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[02 Mar 2004|07:30pm] |
still sick. took off work. think i will do the same tomorrow. i need to do lots and lots of reading for thursday, and i really still feel like shit. guess i won't have much of a paycheck, but that's ok...dad gave me $500. yay for dads with big tax refunds.
looks like my brother will be back sometime today, if he's not already. no surgery needed. dad is calling me at some point to let me know that they are home safe and sound.
i think i need to go back to the gym...haha. don't i say that all the time. but really...it's been over a week. i've been sick. i went last monday, but i think it will be friday at the soonest that i will be able to get back there. i just don't think that exercise is what will help me at this point in time. plus i hate it when sick people go out and get others sick cause they just can't sit at home and wait it out.
i also think that i need a tan. i want to be tan this summer...tan and tone...or at least tan and a tad smaller. tans always make you appear more tone anyway. i want to wear long skirts and sandals and appear earthly and carefree. i want my hair to be blonded (it will be in june when i cut out the last of the black and get it highlighted). i want to be tan and blonde and natural looking. haha....that is so opposite of what i am. i am pale with dark brown hair...so tan and blonde would be far from natural...but i just love that cali/earthly girl glow. i will have it this summer.
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| sick, but other than that....OK |
[01 Mar 2004|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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never any music in my house |
] |
i'm sick. whatever joe had has made it's way into my body. i have a lesser version of his sickness, but it sucks none the less. it feels like a really bad allergy attack, but it was from him, so it's a cold. i guess my time of saying that i never get sick has caught up with me. oh well. i'm not terrible...but i feel like shit either way. too bad i can't seem to sleep. my eyes are so watery, and nose is so itchy that i just can't get comfy. tonight i will take loads of cold meds so that i can pass the fuck out. i called out of work tomorrow already, so i don't have to worry about morning grogginess.
other than feeling like shit i'm doing well. school is going very good. i didn't feel like i was learning, but apparently i am at least somewhat since i have 2 A's on my tests already, and i took another test today that i feel like i knew all but one question. we'll see. photo class is getting to be more fun. i went down to my dad's on sat (to see my brother in the hospital) but i also took some photos while i was in the area. we have to do a scavenger hunt of sorts, and some of the things on the list have to do with childhood memories and other stuff that i could do there. hope they come out good. i have some more photos to shoot, but i will have this roll at least to develop on friday.
i don’t' know how my brother is doing. i need to call my dad and see when he's coming home. i'll do that when i'm done here. i hope he doesn't have to have surgery and can just heal naturally. he's so depressed by this. i should order him something to be sent to the house. are flowers too dorky for a brother? he's not that sappy up front, but i really think he would like anything, just because it shows that i really do care about him. i love him to death, he just pisses me off so much. i'll find something to send to him.
ok...time to go and do nothing for a while. joe should be home soon. he's cooking tonight. yum...food is so much better when you don't have to make it. too bad i can't really taste today since i can't really smell.
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| broken brother |
[28 Feb 2004|09:43pm] |
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my brother fell off a deck last night while "trying to break up a fight". not sure if he was part of the fight, or if he was actually trying to break it up, but anyway...there were many people on a small deck. they were up against the railing, and they all fell about 20 feet. some landed on the dirt, some half on dirt half on concrete, my brother....the only one to land only on concrete. needless to say he was the worst hurt. he broke his back. 3 vertebrae. he can move, but he's not allowed to get up until they fit him with a brace and then decide if that is good enough or if they will have to operate. so i went down to see him today. i feel so bad for him. i wish i could say that i think that maybe he will rethink his drinking all the time because of all the shit that happens to him and his friends, but i see him in the bar as soon as they let him walk. poor kid, hope he grows up soon.
