priam's trojan prophetess

8:12pm: Can't breathe.

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE THE ONLY WAY WE COMMUNICATE IS THROUGH FUCKING LETTERS AND I'M ILLITERATE.

It doesn't help that I'm called a liar.

12:38am: I am pleased to say that I, Stella, now have a livejournal account. --> pierceyoursptum

See, I am really excited about this. Mike gave me an early Hannukah gift. I have been asking everyone for a cide, and he had one. Oh happy day.

Goodbye, blurty.

12:42pm: ...the souls of the ghosts of those dead Indians...maybe one or two of 'em...were just running around freaking out, and just leaped into my soul. And they're still in there. Indians scattered on dawn's highway, bleeding ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind.

That goes for the both of us, Mr. Morrison.

9:50am: THE NAVEL ACADEMY'S ANNUAL BELLYDANCE SHOW (with Daughters of Peace)

Wednesday, June 11 7:30 pm $14 at the door
Stockmeyer Auditorium next to Wayne Memorial

It's gonna be good, so go!

http://www.navelacademy.net/

8:44pm: I'd say that a good 95% of the time, I am okay with death. I want to die, when the time is right? It will bring knowledge. Love. All KINDS of good stuff. That's 95% of the time.

BUT then what about the other 5%? I'd say that 2% of the time I don't want to physically die at all. I am happy with how things are and I don't want them to change. Ignorance is bliss. I love Jesus. I give money to the poor, so I'm going to heaven. Hakuna matata.

Then I face the truth. Three percent of the time, I am seeing everything clearly. But not really....I THINK I am seeing everything clearly. I have everything figured out. I am a waste of breath. Of space. Of time.

Three percent of the time. I'm there now. It doesn't happen very often. Not often at all. Not often enough?

But when it does....

I die. Yes, I die quite frequently in other ways, I know. But this death is GOD FUCKING HORRIBLE. The worst. I am ignorant. I hate it. I know nothing.

A sickening feeling....over my whole body. An inverse orgasm.

I would truly rather people not read this. I'd create another secret account, but I am lazy.

I talk. A LOT. No one believed me when I said I'd have my septum pierced. I crossed the bridge. Gritted my teeth. Experienced beautiful pain. Picked my nose and felt cold metal.

I highly dislike the term "depression". I highly dislike any spoken term, really. Without meaning. I recently have realized that it isn't words that piss me off so about language, but rather the lack of feeling behind them. I guess I just want people to communicate soley through feelings. Some are capable of expressing true feeling through words. I am not. I am envious? Because there is a such thing as successful verbal and written communication and I am not a part of it? Fuck. I really am lazy.

I love love. I hate hate.

You know what I'm talking about. I know you do. You make me happy.

12:48am: Chuck Palahniuk
For all those people in Room 234, wurking on their twelve steps in a sexaholics meeting is a valuable important tool for understanding and recovering from...well, you get the idea.

For me, it's a terrific how-to seminar. Tips. Tecniques. Strategies for getting laid you never dreamed of. Personal contacts. When they tell their stories, these addict people are frigging brilliant. Plus there's the jail girls out for their three hours of sex addict talk therapy.

Nico included.

Wednesday nights mean Nico. Friday nights mean Tanya. Sundays mean Leeza. Leeza sweats yellow with nicotine. You can almost put your hands around her waist since her abs are rock-hard from coughing. Tanya always smuggles in some rubber sex toy, usually a dildo, or a string of latex beads. Some sexual equivalent of the prize in a box of cereal.

The old rule about how a thing of beauty is a joy forever, in my experience, even the most beauteous thing is only a joy for about three hours, tops. After that, she'll want to tell you all about her childhood traumas. Part of meeting these jail girls is it's so sweet to look at your watch and know she'll be behind bars in half an hour.

It's a Cinderella story, only at midnight she turns back into a fugitive.

12:29am: The Lizard King
The killer awoke before dawn
He put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived
And then he paid a visit to his brother
And then he walked on down the hall
And he came to a door
And he looked inside
Father?
Yes son?
I want to kill you
Mother, I want to fuck you...

12:25am: David Reynolds
I met a man tonight. His story was like every other one I've heard before. Homeless, jobless, trying to get enough money to get on his feet again. He was sweeping the parking lot of the gas station for extra money. But this was different. His eyes, his tone of voice, both spoke with an eloquence, beauty, and sincerity that trying to describe with words would only diminish their value. I pulled a crumpled ten dollar bill out of my pocket and began to hand it to him. He smacked my hand away with a look of disgust.

