Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Alamander's Blurty:

Sunday, May 18th, 2003
4:55 am	what!! $1,943,328.00. um excuse me...this is evidently all I am worth acording to HumanForSale.com Please tell me otherwise!! Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)
Monday, March 10th, 2003
5:30 am	he's so sick! I love Jamis more than words can describe...he is my saving grace. QualityJamis: alexis QualityJamis: i have a question BellezzaDiSonno: hahahaha BellezzaDiSonno: yes... QualityJamis: what would you do if one morning you and I went to Church wearing our sunday bests, me in my three piece purple pastel suit, and you in your matching easter bonnet and dress QualityJamis: and during the collection part of the mass, you know where they pass the basket around and ask for money QualityJamis: I only possessed one ten dollar bill QualityJamis: Would you think it wrong of me to put the ten dollar bill into the basket and to make change out of the bills already in the basket? BellezzaDiSonno: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! QualityJamis: do you feel thats morally wrong? BellezzaDiSonno: not at all QualityJamis: haha QualityJamis: i think its sick BellezzaDiSonno: I feel its the right thing to do BellezzaDiSonno: im dying right now QualityJamis: i would die if i saw that happen BellezzaDiSonno: a purple pastel suit! QualityJamis: yes QualityJamis: three piece BellezzaDiSonno: hahahahahahahaa i think i pissed myself...ill be right back this kid truly kills me! Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
1:15 am	Okay, so I do have something funny to say... Alright...when I was little, before my parents were divorced, my dad would commute to work in Brooklyn everyday... So, my cousin Frankie who is a year younger than me and lives in Marlboro would sometimes get a ride into Staten Island with my dad to visit his grandmother...This one time, right after my father had just gotten his brand new car, my cousin was in the backseat on the Outerbridge, and he calls to my father..."Uncle Marco, Uncle Marco, I don't feel so good." So my dad rushes to hand him a garbage bag, but before he can my cousin vomits all over his brand new backseat. and that's that... About a month later, my Uncle Frankie asks if my dad could drive my cousin Frankie into Staten Island again. So, being the nice guy my dad is, he says ok. Now, my father had gotten the backseat detailed after the vomiting incident and he wants to be sure my cousin doesn't do it again...so when Frankie gets in the backseat, my father covers him with a hefty bag smock so that if there is an accident it will go onto the bag and not onto his seats. So everythings going well...no vomit, nothing! When all of a sudden my cousin says to my dad..."Uncle Marco, I don't feel so well." My father scoffs and says..."Don't worry do what you gotta do...that's what the bag is for." When to my fathers utter disgust, not seconds later, my father gets a whiff of shit from the backseat and my cousin shouts..."Uncle Marco! Uncle Marco! I shit myself!" AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! All over the backseat of my dad's car, dripping down his legs! Needless to say, my father sold his car after that! Ok, so how's that for funny! ME Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Bright Eyes...Lover I don't have to love... (Comment on this)
Monday, March 3rd, 2003
4:30 am	yo yo yo ho! Ok, so it's Sunday night and I'm back at the big RU! Woohoo...this place sucks! I don't know how people love it here...when you go to another school you strangely realize just how terrible your school really is...and I'm convinced. The dorms arent nice, big, new, or even cool...yea in plain english they suck big fat sweaty ass. Ok, so since I'm one of those cool daring types...hahaha...I decided to continue to bring ym car to school even thought I owe 750 dollars in rutgers parking tickets which may i mention i have no intentions of paying...ever!! haha! so, yea...i beat the system and am parked in the sears parking lot which isnt as convenient, but it certainly does the trick...i guess im just a badass. So that's about all on that... So, let me pull you aside and tell you about me weekend...mwahahahahahahaha! So Friday night Jamis and I hit up the Short Hills mall old skool stylee and I pick out J. Crew flip flops in a variety of colors for him! hahaha! Yea real old skool! So then, we decide we are a little famished and are in dire need of a feast on the go. So we hit up the Qdoba...this cool little fast food mexican piece. I got the taco salad minus the cheese and sour cream on account of the diet and Jamis indulged in the greasy goodness of the shell. Finally, we were done...but it was funny because Jamis is what I call a Lord...