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[19 Feb 2004|08:55pm] |
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the week is almost over. god i can't wait. i have had no time at all to nap all week. i should have had time today, since my last class was canceled, and i have no homework that i have to do for tomorrow....but no....right as i'm falling asleep, the doorbell rings and it's the UPS man. i was glad they came today since i needed the delivery for my class tomorrow...but he woke me up dammit. oh well. so busy this week...or at least it feels like i was really busy. i've been fried feeling the whole time. just trying to stay awake long enough to go out on monday, to read and cook the rest of the week.
i finally went to the gym yesterday....and i will go again tomorrow. i can never tell if i gained or lost weight. i know i have lost since the last time i was weighed...well the last time before my doctor's appointment, but i think i have gained some back of what i had lost in the first place. i had pants that were tight...then lose...now kind of tight again, but not as tight as in the first place. i just want to lose like 10 or 15 pounds for the summer. i really don't see it happening since this weight seems to be where i stay unless i work my ass off and barely eat. wow i wish i didn't like sweets. i think that maybe once i get back into the swing of things this semester i will try and do those aerobics classes that i was talking about. there are 2 that i want to do....but i rarely want to go to the gym. i just so tired. we'll see...i would like to be able to get into a bathing suit this summer without wanting to kill myself.
i should go and start cooking. joe worked 12 hours today and i know he's going to be starved when he gets home. i'm tired...so i know he's dead. poor guy.
oh....one more day and then i night out at some club with the girls. not my girls....but a girls' night out none the less. can't wait. this will be the first time in i can't remember how long that i will be going out dancing with just some girls.
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| 10 minutes left at work....why not waste the time and update? |
[08 Jan 2004|04:16pm] |
i decided to drop one of my classes. it was a counseling class, and really i don't need it. i need to have the time to work, and i really don't think i can work and take 16 credits. oh well. i have to do summer classes anyway, so no big deal. i will be in school forever it seems anyway, so what's the rush? i sure as hell don't want a full time job anytime soon. i would much rather just go to school forever. wouldn't that be great. to be a professional student. maybe joe will get rich, we can get married, and i can go to school for the rest of my life. haha. i would love to do work that i actually enjoy, but if i can't do that, i think school would be much more satisfying. specially if it doesn't matter how you do since there is no end to it. ok...nice dream right?
i'm tired, but i have off tomorrow, so that's great. need to go to the gym in a little bit. i will go on the way home from work. should make me feel a little more alive. i think i'm just burnt cause i spent the whole day on this dumb mail merge. we have an online alumni community that we're starting, and i had to send out letters to get people interested in joining and making a website for their group. we actually make the site, but then they maintain it. they still have to go through us, and we have the final word in what goes in, but it should be interesting to do once we start uploading the pages. maybe i will actually learn how to do it all.
well i think i shall pack up and take my half mile hike in the freezing cold back to my car.
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| george carlin strikes again |
[06 Jan 2004|11:34pm] |
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in the swimming pool?
3. OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of The Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the -- Liquor store or at Hooters.
6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar not called a racist?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me....they're cramming for their final exam.
17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
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| video games all around |
[26 Dec 2003|04:16pm] |
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mood |
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ok i am officially a big dork now. i got joe the PS2 and one game. it's day 2 with the system and he is off to get more games. i even put in money for my own game silent hill 3. i will be a good player because this game looks fucking awesome! it's all about killing things. right up my alley. very scary.
joe is getting Madden (whatever version the new one is) and already has Need For Speed, Underground. it's fun. i have to admit it. i'm very bad at it, but getting better. i'm used to the first Nintendo, only a few buttons, now there are way too many buttons, but i will get used to it.
he's getting memory cards to so we can actually save our places. maybe it will cure my boredom during my vacation.
oh yeah...got my grades back. straight A's again. don't remember if i wrote that already. so happy about that. takes some stress away now that i have started my career at this new school on the right foot.
that is all. time for more tv and lounging around.
