money and run [18 Dec 2003|10:26pm] [ mood | drained ] if you could go back and change the past would you even want too?

(red wine) from one thin wall away [17 Dec 2003|12:39pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | oasis, (champagne supernova) ] i wrote this, so ummm do it mmk?! 1. ::A color you like to wear::- pink 2. ::regardless of size or circumstance, name an animal you would like to own as a pet::- a pony, or a hippo 3. ::lucky number::-7 i guess 4. ::a hobby that you enjoy::- writting 5 ::favorite sport to play::- tennis 6. ::a city you would like to visit::-paris 7. ::a book you strongly recommend::-cats cradle by: kurt vonnegut 8. ::Favorite band::- RADIOHEAD 9. ::Movie you could watch over and over again::- Willy WOnka and the Chocolate factory 10.::Favorite actress::-drew barrymore 11.::Favorite actor::- Johnny fucking Depp 12.::Favorite time of day::-sunset 13.::Favorite thing to do on sunday::-go to barnes and noble, or go shopping 14.::Your motto:: get over it? 15.::Favorite piece of clothing::-jackets, belts 16.::If you could afford anything at this moment what would you buy?::- an island 17.::Your weirdest possession::- a sculpture of 2 eggs over easy. 18.::If your house was burning and you could save 3 things you would save?:: CDs, clothes, all my journals 19.::You dont think people should get married before what age?:: 20 20.::People should not have children before this age::-19 21.::A lie you tell yourself::-i cant find a decent guy because there are none 22.::Something you have stolen that wasnt worth the risk::- this really ugly necklace from Claires, i almost got caught for a piece of shit. 23.::What do you think is an appropriate age to have sex?::-17? 24.::Name one person you have wished dead::- J.W 25.::One thing in the world you are addicted too::-l-o-v-e 26.::A drug or alcoholic beverage you would like to take regularly::-i would like to drink if i could 27.::If there were no side effects which drug would you enjoy being addicted too?::- X 28.::A drug you would never try::- herion 29.::A drug you would never DO again::- coke 30.::What religion were you raised with?::- christianity 31.::Do you still practice that religion?::-yes 32.::How do you picture the end of the world?:: Starvation, not enough clothes to cover peoples bodies, disease, chaos, killing constiently, mass amounts of death. 33.::Does life exsist on other planets?::-yes it surely does 34.::Do you believe in astrology?::-most of its pretty true. 35.::If reincarnation does exsist, you would want to come back as?::-a pornstar 36.::Do you think abortion should be legal?:: I'm not sure...sometimes, if its a special case 37.::Whats the worst crime against humanity?::-genocide 38.::Worst crime you've commited::-illegal drugs i guess, or stealing... 39.::One thing you wish for your mother::- happiness, no pain 40.::ONe thing you wish for your father::- realization 41.::Name your three best qualities::- I have common sense, likable i guess, and interesting? i have no idea 42.::The moment you are most ashamed of::- tokin' it up in my room and having my dad walk in, or it could even be the big lie i used to live 43.::Three people you consider ingenius::-thom yorke, mozart, shakesphere 44.::Do you like being photographed?:: not really, because i always look like shit 45.::Something you would like to change about your life::-maybe the fact that im so limited in what i can do 46.::Have you ever wished you were born the opposite sex?:: When i was little yea because i thought having babies was really scary, but now, hell no being a girl kicks ass 47.::You wouldnt want to live past what age?:: 88 48.::The emotion you tend to hide the most::-jealousy 49.::The emotion you have been feeling alot lately::-depression 50.::Last time you cried uncontrollably?:: The only time i can think of was at john rugusa's funeral. 51.::The most important physical trait?::-eyes or smile

(red wine) living in your letters [15 Dec 2003|06:11pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | le tigre-dude your so crazy ] things are just floating along. Not much happens, just lots to do in a short amount of time, i used to wish the days werent so long but now i wish they were a bit longer. The ice skating rink was weird for lots of different reasons. I kept staring at the ice beneath my feet and wondering how i used to be so good at this. It was also kinda like...uh someone talk to me? I dont know, maybe im not as interesting to talk to as i used to be because last year it seemed like people wanted to talk to me spontanously and now its like i have to be the one to make an effort to communicate with a human being. I want to do something so bad. Over the summer i did so many rebelious things, and it was entertaining...now, nothing at all happens. Nothing. And everyday all my conversations with Caroline only seem to involve seth and his moods and her moods and their weirdness. And you can imagine how much i love this. I'm thinking and hoping that things will be so much better when christmas rolls around but i cant think of a reason why that would change anything. My history final was so hard; i didnt study. I wish i was graduating this year but im not, in fact i have 2 more years. I think im going to get completely fucked over on getting my license and ive been waiting to be 16 all my life. And its great that i cant even get a hold of anyone at the DMV because they dont answer their phones. Isnt my life fucking awesome? Always assuming the worst, but your going on nonetheless, And there's nothing to cushion your heart led fall. Letters from further away keep pulling me closer to home. And there's something to cushion my callous sighs. And i know that you hope for long good good-byes. Embracing for forever and falling in your eyes. Pouring over photographs, Im living in your letters. Breathe deeply from this envelope it smells like you and i cant be, Without that scent its filling me with all you mean to me.

