| football game |
[03 Oct 2003|11:04pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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brand new |
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after school i went to jv waterpolo game and watched the guys win. i sat with krystyna and christian came :) i went home and then off to my brothers birthday dinner. happy birthday stephen! then after i picked up ariana and went to the football game and met jess ash grant ty stevie and christian. it was fun . although tonight...i just feel like.. i should really change the person i am. i have always been a really flirty person....but i need to control myself..because it hurts so much seeing someone i love with all my heart hurt, or jealous or sad. and nothing is worth that. im sorry :( it hurts me, not knowing what i do, untill the consequences show up in ones feelings...and I never want to see him hurt i never want to hurt him..thats the fartherst thing i ever want to do in my whole life is to hurt him... and i know i am a flirtatious person, but i want to change that about myself. i want to. i still want to be nice, but i dont need to flirt. I have someone to flirt with all i want, and love all i want. and its just all that is so much more greater feeling than flirting with one person at your school. i feel bad and i will, untill i change that part of me. he makes me feel, like i want to better myself like i need to better myself. and thank you for that christian. and ariana thank you :) thank you for being a good friend. an awesome friend i can always count on
i love you.
If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you want.
I already know what I am.
And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.
I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.
A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.
Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.
monica marie
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