"Ya'll the same. You just don't understand."

He turned around and went back to sweeping.

At a red light a few miles down the road, I realized my folly. He only wanted somebody to listen, and validate the fact the he existed, and that he had value as a person. By trying to give him money, I only managed to insult his pride.

Even worse, I negated his humanity.

I know I'll never see him again, and I doubt he'll remember the incident. Yet I will always remember it as one of the worst thing I've ever done.

12:09am: Conor Oberst
Today i saw two dozen white roses
on a fresh new mound of dirt
and i wondered about the occupant -
when the darkness finally swallowed him, was he calm and content?
or was he sweating in a struggle to keep breathing,
ripping apart the sheets that dressed his bed
crying out loud for someone to help him
and collapsing on his back all pale and dead?
Maybe it's me who's this unstable,
always obsessed about the end.
Why can't i let what happens happen
and just enjoy the time i spend?

12:04am: Edgar Allan Poe
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird of devil!
Whether Tempter sent, or whatever tempest tossed thee ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted --
On this home by Horror haunted -- tell me truly, I implore --
Is there -- is there balm in Gilead? -- tell me -- tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

11:25am: Mmmm

You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
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12:30pm: I gave birth to a daughter early this morning. I named her Lafayette.

8:41pm: ...and this guy walks through cemetaries with me...

12:18pm: Oooooh man....

conor oberst (bright eyes): you and conor are
moodily intense. go to a corner and cry
together, pansies!


who's your indie rock boyfriend?
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I repeat, Ooooh man

10:59am: Prom was last night. I pierced my scrumper, Dan's hair was sent from God, mashed potatoes were good, dancing was fun, strawberry shake afterwards from Mickey's. That was my night.

9:35pm: A bitching rant...
How perfect is this? No scrumper piercing on account of my effing car breaking down. It's complicated...but what it comes down to is that I can't drive any of the four cars that used to be available to me. SO

Parker says I should do it myself. I think I might, although I love the a. rush of driving to the parlor, getting ready, deep breath....blah blah blah.

It's something I've never done before, so I might as well try it.

One thing that really scares me about these piercers is that most I talked to had never even heard of a scrumper/smiley. After I had to explain it, they hadn't even seen one before. Absolutely ridiculous. It'd be so much more reassuring in general if people would learn their trade WELL.



UberdykE IL1337 (9:47:27 PM): you didn't get shit, sweetie

Just for the record, I cannot stand being called "sweetie," "hun," "honey," or "sweetheart" in that tone that hints inferiority on my part. Fuck off.

And I really don't like "baby," either, although that's used in different situations.

11:37pm: I'm crying. For no reason at all.















The best reason to do so.

12:10am: My mind is so saturated....

I need to realize that I can't learn eveything I want to at once.

But I love this feeling. It's kinda like a buzz....do you know what I mean?

Almost the same feeling I get when I give blood. (needle part, of course), but not when I'm being pierced. Almost the same feeling I get as (in fact, very close to) I walk through a cemetary, but not when I'm reminiscing about you. And you.

11:02pm: So there's this guy...

9:06pm: ::carves eyes out of her head::

"Guess who decided to grace me with his presence DURING MY BREAK today?" she says, blood painting her cheeks.

3:24pm: OK, here's the deal:

I'm spending all day tomorrow at the ACS Relay for Life in Canton (The Summit) henna-ing for the Meijer booth that my mom runs. I'll be the only one there that looks like I walked out of Ren Fest, so come visit me and get a tattoo! They're five bucks and I'll make it extra special. Promise.

12:22am: I'm waiting, waiting, waiting, always waiting for it, certain that it isn't passing me by. How could it? I analyze everything. Almost everything, anyway. Everyone says if you look too closely, it'll fly right on by you, but that's not possible with me. It hasn't come yet, and it shows no sign of ever appearing. Therefore I do not care. Just for now, I do not care. This is how it always should be, but I become bored of not giving a shit and return to my dismal behavior I'm accustomed to.

But for now, I don't care. And it is so good.

11:57pm: Hmmm....


Fell In Love With A Girl, "White Blood
Cells"


Which song by THE WHITE STRIPES are you?
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11:31pm: Is this not sad?:
Wow! You're an expert.


How much do You know about Hamsters?
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11:17pm: So, what turns you on, just_john from facethejury.com?

"Girls that have std's!! that just means they have experience!!!"