(red wine) its tragic [11 Dec 2003|05:11pm] i hate the way people make me feel guilty about the decisions i make or the way i think. I do what it think is right, im not the way i am because i want to be some evil cold-hearted bitch, i do have reasons, i just dont think i should have to explain myself to people that dont mean shit to me. Lately ive been kinda lost in my thoughts, like maybe i should try and patch things up with certain people and apologize for being the way i am; but then its like i get back to the roots of the problems and remember my beliefs...its so confusing. Right now the thing i need most is support, and i rarely get that, only from one indivdual that i can honestly say, "where would i be without you?" I think you know whom i speak of. I look in the mirror and its like i have to remind myself that we only get one chance. And its like, how am i treating that concept? Christmas makes me think of love and snow and kisses, something that i kinda lack. It just doesnt snow here. But i go on, thats the way it is, and its ok. I just feel like i need to push things forward, like is this going anywhere at all?

(red wine) i want to go swimming [09 Dec 2003|03:41pm] [ mood | sympathetic ] [ music | the faint ] for the record: 1. i dO NOT hate elizabeth kayley olivia mclane, because that would be impossible. 2. i DO miss the way things used to be 3. im still not over it

(red wine) !!! [06 Dec 2003|02:11pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | cars that go boom ] last night was nice until about the last 45 minutes...long story. but let me break it down: me and caroline went to lone star skate, drank lemonaide, skated around, almost fell a few times, got insulted by a 10 year old, :( Its my mom and dads anniversary...16 years, seems like forever to be living with someone. They are going out dancing tonight, sounds like a party. Me and my mom went to rice village today and i bought a shirt and a sweater. It turns out i do get to do the modeling thing for toni and guy after all. It all goes down tomorrow at 11 a.m. They said its going to take 3 hours which includes, dying my hair(i have no idea what color), and fixing it all crazy, and after that i have a party to go to with the fam, it should be fun, i get to get all dressed up and shiz. My cousin left, thank god! And hmm other than that, everythings cool baby. I am 31% Punk Rock Well, I may know what punk is, but... Okay maybe some people think I am punk, but is that enough? Nope. Take the Punk Rock Test at fuali.com I am 26% Geek You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing. Take the Geek Test at fuali.com I am 28% Evil Genius I want to be evil. I do evil things. But given the opportunity, and a darn good reason I may turn to the good side. Besides I am probably a miserable evil genius. Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com I am 27% Raver Well, I may have been to a rave. I probably know a bunch of ravers, but they may think of me as an outsider. That's okay, at least I am not a complete freak. Take the Raver Test at fuali.com I am 30% Goth Goth ny night, normal by day. Deep in my heart I know I am evil, but not on the company's time. I do need to eat. Take the Goth Test at fuali.com I am 22% Ska I am not ska. I am not even close... I don't even know what skanking is? I may need guidance, get offline and see if I can go find myself a show, or a CD, or something. Take the Ska Test at fuali.com what am i then?? i just LOVE labels

(red wine) life in the fast lane [05 Dec 2003|03:11pm] [ mood | flirty ] [ music | none ] these days have been going so fast. i remember things i shouldnt, and forget too much of the important things. But, its ok, because i get by with a little help from my friends. As for people that ARENT my friends, i dont think its very polite to read someones journal and make comments on it and make assumtions that arent true to my friends. damn that was confusing to write. hmm. not much is happening, especially in the l-o-v-e department, but its ok because carolines getting enough for both of us. Its killing me softly. my sister brought me chick-fil-a today at school so that was good. she thinks andrew dixon is cute.

(red wine) no alarms and no suprises [02 Dec 2003|04:30pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | french rap ] You are: No Surprises. You're sick of being restrained and trapped. You want some freedom, possibly a quiet life. Just some damn control! What Radiohead Song Are You? brought to you by Quizilla i have nothing more to say except i discovered harcore french hiphop.