(which is a gay man-gaylord minus the gay even though he is infact gay)...and the little mexicanos asked him...do you want it soft or hard! and I nearly pissed my slacks! hahahahah slacks! I said slacks! hahahahaha! I think I'm nuts! So then we head back to Drew to go to the big Mardi Gras party! I can't wait...any excuse to dress up and look puuuuuuuurdy! So we go to his dorm and I move in all my stuff...I had so much I think people in the dorm thought I was a late arrival for the spring semester moving into my room...hehe! I whip out Jamis' roomate's guitar and start jamming and making up songs that sound good to me and no one else!!! All the boys in the hall thought I was nuts for sure, but not as nuts as Jamis who was blasting Marilyn Manson's killer hit "The Beautiful People" repeatedly! So we see what the deal is and we get invited to another lord's room for shots...and I hear alcohol and we run on over! So we sit back, chill take a few shots share a few funny stories about the awfullness that is my life and then head over to the mardi gras fiesta at asbury hall...the campus theme house! The only floor I can recall is...La Casa...the Mexican floor! hahaha! Can't wait to tell T about that one...I know he'll appreciate! So we get into the party to find a bunch of ethnics free lovin in the halls and grinding on the pseudo dance floor...I had to die laughing...Jamis and I just couldn't contain ourselves so we hit the floor to perform some fancy footwork...but then Jamis felt it smelled too much like Cait's dorm and we went upstairs to check out the rest of the party. As we climb the stairs and make our way through the rest of the party, I see that there are nothing but god awful creatures everywhere! I have never seen anything quite like it...beastfaces, dump-asses, bACNE, and I think perhaps The New Guy (surely you know the skinny mini from Road trip)...nuff said...hahahaha! I could have died! So Jamis and I spent most of the night roaming room to room in search of more hideousness never to be turned down or disappointed...just when we thought it couldnt get any worse...who, but a 413 lb. black man with 13 inch long legs wearing a black leather bomber jacket and stone washed over-sized dungarees hahahahaha! crosses our path! I couldn't handle it anymore...I had to let looose! I ran and dove for a shoulder which just so happened to be Jamis' and began to laugh hysterically...My laughter was roaring...so after that I obviously felt bad even though he didnt see or hear me. But, I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt about being nice. So I go over and sit next to him on the buckling (due to the weight of his monster sized ass) picnic bench table...and can you believe the motherfudger makes fun of my diesel sneakies!!!! hahahaha!! Oh and to boot, the nerve stares into Jamis' flaming lord eyes and says..."yes, if I were gay I'd wear them!" hahahaha! Jamis and I wanted to kill the LARDO! Spear him with skewer, stuff and apple in his blubber mouth, and roast him over a flame! How dare he insult my shoes!! The nerve! hahaha!! So, I just laughed it off only to hear him continue to make fun of every last other person at the party. So I see a cute boy...follow his drunken ass around for most of the night like a loser only to find at the end of the night that when he brushed past me, he smelled dirty and his name is Solomon...like frigin Sol Rosenberg from the Jerky Boys!! Why me!! Why the dirty smelly pothead of Drew!! So we go back to Jamis' room and it's yay late so I lay down for an episode of "Head of the Class" and fall asleep. Saturday I rise at a nice crisp, 2:00 PM. Get dressed and head to BK...only to find that the toll for the Outerbridge is 6.00, and I have a grand total of 5.95 in quarters, dimes, and nickles! How Ghetto!! So whatever I blasted the toll booth like a champ and get to Brooklyn around 3:30...visit the grandparents, get cash, visit aunt tricia, get cash, and then visit dad, get cash...I had fun! My dad and I have the same sick sense of humor so we always make good times and memories so we hung out for awhile and shot the breeze and to my complete and most gleeful suprise, he awared me with a gift! A brand spanking new shiny silver reaching wand! I was thrilled!!! I couldnt wait to use my new toy over the rest of the weekend...so i went around his house clutching anyhting i could get my hands on with my new reaching wand. I got stuff