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| do you see a trend? |
[19 Dec 2003|01:50pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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some pop crap on the office radio |
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at work alone again. everyone is off to some christmas lunch thing for the division. poor me, i don't count as part of it. pity party for amber. it's ok. i got lots done. stuffed all my envelopes, and did all my confirmations of the graduates for the newsletter. fun stuff i tell you. i still need to write up the articles, but i'll do that when they come back so i can keep busy when i have people here to see how busy i really am. haha. \
they gave me presents. yay. i got candles from one (my first official christmas decorations hehe). one gave me godiva chocolates. yum. and the last (the one that i work with the most) gave me an amber necklace. she's so sweet. we have so much in common. both bitter neat freaks.
i have already eaten too much junk food for the season. i feel somewhat ill. all my pants seem to be shrinking. i buy the jcrew and express pants that are somewhat streachy, and they shrink the more you wash them. at first i was glad they shrunk a bit, since they were a tad too big. now they are getting tight, and i know i haven't gained any weight or the pants that don't shrink would be tighter. still...it makes me feel like a fat ass, and all the junk food isn't helping the feeling. i wish i have some self control when it came to yummy candies. oh well. i suppose i will just go to the gym more.
i did go to the gym the last 2 days. so sore. well my arms at least. i will go again after work and maybe on saturday if i feel like getting up since the gym closes at 1 on sat. and sun. crappy gym. too bad the school gym is closed for the next few weeks. i guess i was spoiled by my old school gym. they were open all the time since they sold memberships to the community, and had to stay open since they charged.
it's too hot in here. i feel sleepy when i get too hot. that and i get a tad sick to my stomach when i'm overheated. i actually threw up in 7th grade because i hadn't eaten enough and it was too hot. now whenever i'm hungry and hot i get sick feeling. i wonder if it's some mental thing. i was the same way when i was in kindergarden. threw up everyday on the bus in the winter. i guess the heat, the fumes, and the motion sickness i suffered from as a child came into play there, but stomach problems seem to plauge me none the less.
i have started yet another book. it's good so far. it's about this killer who tortures his vitims with their phobias. pretty fucked up, which is what i look for in a book. haha. i'm sick. joe hates that i love murder so much. i think it scares him. he thinks i'm going to kill him one day. i won't. i promise.
i think i will once again waste my time at work with my book. i have at least another half hour before the crew comes back for work.
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| don't bother if you don't want |
[18 Dec 2003|12:10pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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copy and paste into your journal
bold the things you have in common with me
put things about yourself in the placed that you didn't bold.
( and now here it is )
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[17 Dec 2003|12:40am] |
go look at this page
it's hilarious. just don't read it if you are offended easily. people really need to lighten up a bit and learn how to take a joke.
ps...the hate mail is the best part.
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| stolen from friend on lj |
[06 Dec 2003|07:25pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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Name: amber
Age: 24
Occupation: full time student at MSU/part time student worker at MSU alumni house
Where I live: lodi, nj with my bf, joe
Education: A.A. from brookdale c.c. for social science, currently working on my B.S. in psych, so i can go on for my M.S.W for drug counseling
Family: mom in Alabama, dad and brother an hour south. two half sisters (from my dad's first marriage) that i haven't really hung out with in 10 years. lots of aunts and uncles that i never see, so i barely know.
Relationship: living with my bf, joe, after being together for a little over a year.
Friends: one from school, janice. a few back down by my dad's that i never see and rarely talk to.
Pets: nada
Illnesses/Diseases: bouts of depression and anxiety
Things I like to do: read lots, go to the gym, sleep
Things I want to do: i want to finish school and get a job so i can buy a house someday. i want to get married in the next few years to my wonderful joe.
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| just me showing off my huge eyes and monster eyelashes.... |
[06 Dec 2003|12:10am] |
it's so sad how much of an attention whore i have become
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| this is me |
[24 Nov 2003|01:32pm] |
friends only from now on
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[18 Nov 2003|08:00pm] |
tiny bit drunk. yes on a tuesday night. oh well. had fun. went out with janice and actually talked to a girl that i enjoy hanging out with. it's weird that you can find something that you have missed for so long without even trying.
i can't really think now. too tired and buzzed to write anything coherent. i'm just happy i had a girls night out of sorts. even if it was only till 730.