(red wine) with tired eyes and a weary heart... [01 Dec 2003|04:04pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | twisted sister-definatly not by choice. ] today was kinda unexpectatly annoying and never-ending. First day back to school. I had forgotten how much i hate it...ok ok not hate but dislike. Today Chase kept harassing me and kept accusing me of making fun of retarded kids, whatever man, whatever. I love everyone. Haha thats a joke. Then i got to come home to my lovely cousin at MY house that is always here now and he asked me some very deep questions like, "have you ever dated a black or mexican guy?" and i now wish i would have said, "those are the only guys i date" but i just simply replied "no" I dont even see why anyone would fucking ask thier 16 year old cousin that randomly. haha and for those who noticed i put 16 instead of 15, i am sooo close to 16 i just thought it would be fine if it was offical. Im 16. I love the sound of that. But i can only truthfully say that in 19 days. i got drunk yesterday, it was awesome, i miss that feeling; it used to be almost every day i was gettin drunk, in the summer at least. someone recommended drinking vodka and chasing it with beer. Sounds too hardcore for a lightweight like me. drugs are for pussys. the end. You are Orange. You are outgoing and optomistic. You always try to find the bright spot in everything. You are energetic and people are naturally attracted to you. However, you are not always sure of what your purpose or goals are. Most Compatible With: Fresh Mint Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You? brought to you by Quizilla

(red wine) i love johnny depp. ::sigh:: [28 Nov 2003|09:23pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | none ] 20 FAVORITE THINGS TO DO 1. have deep conversations 2. ddddannce 3. spend money 4. be really hyper 5. be with friends 6. Being with my mom when shes in a good mood 7. listen to music 8. go to shows 9. kiss 10. EAT 11. be dorky with my sister 12. jump around 13. talk online to someone thats interesting to talk too (never happens) 14. write in my diary 15. take nice hot showers in the winter 16. take pictures 17. sleep PEACEFULLY when raining 18. flirt 19. shop 20. frolic in fields of flowers, you know, the usual. 19 THINGS YOU DID THIS WEEK 1. went the the galleria, twice 2. ate beef 3. talked on the phone 4. slept 5. showered 6. ice skated 7. fell on my ass 8. played pool 9. played grand theft auto 3 10. didnt have school 11. slept till 1 12. thought about stuff 13. danced in my room, alone. 14. went to my favorite restaraunt 15. talked to andrew wagner for a lonnnng time 16. played football (weird i know) 17. my feet got cold 18. peed 19. cryed 18 PEOPLE YOU KNOW 1. caroline 2. christie 3. andrew 4. lizet 5. monty 6. shanda 7. my mom 8. brad 9. kayla ann-hahahaha 10. josh 11. amy 12. Brian 13. jr 14. taylor 15. that producer from philly 16. frank 17. seth 18. Mark parsans 10 BANDS/SINGERS/GROUPS YOU LIKE 1. radiohead 2. the faint 3. coldplay 4. postal service 5. depechemode 6. the cure 7. aphex twin 8. Yellow card 9. DJ lazy man 10. No Doubt 13 FAVORITE MOVIES 1. the last unicorn 2. 10 things I hate about u 3. willy wonka and the chocolate factory 4. blow 5. zoolander 6. the 5th element 7. encino man 8. The Ring 9. igby goes down 10. 28 days later 11. Almost Famous 12. sailor moon haha 13. cabin fever 15 THINGS YOU HATE 1. stupid people 2. homework 3. math 4. heights 5. excessive drug use 6. pain 7. being lied to 8. assholes 9. shitty friends 10. being cold 11. fighting 12. people obsessed with sex 13. insects 14. headaches 15. being sad 14 THINGS THAT YOU LOVE 1. love 2. family 3. little things 4. sleep 5. music 6. good friends 7. sleeping while it rains 8. fat babies 9. having hairy legs 10. movies 11. boys 12. foooood 13. singing 14. christmas time 13 FAVORITE FOODS 1. chicken stripes 2. baked potatoes 3. ice cream 4. cheeseburgers 5. fettachini alfredo 6. cupcakes-homemade 7. bagels with cream cheese 8. sloppy joes 9. mac and cheese 10. salad 11. tomato soup 12. strawberries from la madelines 13. sushi 11 FAVORITE BEVERAGES 1. iced tea 2. water 3. cranberry juice 4. Coke 5. frappachinos 6. coffee 7. vodka 8. milkshakes 9. fruit punch 10. margaritas 11. sprite 9 TV SHOWS 1. the simpsons 2. real world 3. i love the 80s 4. king of the hill 5. family guy 6. viva la bam??!!!??! 7. boy meets world 8. Jackass 9. i love the 70s 10 THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE 1. go to france 2. get married 3. have kids 4. do something to change the world 5. have a ferrari 6. get a manicure 7. be in love 8. live somewhere exotic for a while---Yes! 9. go clubin haha 10. be a great mom, wife, friend... 9 FAVORITE SONGS; RIGHT NOW 1. radiohead-idioteque 2. unknown-take me out 3. outkast-hey ya 4. sean paul and beyonce-baby boy 5. the faint-dust 6. bright eyes-touch & if winter ends 7. cursive-am i not yours? 8. modest mouse-3rd planet 8 THINGS YOU CAN'T DO, THAT YOU WISH YOU COULD 1. go clubin 2. be happy 3. get out of here 4. live in new york 5. be in love 6. cuddle 7. be rich 8. get my license.. 7 GUILTY PLEASURES 1. sleepin 2. techno music 3. money 4. spending money 5. being a dork 6. Music 7. mtv 6 PEOPLE YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE 1. caroline 2. johnny depp 3. elijah woood 4. orlando blume 5. jude law-droool 6. thom yorke 5 FAVORITE PLACES TO SHOP 1. urban outfitters 2. marshalls-haha 3. music wherehouse 4. anywhere 5. thrift stores 4 FAVORITE PLACES TO EAT 1. black lab 2. olive garden 3. chick-fil-a 4. hido 3 PEOPLE YOU LOVE 1. my mom 2. my brother 3. my one friend-:) 2 THINGS YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING 1. love 2. to be appreciated 1 THING YOU BELIEVE IN 1. food you should be dancing, yea. You are Ed Wood. You're passionate and driven when it comes to your art. Your love of film drives you to put everything into your work, with a dedication that is more than admirable. The tragedy of all this is you have no talent and all your movies suck. Despite all this you remain somewhat optimistic for most of your life. You hang around a lot of delightfully weird people, and have a penchant for angora sweaters and wigs. You put the "underground" in "underground cinema," because that's where your films should be buried. Which Johnny Depp are You? brought to you by Quizilla