like pennies, towels, french fries, and tofu from someone else's dish! I was excited like none other! So around 9:30 I head out back to Jamis' school for some more partying...I roll up to the security booth and recite my usual..."Just picking up my life partner!" to the little familiar old man head behind the sliding plexi glass window, so they dont make me park in the far away visitors lot. So Cait's already in the room when I get there getting drunk and Jamis is working on it too. So they get me a drink...Malibu and juice and I guzzle that shit down cause that's my style and before you know it were all stumbling over eachother wasted...silly us! So the night goes on...we hit up a few parties...more terrible ass faces everywhere but no biggy! Were having fun...Cait party poops around 12 and leaves to go lay down in Jamis' room...but Jamis and I just kept on truckin! hahahahahaha! We hit another party...danced around and then went to Claire's suite. I sat there and watched a lord named Joe flip through the pages of Play Girl as I sat nauseated by tanned penises and the hideous creatures that are that awful magazine. So then things get blurry after that...we kinda just went back to Jamis' ordred some food, acted silly, stripped to our bras and did dumb stuff like prank call people! Or at least I assume that's what we did...Then we went to bed. Sorry kids, my weekend was kinda uneventful...but I promise next week will be filled with great tales of sickness and awfullness for you to sit around, read and enjoy!! I'll write again tomorrow...but for now I must hit the hay so to speak! xoxo Alexis the Great Current Mood: giggly Current Music: jets to brazil-wish list (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 28th, 2003
4:20 pm	sickness! this is the letter to Jamis from his new roomate. Dear Jim, I'm sorry to say I will not be here this weekend, but I want you to know that I'll be thinking of you and only you. i cannot wait until monday when once again we shall cross paths and embrace like i know we were born and bred to do. please keep me in your thoughts as you embark on adventure, mystery, and intrigue this forthcoming weekend. Yours truley, Dan Damn freaks at Drew! xoxo P.S. I would also love to have Alexis sleep in my bed with me...hahahaha! Current Mood: chipper Current Music: rilo kiley-85 (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:08 pm	Jamis Jamis Jamis...La La La La Lord on campus! This is terribly old, but I had to post it, I just had to! Jamis' farewell note from the roomate...ha! Dearest Jim, I fear that you and I are not meant to reside next to one another in close quarters like I originally had hoped. It was with great restraint and utter fear that I have come to the decision to pack up my belongings (monoejection equipment included) and head off to live on my own. I hope you can forgive me in the long run and trust in the knowledge that living with you this past semester has made me into the better person I am today. I love you and I'll miss your pearly white smile from day to day. Keep me in your heart, your mind, and most importantly, your prayers. Yours in Peace Love and War, Luke B. Jackson JAMIS...IT'S A LIFESTYLE. hahahahahahahaha!!! I love you Lord Jamis!!! Current Mood: crazy Current Music: yo yo yo!!! (Comment on this)
12:53 pm	Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeha! Okay, so I'm a retart...not a retard, a tart. It is beautiful Friday and I'm heading out. I actually tried to go home last night at 5:00 am but, I was shut down by Alysia because she said I was insane and it was snowing but, I thought going home was my best idea yet. So, I didn't realize we lived in the mountains of Colorado...oh wait, nevermind we DON'T!!! This is frigin NJ, why the hell does it snow every frigin time I try to leave the house? Whatever, clearly this icy cold weather is really something to write home to mom about on a 3x5 Mead index card with a #2 Dixon-Ticonderoga pencil. Excuse me, I'd like to state that I am currently watching the Maury Povich show...and may I mention, it's sick! There's all these mother-daughter twin greasers on, getting make-overs, and they cha-cha their way out from backstage and shimmy down the aisle with "We are Family" blasting in the background. I feel sick...what the hell has entertainment resorted to? hahahaha!! I can't. I just said cha-cha and shimmy in the same sentence...I think I'm the only person on the planet who actually cracks themself up...hysterically...all the time. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!! JERRY SPRINGER...FAT ASS TRUCK STOP HOOKERS at the low, low price of $40!!! Sory guys, I've Gotta go! xoxo Alexis Current Mood: silly Current Music: Jerry Springer like woah in a handbasket! ha! I might vomit! (Comment on this)