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[16 Nov 2003|11:04am] |
is there something special going on today that they feel the need to drive around the development in a fire truck? i do not see santa on top of said truck. wake me up god dammit.
"the brave my not life forever, but the cautious do not live at all"
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[16 Nov 2003|11:03am] |
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happy birthday em.
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i like to copy from  soapbar these days |
[14 Nov 2003|06:26pm] |
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Friday Five:
1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space.
bland
2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer.
excited and caring
3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pastime.
stimulating, interesting, intellectual
4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day.
tiring, cold, draining, boring
5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life.
exciting, loving, warm, intriguing, growth inducing (is that even a saying?)
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| how can he be so nasty to someone that is trying to help |
[13 Nov 2003|08:54pm] |
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mood |
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how is that my dad can make me so mad when he's an hour away. he calls and asks where the calculator is on the computer. i try and find it for him on the phone. i don't know what happened to it, but it's not there anymore. it must have been deleted at some point when i had the system reconfigured. there are some other things that were fucked up as well, so who knows what else is missing.
anyway. i try and help him. i even tell him how to just use the google.com search bar as a calculator. he wasn't happy with it. it was all i could do over the phone short of him reading off the numbers from his check book, and doing the math for him. i asked why he couldn't do it long hand, i mean come one, it's only subtraction and addition. grrrr. so i ask if he wants my password for the quicken that is on that computer so he can set up his check book on there, but no, he doesn't want it now. he's aggravated, and so am i at this point. then i ask why he doesn't just go to the banks website and look there to see which checks have cleared. no no no...he doesn’t' want to try. he's tired and has to cook and what not. well so do it. i'm tired. i have to cook, and he calls me to be bitchy to me when i can't fix the computer from the other end of the state.
now my hot tea is cold, i'm annoyed, and i want him to stop calling me for this type of shit. he has a girlfriend that does programming, call her. i'm not a techy dork even if he thinks i am. i'm just a normal person who knows how to use a computer better than him (which most people do). he then complains that no one ever showed him how to do all this stuff. i'm sorry. i hate teaching people computer stuff, cause well, i hate teaching when people are clueless. grrr....take a damn class.
i just can't believe how pissed off he can make me when i don't even live there. why can't he just remember how to do this stuff and not be so bitchy with me when all i'm trying to do is help.
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| too windy, so loud, god i want to go back to bed |
[13 Nov 2003|01:15pm] |
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it's so cold in my apartment. i think they turned the heat off, or it died when the power went out. grrr. so windy last night. the noise kept me up most the night. i feel ok now, but i will be dead tonight, and i wanted to do laundry. i really wish i could sleep well for one week straight just to see how it feels to feel good all week.
i went to the gym this morning, i was hoping their power would be out so i would have an excuse not to go, but no such luck. it's for the best though. i need to go more often and stop looking for ways to trick myself into thinking that it's a good idea not to go.
wow my hands are freezing, but my lap is warm from the laptop placed on top of it.
i also hoped my school would be powerless, but again, no luck. i guess i was the only one around here to go without power. it's back now, but that doesn't help me, since i still have to go to class and take quiz and then go to my boring religion/philosophy club. this week we are discussing the Matrix. haha. they better not ruin the newest one for me. i've heard it sucks, but i don't care, i want to see it anyway. if nothing else there are good fighting scenes. and Keanu is so pretty.
well i suppose i should brush my dirty teeth and get my ass to class.
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| stealing from grayeyes |
[13 Nov 2003|01:05pm] |
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1. How did you first find my journal?
2. Why did you originally decide to friend me?
3. What's your favorite part of my journal?
4. What's your least favorite part of my journal?
5. Ask me a question. Be as random as you want.
6. Recommend a band to me. I'm curious what you think I should be listening to.
edit: oh i forgot, you're supposed to copy this into your journal..and so on and so on.
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