(red wine) how strange, innocense [25 Nov 2003|10:17pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | explosions in the sky ] its so hopelessly hopeless. Not really desperate, just...longing.

(red wine) do i try too hard to make you smile? [22 Nov 2003|07:43pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | depechemode, (people are people) ] i just got really sad. I just feel like maybe im missing out on teenage things. I already look at MOST everyone my own age as idiots that are really immature. But im thinking i might have a curse by understanding people; it just really sucks. I miss my friends, but i guess they arent really my friends anymore. Taylor asked me why i dont "hang out" anymore and its like, well i dont do drugs anymore, and thats all you ever do. I kinda feel like a big loser, caroline really is my only friend that i actually want to hang out with. Ill just stop whining now. The whole modeling thing for Toni and Guy isnt going to work out im afarid. Cyndi hasnt called and she said she would by tomorrow. So, so long free dye job... ::sigh:: im not pretty enough to be a model anyways, i dont know why i thought that would work. I bought a nose ring, like an actual ring. It really hurt when i put it in, like it stretched out the hole and i dont even think it looks that good. Its kinda too big, and im worried my moms going to flip when she sees it. I wish i could be as talented as caroline. She seems so well-rounded and multi-talented. I'm probabaly good at 3 things when she can do 10. Good for her, bad for moi. But i love her. (truely) :) haha not!

(red wine) WOOOOOO [19 Nov 2003|08:18pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | im burning im burning im burning for you ] ok i just got like inspiration or something. NO MORE LIKE SHITTY ASS MOODS THAT ARE ALL LIKE OMG IM SOO LONELY AND PATHETIC. life is for living, we all know. so lets go out dancing?!!! I swear im sick of being a loser thats stuck at home all the time that gets entertainment from going to the mailbox to get the mail. and no he hasnt written. BUT THATS NOT THE POINT! we are going out, on friday and im going to get drunk and screw. minus the drinking/screwing part. IM GOING OUT and your coming with me. Who needs money? A.J is in town which means=80's night+40's just like the old days, minus a.j...ok im afarid this isnt making sense anymore but fuck you bitch.

(red wine) nothing important [19 Nov 2003|03:03pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | the cure-(pictures of you) ] i cant wait till thanksgiving break. im sick of tests and projects and idiots. i want to be in photography now, damn you caroline. frank flirts with belinda a lot, maybe he does only want some ass. sad. One step at a time, okay? What is Your Shakespearian Tragic Flaw? brought to you by Quizilla can you say cheesy? You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal blue water, near the sea is where you belong. Where Did Your Soul Originate? brought to you by Quizilla

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