4:15 am	drama.... Going home for the weekend to get away from this school...i cant handle this terrible place for a few days...i need a break so im going to see mommy and daddy! yay! call my cell...im going to be bored! xoxo AP Current Mood: dirty Current Music: I haven't showered in 2 days!!! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 26th, 2003
2:01 am	YOooooooooooooooooooooooooOo! Hi! This will be short cause Judge Mathis just came and its a dispute about a Motley Crue Tribute Band! hahahahaha! I love this show! It's so sick! Channel 11, from 2-3:00 in the pm, watch it you'll die! Yea so, I went to Vintage Vinyl last night with T...it was cool. Then I came back to the dorm and sat around and downloaded 98 songs from Kazaa! I'm clearly a losing bastard! Anyway...so I decide to skip all classes today cause I'm a lazy fuck and I wake up at a nice brisk 2:30...only to find out my clock is an hour fast and it's really only 1:30. Which clearly sucked cause I wanted to sleep my day away!!! Whatever! Anyway...Today is Jamis' Birthday! Yay! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY JAMIS! Mathis is calling my name...gotta go! xoxo Current Mood: chipper Current Music: through the wall from Carl's room-Jewel-Hands (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 25th, 2003
7:04 am	Being cool on the school front... Rutgers sucks the big one but what am I gonna do...I'm here forever I'm sure. Today was boring so far...I woke up got all dolled up for nothing and then sat around online and watching tv for the rest of the day...I have class at 7:40 but I'm not so sure I'm going to go. I guess I'll just pick the Tonester up and then maybe sit in class for a little and then come back here. I actually am planning on buckling down so I think im gonna do some reading tonight. Should be fun! I actually read last night too...in bed! Sarah was amazed! Anyway...I'm very happy recently...I don't know why...I just am... ; ) Okay...so I'll write again later. What do you think of the name ...Chad Michael Murray? I think it's really something special. I miss Cait! Florida in a few weeks yay! xoxo Lexface Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Sonic Youth-Sugar Cane (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 24th, 2003
11:29 am	its been awhile... It's been like a week...but it's ok because I have nothing to report really...I went to a funny party on Saturday night though. It was so sick...I was the only sober person there first of all...so that clearly added to the sickness. Okay, so some enormous 6'7" Irishman named Sean Graney (or so dubbed by me...Dickey Greenleaf) tries to get with me repeatedly! It was hilarious he was so drunk, that he later actually peed his pants and drank the beer he had been ashing in all night. I was dying! Everytime I would ask him if he liked or enjoyed soemthing he would state...plainly..."If you do...I do." hahaha!! Then I tried to entice him to a delicacy which I said was intestine with hollondaise sauce but was in fact a used condom which was so fouly placed upon the dresser in the kid Nick's whose party it was room. I couldn't do it though! I felt it was too gross and mean but Cait and Robert Clark thought it was the best idea yet. It was really funny and sick simultaneously...infact at one point, Dickey proceeded to "mount" (hahahahaha!) me and lick my naked neck...I wanted to barf but I was rescued by the opening of the door. I also told him the story which started consistently as..."As we lay here head to head..." it was so sick. Anyway...I fele the previous passage is incoherent. I just have much to say about this awful yeti of a character. Oh well...that basically sums up most of the sick stuff for that night. We also got THE CRAVE after the party and Cait pitched the 8 sack it was like good old times! My new baby bulldog pupperoo is adorable! Her name is Sophia and she's sooooooooooooooooooooooo cuddly! I la la la love her like woah! I'm tired...nighty xoxo Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Sigur Ros- who knows how to spell any of their songs!! hehe (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
9:58 am	I am excited I can finally post my quizzes! You are Let's Not Shit Ourselves (To Love and To Be Loved) Which Bright Eyes song are you? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: bored Current Music: watching the Bachelorette hehe! (Comment on this)